(S24) - PT 1 - Trivia Night

[Buttersqauch101]

So favorite moments in the league when it comes down to it. Probably my first moment I can remember is my first ever NSFL draft in S17. The i last time I was drafted and didn’t have any idea on where I was being taken. It was so fun celebrating where we were all going back when Season 17 was full of actives and not basically just the same 8 members. Getting drafted and then the moment I was traded was extremely hype in rookie chat. I miss having everyone active with our S17 Locker Room. If we’re talking other moments then probably the S22 draft with my Kansas City guys and Warner all in Voice Chat. The hype when they see their player pop up and it’s to San Jose or even other teams and just being able to celebrate with them and get their lr invites. Especially when we picked my current gm partner Matty McDairmid and everyone just got super hyped up in the whole KCC lr. Getting to be reunited with people I used to be teammates with like Jamar Lackson and Matty. My whole point here is Drafts always bring up some hype as fuck moments especially if you’re talking with a group of friends and people you know

[ZootTX]

Disappointing game, psh, former Dallas Birddogs’ (and current Wraiths) tight end had a terrible first season. Young Rechs was super excited to get drafted and play in the DSFL, but his first season was one to forget rather than remember. To begin, Rech’s on-field performance was lacking to say the least. Rechs only caught 16 passes for a super depressing 66 yards. He was easily out-performed by the other tight end on the Birddogs, Jeffrey Phillips. To be fair, Jeffrey was a stud and had a great year, but it was still not a good look for Zee. He did manage to catch a couple of touchdown passes, so there’s that.Even worse, Rechs not only didn’t help the team, he hurt the team. User Colabear helpfully wrote an article on the most penalized players in the DSFL that season, and guess who was on. every. list. Yup, Zee was just not one of Dallas’ shining stars that year. Zee was not a very good teammate, either. You would expect someone who was new would make an effort to get to know everyone in the locker room, but Zee was just kinda there. Fortunately, Zee managed to pull his head out of his ass and not only be a positive contributor to the Birddogs the next couple of seasons, but become a good teammate as well.

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[cho1325]

A surprising fact that not many people know is that James Cho is currently studying to become a doctor. While James was young his parents constantly pushed him to be a doctor and he just nonchalantly always agreed to it. Eventually in High school Cho saw firsthand what a sports therapist could do and from then on his academic journey began. His natural talent in football mixed with his high curiosity intellect in sports injuries catapulted Cho in both practices. After graduating high school Cho went off to the University of Washington to both study and play football. After playing all four years of college and winning pac12 player of the year and many more accolades Cho also graduated with a bachelors in science in sports medicine.  While playing in the ISFL Cho continued to further his education by applying to a doctorates program for sports medicine at the University of Washington. Despite Cho doing it quarter by quarter slowly due to his professional career in the ISFL he still inches slowly to eventually get his Doctorates and to be able to research the effects of concussions in both the NFL and ISFL and hopefully produce technology that can help reduce the impact tackling has on the head and helmet.  For now Cho continues to juggle his marriage, child, job, and education but still continues to do so happily. He has no regrets.

[teddyoojo]

Draft Night Musings from Teddy Utterstruzen
Draft Night - What an exciting time, you only get drafted once, am i right boys! Well of course except in the ISFL 1-2 seasons later heh.
Teddy Utterstruzen was extremely excited, as one of the best prospects to ever leave UNLV (and lets be honest, its not a school does produces much talent) he was sure he was going to get off the board rather early. But it never goes the way you expect it to go. After dropping he called up his good friend and former teammate Lebby Newton who was the only other prospect leaving UNLV in the recent years who was in the same draft class as him. He assured him hes gonna go soon, definitely before him. But as fate has it, pick #90 came in and announced Lebby going to the Grey Ducks. At this point hes wondering, if teams had just forgotten what a Safety is because since pick 53 there has not been a single one picked. But then pick #99 rolls around and the Buccs were finally picking him up. All Teddy could think was "#stilltop100" and alot of relief about finally finding a home where hell join 2 amazing Safeties. Hes excited to destroy his old teammate Newton in the upcoming season, and is hoping for a slightly more satisfying eventual ISFL draft

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[Crunk]

Frustrated to the point of anger, I minimised Fall Guys. The Royals locker room, yeah, that had to cheer me up. Taking a sip of my vodka, and noting that Deadly was no longer streaming while drunk as hell, I scanned the Discord sidebar for white, the sign of life. Counting bot, my old friend. I skimmed to the bottom. Latest post: 72.

"Well", I thought, "you don't have to teach maths to know this one!" I didn't really think that, it's just expositional storytelling because teaching maths is actually my job. My brain is way less jovial and obvious than that.

My fingers danced across the keyboard.... seven... three... enter. As I hit the last button I was overcome by the fear. Had I definitely scrolled to the latest post? I had been sure prior to this keystroke, but now I wasn't. Had there been a "Jump to Present" on the bottom? I... I checked... right?

The next 100 or so milliseconds were the longest of my life. I could feel them ticking by. One millisecond... two millisecondS... OK, they probably went by faster than you're reading that, but that 100 milliseconds felt like at least 500 milliseconds. Maybe 550.

Then it flashed up.

@Crunk RUINED IT AT 106!! Next number is 1. Wrong number.

A small piece of me died. A larger piece of me wanted to. What could I do, having let my team down like this? Another sip of vodka for courage, my hand quivering, I prayed silently for forgiveness as I typed the only thing I could.

1

(263 Words)

TL;DR: Maths teacher can't do counting bot

[Cody]

The Prospect Bowl Week is a time for prospects to get their name out there and hopefully shine in the spotlight. The Prospect Bowl was a split of high and lows for me. I started off hot raking up a bunch of tackles, a few sacks and an interception in my first two games with the Amarillo Tumbleweeds. I was excited going into weeks three and four of the Prospect Bowl. However, I found myself sitting on the sideline for a majority of the games only taking a couple of snaps. It was frustrating to be on the sidelines not knowing why this fate had befallen me.

Did I not show enough hustle in practice?

Did I rub someone the wrong way?

It hurt because our team was struggling and I could do nothing but watch. When we got bounced in the first round of the playoffs I felt angry. Why was I still on the sidelines?! I decided to keep my composure and congratulate my teammates on a hard fought season and wished them well in the upcoming draft.

I sat and mediated on the events that took place during Prospect Bowl week. The only answer I had was to work harder on and off the field. I’m getting my body in peak physical shape and my mind is getting a workout by watching hours of film.

The next time I get an opportunity on the field I will not disappoint and that I’ve earned a spot as starter.

[Vainknight13]

Recent events in the locker room nearly tore the Ducks apart before we even had a chance to step onto the field as a team. Admittedly I was late to the party having just stumbled in after Brazilian jiu-jitsu training, but the scene was terrifying. The argument was tense with the room split nearly fifty fifty. The argument was of utmost importance one that split the most cohesive of locker rooms... strawberry milk. I immediately jumped to attack the miserable non strawberry milk drinkers. How dare they not recognize thast strawberry milk was the superior form of milk drinking. It quickly came out that even James Gath, the first round pick of the Ducks hated strawberry milk "they drafted this guy before me?!" A quote of pure rage it was, what an insult. Talks of trades and hold-outs were bandied about all willy nilly, all hope seemed lost until one brave soul stepped forward. " Yeah but at least it isn't skim milk" they said in words that echoed through the quiet locker room. The Ducks were united once again against a common enemy! Skim milk is the real trash of the universe, and the only truly unacceptable form of milk drinking!!!

All kidding aside, the Duck locker room has been pretty awesome and we all seem to have a lot of fun there!

[xenosthelegend]

After I was drafted by the London Royals in the DSFL draft, I found the epic rpg channel. I was given a boost of 100000 coins, thank you to who gave them to me, I'm sorry I forgot who. I quickly purchased basic gear and went off on my journey to clear area 1. It did not take long before I levelled up to level 2, at which point I forgot to heal and was back to level 1. After around an hour of grinding using the chop and fish commands I got a wood sword and fish armor. It was not long before I was ready to take on the area 1 dungeon, with some help from Slate. We challenged the area 1 dungeon, and I got carried, Slate did 80% of the work. After that it was on to area 2 where I had to heal after every hunt command due to each one getting me below half health. Eventually I was able to craft wolf armor, no longer would I have to heal after every hunt command, now it was every three hunt commands. Currently I am level 9 with 35 attack, and 37 defense, soon I will challenge the area 2 dungeon, and hopefully this time I won't need to be carried through it.

[Roezam]

Draft night is every kids dream. You grow up playing sports your entire childhood hoping one day you’ll be on the big screen. It doesn’t even matter the sport at a young age, you play them all at least once. I started in rugby. It was my first sport I dedicated a lot of time to. I played it all through high school and only tried football in my senior year because Coach asked me to. After playing 4 years of of collegiate football at Purdue I knew what big screen I wanted to play on. I knew the names of the people I could become; Nero Alexander, Kurt Hendrix, Fuego Wozy. I threw my life into the craft determined that I would get drafted. After hearing my name called from the Seawolves I was ecstatic. Not going to lie, going in the 7th round was a bit disappointing. I was expecting a round 3-5 draft position but hey, the farther back in the draft you go the more you can shock the world. Regardless of where I got drafted, sitting with the family in the living room around the TV and getting that call was the greatest moment of my life. Knowing that I finally made it and that I would be on the big screen was a surreal moment. Norfolk, I hope you're ready for this grind. The rest of the DSFL? You better protect your quarterback.

[Slothman07]

Some of you may be surprised to learn that in addition to being an unstoppable force on the football field and the Golden Gate Intramural Orchestra's premier basoonist, I played shortstop on the Lady-Gates Softball Team. You may be even more surprised to learn that my fondest memories are neither of balls nor gloves, nor are they of pop flies or two-for-one chili dogs from Scuzzy Dave's Gourmet Vespa which was always parked in the handicap spot. It wasn't even the time I stole the suit for Goldie Prawn, our mascot, and did a keg stand in the bed of a pickup while driving over the Golden Gate Bridge holding on with nothing but my pincers. 


The year: 1997.

The place: the women's locker room at Golden Gate University. 

The me: Dorothy Zbornak.

The elephant in the room: Buridan's Ass.


As my fellow Lady-Gates and I wearily changed from our civilian clothes to our uniforms and vice versa, we often engaged in discourse, usually philosophical in nature, and my favorite instance of this was the Paradox of Buridan's Ass. I'll see if I can explain it to you half as well as Trish Hunderbocker, the all-American hindcatcher from Solvang, CA, explained it to me:


"There was this French dude in the olden days named Buridan, and he had an ass (that's what they called donkeys back then), and let me tell you: this dude's ass was HUNGRY. Luckily, it was very close to not one but two piles of tasty ass hay. You would expect a logical, rational ass to have gotten along just fine at this point, but there's a problem. The ass was exactly in the middle of the two piles of tasty ass hay. Precisely equidistant. And because neither pile was closer, he could not logically choose one over the other, and that ass died. And Buridan probably got in trouble for over complicating the feeding process and killing his ass."


My mind was blown. Still is honestly. Because that airhead Trish didn't know this but a very similar situation to this paradox of free will exists in digital electronics as metastability, which is essentially when something that should be either on or off can't decide which it wants to be. 


Anyway, free will makes no sense, but neither does anything else. Who wants cheesecake?