(S26) - PT 4 - It could be a bowling alley!

[bluesfan55]

shl pt: https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid2959330

[KC15]

PBE Affiliate PT  +3 TPE

[jzajenius36]

My secret santa really nailed it this year.  I’m still canvassing the locker room, trying to figure out who pulled my name and how they actually found and came up with this gift.  Amongst all the bottles of whiskey, scratch tickets, and lame pre-wrapped last second gift baskets from TJ Maxx, someone actually found my white whale, held onto it for months, and gifted it to me this year.  Dressed in my Christmas-themed jock strap, santa hat, and nothing else, I grabbed the gift marked for me off the locker room floor.  Such a small little box!  I carefully removed the bow, untied the string, and popped open what seemed to be a slightly larger than normal jewelry box.  But no! There was no ring or watch inside.  It was something far more precious!  It was THE first rock ever thrown at me by someone in the Philadelphia Liberty crowd!  I mean I couldn’t blame them at the time, I had just been pancaked two plays in a row and then committed an offsides penalty.  It was a rough go for me my rookie year.  Then all of a sudden “Bang!”  I hear something clink off my helmet as I’m standing on the sideline.  It was at that moment I truly felt like part of the city.  I’ll never forget it.  And I’m gonna put that big old rock on a chain and wear that thing everywhere.  Thanks santa.

(239 words)

[Cincyfan96]

PRESENTS!!! I gotta say, I love me some presents - and a SURPRISE present! Woah. Keep it coming. Finding a surprise package at my door, I thought at first that it must be for my wife; she likes her some Amazon shopping - especially around Christmastime! But I looked at the label and it was for me! I was gonna wait until Christmas to open the package, but ain't nobody got time for that! So I dug into it and found a card from a couple of buddies of mine @mithrandir and @Tonzy that said "Dude. You've got to stop it with the old workout shorts. The holes are becoming a problem." We don't even practice together anymore...Word really gets around in this league. Anyways, in the box was a brand new set of Nike workout clothes. And these are SLICK. I know that I haven't bought any new equipment this year, but I didn't think that anybody had noticed...I'd started to call these shorts "lucky" but maybe that odor isn't a good aura...Alright, I'll give them a try, my dudes. But if I start regressing out there, the old shorts are coming back! Thanks, and Merry Christmas!!!

[Jo3fish5]

"Fra-gi-ley."
That must be Italian.
I think that says "fragile."
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
They did a job on this, you know?
No, here, Ralph, hold this.
There could be anything in there!
Jesus!
Maybe they forgot.
It's in there. It's gotta be in there.
Would you look at that?
What?
Would you look at that?
What is it?
It's a leg!
But what is it?
Well, it's a leg.
You know, like in a statue.
Statue?
Yeah, statue!
Yeah, statue!
Ralphie!
My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.
Holy smoke, would you...
Do you know what this is?
This is a lamp.
It was indeed a lamp.
Isn't that great? What a great lamp!
I don't know.
Here, hold it. Hold it. Here, go on.
The old man's eyes boggled...
overcome by art.
I know just the place for it.
Right in the middle of our front room window!
Jesus, God.
Honey?
No. It's all right.
Let's see...
This goes to the radio and this goes to the...
Well, it's just one too many.
Well, let's see.
The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone...
and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.
Look at that! Will you look at that?
Isn't that glorious?
It's indescribably beautiful. It reminds me of the Fourth of July!
Turn off all the lights.
I wanna see what it looks like from the street.
I'll go get the dining room.
Couldn't we talk this over?
Move it a little bit to the right. A little that way.
Just a little... More to the right.
Yeah. More. That's it. No, stop!
Right there. That's wonderful.
Parker, what is that?
Don't bother me now. Can't you see I'm busy?
Yeah, but what is that?
It's a major award.
A major award?
Shucks, I wouldn't have known that. It looks like a lamp.
It is a lamp, you nincompoop. But it's a major award.
I won it.
Damn, hell, you say you won it?
Yeah.
Mind power, Sweed, mind power.
The entire neighborhood was turned on.
You should see what it looks like from out here!
It could be seen up and down Cleveland Street.
The symbol of the old man's victory.
Yeah, he won that. It's a major award.

[SchwarzNarr]

When Melvin left his forested abode, his vacation home back in Michigan, he wasn’t expecting the gift that was set before him. While most of his teammates and friends have provided cake for the holidays and his birthday celebrations over the past few seasons, only his truest friends knew that Melvin required cake only for celebratory achievements, and surviving another year on this planet was not one such occasion. While Melvin would not turn his nose down at the gift of cake, this holiday present could only be given by one who knew him intimately and dearly.

Looking at the gigantic Bullwinkle plushie (Melvin’s hero, if you didn’t know), Melvin knew that this was a gift from former owner Daria Guava-Fresca. It was the gift that came every year, and had, ever since Melvin was little and staying with Daria. While Bullwinkle had grown in size as both Melvin grew and Daria’s wallet grew, this year for some reason felt even more bitter sweet. She had set up with the manufacturer of this plushie to send one to the home with the same card, every year.

To the best friend a girl could ever have:

Melvin, I know that you love Bullwinkle almost as much as I love you

I hope that you can snuggle with him on the cold nights when I can’t be there with you

You’ll always have a piece of me here with you even when I’m far away

Love, Daria

Melvin didn’t know how many years the plushies would come, but it was further proof that Guava-Fresca was the best owner and friend he could have ever asked for.

[Opera_Phantom]

Jay Cue gets to his multi million dollar home in the outskirts of Phoenix, after another great practice with his Arizona Outlaws teammates. Parks his car in the giant garage on the complex next to his car collection that would leave Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld crying with shame, says hello to his gardener that is attending to his prize winning flowers and notices a small package on the top of the steps.

"Alfred", he calls so that his butler comes down, "what is this over here? Did my new endorsement stuff arrive already? Seems a bit small for a care package."
"Do not know sir, i was busy informing the servants for the weekly meal menus, but nobody rang the doorbell, that much i can tell you."

So Cue approaches the package, and reads the label - "From the International Simulation Football League - Head Office, To Jay Cue"

Well, this is strange... And opens up the package. Inside, a small piece of thick paper, handwritten, cursive, well drawn letters...

"To Jay Cue, Arizona Outlaws legend: This coupon is good for an Ultimus Win and a Most Valuable Player Award. To be redeemed January 10th after 10PM Eastern Standard Time"

Cue turns the paper over and in small letters reads: "Coupon expires June 2020".

Crap.


(214 words)

[Seymour]

SHL PT

[DApolloS]

Logan awoke to his doorbell being rung around 7 in the morning. Not sure why people feel the need to ring doorbells so early in the morning, but he gets out of bed and goes to check who it is. Looking through the window, he doesn't see anyone, so he opens the door to find a package sitting in front of him on his welcome mat. He brings it inside, puts it on his table while he makes himself a breakfast shake. While waiting for his shake to finish in the blender, he opens the package to find a note from the management of his new ISFL team, The Arizona Outlaws. They have sent him a letter letting him know that when they are ready to call him up, they will be sending two plane tickets to his parents for his home opener with the big league team, along with fully paid accommodations at a nearby hotel and vouchers for the team store so his parents can get decked out in Outlaws gear to cheer on their son when he takes to the field. They did not specify when he would get called up, but with his recent play, Logan is sure it could be sooner rather than later. After being in London for over a year now across the Atlantic ocean, he's sure his parents would be extremely excited to spend a whole weekend in Arizona with their son.

[Yeenoghu]

When the front office clerk at SKY55 Apartments in Chicago brings out a suspiciously disc-shaped package to Juan Domine, he knows immediately who is responsible. Albert Ruschmann, a former London Royals teammate and now flourishing DE for the Colorado Yeti, is a renowned pizza fanatic. In fact, his love of pizza is surpassed only by his love of generosity. After taking the elevator back to his room and ripping open one side of the package, Domine notices something is amiss as a note falls from the inside of the gift. The now-revealed edge of the 'pizza' is metal and glass! Domine looks over the packaging again and sees the word Fragile. Oops. Domine retrieves the note from the floor.

Because we only get to see each other once a season (if we're lucky), I thought you might need a reminder of who the greatest player in the league is.
P.S. Thanks for the win in Week 9. -Dick

Dick, also known as Richard Leaking, is a friend and fellow linebacker in the league. After battling against Domine in the London-Dallas showdowns that were top billing in the DSFL, Leaking was selected by Orange County in the prior season's draft. Domine more daintily unwraps the rest of the package and holds it out in front of himself. 'A mirror', he says to his reflection.