*Wraith's Logan Uchiha Off-Season Presser

[Air Crou]

You and I are the best safety duo in the league. How much do you agree with the statement, and why?

How much did you miss me?

How many Ultimus are we going to win together in Yellowknife?

[CalvinP]

Hello Logan! Leaf here, I have a few questions for you.
How do you feel about being reunited with Kroustis?
Do you think Yellowknife will be an Ultimus contender?
What sushi roll do you like from my sushi palace?
How do you feel about “Smelly” Cooter?

I'll have a bullet point for each answer and I'll answer in order for you:


- I can't wait to be back on the field with Kroustis, I know he'll help me maximize my potential on the field. Our synergy can not be stated enough. We'll definitely be a improved defense with him there.

- I have the utmost confidence in everyone I share that uniform with and with our front office to their best to put us in a position to keep winning for a long time. Long story short 7 year dynasty for the Wraiths start next season. Don't @ me.

- I like the volcano roll, why? Because you're an innovator and cook them with actual lava. Sure they're awful, but the preparation was phenomenal.

- I will not speak negatively about our disgusting leader we have on the field.

[CalvinP]

What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is your favorite color?

- My name is Lancelot of Camelot (Logan Uchiha)
- To seek the Holy Grail (Ultimus championship)
- Blue

[CalvinP]

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Ryan Leaf Jr, Dermott Lavelle Jr, Slm the Agent

You're stranded on a deserted island and come across a magical lamp with a genie inside that will grant you 3 wishes. Except for the means to escape the island, what 3 things do you wish for?

Who do you have winning the Ultimus this year?

Do you put peanut butter on both slices of a PBJ sandwich, or only one?

- KFM:

K- The agent. Scum of the Earth
F- Dermott. Smash once have em hooked and then break his heart.
M- Leaf. Have you seen the way he reps Norfolk and the Wraiths? Dude is loyal AF. He'll be mAh boo.

-My 3 wishes would be:

the ability to expand the size of the island as far as I want at my will.

The ability to comminate with all living organisms on the planet.

I'm assuming I can't ask for more wishes so I'll wish for no human violence directed towards my island/kingdom.

-As far as the Ultimus I swear I don't even know who's in it. Once our season came to an end I tuned out the playoffs and hit the gym/film room.

-The PB&J depends solely on the bread. Is it plain normal cut, kinda cheap bread? Peanut butter on one side, jelly on the piece. Thicker more expensive bread? Both on each slice.

-

[37thchamber]

Rumour has it that Lennox Garnett has challenged you to a race, with the loser donating to charity. Are you going to accept?

Who's the toughest receiver you've faced in the NSFL?

Of the great receivers that have now retired, who would you most liked to have faced off against?

Of the great defensive backs that have now retired, whose career path would you most like to emulate?

Who would you consider to be your biggest rival?

If you could sign one active player to your team right now, no questions asked, who would it be and why?

[CalvinP]

How many times can you write "Fuck Dermot" in one presser? Show me.

Fuck Dermot

Once

Writing the 'd' word is enough of a struggle

[CalvinP]

Worst moment of the season for you?


Follow-up. What was the most impressive thing you broke in rage around that time?

-Worse moment was definitely the stretch of losing 5 out of 6 games. We should've had a at least a few of them in the bad but we were just out of sync with each other on both sides of the ball. It was ugly. We finally fell back in tune with each other towards the end of the season but it was just too late.


-Both loses to the Sabercats definitely. Both were by a field goal. I couldn't make enough plays to stop them from getting in FG range. We should've won both, but that's why people say they have championship DNA.

[CalvinP]

What are your long term goals for Logan?

What are you working on in the offseason?

(6-4)(7+3)((5*15)+4)?

- In the long term my goal is to go down in history as one of, if not, the greatest safety in NSFL, but let's talk shorter term for a second, me and all the guys on the defense sat down and promised each other to be committed to bringing a championship to the Wraiths. I don't want to look so far to the end of my career so the furthest out I'll look is season to season. And with that, my goal is a championship.


- Stamina and shiftiness. I have all the potential I'm just not the most explosive with man coverage so I've focused my entire off-season to that.


-1580

[CalvinP]

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being bad and 10 being bad, how bad of a QB is Cooter? Please go in depth with your analysis.

Do you have any specific S16 players you look forward to seeing fail, namely any cornerback prospects related to past NSFL players starting with D and ending with ermot?

How handsome is Leaf?

Why is RSJ3 the greatest running back of all time?

-About 10. When I see cooter... I just..... I wanna just fight things when I watch him walk on the field. He holds a football wrong, he throws it underhand, he wears flip flops sat practice, he won't stop singing 'ol town road', he's just the worse.

-Tell Dermot I said go to hell.

- Leaf.... Is what happens when an angel has sex with a double rainbow. His beauty can't be comprehended on this level of existence.

-It's all in those thighs man.... Those damn thighs...

[CalvinP]

Yellowknife has had a history of pretty lack lustre Safeties. How do you intend to change that?

Also, do you have any insight as to why Dermot’s internet history includes “husband”, “swap”, “wife”, and “is Jimmy Fallow actually funny?”?

-Dedication. I have seen the history here and I just want to be remembered. In order to do that I need to be unlike anything they've seen here before.

-Because he's the living embodiment of the word 'moist'.