(S3) - Weekend PT #1 - Off-Season

[Bzerkap]

Prepare??? Offseason?? There is no offseason for Mat Akselsen! While everyone else is lounging around in the backyards barbequing or flying to exotic locations and banging all the broads they can find, I'm in the United States working hard on my game!

I went out to the woods of Wisconson and bought a log cabin, JUST OFF THE HIGHWAY. Me and my little brother, Brat Akselsen, are working on our strength and conditioning and hand technique. I'm ready to shred the league this year. We do all kinds of things, log pulls, marching in the snow. I shipped the snow in from Yellowknife in the summer. Yea I'm ballsy, what about it?

I also work part time as an Uber driver back in my hometown of Fertile. It keeps me super fucking humble, unlike that uppity piece of shit Jayce Tuck. Fucking pretty boy. I'm gonna smoke him this year too. Easy peasy dude, I've pulled logs, driven drunks from the bar home, and ate my momma's apple pie and chicken pot pie. Pie is for winners! All that chicken, all those carbs make me a growing boy ready to stonewall the NSFLs best pass rushers. I'm a beast and no one is gonna be able to fight me. It's gonna be an awakening this season.