(S21) - Ultimus Week

[Murtsi]

SHL PT3

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Written: Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims, give your predictions; if it is afterwards, give a review of the game.

I will give a short recap of the NSFC championship game between the Baltimore Hawk and the Yellowknife Wraiths. This was a home game for the Hawks and a rivalry that goes back many years, wth Yellowknife seemingly always coming out on top. Those were games in Yellowknife so how will the outcome change when its played in Baltimore? Well the first quarter is a defensive slugfest, with both teams trading punts after punts after punts. Both kickers look at their coaches and wonder why wont they have the trust in them to try a longer field goal. In addition both quarterbacks seemed to get sacked continuously. The deadlock is finally broken in the second quarter after a short drive the coach finally lets Dougie Smalls go for a 28 yard field goal to make it 3-0 Wraiths. After a 3 and out for the Hawks, the Wraiths took the ball down the field with amazing precision with Bigsby throwing to Gordon for a 21 yard touchdown. With the Wraiths up 10-0, the Hawks were looking to get back into the game but Leonard intercepted Havran and returned the ball for an 83 yard touchdown! The Wraiths were able to add one more touchdown before the end of the half to make it 24-0 going into halftime. Through the second half the Wraiths put on a bend but don't break philosophy and the Hawks were able to claw it back to 24-19, but ultimately they were unsuccessful.

12) Pay It Forward
Written: Write about someone in this league who you look up to or who you think of as a friend. Why do they deserve to be lauded?

This is going to be a pleasure to write as this is someone that gets some recognition in the league, but I feel like he should get so much more. I am of course talking about @Bigred1580 From the day he did his first scouting to now, it has been such a pleasure to get to know him. BigRed or BR as he is known, is someone who truly seems to put the needs of others in front of his in a near constant fashion. There have been many times when he has given up his own time to make sure another user is able to get the best help possible and feel welcome in the league. I remember when I first joined Yellowknife and BR was always asking me how I felt about things and what I would want and tried to incorporate those into what the team was doing. In addition to this he has put in countless hours into the league through his GM and HO work along with all the events graphics he has done. BR is truly one of the nicest people I have met in a long while and his dedication to this league and the members of the community is something that I feel should be recognized more often. BR is never stirring any kind of drama or is he ever complaining and that should be rewarded! Thank you for everything you do BR <3

19) Team Culture
Written: What is it about your team’s culture and/or locker room that makes you happy to be there? If there are any problems, what do you think should be done to improve them?

I feel so lucky that I have been able to join the Yellowknife Wraiths and be a part of the locker room and overall culture over here. I tell this to a lot of the people who I scout (either by me telling them or whenever they ask) that we have a very chilled and laid back atmosphere in Yellowknife. I think this may be partially due to the fact that we have a lot of older people in general in the locker room. This makes it so that people do not get over worked up about things happening in the league and the sim. I’m not saying that people do not show emotions, but people are better able to handle their emotions. With everything that has been happening around the league (and stuff that seemingly happens around all sim leagues), it has been great when I am able to come back to the locker room and we are not discussing those issues, but instead something completely different that helps get your mind off of whatever the drama was. So yeah I guess it is the level headedness of the whole locker room and everyone who is a part of it that makes it great, where people really focus on having this as a positive outlet and do not focus on the negative things

[Ephenssta]

1) Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims, give your predictions; if it is afterwards, give a review of the game.

The semi-final matchup between the New Orleans SecondLine and the Orange County Otters was probably the best game of the season. This matchup frankly should have been the Ultimus. The game began, as football games tend to do, with a kickoff. New Orleans took the ball first and punted, leading to an OCO drive that stalled four yards from the endzone. The Otters took a 3-0 lead. New Orleans answers with a touchdown. A couple punts later, they picked up another one, taking a 14-3 lead in the second quarter that would later be extended to 17-3 after an interesting 4th and goal from the 17 yard line. The Otters launched their comeback with a touchdown on their opening second half drive, reducing the lead to four. With 11:37 remaining in the game, they took the lead after a 3 yard rush from Armstrong. New Orleans answered with a touchdown of their own. With seven minutes in the game, the Otters needed to respond to keep their season alive. With 1:09 on the clock, Bigby punched it in. Tie game. New Orleans started the overtime period with the ball and quickly put up a field goal. Once again, OCO had to respond to save their season. On a crucial third and four from near midfield, Armstrong took a costly sack to bring up 4th and 10. One play to save the season. Kurisuto dropped it. The game ended on a drop. New Orleans finds themselves in the Ultimus, beating the Otters at home for the second

257 words



6) If your team didn’t win the title this year, why do you believe they can win the next year (or the year after that)?

There is one reason that Philly will be miraculously good next season. Simon Tremblay, the Myrtle Beach offensive lineman, will be joining the team in the big leagues to take on the rest of the NSFL. Simon has put up good stats as the center for the beach boys, allowing only one sack and picking up 53 pancakes through 14 games, Tremblay will make a great addition to the Liberty front five. His impressive influence extends beyond the gridiron, however. Simon provides quality entertainment in the locker room. He’s even gone far enough to get himself an emote in the Myrtle Beach locker room that is widely recognized as “incredible,” “amazing,” and “literally the best emote in the NSFL. Ever.” Adding both an incredibly talented offensive lineman and an entertaining locker room presence may be just what Philly needs to lift them out of this abysmal season and into the next futile campaign. Unless Simon can somehow play all 11 positions, in which case we might have a chance. But I’m sure the team will add some more pieces that will make us better. Tim did, after all, manage to steal a couple very nice draft picks from our favorite franchise in Chicago. Maybe a few more linemen will do the trick.

212 words


17) You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?

Rum. That should come as no surprise. I was surprised to open the somewhat official looking letter from my favorite local distillery, The RumBell. The envelope contained a rather plainly worded offer to appear in an ad airing during the ultimus. What an honor! I didn’t know that anyone outside the league knew of my affinity for rum, the most delicious liquid to be harnessed in a bottle. The bottom of the letter had a phone number to call if interested. I, of course, dialed immediately. Like literally immediately. I’ve never called a number so fast in my life. “So here’s the pitch,” the person on the other end rambled on, not knowing that I was probably more excited to be talking to them than they were to be talking to me. The ad is going to be that one picture from a practice in which I caught a bottle of rum. Except this time I’ll then down the bottle instead of just handing it off to a teammate to pour a round of shots. It was a fun antic from when I first joined the league, so re-enacting the event was a nice blast of nostalgia. Of course, I insisted that I be paid in rum instead of monetarily for being in the ad.

215 words


18) Make the case for one of your teammates to win an award at the NSFL or DSFL levels. What have they done to earn the nod?

Some may say that it was the blockbuster trade between Philadelphia and Chicago that touched off the situation. That event certainly seemed to be the last straw for Waldo. The Liberty sent away a near-regression and a borderline IA player in return for some premium draft picks in what is one of the most impressive draft classes in the history of the NSFL. Despite the abysmal record that I’d rather not be reminded of, TubbyTim should be GM of the Year. Who needs wins when you have such a nice trade to your name? After all, we all should realize that league success is more about trades than wins or post season success. But if epic trades aren’t enough to convince you, the fact that Tim wrote an entertaining article while “baked” should further impress the voters. Obviously his profile picture in Discord is Kevin from The Office to fool us into overlooking his incredible intellect. And it’s obviously working. Tim is the best GM in the entire league. Nay, the entire world. And he deserves all the recognition. When you look past the continued on-field struggles resulting in an abysmal record that I’d really rather drink until I forget, the choice is obvious. No one else should really even be seriously considered.

213 words

[Highhaschdi]

6) Next year
I really believe that my team, the London Royals, can win the Ultimini next year. Before this season, it was already clear to everyone that it's gonna be a difficult one as expansion team. The London Royals couldn't rely on experienced players, they needed to start their team from scratch. So it wasn't very surprising that we didn't make the playoffs this year. But overall we sure as hell did way better than many people expected. We were in playoff contention till the last 2 games of the season, we won a total of five games in this season, we even defeated the reigning champions, the Minnesota Grey Ducks, in both games. We had some problems with red zone offense and special teams and could have been a bit luckier. Furthermore the London Royals have many contenders to win personal awards like our RB Acura Skyline who leads the league in yards after the regular season or strong defensive players like LB Derred de Ville, Eldric Avery or Sandro Ryeu. We really had great rookies and if most of the pieces of the team can stay together, the Royals should definitely be a contender next year. With people going into their second seasons and having maxed players, the team will be a lot stronger and I really hope and think, that they can win the Ultimi next season. (228 words)

11) Rivalry
As a team I'd consider the Dallas Birddogs as our greatest rival. Even before we played our first games each, it was clear that as two expansion teams, there would be a rivalry between London and Dallas. Before the season started, we didn't know how to compare to the longer established teams in the DSFL, but we knew that Dallas also started from scratch and we can compare to them and try to be at least better than the Birddogs. With our first game, we outclassed them pretty hard with a 34 to 7 win in London and set the tone for our rivalry. Unfortunately, in Dallas we lost 10 to 27, so we both got one win from both games. We also ended the season both with a record of 5 wins and 9 losses in last in our respective divisions. This also shows that the teams are very comparable and in the future the rivalry will stand between the two newest teams in the league, although we are in different divisions. From the beginning our goal was to be better than Dallas and it'll be interesting to see which expansion team can first make the playoffs and first win the Ultimini. Personall I know, that it will be the London Royals! (213 words)

12) Pay It Forward
This task is an easy choice for me. I'm going to write about James Angler aka tMuse. We are friends in real life and he was the first user I referred to this site. And it was the best thing to happen. With a very active friend of mine, the league is even more fun and I'm glad to be a part of this. We talk absolutely every day about the NSFL and motivate each other to gain as much TPE as possible. We already wrote some articles and analyses together and try to learn more and more. Together we did a big NSFL mock draft and worked so many hours together to analyse all teams and their needs as well as the S22 draft class. We also started a series about weekly TPE gains for different positions and help each other to improve our analyses and get some new ideas. We also watch the NSFL and DSFL games live together nearly every single night and I really hope his team, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, will be succesfull in the playoffs and take home an Ultimini. Overall, I'm really glad that he's a friend of mine and we can enjoy this wonderful league together, hopefully for some more years! (209 words)

13) Interview a Star (James Angler aka tMuse)
1) It's your first season here in the DSFL. How do you feel making it to the Ultimini at the first try?

It's an incredible feeling to be honest. It's also pretty humbling to stand in the championship finals. We're playing at our home field so of course we want to make the best showing we can. It's a lot of pressure but that's what we're made for right?

2) What was the key to victory in your conference championship game against the Norfolk SeaWolves?

Our defense. Winning 18 - 0 does mean that we had a wall on the field. No one came through. Our defense is hot and ready to take the Coyotes in the Ultimini. We all trained hard but our defense showed how strong they can be. They're holding the gate and we won't open it.

3) Which team was the hardest to play in the regular season?

Our toughest loss which made our journey to the Ultimini way more tense was against the Tijuana Luchadores in Week 7. It was almost an equalizer to our whole division, every team had a shot!

4) How do you see your chances at winning the Ultimi against the Kansas City Coyotes?

I think we have a pretty good chance. Of course it will be a hard game but the Coyotes aren't unbeatable. We play at our home field with our fans behind our backs. It will be a great game and no matter who wins I am proud to be one of the Buccs! :buccaneer (252 words)

[Thor]

1. SHL PT

4) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human offensive lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome
As a player of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers I am fortunate to be playing alongside not one or two, but five human offensive linemen - which is lucky because I hate when bots get oil on my uniform. Of these linemen, three stand out as high achievers that have given our team a significant boost towards making the playoffs - and will now be essential to a victory in the Ultimini. The three linemen I am speaking of are Simon Tremblant, Bruce Buckley and Douglas Quail. Between the three of them they account for over 130 pancakes and only four sacks allowed. Though both Simon and Doug are experience linemen that have been to the big game before and will be a big part of leading the Myrtle Beach running backs to, I expect Bruce Buckley to be a standout for us in the game against Kansas City. This man is a behemoth and boasts a strength rating of 90, showing enough power to manhandle any defender that may try to make a tackle on Dax Frost or J.B Apollo, or look to break through the line to make a play on Chris Ramos (or potentially even Tom Sofa). While it is yet to be seen how these players will perform in the biggest game of their careers so far - it is certain to be a moment they all remember as significant contributors towards the teams success.

3) X-Factor
Written: Predict one player on a playoff team who you feel will make the biggest impact and push that team into the championship. Choose someone besides your own player for this task.
I belive a player who will be an x-factor for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers is James Angler. "A backup Tight End as the X-Factor player?" you may ask, and a resounding yes would be my answer, as Angler is not just a backup to the Buccaneers, but a full time offensive contributor. There is not a formation that the Buccs play out of where Angler isn't on the field, filling the vital role of Fullback in two formations, and Tight End in the two others. Being paired with a well known quantity in Heath Evans has helped Angler's blocking game improve dramatically beyond what is expected out of a normal Vertical Threat tight end, ending with a total of 15 pancakes over 12 games and not allowing a single player to get past him and to the QB. As a part of the TE Gang of course his true strength lays in his ability to stretch the field from all positions and open up the underneath routes for our wide receivers. As a "backup" player I fully expect Angler to see his fair share of success in this final and most significant game, helping provide that x-factor towards an Ultimini victory for Myrtle Beach.

19) Team Culture
Written: What is it about your team’s culture and/or locker room that makes you happy to be there? If there are any problems, what do you think should be done to improve them?
The much touted Myrtle Beach Buccaneers Locker room, the envy of many teams and the target of many memes. Being a part of arguably the most active locker room in the DSFL has been a wonderful introduction to the sport of sim football, and the greater DSFL/NSFL. While some have dismissed it as a "gamer boi meme zone" I have found so far that many of the most helpful players I've been fortunate enough to experience either reside in this locker room, or spend significant amounts of time there. The locker room is so fantastic that we often find members of other teams sneaking in to enjoy the experience for themselves and distract themselves from a lifeless locker room of their own. I'm very fortunate and blessed that my team mates have nominated me as a captain of the Buccaneers for Season 21 and this will allow me to enjoy the privilege of access to the private areas of the locker room for another season as I settle into the locker room of my new NSFL team, wherever that may be. I believe that the only flaw in this locker room, and it's a glaring one - is that Frost can't make a deadline to save his life.

[gbfn]

1 Playoff Prediction

In the Ultimini this season the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers will face the Kansas City Coyotes. The match up could not be any closer. Both teams finished their seasons 9-5 atop of their conference. The point differential speaks for the Coyotes with 308 points scored and 230 points allowed – the Buccaneers stand at 301 points scored and 275 points allowed. On the other hand all 3 games this season including one preseason game clearly went to the Bucs defeating KC 30-10, 24-9 and 26-14. It seems as the Bucs are a weak spot in he otherwise impressive performance of the Coyotes.
In the championship round both teams celebrated impressive wins over their opponents. Myrtle Beach faced the Norfolk Seawolves who they lost against in week 37-10. After this blowout the performance couldn’t be rated any higher after winning in the championship round 18-0.
Kansas won their playoff game against the Portland Pythons with a great performance of 31-7.
Predicting a winner is quite tough here but considering that all three games earlier this season went to the Bucs, who also have home field advantage in this matchup I predict the winner to be the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. It will be a close game characterized by the defenses of the teams and the ability to run the ball effectively to manage the clock. I give the Bucs the edge over KC with a 24-20 win at home.

Code:

223 words

6 Next Year

Given the fact that the Bucs are now competing in the ultimini in back to back seasons there is no real reason for thinking that this will also be the case next season, right?
Hell no! As impressive as this is, we should absolutely put all our effort into improving what went wrong this season. Although standing in the finale the record was not nearly as good as the year before. The gap between the teams in the south was getting really close. So to stop that trend we have to keep working and staying focused on the task of getting ready for the next season right at the moment when the play clock of the ultimini runs out.
The teams who didn’t have the chance to play for this trophy are not relaxing either. The will push and try to overtake the teams at the top, seeing they are not far away from them this season.
Either way, we have the chance to draft fantastic players this offseason. Whoever gets their hands on the most involved players will have the best chances to secure another title or the first on ever. We have to prove to the other teams next season, that overtaking us will be a long shot and have to be working harder than anyone else to keep ourselves at the top of the league and maybe reaching the ultimini again next season.

Code:

236 words

9 Dynasty
The Buccaneers have all the right ingredients to sustain their success. Their first season (season 18 was quite difficult with only two wins, but that was to be expected. In their just second season Myrtle Beach managed to get to the post season and it wasn’t even close. They had the second best record in the whole DSFL only trailing one game to the Luchadores who went 11-3. In the championship round they lost to the Luchadores.
In the following season, their third, the Bucs managed to get to the ultimini going 12-2 in the regular season and winning their first championship against the Seawolves. In the ultimini finally the lost to the Grey Ducks, the defending DSFL champion. This season the upward trend should be continued. They secured the number 1 seed and shut out the Seawolves in the championship game and reached the ultimini in back to back seasons.
If this performance can be conserved and the GM keeps up this fantastic work, where I can’t see any reason why this will not be the case, the Bucs have a bright future ahead. As young as the team is they reached the finale in 2 seasons out of four and went to the post season in all of them, except their first season. This team is predestined to build a dynasty.

Code:

223 words

12 Pay it Forward
I want to give a huge shout out to Michael Whitheblock, WR of the Kansas City Coyotes. He really prepared me for the entrance in this league and reached his helping hand out to me whenever I had questions. He is now the number 2 receiver of a very effective passing attack. His team is playing in the ultimini this year. I wish him all the best for the finale, although not too much as my team is playing against them. Maybe one time I will have the chance to play with him on the same team but at this stage of the competition I know he will leave it all on the field and so I am going to. We will see who wins the trophy, whoever will it definitely is well deserved.
I am really astounded of how much effort he puts into getting better and better. Despite his desire to achieve greatness he also doesn’t forget to help out wherever he can. Only the great ones not only try to learn from others, they also have the desire to make others better.
He always provides reminders of what to do and when or which stat to increase. Big thanks to you and prepare for the ultimini – you will need it!

Code:

213 words

[AW13]

Code:

4) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human offensive lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome.

Let's talk about the Thighmaster, Alfredo Crisco of the Austin Copperheads, a big reason why the team has turned a corner in the league and won an Ultimus last season! This season, while Austin will not go on to win another Ultimus, that was not for the fault of Crisco who had another really good season making 32 of 25 field goals on the year while also finishing 2nd in the NSFL in average punt yardage and among the leaders in percentage of punts inside the 20. I do a ""Next Level Punting" series over in the EFL that maybe I could bring over to the NSFL which details advanced punting stats to get a better idea into the punter of the year award and which guys separate themselves based on punting ability. With so many punts in this league it would be harder but it is easy to tell Crisco is a great punter and kicker. Ryan is also a friend in sim leagues as I was teammates with him in the PBE and happy to see him being successful in here as well! Yay for kickers and special teams! I think a user kicker and punter can be a huge advantage in the league especially an active one, because San Jose has Kicky Bobby and he needs to leave, now.

Code:

6) Next Year
Written: If your team didn’t win the title this year, why do you believe they can win the next year (or the year after that)?

So, as a player on San Jose, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right? Maybe. I am here to tell you that maybe, just maybe things are in place for a possible surprise San Jose run to the playoffs, but it would need to be managed really well. San Jose is going to lose a big chunk of their defense to both retirement and expansion I believe but, the offense is going to remain untouched and that is a very good thing. San Jose, with Wright, Cardrissian, Jackson, Thomas-Fox, and McDavid are a team poised to put up a lot of points, unfortunately, they just have not done that yet but maybe they have just been timid so far. I believe in will be in the best interest of San Jose coaches to run a heavy passing attack and really utilize their pass catching options this season. Their run game is not fully established yet and with Wright's time in the league coming to an end, it is time to unleash him. I believe San Jose could outscore anybody and with expansion sure to bring some of the better teams down a notch, at least for next season, why not San Jose? It is possible. Just give me the ball!

Code:

12) Pay It Forward
Written: Write about someone in this league who you look up to or who you think of as a friend. Why do they deserve to be lauded?

I want to talk about my buddy @ckroyal92 because I have known him for awhile now in both the NSFL as well as over in the PBE, even the SBA at one point but that was a limited thing. Anyways, I had the opportunity back seasons ago to get the co-GM position with CK with the Sabercats and instantly (Once Christ became good) we were a pair for the ages. We led San Jose to some of the most historic moments of the franchise, one of which I will mention in the next prompt but it was an absolute blast working with him and helping this team to great lengths. Now, I think CK is one of the most real, genuine people I have met and he really has a passion for things and his teams in here, hell, his Facebook cover photo has the Outer Banks and San Jose logos! He has been around since the beginning of time and has done a lot for sim leagues and his teams. I play for his team in both here and the PBE and am very happy to do so, and he still, I hope, respects me after all the crap some losers tried to pull on me in the PBE which forced me to step down from my favorite sim league job. I respect CK a ton and was very happy to be part of one of his teams that won a championship! Hopefully I will be part of more.

Code:

20) Nostalgia
Written: What is your happiest memory in this league?

As mentioned above, San Jose had some historic moments overall and it was when I was co-GM alongside CK. We broke the Sabercat curse and finally won a playoff game, but more importantly, we won an Ultimus with the San Jose Sabercats! There was a ton of people that should be credited here for their hard work and efforts into that championship year and it was truly a team win! I remember I was driving that day to Salt Lake City from Logan which is about an 80-mile drive and I actually pulled over in a gas station parking lot to watch the game and celebrate when we pulled it off. After the win, most of the people in the San Jose locker room went into the voice chat to express the pleasure and gratification we had when breaking the curse and winning an Ultimus. It was a fun time and it was nice because I could participate while I was driving as well! We had probably 8-10 people in there if not more and a lot of "YES" and "WOO" was present. San Jose has one title to their name so far in their history and I am super happy to have been part of the team that won it all in Season 14!

[Booger]

3. I think the X-factor of these playoffs for my team, the Kansas City Coyotes is going to be Matty McDairmid. Matty is the highest TPE kicker/punter in the DSFL, and despite not being assigned field goal duties, he’s been beasting in the punt game. In the regular season, Matty punted the ball 78 times, accumulating a total of 3338 yards. Matty also landed his punts inside the 20 8 times, and his longest punt was 64 yards. Matty’s ability to flip the field after a poor drive from the offense in order to give the defense a great chance to make a stop is almost unmatched, and he showed this ability during our first playoff game against the Portland Pythons. Matty ended up kicking a 72 yard punt, which resulted in a touchback. Having a guy like Matty greatly relieves pressure on the offense to succeed, and despite the Coyotes having the number 1 ranked offense in the league, it's understandable that they may falter on occasion. A punter may not be the obvious choice for a player who I believe will make a large impact on our playoff games, but given how good Matty is at punting the football, I think he is worthy of the title.

11. The team I would consider to be the Kansas City Coyotes’ biggest rival are the Portland Pythons. During the season, we met with the Pythons twice in the regular season, losing the first matchup 10-6 but winning the second 20-14. The Pythons and Coyotes are rivals given their past competition for the NFC crown. The title has always been in jeopardy with these two teams around, and it was even more so this season. These two teams this year were carried by their defense, in Portland’s case, and in part by their offense, in Kansas City’s case. In the most recent DSFL draft Portland made a risky move by selecting 3 defensive backs to their team with their first three picks. One of those picks was Zamir Kehla. Despite being only a rookie in the DSFL, Zamir seems to have his mind made up that he is going to be the trash talking, high performing, cornerback he originally intended to be. All over the forums, twitter, and discord you can find Zamir predicting ridiculous stat lines for his next game, or slandering previous opponents. This behavior, though maybe amusing to the Pythons, is downright annoying to almost everyone else, and it just gave us Coyotes more confidence to knock the Pythons out of the playoffs last night.

17.

18. One of my teammates who I think deserves to be awarded both the MVP and QBoTY awards is Chika Fujiwara, the second year quarterback headed to Baltimore next season. Chika has been absolutely dominant all season long. With a 58.93% completion percentage on 319 attempts, Chika has accumulated a total of 2043 yards through the air, second most in the DSFL this season. Furthermore, Chika has the second least attempts among the top 5 quarterbacks in yardage, indicating her ability to fire the ball downfield with tremendous success. This is also shown by her long of 42 yards, which is the third longest in the league, behind only passes of 43 and 45 yards. Chika also had an astounding 2:1 TD to interception ratio, which is the highest of any player who has played in all 14 games this season. This ratio comes from her 10 touchdown passes, second most in the league, and her only 5 interceptions. Lastly, Chika has also been a great teammate and has facilitated much of the Coyotes’ success this season. As the GM of our team, Chika has been active in encouraging improvement by offering player of the game renders and has been facilitating our improvement by reminding us of new tasks to complete. Also, Chika has just been a great teammate to have around, as she has been active in communicating with us and engaging with many of her teammates.

[retrospace111]

8. Revenge

Those stinky, filthy Coyotes. They think they're so good, with their 9-5 record, but little do they know they suck. I've never liked the Coyotes, they never liked me, and that's ok. I'm doing just fine without them. The 2 teams I dislike the most in the DSFL made the Ultimini, how weird. The Coyotes destroyed us last night in the conference championship. I'm mad. They made our #1 defense look silly. I'm disappointed because we had a legitimate chance to win the game. Penalties screwed our team over. They didn't even win fair and square. They paid off the refs. Nothing you can do about that. We had a huge catch and run for almost 50 yards before our receiver fumbled the ball and it was picked up by those damn Coyotes. I would love to destroy this team next season, if I get sent down. Regardless, I'll still be cheering for the Pythons and hoping for them to destroy the Coyotes twice next season. What would be really funny? KCC doesn't even make the playoffs next year, and the Pythons beat them in the last week to knock them out of playoff contention. That would be awesome. I'll make sure to pay off the refs too.


11. Rivalry

I think every player on a team not named Myrtle Beach Buccaneers hates the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. Their players are even more talkative than me. Just because they have garbage players, so most of them are sent down. That's literally the only reason they do so well. None of their players are skilled enough to play in the NSFL their first year, so it's why they all have to get sent down. It's really unfair that the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers' GMs purposely draft garbage players to get them sent down so they can be good the next year. Every other team isn't that cheap, so they won't resort to these childish tactics. At least we have some shred of decency. Even if MBB won't publicly acknowledge the Pythons as their rivals, I'm sure they don't like us very much. Tell me one player who likes Myrtle Beach, but isn't on their team, and doesn't have a gun pointed to their head. I'm waiting. Exactly. It felt more satisfying beating MBB in the regular season than it would have to won an Ultimini. Even though KCC beat us, I hope KCC goes and beats the shit out of MBB in the Ultimus. The Bucs got embarrassed last year by the Grey Ducks. Hopefully it can happen again. The identity of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers is to just make the Ultimini and then choke. It's going to happen again tomorrow night, mark my words.


18. Awards Season

Raheem Okusi, a Wide Receiver on my team, the Portland Pythons, is a complete beast. He definitely deserves to win wide receiver of the year. He was a key reason we were able to average 150 passing yards per game. He had 894 receiving yards, which leads the league. The 2nd highest person is 63 yards below Okusi. In a run-first league, it's impressive to see a WR put up these kinds of numbers. The receiving yards aren't even the most impressive things about Okusi. Out of WRs with over 100 receiving yards, Okusi has the 2nd highest yards per reception, with a 13.5 average. That's ridiculous, considering how many yards he produced. But wait, that's not even the most impressive thing about his stats this season. He also had 6 TD catches. Boom. Mic drop moment. 6 TDs is good for 2nd place out of all the WRs. Only one person had more TDs, and he only had 7 TDs. Okusi is 1st in receiving yards, T-2nd in touchdown receptions, 2nd in yards per reception for all WRs with over 100 receiving yards. No other player is this consistent in all 3 categories. It would be ridiculous if Raheem Okusi does not win wide receiver of the year. Maybe he should retire to increase his chances of winning.


19. Team Culture

As a member of the Portland Pythons, I think I have the right to say a thing or two about the culture in the locker room. The Pythons' locker room isn't as active as the cesspool that is Myrtle Beach, but it's not bad. There is a unity, a bond that is present within the locker room that you can feel. When it's game time, it's game time and everyone has the same thing on their minds, winning. Everyone wants to win, and it's an amazing sense of community. Everyone is super chill and nice in the locker room. Despite how much of an arrogant asshole I may seem in the public discord and in my media posts, I'm a team player, and I'm a pretty chill and nice guy in my team's locker room. I feel like a lot of my teammates are the same way. We stick up for each other and back each other up. It's fun to be a part of a team. My GMs aren't as active as some other GMs, cough cough frost cough cough, but it's ok. They still put in the time and they care about all of us. AC and Kanako made huge jumps with the team this year, and I'm proud of them. I think they should snag those GMs of the year award easily, due to their turnaround of the team. 2-12 to 8-6? That's an impressive feat.

[3lewsers]

3) X-Factor

My X-Factor for the Ultimus Game is New Orlean's excellent Defensive End, Ben Tu'inukuafe. I am predicting two tackles for losses and 1 sack. He has been a solid contributor all season, but in this game, he will make the difference. The veteran will surprise everyone with a game for the ages. He will be up for consideration as the Ultimus MVP. He and his line mates will apply a ton of pressure to the opposing QB securing them the ultimate prize. When a quarterback lacks the time to throw, the whole offense can go into a funk. The QB starts thinking about getting rid of the ball too soon because they are worried about getting hit. Ben Tu'inukuafe is doing to disrupt the offense and lead his team to victory. His neverending motor is what will be the difference. He is a big play just waiting to happen. He is relentless and drives the offensive line crazy. If they let up on a play, he is there to pounce on their weakness. Ben likes the opponent to think he takes a play or two off and then BOOM! they don't know what hit them. Come tomorrow night, he will be hoisting the Ultimus Trophy.

You heard it here first:

Ben Tu'inukuafe, Ultimus MVP

8) Revenge

Our number one rival, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers won both the SFC South finishing a game ahead of us, as well as knocked us out of the playoffs. We just weren't ready to play. Call it playoff jitters if you will, but the game was over by halftime. By the time we were able to catch our breath, the game was over. When you don't score one point in a playoff game, that isn't unlucky, that is not being ready for the moment. Many have said that the Norfolk Seawolves overachieved this year, but that is not an acceptable reasoning. The chance to play in the Ultimini Championship was right there, and to say I am not disappointed would be a big lie. With a great core of players returning, and some new ones on the horizon, I expect to beat Myrtle Beach in this same playoff game next season. They will be back, and looking to pounce on us again, and I understand that. When you aren't ready, sometimes nothing goes right. That is what happened last night. The playoffs were too big a moment for us, and Myrtle Beach took advantage of that. The Seawolves are my team, and we are preparing this offseason to win it all. This isn't the Same Old Seawolves anymore. We are all in this, and Myrtle Beach should take note.

17) Sponsorships

Despite losing in the DSFL playoffs, I have been contacted to be a spokesperson for a great company during Ultimus Week.
This is my first sponsorship, and even though I wondered why they chose me, it is clear theat they want the exposure that Ultimus Week brings them. With so many players and their families descending upon the city, it is a great opportunity to get your name out there. So, I am very proud to announce that I am endorsing I52 Ignite, a great weight loss product containing Cha De Bugre, which is a stimulant harvested from the rain forests of Brazil. I will be featured in a print ad in Us Weekly, and I will be wearing I52 Ignite shirts at the Ultimus. Anyone that wants to stop by my media tent is welcome to take a free sample and a free tee shirt. After trying it, you will love the effects of Cha De Bugre in your system. It has been used for centuries by the people of Brazil and I am excited to share it in the United States of America. I52 is a tried and true method that has been used as an appetite suppressant. It also reduces cellulite and supports the heart. The Cha De Bugre tree is also known as the coffee of the woods. Please stop by and give it a try.

I52 is what we do.

20) Nostalgia

My favorite memories are being drafted. It is very humbling to be chosen when no one knows much about you. You are just a name and a bunch of numbers on a paper. It is exciting to hear you name called, and to be given a chance. The drafts are fun and at the same time stressful. You sit and wait for a team to call your name and then you know that you can't let them down. They have chosen you as an investment. They are betting on you, and you can either help them win that bet or cause them to lose terribly. The odds are against me, and everyone knows it. I was drafted by Baltimore in the seventh round round of the S21 Draft. It was a throwaway pick. They didn't plan on expecting much from me, and I don't blame them. However, I am like Tim Tebow, I have been proving the critics wrong my entire life. This is nothing new, and I am fine with it. My greatest memory here has also given me the greatest chip on my shoulder. I wouldn't want it any other way. The NSFL is waiting, and I am building a monster down here. You have created this beast, and I love it.

[Tesla]

2) Playoffs MVP: Johnny Slothface (NOLA VS OCO)
Johnny Slothface the second coming of Scott Sterling with his dominating defensive demonstration in this game. Especially as according to reports we have received he passed away more than a fortnight ago in an abominable accident with the New Orleans Second Line Mascot. Coming back from the dead just to help bring his team to the Ultimus is the ultimate definition of a Most Valuable Player in my not at all humble opinion.

Slothface was admittedly quiet as expected of a corpse in the first quarter, but truly kicked it into gear in the second quarter. He broke up a pass attempt from Armstrong to Blaze with just about seven minutes left in the second quarter that led to the Otters having to punt by completing a three and out. That was just the start of his dominance though as the very next offensive play by the Otters was a pass attempt from Armstrong to Sarvepally that was broken up by Slothface who came in like an archangel. It was such a decisive series of events that the ball just fell incomplete the next two plays which makes me quite confident in saying that Johnny Slothface caused two three and outs in the second quarter practically single handed.

No one can do it alone though and so even though Slothface had another pass breakup in the opening drive of the third the Otters were finally able to find the end zone. The Otters' second drive though was held to a long run of just three yards thanks to a timely tackle by Slothface. That tackle forced the Otters to settle for a long field goal that was no good. Thanks to another textbook tackle from Slothface the Otters were held to just seven rushing yards to Slothface's side of the field in the third quarter.

The fourth quarter though is where Slothface showed his intensity even from beyond the grave. Five tackles that held the Otters to just 17 yards rushing to his side over the entirety of the fourth quarter. Combined with a sack on third down that made the Otters converting a touchdown almost impossible and won NOLA the game. Well it would have if not for the referees calling a phantom facemask penalty on Tu'inukuafe that gave the Otters a first and goal situation. Still Slothface did everything you could ask for of a player in putting his team in position to win, and I believe it was fear of his undead fury that led to the steep drop off in performance for the Otters' offense in overtime that allowed New Orleans to emerge victorious.

6) Next Year: Norfolk Seawolves
I will admit first and foremost that I fully expect my client to be called up to the National Simulation Football League immediately after signing, and that by extension he will not be playing for this team next year. That said I wholeheartedly believe that Norfolk can win it all as long as their leadership remains the same or even just similar. The reason being was that they kept me confident that the team could make a push to win it all from the first week up until we were eliminated by Myrtle Beach. They made me confident that we could win any given match up and I expect that confidence to carry them through to the Ultimini.

Juni was one of the first people associated with Norfolk that I met in the league and is as lovely a person as any I have met in this league. They do not work on the strategy side as much from my understanding, however they were a consistently pleasant and positive presence in the locker room even when times were tough. There were at least two stretches of losses that were hard on morale for the team, but Juni never seemed to waver. Always a top tier teammate and willing to own up to mistakes when things went wrong.

Scorp is one of the best leaders I have ever worked for in my long life. Always giving credit to wins to the players and always taking the blame for the losses. Even if none of the players would blame him for it as in several of the instances where they admitted it was just loose play that led to one too many penalties. The big boss would never hear it and always praised the players for the efforts they put in on the field. Their strategies were what set the team up to set the record for most wins in a season in franchise history.

This is a playoff team that could get some stellar send downs next season, but honestly even if most of the talent moves on I still have faith they can make it. If either of the general managers stick around for the next season I will say that I am superbly confident that the team can make a run. Whether they do or not I thank them for giving me that kind of confidence in this team that I have grown to love so much over the course of the season.

12) Pay It Forward: PigSnout
I admit I do not believe that I have had a single interaction with PigSnout in my almost two months in the league. Do not think I have ever seen a single word said by them in that time either if I am honest, although to be fair that also means I have never seen an unkind word from them as well. You may wonder then why it is that I look up to them and to fill out two hundred words about that I am going to explain with as much absurd data as I can into why I have them as one of my goals in this league. Forgive me for the oddity of the following explanation.

I became a grader on March 6th and have since graded 271 pieces of media, and after a couple of conversations it made me wonder what the record number was for most pieces graded to see where I stood next to my fellow grader. The best I could do was the number of appearances on the media log though. Which because of split payments there are times where a grader will appear more times than the number of actual media they have graded and so numbers are skewed a bit by that. However since work must be done to split the payment I do consider that worthwhile.

According to the data I collected there have been 19 graders since the current media log was made. Four of them did not make it to twenty pieces of media graded. Eight did not hit the triple digit mark, although two of the graders in that class have only just started and have not had the opportunities because of my overzealous nature. Only six have graded over two hundred pieces of media. Of those six just three have broken the three hundred mark.

BaconBrother appears as grader 308 times on the media log, Bovovovo appears as a grader 398 times on the media log, and PigSnout has appeared more than either of them. All the respect in the world to the three of them as I know it has been a lot of work just getting close to those numbers. What makes me put PigSnout at the top of this though is because they appear as a grader on the media log a whopping 1189 times! That is more than the next three graders combined!

That alone would be enough for me to comfortably say that I look up to them, however I want to call back to that first paragraph where I said I had not seen a single word said by them. The idea of just showing up and being the best at something without ever really saying anything is immensely impressive to me. In fact I looked into how PigSnout has done this and just discovered that they are also an updater! One of the unsung heroes of the league! So I do not know what kind of superhuman PigSnout is if I am honest, however I do know that they seem like the kind of superhuman that I aspire to be in life.

19) Team Culture: Norfolk Seawolves
Well I praised Scorp and Juni for giving me confidence that the team was in every game above, but I will say that their overall mentality as general managers did wonders to cultivate a locker room where I feel warmly welcomed. Even when I just joined in as a prospect a full week and a half before it was announced that I would be a part of the team I felt more comfortable there then I did in any of the other rooms I had been in since joining the NSFL. Admittedly a large part of that was also the wonderful alumni of Norfolk who have also been kind. Even the one who I accidentally misidentified on meeting and who I got off on the wrong foot with has grown to be a pleasant presence in my opinion.

Actually I just spent about fifteen minutes going back and reading the chat logs from when I was a prospect to get some concrete data there. Genuinely Juni was a wonderful host overall, but especially kind to me given our similarities. Then when alumni started talking more in the locker room it quickly became my favorite place to chat of all the discords. I just appreciate all the help that they have provided me and all of the lovely conversations that we have had so much.

Explaining the why behind it though is a more difficult thing for me if I am honest. I have written hundreds of thousands of words in my life, but the words to describe the positivity of that place elude me in even my best moments. When things are good the ecstasy of the room is electrifying and the energy is palpable. However even when things are bad the room is in good spirits and everyone shows up for one another. The kind of place that will help pick you up when you are down, or lift you higher when you are already up. They have also been kind enough to put up with all of my eccentricities and even they even appear enjoy my sloth reactions.

What really makes the locker room for me at the end of the day is it is a united community, but a warmly welcoming community. There are times where one person or another will be overly favored, however I have seen everyone who has been in the locker room get a positive reception. The team works as a whole and everyone has been willing to help out to the best of their abilities. Even us rookies have done our best to answer questions or connect teammates with the people who can answer the question. That earnest support of one another is something I would not trade for anything. Will be sad when Magnus eventually gets called up, but we will both be proud Seawolves even after the end.