(S21) - Ultimus Week

[BRNXB0MBERS]

1. Playoff Review
After a 9-0 start to the season, the New Orleans Second Line lost four games in a row and limped into the playoffs as the two seed in the ASFC. Now forced to play in the wildcard game, they matched up against the Austin Copperheads, a team they had beaten twice in the regular season.

Less than five minutes into the game, an Alfredo Crisco kick from 23 yards out sailed through the uprights to give Austin the lead. The groans from the New Orleans fans were almost heartbreaking. Luckily for them, the Second Line answered with a Forrest Gump touchdown run and Herbert Prohaska field goal before the first quarter ended. Although Austin was able to tie the game at 10-10 with a passing touchdown early in the second quarter, New Orleans never lost the lead. They added a Marcella Toriki touchdown run in the third quarter and a 45-yard field goal in the fourth. Easton Cole threw for another touchdown in garbage time, but it was too little, too late.

Back on the right track, the New Orleans second line face a tough Orange County Otters team in the conference championship game for the right to play in the Ultimus. Each team won on the road in the regular season, so it should be an exciting game.

Code:

219 words

16. Scouting Report
Tristan Gronlie is a gigantic defensive lineman who projects as a 3-4 nose tackle (or interior lineman in a 4-2-5 nickel package) at the next level. He is a controlling force at the line of scrimmage who offensive linemen struggle to move. Gronlie recorded 31 tackles, three sacks, and one forced fumble in the DSFL for the expansion London Royals. He got a good amount of playing time, and improved immensely throughout the season.

The biggest issue for Gronlie and his draft stock is his inability to finish a play. With his power and athleticism, most coaches would expect bigger numbers and more negative plays, especially at the DSFL level of competition. Of course, on the field production is only part of it. If he can put together an impressive Combine and nail his interviews, any team in need of defensive line help will have him on their board.

In a normal year, Gronlie would probably be taken in the middle rounds. However, this is a historically deep class, and his relative lack of activity, TPE, and production likely slots him into the later rounds. That’s great news for one NSFL team; they will get a huge steal if Gronlie continues updating and improving.

He might need another season in the DSFL, but he has the potential to be a solid player for many years in the right NSFL situation.

Code:

230 words

17. Sponsorships
Just like last year, Pete “Plop” Miller continues to score TV commercials that pay homage to historically great nose tackles. Last year, it was “Mean” Joe Greene and a play on “hey kid, catch”. This year, Plop recreates a classic from the portfolio of Warren Sapp.

Living up to his stinky nickname, Miller stars in the newest commercial for Right Guard deodorant. The ad opens on a sports bar, where Miller is playing foosball with Sapp. After scoring a goal, Miller raises his arms in excitement. The wave of stench spreads throughout the bar, which causes Sapp and everyone else to pass out. Even the plastic foosball players fall off their rods. Miller steps outside, not sure what to do. A few minutes pass, and a laughing Sapp comes stumbling out. “Come on, man. Don’t you know your history? I figured this out almost 20 years ago”. Sapp hands Plop a stick of Right Guard Power Stripe and they reenter the bar. Armed with his newly found freshness, Miller returns to the foosball table and continues to score points against Sapp. He also catches the eye of a nearby beauty, played by his real-life wife. This time, the plastic foosball players jump from their rods with joy and perform the classic Riverdance.

Code:

212 words

20. Nostalgia
I have so many fond memories in this league. It was exciting to be picked up by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers and learn the ropes. It was awesome, but a little confusing, to be drafted by the Norfolk Seawolves. I laugh about it now, so my misunderstanding of the new player waiver process is a good memory. And, of course, being drafted by the Arizona Outlaws in the NSFL was the culmination of my hard work.

But, nothing compares to my first sack. My rookie year started slowly. In the first game, I only had two tackles. I followed that performance with one tackle in week two and one tackle in week three. I finally had a decent game in week four, when I registered five tackles. We lost that game 55-17, so I was not in the mood to celebrate. We finally got our first win in week five, and I got my first sack. I was over the moon. That game boosted my confidence and lead to a great rookie campaign.

I finished the year with 44 tackles, one tackle for a loss, one forced fumble, and nine sacks. Those nine sacks were good for first among rookies and ninth overall. It was two more than the next rookie, Colorado Yeti defensive end Immanuel Blackstone. I’m not in this for the individual achievement, but I will always look back at my first sack fondly.

Code:

236 words

edit: word use in section 1. word count updated

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Playoff Review

ASFC Championship: OCO vs NOLA

Of course the championship game is what matters most but whether it's the NSFL or the NFL, sometimes it's really the conference championship games that end up being the real showstoppers. This season in the NSFL was no different as the ASFC Championship featured the two best teams in the league. No offense to the Yellowknife Wraiths but I think most people knew that the winner of this game would be taking home the Ultimus.

The game started off heavily in New Orleans' favor with the Second Line leading 17-3 heading into halftime. But with the home crowd behind them and led by OCO legend Franklin Armstrong, the Otters battled back as Armstrong threw and rushed for touchdowns and Ludicolo Night added his own on the ground with just minutes left in the fourth quarter to send the game to overtime.

You had to believe that whichever team received the ball in OT was going to put the game away. The football gods looked favorably on the Second Line this time as they won the coin toss and marched down the field into field goal range for Prohaska and put the game away.

Between the strength of these two teams and the game needing to go to overtime to decide a Victor this game was easily and instant classic and with NOLA rolling in the Ultimus, was easily the best game of the season. The MVP of the game would be hard to pick but I'd have to give it to Stan Francisco for guiding the offense down the stretch even when the OCO defense turned up the pressure in the second half.




OL Appreciation

Givussafare Rubbe was easily the most dominant offensive lineman in the league this season with 73 pancakes and 0 sacks allowed. He continued his dominant performance in the playoffs as the New Orleans Second Line marched through to an Ultimus victory. In two playoff games he recorded 19 pancakes and 0 sacks allowed, a whopping 11 of which came in the championship game. Certainly the Second Line team as a whole was on point this entire season, but it's hard not to believe that Rubber in particular gave them an advantage that many teams do not have. Some GMs have seemed to scoff at the notion that human offensive linemen can make a difference. Rubbe has been known to be an outspoken advocate for other offensive lineman in the league and tried to bring attention to the lack of respect that they receive compared to other players. One such example is the exclusion of offensive lineman from the prob bowl despite the influx of talent at the position in recent seasons. Rubbe's fantastic performance both this season and postseason, as well as recent research done to understand the impact of human offensive lineman compared to their not counterparts should only help offensive linemen to gain ground in their quest for more recognition.


Team Culture

It's no surprise that the locker room and culture of Chicago right now feels a little off. Between our previous GMs both leaving in such a short window, players asking to be traded or released and of course very little draft capital for this upcoming draft, the little bit of wind that was left in our sails has gone out. It wouldn't be a surprise for anyone on the outside to look at the team and think that well there really is no culture. But I think the people we have left now to build around and our new GMs are a great group. We still have an active LR and people committed to really building an identity for this team. And despite the general feeling the league has towards Chicago, I think a lot of young players are interested in coming in and helping us to build that identity. I know I'm going to do everything I can to help the team regain its footing but it will be an uphill climb. That's why it's going to be essential for us to find players that really want to be here both through drafting and FA. I think the fact that we are basically rebooting this franchise yet again short of rebranding may actually be a selling point for players. The franchise in terms of the league is still relatively young so players coming in have a chance to cement themselves in the team's legacy.




Nostalgia

Definitely some of my favorite memories are from when I first joined the league in S2 and was drafted by the Liberty. Adam and SilverFox were extremely dedicated to the team right away and the draft experience was great with such a huge class that many members of are still here today. Our LR had a ton of great guys like TO, numbers and Perry, the Toleso gang. And there was so much surrounding our team and a lot of ground to cover in such a young league. The league had already expanded so we were coming in as underdogs, we had some fun rivalries already with the Legion (now NOLA) and the Wraiths and the league was still so new that everything was fresh.

The league is still fun and there are a ton of great people here. Obviously I still enjoy it since I'm here years later. But, there's been a lot of down times in between that I've seen. All the multis with Er basically made me leave the league for a while. Then with Hondo on my second time through I couldn't really enjoy it as much because of just being really busy with things in RL and being in other leagues. Now of course I'm driving back in again and have already experienced issues with GMs in the DSFL in Portland and of course now the shitshow in Chicago. My third run through here is off to a rocky start. I know it will get better but nothing will ever really match the bliss of that first player with easily what has been my favorite LR environment during my time here.

[ddrector]

2) Playoffs MVP

I’m gonna cheat slightly and give two players co-MVP for NOLA’s big win against the defending champion Austin Copperheads. The two headed rushing attack of Gump and Toriki combined for 264 yards of the 432 total yards the offense gained in the game. They also both added rushing touchdowns in the game, which were our only touchdowns in the game. The only other points scored in the game for NOLA were from kicker Herbert Prohaska who had 11 points kicking. Austin could not find an answer for Gump or Toriki all game as Gump had 6.2 yards per carry and Toriki finished with 5.8 yards per carry. Both very impressive numbers. They were basically a one two punch combo the entire game. Gump would come in and have a few rushes in a row and then Toriki would take over and it would just continue like this back and forth down the field. Gump had a 20 yard long rush and Toriki’s long was 17 yards. I can’t really give the nod to either player, because they both did just as much to help the team win this game, so that’s why I’m giving Gump and Toriki co-MVP for the NOLA wildcard game against Austin.

Code:

205 words

3) X-Factor

For the New Orleans Second Line I think our x-factor player that will lead us to a win on the road against the menaces that are the Orange County Otters will be none other than Johnny Slothface. This is Slothface's last year as a member of the Second Line and I just think he wants to go out in style, and what's more important than finally getting over the hump and winning the ASFC Championship game? This is the third year in a row the Second Line have played on the road in the ASFC Championship game, and I don't think any of us want to see a third loss in a row. Johnny especially since he will fly into the sun of retirement at the end of the season. I think Johnny will be a monster making plays all over the field and don't be surprised if he forces a turnover in this one. The Otters are typically very careful with the ball, but Johnny is hungry for a win and a big forced fumble or interception might be just the thing to put the Second Line over the top in this one to finally make it to the big game for the first time in a long time.

Code:

210 words

19) Team Culture

I can't speak from a place of much experience as I've only been a part of the New Orleans Second Line locker room, but I know our locker room could hold up with any other team's locker room. There is a ton of camaraderie in the locker room and everyone seems to be happy to be there and having a good time. There is always someone around to help give advice if you need it for anything from drafting in fantasy to just general life advice. There's a ton of talent in the locker room with some amazing graphics being created from a few different members of the team. Hippo and I try and write a little post after every game giving a player from each side of the ball a game ball to keep the morale boosted whether we are coming off a win or loss. The GMs are very good about communicating with the team on what the plan is for things so they aren't blindsided by moves they might be making. I've made some of my closest internet friends being in the NOLA locker room and I hope to be a part of it for a very long time.

Code:

202 words

20) Nostalgia

I'm hoping the answer to this is different in a few days. There's a few different memories I have that I might consider one of my happiest memories. Finding out I got drafted by NOLA and would be joining my Norfolk Seawolf teammate Isa in NOLA was super exciting for me. TomHanks and Isa were huge in helping me get reinvigorated in the league and become a max earner. I honestly don't think I would still be in the league if I hadn't been drafted by NOLA. Another one was our win in the playoffs last year when we took down the Otters in the wildcard round. They had won like three Ultimus' in a row and I was just ecstatic to take them down. In the same vein the win on the road in Orange County this season was a huge memory too. Everyone knows how hard it is to win on the road and taking down one of the most dominant teams in the league on the road was huge. Of course they returned the favor a few weeks later, so I think my happiest memory has to be getting drafted by NOLA, which lead to eventually becoming a member of the War Room and I plan on being a member of NOLA for life.

Code:

217 words

[Matty7478]

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Written: Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims, give your predictions; if it is afterwards, give a review of the game.

Tonight's DSFL Conference Semi-Final sees the Kansas City Coyotes host the Portland Pythons in a historically interesting match-up. The Portland Pythons go into this game off an 8-6 record in the regular season, capped off by a 2-win streak in the final weeks against the expansion teams. Their offence centres on the chemistry in their passing game. Holding a 3rd place in overall passing yardage, their maxed out QB George O'Donnell has been key to unlocking the ability of their receiving core, namely Raheem Okusi who has managed 894 yards and 6 TDs. Meanwhile, their defence allows the least amount of points overall in the league, with 4 scarily high TPE send-downs in their front 7: Linebackers Gregor MacGregor and Perry Tucker Jr., DE Logan Noble Jr. and DT Jaune Arc. Whilst their yards against are not the best in any category, they are tough customers to deal with defensively. On the Coyotes sideline meanwhile, the team has a somewhat balanced overall setup between pass and run. With Chika Fujiwara, they too have a maxed out QB, who has made great use of wide-outs Witheblock and Jeeta this year. Meanwhile, their main RB duo of Fakon and Nova have produced top-half numbers in a league that has produced outstanding rushing effort all season from every team. On defence, the team holds key players such as safeties Bois and Murphy, as well as the most feared prospect in the upcoming NSFL draft; DT Phat Boi. Overall, this will be a very interesting battle between the teams who were easily the best in their conference. In the end, I predict that home field advantage and better special teams play will win Kansas City this conference championship, and they will advance into the Ultimini game against a currently unknown opponent.

Code:

297 words

4) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human offensive lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome.

As a playoff K/P myself, and since it has not been outlawed by the task producers, I will talk about the experience of my player so far this year. Matthew McDairmid - one of 2 K/P that currently play for the Kansas City Coyotes - has plied his trade in the DSFL this year mostly in the role of Punter. With Lefty Louis being sent down and being more proven at this level, the KC coaches felt it was necessary to assess McDairmid's consistency from the tee and from hand before placing the onus on him as the season wore on. His stats were relatively good throughout the season; with a average punt distance of 42.8 yards and 8 of his punts being downed inside the 20, his stats placed him relatively close to his nearest K/P rivals. However, there are rumours circling throughout the league now that McDairmid may have found his way into taking both the kicking and punting roles for the Coyotes' push to the Ultimini. How will this change the KC gameplan on certain distances from the goal-line? Well, it's simple: Louis is an accurate kicker with a decent leg, however KC have decided against using him from longer distances due to his less powerful leg making longer kicks less automatic. With a power K/P in McDairmid however - whose rookie season has revolved massively around his growth as a power punter - those longer field goals become more achievable. And in a close game where KC is struggling to make inroads past the opponents 30 yard line, having a kicker with a bigger - yet still somewhat accurate - leg may be the key to winning match-ups against the tough teams that await in the playoffs. Of course, McDairmid will be hoping the game is won before he has to put the team on his back for any field goals - after all the team winning always comes first - but he will definitely be ready to prove himself as an owner of the clutch gene should the situation arise.

Code:

345 words

8) Revenge
Written: Write 200 words about a team you’d like to get revenge on next season and why. Did they knock you out of the playoffs? Blow you out?

The team I personally would like to take revenge on next year is the Minnesota Grey Ducks. The game being discussed here is the final game of their season (and hopefully the 3rd last of ours) in our home stadium. The maths behind the game were simple; win the game, and we would have home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Lose the game, and if Myrtle Beach overcame Tijuana away, they would have home field advantage through the playoffs. As we hosted the game against Minnesota, morale was extremely high. We were ready to beat the reigning Ultimini champs and run into the playoffs ready to overcome everyone in our home field. What followed was one of the silliest slip-ups I have seen from a special teams unit in a long time. Our offence was as electric as normal; Fujiwara threw for 167 yards and 2 TDs, along with a 107.5 passer rating. Further, Nova rushed 25 times for 144 yards and a touchdown as well. Our defence forced them to punt a high 7 times, and held them to 253 yards and 6/14 on 3rd down all day. However, 2 other things would lead to our downfall with a score of 23-20. Firstly, the punt coverage unit allowed a 79 yard punt return TD by Yoda - which counts as 7 points given up by the special teams unit that more than likely would've won us the game. And secondly, Lefty Louis - our kicker - had a nightmare game, going 0/2 from Field Goals and missing an extra point. Overall, a 14 point swing was given up over 60 minutes by our special teams, and these mistakes inevitably lost us our home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Therefore, next season, Minnesota will be the one team that the Coyote faithful will be happy to challenge and hopefully overcome.

Code:

310 words

11) Rivalry
Written: Which team or player would you consider to be your greatest rival? Write 200 words on why you are rivals with them and why you want them to lose (don’t harass other users please).

As a Kicker/Punter at the DSFL level, I don't feel that any of my fellow players that rep the Brand are my rivals, as we've all got the same goal - to become the top kickers of our generation. And so I will discuss the team that I feel is the biggest current rivals against my team, the Season 21 Kansas City Coyotes. And, if you have watched any games in the DSFL this season, you would know that the only team really capable of being our current rival is none other than the number 1 seed for the playoffs overall - the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. The Buccaneers are stacked in almost every position; offensively they have great offensive lineman, their running game borders on cheating, their wide receivers sure do also exist. But seriously though, having as good a running game as they do thanks to their RBs Dax Frost and J.B. Apollo makes defending against them almost impossible. And, while their mobile QB Ramos has struggled to be the greatest QB in the league this year, because of how much emphasis teams must put on stopping the run, the field suddenly opens up for him a whole lot more than it would've without this killer rushing attack. Their defence also has multiple high earners, along with a disgracefully good secondary and a trio on the defensive line in Egghands, Longshot and Clemente that makes opposing linemen and offences scream for help. In truth, the biggest reason I want Myrtle Beach to lose tonight in the conference championship round is that I don't want to face them again. They are without a doubt the toughest challenge we would face on our way to the Ultimini - having beaten us twice already this season - so while I believe we could beat them even if they did make it, it would surely be easier to take on other teams in their place.

Code:

322 words

[Ismael8907]

9. The Kansas city coyotes will be the next dynasty! How you may ask? Well KCC has plenty of really talented players especially on the defense. And which most of these players will be send back down which means KCC would still be an amazing team right after the draft. Also KCC is on their way to making the Ultimini and hell even winning it. It would be a really historic moment in franchise history and would set KCC to be a big dynasty for the next couple of seasons. Kansas City will be the next big Dynasty in the DSFL and im pretty sure many people will know that. The playoffs will determine if we can make a big impact on the league or not.(Writing this before the playoffs). But my prediction is that we will win the ultimini and even if we dont we still have plenty of years to come since we have amazing talent and will keep the winning records up. Hopefully most players drafted will get sent back down and start the winning records back again and hopefully win the ultimini back to back. Welp thats my Ted talk about the coyotes see yall.

7. Sim clearly Screwed us in the last weeks of the DSFL regular season and im pretty sure most people know we were robbed from winning those games. Well mainly the sim screwed us in the KCC vs MINN game. Heres how. While we were versing MINN the kicker missed an extra point and a field goal which pissed me and my team off since our kicker has really good Kicking accuracy and Kicking Power. Also he could bomb kicks from the 50 yd field and somehow in this game he couldnt. Im not blaming our kicker im just blaming sim that it destroyed our chances of winning. At the end of the first quarter we got a Touch down but we missed the Extra point. It was pretty stupid for us and hopefully this doesn't happen to us today in the playoffs. Anyways in the 4th quarter our kicker missed a 44 yd field goal which was dumb for us which i mentioned that he literally kicked field goals from 50 yds and now cant kick a 44 yd Field goal? Like cmon sim this man has really good kick accuracy and power so sim clearly screwed us over. Welp lets just see what happens in the playoffs.

3. I think that Chika fujiwara aka @`Jackets28` will help us a lot during our playoff run.He had an amazing season and he can even becoming the MVP if he can lead us into the ultimini win. I believe that an anime character will lead us into ulimini championship.(Thought i would never say that lol.) I definiently beleive chika will carry the offense and push the Coyotes to the ultimini. Thing is im writing this right before the playoffs so i might be super wrong after i post this lol. Anyways Chika has had an Amazing year and with that amazing year he is gonna definitley gonna get our team to the playoffs. I think most of my team can agree with me that Chika will push us into an ultimini W. Also their is other players on pur team like Andrew Nova or kevin Fakon who could help us a lot in the playoff run to. Their is many amazing talents on our team but i think Chika will be the one pulling through and helping our offensealong with our amazing WRs. So thats pretty much me ranting about an anime girl carrying us.

16. Fawn dillmibals aka @`enforcer` is gonna be my scouting report this ultimus year(: Fawn Dillmibals currently sits at 196 tpe and looking to make itinto the 200 tpe gang. He has had an amazing year so far and is an amazing LB and racking up those tackles.Lets get into his stats.Fawn currently has 122 tackles which is really good. And he has been absolutely ballin out on defense and has helped us out a lot during our season.He is extremely good especially for the 69 pick lol. Anyways he also has one sack. And he seems like he would be an amazing coverage LB since he has gotten 2 INTs and has gotten one pick 6. I beleive he is currently tied up with interceptions with another or a couple LBs. But i urge every team out their to pick him up early or else he will swoop away since he is an amazing LB and should defenitley go 1st-3rd round. He is also really active in the Locker room and has been grinding on media and making huge articles. Teams if you need a highly active LB that will become geat one day this is your guy. Welp thats my ultimus week for this season.

[morsy]

1) In the first game of the Ultimini playoffs we have the Sealwolves facing off against the Buccaneers. While the Buccaneers have the better record at 9-5 the Seawolves are close with only one less win. The Seawolves also scored 18 more points this season and allowed 22 less than Myrtle Beach. Both teams won one game each during their regular season matchups but Norfolk are on a roll right now, winning the last three games of the season. If the Seawolves find a way to stop Myrtle Beach‘s rushing offense they have a good chance to win. I don‘t believe they will though, so the Buccaneers will get the win.
In the NFC North the Kansas City Coyotes will play against the Portland Pythons. It looks like a close match on paper as well, both teams with similar regular season records. Unlike the Coyotes, who played more offensive minded with 22 points scored per game, the Pythons relied more on their defense, scoring almost 4.5 points less per game than Kansas City. Both defenses looked very competent throughout the season and here, just as in the SFC game, both teams managed to win one game against each other in the regular season. You know the saying, offense wins games but defense wins championships, but since both teams showed a lot of skill on defense and the Coyotes are the better team on offense I believe the Coyotes will win this one.

3) The Myrtle Beach Buccaneers wouldn‘t be in the Ultimini championship game without Dax Frost and I believe he will win the championship for them. Frost isn‘t the strongest or most agile back in the league but he is blazing fast and if you know there‘s one thing GMs love in this league, it‘s speed. Frost had an impressive regular season, rushing for 1592 yards and 12 touchdowns with an average of 4.9 yards per attempt. In the 14 games the Buccaneers played, he rushed for over 100 yards in nine of them, getting more than 155 yards in a game three times. He also doesn‘t seem to be afraid of the big stage, getting an impressive 113 yards against the Seawolves yesterday. If your opponent has to be ready for a big play on the ground that also opens more holes for the team‘s receivers and Alyx Sabor and their tight end Heath Evans made good use of that extra space in the regular season. Put their other great running back J.B. Apollo into the mix and you have four pillars in your offense that can overpower any defense. Football is a team sport and it‘s never just about one player but I‘m sure losing Frost would be the biggest impact on the Myrtle Beach offense and that‘s why he‘s their X-factor.

4) Okay, I have to admit I wanted to write about Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname of the Orange County Otters but since OCO were eliminated from the playoffs, I‘ll have to find another kicker. Luckily it‘n not hard to pick one, as the Otters lost in overtime thanks to a 46 yard field goal by Herbert Prohaska. I can only imagine what it‘s like to be the deciding factor in a conference championship game, the unsung hero if all goes well and you make the field goal or the most hated person on the team if you miss the kick. And it‘s not like a 46 yard field goal is something automatic you make ten out of ten times, it requires a lot more skill than most people think and even the best kickers miss one like that every now and then. Prohaska is still a relatively young kicker, imagine having the delight or despair of a whole franchise and all its fans on your shoulder when you‘re in your mid-twenties. Those kickers need nerves of steel and be ready on the few occasions they step onto the field. They probably work with really good psychologists to be calm and those big moments. But as much as I can appreciate the value a kicker brings to his or her team, I prefer games that are decided by touchdowns so let‘s hope the Ultimus game isn‘t decided by Prohaska or Smalls.

8) It‘s not just one team but two of them. I‘m talking about those damned expansion teams of course, the London Royals and the Dallas Birddogs. We lost all four games against them as the reigning Ultimini champions, so half of our season‘s losses came against expansion teams while we managed to beat every other team in the DSFL at least once. I mean, yeah, they‘re new and you‘re supposed to be nice to the new kids but not that nice. I don‘t even know how it happened, it wasn‘t like we underestimated them. We prepared for the matches just as every other week, no one on the team thought it would be an automatic win. After the first two games we blamed it on the away game curse and how it was impossible to escape another team‘s stadium with the W in your hands but after we played our home games against them and lost them, too, that just sounded like a weak excuse. And it‘s not like it was close half the time! The Birddogs defeated us by 21 points and the Royals scored 17 more in our own stadium. That had to be our worst losses of the season, almost embarrassing. I‘m not sure if I‘ll play in the DSFL next year, it seems likely at this point, but if I do, there‘s nothing I want more than to beat these newcomers and show them what the Grey Ducks are really made of.

[tMuse]

3) X-Factor
I think one of the biggest impact in the playoffs on my team, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, will be Brandon Booker. He is one beast of a Corner Back and he brings so much valuable stuff to our team. He is one of the friendliest dudes in the locker room but on the field he is a beast. You wanna throw a pass? Well now Brandon Booker has that ball and he will make a run for it. He is one of our best defense player we have and I am glad to share a team with him. At the moment he sits at 61 Tackles, two Interceptions and 11 Pass Defenses. Rotticus Scott is also one hell of a Corner Back with somewhat better stats than Brandon Booker but Brandon Booker is unstoppable at the moment. He shined in almost every game recently and I think he can continue this performance in the playoffs and help us not only reach the Ultimini but also win it. In the end we as a Team need to work together and give it our best but I am pretty optimistic that we can do it. Brandon Booker is one of our key players and will make a huge impact on our performance on the field.

Code:

213 words

12) Pay It Forward
I think the person who helped me the most in this league is Nick Kaepercolin (Highhaschdi). He was the one who brought me into the league and took me under his wing in the days before I've been picked up by Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. Thats not to say the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers didn't help me! Everyone on the team is super friendly and helpful. But Nick is my go to person if I have a question or something is unclear to me. We also wrote some nice articles together which gives us both a deeper insight into the league in general. Especially the mock draft we did was super insightful and helpful. As we collected data for every team and checked every contract we learned about the teams and the positions they need. Of course we don't know many players in the league yet but thats another topic. Nick has many great ideas for writing media or some statistical analyses and we do many of those together. I am super grateful to be in this league as it is just super fun and a pleasure to interact with other players. Nick and I also managed to get 3 more IRL friends in the league. It's super fun to compare each other and talk some smack while watching the games.

Code:

219 words

17) Sponsorships
Okay so this one is somewhat embarrassing for me. It was for a hemorrhoid cream. They called me up and the call went like this:
Sit and Relax Caller (from now on called Caller): "Hey is this James Angler? I am Mike Swanson, calling from the Sit and Relax Company."
James Angler (from now on called James): "Yeah it is me James Angler. What are you calling about?"
Caller: "I wanted to see if you're up for shooting an AD. We want to run an AD for our newest product during the Ultimini and we're looking for a player from the current NSFL draft class to shoot with us."
James: "Uhm sure, but you need to talk to my manager about that. Here is his number <REDACTED>."
Caller: "Alright got it, thank you for your time! I will contact your Manager and I hope to be speaking to you soon again."
James: "Sure thing Mr. Swanson, goodbye."

From this point on forward Mike Swanson talked to my manager and the end product can be seen at the Ultimus. It was basically an ad where I was unable to sit because of hemorrhoids and after applying the cream I could sit again and my performance on the field went up. Not sure if this cream is any good tho tbh. Just filmed a spot for some extra cash. Gotta stay working for that equip! It's not cheap!

Code:

219 words

14) Get Interviewed by a Fan
Click here to read my interview

Code:

252 words

[Raheem James]

1: Playoffs Predictions
The Playoff Match I am focusing on is the matchup between Portland and Kansa City. They are both title contenders in their divisions. Kansas City is currently on 2 games losing streak while Portland is currently on 2 games winning streak. This may affect the game because Portland is coming into the game with high spirits while Kansas is trying to forget the last two games this could give Portland the advantage. Talking about advantages lets talk about the advantage Kansas has well its simple HFA. This is possibly one of the most important things that the sim takes seriously. I am not saying Portland can’t win away but their away record isn’t the greatest when compared to Kansas City Home record tieing with first place. This game could get ugly for Portland really quick but it could also get ugly for Kansas as lately, the sim seems to favor the away team. If the game is a normal game it could be a nail-biting end to either team playoffs hope. The key matchups in this game are the QB’s can they both play up to potential or will one succumb to the other. The defense of Portland also has to be the main factor to stop Kansas Great Offense the same to Kansas because Portland offense has woken up from its slumber. The game may be close or be a blowout no one knows.

11 Rivalry
The biggest rival to me is every cornerback that isn’t on my team. My main goal every game is to make cornerbacks wish that I was on their team so they wouldn’t have to guard me. I love to break my opponent’s spirits and make them think I am unguardable. That my mentality makes them lose the mental part of the game and I win the physical part of the game. My second rival
Are records I am always trying to break records that what motivates me every day to be the best I can be and when I become the best I can be. I strive for more than just being good I strive for greatness and that’s what rivals do to me they make work harder than the other gut right next to me. I love the competitiveness of the game it gives me peace of mind that I can say what I want to other players and they just have to take it like a boy or a man. This is where you show how tough you are can you handle rival or do you think everyone is all the best buddies on the field because if you do you a little boy and everyone else is a man.

12: Pay it forward :
Someone in this league that I really respect is Saba. He is a fun guy and has a great sense of humor in the lockerroom. He is always giving advice to the younger guys of the server he has a great work ethic and always is on time to updating. He is a great inspiration to me because he shows me an ideal teammate’s behavior. He is liked by mostly everyone and never seems to be involved in any drama it seems like and just focuses on the game. He is also a mentor to Wr’s because he has a great Wr with amazing stats and you want to be like him and even beat him. I can’t wait for him to get the respect he deserves in the NSFL. I also can’t wait to be a better player and go against him and maybe even beat him just for bragging rights against him. Back to Saba, He is fun and loves his games and just completely shows that being on the best Wrs in the game currently doesn’t mean you have to be a douche bag you can be humble and help people out just like Saba he is a great person to have in a locker room and I am happy to be in his lockerroom.



19: Team Culture: Everything about my team locker room makes me happy to be there. The people, the fun and of course the arguments. Even though the arguments we are still a team and support each other like we knew each other in real life. This is a real locker room filled with memories of losses and wins and the support is like I said absolutely impeccable. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be in this same position as great as this. The head coaches are fun and serious and are always looking to help put a player and are sharing with the team. The alumni are also great they are usually at the top of earning and give you tips about being on top of earning. They also teach you about things testing so you could help your player and help your team. Last but not the least the teammates this is the core experience of being a locker room and this locker room has probably the best I have ever had on an online sim league so that’s cool. Any way the dudes are cool and chill and are helpful again to new players on eaning this is probably one of the best locker rooms I have ever been in.

[FurFurFurson]

8) Revenge

The London Royals beat us twice this year. Acura Skyline romped over our defense and made us look like a high school team. The Royals come right into the league as an expansion team and hide across an ocean where no one can get to them. They might think that their black and gold lion might make them look royal, but it just makes them look like a bank. And everyone hates banks. Given the fact that 40% of their wins came against one team (us), they obviously suck as they couldn’t beat anyone else. They lost twice to Portland (lol) who couldn’t buy an offensive touchdown this season. It is apparent that the Royals took advantage of the matchup in the sim to beat us. Rest assured, this won’t happen again. Their precious running back might come back, but he won’t be able to get through our defense again without getting knocked on his ass the next time those bourgeois big cats can be bothered to make the trek across the pond. Advice to Royals: bring your muskets and your overcoats, polish up your swords and put on your stupid black fuzzy hats. Make sure your mum has the tea in the kettle ‘cause next time you return from a trip to Minnesota you won’t feel like getting up off the couch to grab your own biscuits.


6) Next Year

Dewalt27 and CLG Rampage have been great GM’s for the Grey Ducks this season. They are very active in the locker room and are kind and helpful to each and every player on the team. However, this season did not pan out as we had hoped in Minnesota. Lots of this was due to bad luck in the draft. Many Ducklings went inactive shortly after the draft, including almost every cornerback that we drafted. While other teams were hitting future 200 TPE players in the late rounds, the Grey Ducks could not catch a break. But this will not be the new normal. The Minnesota GM’s hit on their early picks - the ones they scouted heavily and really wanted to get. Therefore it is logical that in a smaller S23 class, Dewalt and Rampage should be able to repeat that success throughout the whole draft. With Vega leaving, it seems the Grey Ducks will have a big hole at QB, with the new de facto starter being Sim SnowBow with only 102 TPE. But Snowbow started out very slow and has been gaining well and consistently over the end of the season. Assuming his continued growth, Snowbow will function essentially as a high-round S23 pick. Expect him to have a good season for the Grey Ducks next year.


17) Sponsorships

Open on a panorama of a rural mountain valley. The golden fields glow in the sunlight, highlighting the backdrop of blue mountains. As the camera pans down, a small town is visible in the distance. The camera rests on a view of men working a field. Cut to a close up of Buck Thornton with sweat on his brow.

“Hi, I’m Buck Thornton of the Minnesota Grey Ducks, and these are my brothers. This is how we spend our summers in Ellensburg, Washington. Hard work and sweat paved my road to the NSFL. But now I train a little differently.”

Cut to Thornton in a crowded, noisy gym. Buck and the others are shown doing various exercises; peg board, powerlifting, stationary bike, rowing, handstand walks, box jumps, etc. An aging man steps into the frame.

“I’m Dave Castro, chairman of the CrossFit Games. In 2007 we had our inaugural games at my ranch in California. Now, with the help of ambassadors like Buck Thornton, we have grown into an international competition.”

Buck returns to the frame with a towel around his neck. “CrossFit is a great way to stay in shape in the offseason. The go-at-your-own pace is perfect for all ages and fitness levels. Of course, for the hardest workers, the CrossFit Games are the place to showcase your drive and athleticism.”

“Come check out these incredible athletes at the 30th CrossFit games this summer at Dignity Health Sports Park in Los Angeles! Or tune in to ESPN 8 “The Ocho” from July 14-28 for full coverage!”


12) Pay It Forward

Lawrence Bass (@RussDrivesTheBus) has been one of my closest friends and motivators since entering the league from reddit. On the field, LB has balled out and become one of the leaders on the Grey Ducks’ defense. Bass is tied for second in the DSFL with 147 tackles, behind only S21 linebacker Gregor MacGregor of the Portland Pythons. Combine this with 6 tackles-for-loss and 6 sacks, it’s a mystery to me why the Grey Ducks’ captain is not getting more traction for DPOY.

Off the field, Lawrence is a steady presence in the locker room, filling it with positivity and encouragement. He and Mo “Mamba” Magic effectively act as captains of the team, encouraging us to get our point tasks in and maintaining the activity in the locker room. With Bass at the helm, the Grey Ducks have come together as a team. We celebrate each others’ victories and help each other through hardship. We have become our own little family.

I hope that the stars will align and we will continue on as teammates in the NSFL, but I know this is only a small possibility. However, I know that either way we will remain close, and whoever gets Lawrence Bass will have added a fantastic, positive, encouraging piece to their team, who will facilitate growth on and off the field.

[Number 82]

5) Hoisting The Trophy
I guess in this case, holding the trophy at the awards ceremony


8) Revenge (259 words)
The team I want to get revenge on would be the Norfolk SeaWolves. There are a couple of reasons that they top the list. Reason one, the opening week loss. Portland and Norfolk had the honour of being the first game of the DSFL Season 21. To say it did not go well would be an understatement. Visiting Norfolk, hoping to put together a good performance to kick start our season, we were promptly dismantled by the SeaWolves. We lost the game 31-9. It was a disaster. Their running backs ran all over us and combined for over 200 yards and their quarterbacks looked in complete control. Our offense couldn't really get anything going against their defense so they had us held in check on offense and defense.

Reason two would be the week 8 matchup against the SeaWolves. With home field advantage and coming into the game on the back of 2 wins on the trot, we had some momentum going into the game. Norfolk would win the game 17-9. Another loss against Norfolk, which would put us 0-2 for the season matchup. Why revenge, well you may have guessed it, they had our number this season and couldn't come away with a win in our season matchups. You don't get to hit reset or get a do over. When the game ends it's over. The results are what they are and no matter how much you want to change it, you have to live with it and that's why I'd like to get some revenge on Norfolk.

11) Rivalry (253 words)
The team that I consider to be the Python's rival would be the Kansas City Coyotes. Why the Coyotes? Well the Kansas City Coyotes were the team that ended the Pythons season, dashing hopes of a run at the Ultimini. Now, both teams when matched up can’t win and someone needs to lose, unfortunately it was us in two of the three games we played this season. Losing isn’t a particularly pleasant experience. Losing by 24 in the playoff game was just an embarrassing moment for us. We made mistakes and gave away over 100 penalty yards to the Coyotes and they made us pay.

We play in the same conference. If we want to compete for the Ultimini, we will need to be able to take care of business against the Coyotes as both teams will be vying for a playoff spot. Should we both clinch playoff berths, we will face off against one another. Whether it's the playoffs or the regular season, winning getting wins against the Coyotes is something that we need to do and that is why I consider them to be our rivals. Our paths will cross and we are effectively standing in each others way. They're a good team with a good group of players. While I hold no animosity towards them, I do see them as a conference rival and as a team that I wouldn't mind seeing losing as that will help with any bid to secure home field advantage in a given playoff run.

18) Awards Season - DSFL Wide Receiver of the Year (321 words)
Who should be the DSFL's Wide Receiver of the Year? Well look no further than Raheem Okusi who had a standout season for the Portland Pythons. This may be a bit of a surprise give the inconsistency of the Python's offense this past season, but if there's one think to takeaway from it, it's that Raheem Okusi should be the recipient of the DSFL WRotY award fro Season 21. Okusi was the focal point of the Pythons passing attack, you knew he'd be the primary target and draw the attention of opposing defensive backs, and despite that he ended the regular season with a total of 894 yards to his name. This was most in the league, impressive given that the DSFL is primary a run first league. Looking at the 894 yards becomes more impressive when you note that the second placed wideout Passman had 831 yards in 14 games. If we take the average of Passman's receiving yards and add it to their season total, giving Passman 15 games to Okusi's 14 games, Okusi would still have led the league.

If that wasn't impressive enough, let's look at the receiving touchdowns on the season. Okusi is tied for second with 6 with Birddogs Jeffery Phillips (TE) trailing the league leader Haugland who ended the season with 7 receiving touchdowns. Of all the those 3, Okusi had 300 more receiving yards than Phillips and more than double the receiving yards of Haugland. If we want to look a the most comparable player in terms of TD's and receiving yards then that would be Eric Jeeta. While Jeeta had quite the year, he'd finish with one less TD and with 125 less receiving yards. If we look at receiving yards, Okusi is at the top and if we look at receiving touchdowns in conjunction with receiving yards, he's still at the top. Okusi should be the Wide Receiver of the Year.