(S23) - Ultimus Week

[bjbren17]

Tier 2: #12 - This is my first ever ISFL ultimus week task, having joined the league just a couple of weeks ago now. When joining a new league it's always a learning process as to how everything works and getting to know all of the players, teams, and users in the league. By creating right after the trade deadline I've been able to maximize my TPE earning opportunities, but it is quite interesting coming into the league at the tail end of a season. Within about 24 hours I was snatched up by the Norfolk Seawolves of the DSFL, who I don't think lost again after I joined the team on their road to the championship. While it is my first sim league championship I don't really consider it that because I wasn't there for most of the journey and my player didn't get very much playing time. The fact that I go into the DSFL draft to possibly play for another team is an interesting concept, but I'm ready to go to wherever my journey takes me in this league. I've gotten interviewed by about four or five teams at this point, which is encouraging that teams are interested. I have enjoyed my couple weeks on the Seawolves and everyone there has been helpful to all the newcomers on the team, so I'd love to stick around there trying to defend the title... but we'll see. For the next season at least I'm probably just going to quietly max earn until I get drafted to an ISFL team. For me it's hard to get attached to a minor league team when you and all the other players are only there for a couple of seasons. I can say with all honesty that as long as I like the people in the locker room of whatever team drafts me, I will remain loyal to that team for the duration of my player's career. I'm maybe getting ahead of myself there but for me the most important thing in sim leagues is good team chemistry as well as winning. I didn't pick the most glamorous position for my player, as I'm not really looking for personal accolades in here, other than making sure I have more TPE than my PBE teammates. I'm really just looking for a pleasant experience here, I doubt I'll get too involved outside of my team locker rooms and I'm excited to really get going in the ISFL.

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Tier 2: #7 - I really don't know very many players in either the ISFL or DSFL at this point so I'm more or less going to be focusing on my own team, the Norfolk Seawolves, for these awards that I'm giving out tonight. My player is a linebacker himself, so there's a specific couple of players on the roster that I'd say he looks up to in terms of performance. First of those would be Shepard Marshall, who racked up 145 tackles this season along with two sacks and three forced fumbles. Marshall is a veteran in terms of experience on the team, and was probably one of most crucial members of this championship team. I'd definitely have to put him into consideration for a positional excellency award and maybe even defensive player of the year. Another linebacker on the team worth mentioning is Adelie de Pengu, who also have a massive season with 121 tackles and 2 interceptions. Another player that warrants a mention on the defensive side of the ball is definitely the leader in sacks in the entire DSFL, Braxton Sinclair, who's just an absolute menace on the field. On the offensive end there's a lot of players to mention as well - I'll start with the underappreciated heroes, the offensive linemen, and one in particular, which would be Thad Pennington Jr. Obviously the stats for offensive lineman are quite limited but the man had 49 pancakes and managed to not allow a single sack all single, which is not an easy task for an offensive tackle. He's certainly got to be in the running for a positional excellency award as well. One of our biggest stars on the offensive end is our top receiver Dre Matthews, who finished third in catches, fourth in receiving yards and first in receiving touchdowns in the DSFL this season. The man is clearly well on his way to a long and successful career, and he should be honored by maybe being the brightest offensive star on the team. Maybe the most impressive thing about this year's Norfolk Seawolves was the selflessness of the two quarterbacks on the team, Luke Skywalker and Suleiman Ramza, both of whom are over 500 TPE and could probabnly rightfully expect to be the leader of the team, but each of them were able to step back and take half of the playing time, and ultimately that led to them winning the title together. Finally, one of the most consistent kickers in the league, Daria Guava-Fresca deserves a mention for her excellence this season for the Seawolves.

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[BRNXB0MBERS]

6) The playoffs have finally arrived. Choose one playoff team that is not your own from either league and recount how they got here in 400 words or more. What challenges and hurdles did they face in the regular season? Did they cruise into home field advantage or have to fight off contenders for the wild card? Are they led by MVP players on offense, or is a stifling defense the engine to their success? Don’t be afraid to go deep.

Led by a high-powered offense, the S23 Yellowknife Wraiths finished first in their conference and eventually won the Ultimus for the first time since S8.

The Wraiths lost their opening game at Baltimore after a late fourth quarter TD from Chika Fujiwara to Nicholas Kaepercolin.

They proceeded to win four in a row including a 54-0 dismantling of the Chicago Butchers in week 3. The entire team put on a show. Cooter Bigsby threw for nearly 300 yards and 2 touchdowns. Acura Skyline and Mathias Hanyadi combined for 150 yards and 3 touchdowns on the ground. Hanyadi also added a punt return touchdown. Action Jackson led the air attack with 5 catches for 78 yards and 2 touchdowns. Kicker Dougie Smalls was perfect on the day, making all 6 extra points and all 4 field goals. The defense was stellar as well. Chase Jensen had 7 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, and 1 sack. Nero Alexander and Patrik Money also added a sack apiece, while Douglas Quaid added an interception. Don’t forget the offense of line – Laszlo Forty-Two only allowed one sack and the entire blocking unit combined for 28 pancakes.

Disappointment hit Yellowknife after a home loss to the Orange County Otters in week 6. Orange County jumped out to a 17-0 lead in the first quarter, but Yellowknife was able to battle back to force overtime after a touchdown with 5:33 remaining and a 20-yard field goal by Dougie Smalls with 15 seconds remaining. Unfortunately, the Wraiths went three and out on their only overtime possession and gave up a 54-yard pass on the Otters’ first offensive play of overtime. Orange County picked up a few more yards and kicker Alex D won the game with a 39-yard field goal.

The Wraiths won a tough road game at San Jose before losing at home to the New Orleans Second Line. Bouncing back in week 9 in a win at the Austin Copperheads, the Wraiths won five of six games from week 9 to 14. Unfortunately, they backed into the playoffs with back-to-back losses at home against the Colorado Yeti and on the road against the Philadelphia Liberty.

Despite the late season let down, the Wraiths were still the number one seed in the NSFC. They won a close game in the conference championship by avenging their week 15 loss to Colorado. They demolished the Copperheads in the Ultimus and were crowned S23 champions.

Despite a few bumps in the road, the Yellowknife Wraiths had an amazing S23.

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15) Choose your favorite non-playoffs game of this season, whether your own team or another. Explain what was so special and why the winner ultimately came out victorious, including key players and moments.

The best win of the season for the S23 Arizona Outlaws came in week 11 against the Yellowknife Wraiths.

Despite falling behind 6-0 after two first quarter field goals by Wraiths kicker Dougie Smalls, the Outlaws outscored the eventual Ultimus champions 46-7 in the second, third, and fourth quarters.

Although franchise quarterback Jay Cue only threw for 1 touchdown, he added 2 more touchdowns on the ground. Baby Yoda also had a great game including 80 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns. He also added 23 yards on 4 receptions. Jah Bur’Berry led the receiving corps with 5 catches for 111 yards. Saba Donut also hauled in 5 catches for 70 yards. Cue’s lone touchdown pass went to Thomas Passmann with 4:09 left in the game

Special teams also played well. J. J. “Jay” Jay-Jaymison made 4/5 extra points and 4/4 field goals, including a long of 46 yards. Saba Donut on kick returns and Desmond Scarlett on punt returns added almost 200 yards.

Always intimidating, the Outlaws defense was spectacular. Possible defense of player of the year Galf Wilf led the team with 9 tackles, 1 sack, and 1 past defended. Stan Koniecpolski had 3 passes defended while Zamir Kehla Kehla had 2 passes defended and an interception. Atlas Quinn also added a pass defense and an interception. The interior of the defense of line, Pete “Plop” Miller and Shane Masters, combined for 8 tackles and 2 sacks.

Last, but not least, the offensive line did not allow any sacks. In a possible performance of the year, Bruce Buckley had 13 pancakes.

Although the Outlaws narrowly missed the playoffs in S23, at least they had this bright spot against the eventual Ultimus champions.

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21) Make a comparison between your own team and a playoff team, if your team failed to make the postseason, showing why your squad was better.

Despite scoring the most points in the league and giving up the fewest points in the conference (third fewest in the league), the S23 Arizona Outlaws missed the playoffs with an 8-8 record. With an expected 10-6 record based on point differential, the Outlaws would have been the two seed in the ASFC. With a similar point differential, the Orange County Otters (422-310 vs 428-306 for the Outlaws) finished as the one seed at 11-5. The sim smiled on actual two seed, 9–7 New Orleans Second Line who had a negative point differential (364-385) and three seed, 8-8 Austin Copperheads with a point differential of +4 (353-349).

So, why did this happen? The answer is surprisingly simple. Against the three previously mentioned teams, the Outlaws went 0-6. They were 8-2 in their remaining games but missed the playoffs at 8-8 because of their head to head losses to the Austin Copperheads.

Yes, the Arizona Outlaws got unlucky (five losses by less than a touchdown and no loss greater than 12 points), but you must beat the better teams in your conference in order to make the playoffs.

Statistically, the Outlaws were better than the Second Line and Copperheads, but games are played on the field, not on paper.

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[2Burkeulosis]

Tier 1 #5

Something that I have been curious about for the longest time (but never bothered to look up) is how does the ISFL compare to the NFL. How do our players compare to there? To find the answer I will be comparing the stats of the S23 ISFL players to the stats of the players from the 2019 NFL season. I will be using the index from S23 and profootballreference.com as my resources and I will specifically be looking at players passing, rushing, receiving, and defensive stats.

Our first category is passing and we will start by looking at total passing yards. In the ISFL the QB with the least total passing yards was San Jose Sabercats QB the rookie Monty Jack with 2715 yards if we took Jack and placed him in the NFL that would place him at 29th just behind Ryan Tannehill and above an injured Matthew Stafford. Looking at the ISFL QB with the most yards at 3944 Arizona’s Jay Cue ranks in at 13th when compared to his NFL counterparts. He did better than Deshaun Watson and Baker Mayfield and he is in the same general area as superstars like Aaron Rodgers and Patrick Mahomes. For our next stat we will be looking at interceptions. Now the NFL’s leader in interceptions was famously Jameis Winston with 30 in the ISFL our interception leader was Monty Jack with 15. By NFL standards Jack would have been placed at 6th most that year just better than Kyle Allen and just worse than Matt Ryan. The best ISFL QB when it came to INT’s was OCO’s Franklin Armstrong with a measly 8. That's about as many as Tom Brady had and puts him in the upper echelons of ball safety among starting quarterbacks. Finally we will look at everyone’s favorite stat touchdowns. Our top QB in that category was Jay Cue his 27 would see him ranked at 5th overall in a four way tie with Jimmy Garaoppolo, Carson Wentz, and Drew Brees and a full 9 touchdowns away from Lamar Jackson’s hi-score of 36.

Next up we have rushing stats specifically total yards and touchdowns. The ISFL leader in yards was Tatsu Nakamura from OCO. At 1437 rushing yards he performed better than guys like Christan McCaffery and Ezekiel Elliott. However it’s still only good enough for 3rd in the NFL behind Nick Chubb and Derrick Henry. Also worth mentioning is that while the ISFL had 10 Rbs with 1000+ rushing yards the NFL had 16. In the TD category Derrick Henry led the NFL with 16. His closest ISFL counterpart was the Wraiths RB Mathias Hanyadi with 13 good enough to tie with Dalvin Cook for 4th best.

Next on our list is the receiving category. Now the funny thing is that the ISFL index does not track targets so we will be looking at receptions, total yards and touchdowns. Receptions is the first stat on this list where the NFL significantly outperformed the ISFL. Michael Thomas set a league record in the NFL with an impressive 149 catches. The ISFL’s league leader was Net Gaines with 81. Even if you ignore the outliers Michael Thomas and RB Christain McCafferey than Net Gaines is still more then 20 receptions away from the next highest receivers Keenan Allen and DeAndre Hopkins. Moving on to total receiving yards things get a bit more even. Again Michael Thomas outperforms everyone with a grand total of 1725 yards but take him out of the equation and the ISFL actually leads this one. Arizona Outlaws WR Saba Donut leads both leagues with 1420 yards. His closest peer is Julio Jones with 1394 yards. Moving on to touchdowns and Saba Donut leads both leagues in this category as well. His 12 TDs narrowly edges out Kenny Golladay’s 11 which ties him with Sarasota Sailfish WR Rayne Gordan.

Finally we will be looking at our defensive players. The categories we will examine will be tackles, Sacks, and Interceptions. Starting with total tackles The NFL total tackle leader was Seattle Seahawks Bobby Wagner with 159 tackles. In the ISFL the Tackle leader was New Orleans Linebacker Quenton Bode with 154 tackles, good enough for 3rd in the NFL. Looking at Sacks the ISFL sack leader was Arizona LB Galf Wilf with16. That places him only 3.5 sacks away from the NFL sack leader Shaquil Barret. Building on this we can see that 18 NFL players finished their season with 10 or more sacks. In the ISFL 11 players finished with double digit sacks. Finishing up with defensive players we take a look at interceptions and this is our closest stat yet. OCO’s Prince Vegeta would be in a four way tie for most INTs with 6 if he played in the NFL. He shares this honor with Anthony Harris, Tre’Davious White, and Stephan Gilmore.

[Troen]

1) The league has a rich and fascinating history, and our perspectives on it differ from person to person. In 800 words or more, describe any significant non-playoffs moment in ISFL or DSFL history, whether you were around for it or not. Describe the context, the significant members, and the events. What exactly made this event so famous (or infamous) and why does it deserve to be remembered?

The Yellowknife Wraiths won the S23 Ultimus and they have reddit and iStegosauruz to credit for that. Here's the story of the article that gave them that win.

===

Starting with the absolutely huge recruitment class of S22, there has been a distinct revolution in the perception around having human players rather than bots as part of teams' offensive lines. This change was kicked off by the article from iStegosauruz showing that human tackles produce better stats than bots at lower TPE and additionally are way cheaper at any given TPE point. That and other similar studies came out at a time when creating at an offensive line position was specifically discouraged in the rookie creation guide and few teams (though notable including the S21 Ultimus-winning Second Line) had human players at any offensive line position.

In the off season the year after that article, we had the announcement of an expansion draft leading to the Honolulu Hahalua and Sarasota Sailfish. The results of that draft included Laszlo Forty-Two going to the Sailfish. After the draft, Forty-Two announced that he was switching to offensive line. That post showed a clear interest in being a great O-linesman but also mentioned a specific interest at getting a championship while playing oline as part of a 'win a championship at every position' personal goal. The Sailfish situation after draft was looking like they wouldn't be an immediate contender, leading to this post from Fort-Two asking that a team which was in contention for a championship trade for him so that he could accomplish said goal (and also making the point that long-term team-friendly contracts with no outs can lead to situations the player doesn't love). That post eventually resulted in this trade sending Forty-Two over to Yellowknife for the S22 season.

In the course of the season, that move looked great as the Wraiths finished up with a league-best 11-2 record and were the top seed entering the playoffs. The playoffs were slightly less good as the Wraiths lost their conference game to the eventual champion Yeti, but an 85 pancake run with no allowed sacks by Forty-Two was good enough to deliver the offensive lineman of the year award to Forty-Two. His play continued to be great in S23, with a league-high 84 pancakes and 1 sack allowed (albeit in 16 games vs. 13 in S22). The 10-6 Wraiths ended up as the top team in the NSFC again, though second overall seed to the 11-5 Otters. The lower seed ended up not mattering, however, after the lower-seeded Copperheads knocked off Orange County in the ASFC conference championship and became the away team for the Ultimus.

(As a brief digression for anyone newer to the league, the Wraiths have been known in recent years for being a great NSFC team, making it to the Ultimus, and then losing. They've had a great amount of overall success and yet haven't been able to make it to the final finish line in over a decade as mentioned in the Ultimus broadcast. So, making it back to the Ultimus and managing to get the win is something hugely important to the team after the years of getting so close.)

All of that background sets the stage for the season 23 Ultimus where Forty-Two delivered an incredible 13 pancakes with no sacks as part of a 157 yard rushing day for the Wraiths as they beat the Copperheads. The 3 rushing touchdowns weren't exactly the difference in a game they won by 25 points, but the overall rushing success was clearly important in a game where they had 2 more turnovers and yet still managed to win time of possession by a bit over 4 minutes. And to be fair, it's not like Forty-Two won the game by himself - Austin only converting on 4 of their 14 3rd downs shows that the Yellowknife defense was also an important factor. But, with only 1 sack given up as compared to Austin's 7, the offensive line was clearly an important factor in the effectiveness of the Wraiths, and Forty-Two was the best player on the offensive line on that day.

So, getting back to the prompt - I firmly believe that Yellowknife's biggest relative strength in the Ultimus was in the offensive line. Their offensive line was better due to having a player who I think will be the best O-lineman in the league two years in a row. He ended up in the position of changing teams due to the size of the reddit-sourced recuiting class leading to the expansion draft, but that didn't necessarily lead to a position swtich. Instead, I believe (but to be fair, didn't check directly) that he converted to the offensive line from wide receiver due in some part to the studies on the effectiveness of human oline players written by iStegosauruz, and so I believe that the article will end up being considered one of the most impactful in the history of the league. Can that hypothesis be verified? Not really, but I know that if I were a GM of the Wraiths, I'd be sending iStegosauruz a thank you cookie or something.

[nunccoepi]

8) It’s always important to look forward to the future. Examine your team, and in 400 words or more, talk about how they can improve themselves to get a stab at trophy contention next year. Are you loaded with draft capital for the next draft? Do you have plenty of cap space to sign free agents? Go through the roster and note the different strengths and weaknesses, and how you think those will change over the next few seasons. How should your team adapt?


Ok another Ultimus Week and another year that I'm examining how the Yeti can get back to the big dance. Last season at this time my hopes were (perhaps admittedly) a little too high that the Yeti would be able to make it back to the Ultimus and win the whole thing. I was riding high from one of the most classic Ultimus games we've ever had in our league history and of course, when you come out victorious from that, who'd think that there was anything they couldn't accomplish? As it turns out this season was actually really pretty balanced as there was a lot of parity between the teams. It makes for an exciting season, but for terrible predictability. When you take this into account then, the Yeti really were pretty close to doing it all again this season. Home field advantage, the ever elusive anti-equalizer, just so happened to fall to the yelloknife wraiths when it could have just as easily gone to the Yeti and set a different outcome.

So what do we have to build upon then? Well, for one, the dynasty of the Yellowknife Wraiths may have finally come to an end with the retirement of Cooter Bigsby. He was not only the heart and soul of that team as he led them to like 5 conference championships in a row, but the Wraiths will have to wait a season or two for their replacement QB to rise to Cooter's level. This leaves a power vacuum in the conference, one that will be readily filled by the Colorado Yeti who take no noticeable steps back. Yes, their own QB, Wolfie, has also regressed, but not to the same level as other QBs--he'll be near the top of his performance by the end of the season just in time to peak in the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Yeti have added talent in other areas, most notably at LB with the signing of Ephenssta, one of the most coveted FAs of the season. Reports have it that Colorado have their eyes on another top FA in the pipeline as well, who, assuming he signs with the team, would make for the one of the greatest FA periods by a team in a long time.

For the current moment, it seems that the Coloado Yeti's biggest concern will be the Baltimore Hawks who finally seem to have their QB situation under control with the up and coming Chika Fujiwara. The Hawks were a surprise success this past season, but assuming the Yeti will be able to lock down HFA, won't be a match for the Colorado team who will find themselves in the championship game once again.

18) Create a billboard, magazine cover, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league. Graphics only.




@C9Van

24) The league is prone to change. Reflect on a past change in either the ISFL or DSFL that significantly impacted something - be it a rules change, an expansion or contraction, or even a complete rebranding. What were the effects of this change, and how has it shaken the status quo?


I suppose that I will talk about in institution of Twitter for this league. I don't think that Twitter has always been something that the league has paid out for. Now, i admit that I could be wrong about this. But I think that they started to pay players for tweets starting around when I joined the league in S6. At that time, people just created twitter accounts because it was fun and another way to interact with others around the league to give a sense of realism. Once they started to pay people for it, then others joined and it became more fun. Over time this participation started to drop off because you could only earn about 600k per week ( i think it was 200k per tweet, up to three per week). So, they incentivized it more with the modern payout. Along with a good Twitter head, we've seen our twitter presence grow considerably over the last few seasons (about 1 year irl) to where there is now a lot of chattering going on on twitter as well. We recently even had a tampering punishment for a tweet sent out by an official account. I think that overall this is a positive thing for the league. Its a worthwhile way to earn enough for almost a full weekly training each week, and it adds some exposure for the league. I don't know if we ever got anyone new to the league solely through twitter but I am confident that it will happen some day as we continue to grow on this platform.

[mithrandir]

Long Form Task 2: 800 words or more
I will be writing about the S21 playoffs.
The Wild Card Matchups:
Yellowknife Wraiths (7-6) @ Colorado Yeti (8-5)
The Wraiths were coming off of a stretch of three straight seasons which they had made it to the Ultimus Bowl but had lost. In fact, they had either won the division or tied for the best record in the division five seasons in a row, yet had failed to win a championship in any of them. This season, they had finally relinquished their stranglehold on the division title, limping into the playoffs at 7-6 as the #3 seed. On the other side, Colorado seemed poised to beat the Wraiths at home, a revenge from the previous postseason. At 8-5, the Yeti had a very good season, led by their star linebacker, reigning Defensive Player of the Year Mo Berry. Colorado attempted to control the game with defense and a strong rushing attack led by Ashley Owens. Instead, Yellowknife stymied the Colorado run game, holding them to only 2.8 yards per carry on 46 rushing attempts. Cooter Bigsby had an excellent game passing to the receiver trio of Nate Swift, Rayne Gordon, and Bender Rodriguez, and Yellowknife won 26-13 despite great games by Colorado defenders Bubba Thumper and Mo Berry.

Austin Copperheads (7-6) @ New Orleans Second Line (9-4)
Austin and NOLA were facing off for the third straight postseason. Despite Austin's 7-6 record and their status and the road underdog, many thought they might win this game. NOLA had looked like the best team in the league by far, winning their first nine games. Then they got ice cold, losing their final four and heading into the playoffs with low morale after blowing their chance at home field advantage throughout the playoffs. This was a clean game with only two penalties and no turnovers. Austin QB Easton Cole outperformed NOLA QB Stan Francisco, throwing for 335 yards and two touchdowns. Austin also led time of possession by five minutes. NOLA did enough to win, though, overcoming a 2/12 third down conversion performance and riding their star running back duo of Gump and Toriki to victory. The stellar duo combined for 218 rushing yards, two touchdowns, and a whopping 5.9 yards per carry. The defense added five sacks and kicker Prohaska made three field goals to hold off Austin and get the win.

The Championship Round:
Yellowknife Wraiths (7-6) @ Baltimore Hawks (9-4)
Baltimore was the number one seed in the NSFL, reaching nine wins by virtue of the incredible play of their veteran quarterback, Corvo Havran. Havran threw for an incredible 32 touchdowns and only 4 interceptions. The defense also contributed to their excellent season, forcing timely turnovers, including a league leading 12 interceptions, with four each from free safety Walt Green and cornerback Marquees Acho. This game started off a defensive struggle. The first quarter consisted of ten punts on ten drives between the two teams. Right at the end of the first quarter, Bigsby hit Swift for a big 30 yard strike down the field, the first offensive spark of the game from either team. Dougie Smalls hit a 28 yard field goal on that possession to put Yellowknife up 3-0. Then Yellowknife erupted. They scored a touchdown on their next possession, a pass from Bigsby to Gordon. Then CB Mervin Leonard intercepted veteran Havran and returned the pick 83 yards for a touchdown. After forcing a Baltimore three and out, Johnny Snuggles took a punt return 78 yards to set up another Bigsby touchdown pass, this time to Swift. Yellowknife scored all 24 of their points in the second quarter, but running back Mathias Hanyadi ran out the clock, grinding his way to 117 rushing yards. The defense held off a late Baltimore surge capped by two touchdowns by RB Darrell Williams, and won the game 24-19.

New Orleans Second Line (9-4) @ Orange County Otters (10-3)
The number one seeded Otters were coming off another magnificent season by quarterback Franklin Armstrong in which he had won his third straight Most Valuable Player award. Armstrong had 26 passing touchdowns and only two interceptions. He also added good yardage on the ground along side running backs Ludicolo Bigby and Siddhu Sarvellapay, resulting in OCO leading the league in rushing yards. With two strong rushing games pitted against one another, both defenses honed in on the running game. As a result neither team had much success on the ground, with both teams averaging less than 4 yards a carry. So both teams took to the air to jumpstart their offenses, with Francisco attempting 38 passes and Armstrong attempting 40. Francisco outplayed the MVP, with 316 yards, 2 first half touchdowns, an interception, and a 91.6 passer rating. Armstrong was abysmal, completing only 40% of his passes, averaging 4.9 yards per pass attempt, and a rating of 64.2. Despite Armstrong's poor play, OCO overcame an early 14 point deficit to tie the game with one minute left on a Bigby touchdown run. After a 37 yard kick return by Deon Taylor to start overtime, Francisco threw a 23 yard strike to Bonaberi Jones on his only attempt of the drive, and after a few runs to get closer positioning, Prohaska drilled a 46 yard go ahead field goal. On the ensuing drive, safety Mason Blaylock made a huge sack on 3rd and 4, and one incompletion from Armstrong later, NOLA was Ultimus bound.

Ultimus Bowl:
Yellowknife Wraiths (7-6) @ New Orleans Second Line (9-4)
There was no drama in this game. After two tough road wins, Yellowknife was spent. Just like they had done in their previous game, NOLA got off to a hot start, going up 20-0 quickly thanks to a couple touchdown strikes by Francisco and two field goals by Prohaska. NOLA had learned their lesson in the previous game, though, and did not let off the gas. They throttled Yellowknife for 583 yards from scrimmage, including 221 yards and a touchdown from Forrest Gump. Francisco threw for 353 and three scores, Gump and Toriki combined for fifty rush attempts and 225 yards, and NOLA won 33-13, handing Yellowknife their fourth consecutive Ultimus Bowl defeat.

[Thor]

7) Awards season is a big part of the offseason festivities. Take the stand, in 400 words or more, for one or more players that are not your own, and argue why they should receive awards glory. They can be your teammates or anyone in the league. How did their stats and on the field contribution contribute to their case this year?

While there are many awards in major contention coming into the end of any season, there is at least one that is almost a sure thing in my eyes, and I believe he deserves one more that will probably go to someone else as well. That player is Bruce Buckley, and the two awards that I believe he should receive are Offensive Lineman of the Year, and Offensive Performance of the Year.

Buckley should be nominated for his season performance, which puts him second of all offensive lineman in pancakes, trailing behind Forty-Two by only 3 pancakes - while also not having allowed a single sack over the entire (newly extended) 16 game season. Rubbe was the closest lineman in the pancake count to Buckley that also didn't allow a sack, but he had 9 less pancakes on his shortstack. While nothing is guaranteed in this league, Buckley has put in the work and deserves the recognition for this award for S23.

On the other hand as I mentioned earlier in the piece, the award for Offensive Performance of the Year is much more contentious and there are many other players who could be in the discussion for receiving recognition on this one, while other statlines may show several different stats, touchdowns or yards, interceptions or sacks - if Buckley is to be nominated, his statline would simply show two things:

13 Pancakes
0 Sacks

A feat of such dramatic proportions is not only uncomparable to any other offensive lineman's single game performance this season, it shouldn't even be brought up against other positions performances. Oh, wow - your QB threw a ball a few hundred yards, or your linebacker hit a defenseless quarterback a few times in a game, that's just great and congratulations to them. Did they throw 13 grown ass humans (who went on to win the ultimus) in their physical prime to the ground? In that game the Outlaws found themself with a 46 - 13 win over Yellowknife, off the back of 107 rushing yards and 4 rushing touchdowns. Jay Cue had a clean jersey at the end of the game not being sacked a single time by a ferocious Wraiths defense and threw for 296 yards and a touchdown.

If that kind of a contribution to a win over an otherwise dominant team can't be considered in the mix for this award, how can we call ourselves advocates of fair rubs?

Bruce Buckley for Offensive Lineman of the Year, and Offensive Performance of the Year.

13) Create an argument for your own player, or for someone else on your team, as to why they should be nominated for awards. Lay out their stats or compare them to other contenders. Make a convincing case.

I believe that Heath Evans should be nominated for an award this season and it's a simple belief, because while he doesn't have a chance of actually walking away with the award over the likes of McCormick - the ballot has to have names on it, so why not Heath's?

This season Evans was on the receiving end of many lasers off the arm of Jay Cue and he managed to bring in an astounding 70 catches, placing him first amongst all Tight Ends eligible for the award. Unfortunately, this is the only category he leads in a yardage total of 538 (3rd for TE's) gives him a dismal average of 7.7 (9th for TE's). There is no relief to be found in the touchdown category as Evans brought in only one over the season.(T-7th for TE's)

It is important to also mention that the statistic often disregarded by award reps and voters alike is the offensive line statistics of a Tight End - as pass catching is only half of their function. This is a category where Evans performs decently, but did not meet expectations set by the S22 season as he racked up 31 pancakes (T-3rd for TE's) and very impressively did not allow a sack.

However the thing to remember is this, he is a contender, he deserves to receive a nomination for the second season in a row.

22) Imagine that the league’s Pro Bowl included a skills competition similar to the NFL. What sorts of  games could you see being implemented? Which players do you think would perform the best in ultimate frisbee, dodgeball, or other games? Which conference would come out on top?

This is tricky and pretty hard to consider in the bigger picture - many of the players in the league have unfair advantages or disadvantages, like having lazer eyes, or being a literal panda/hexagon. I don't think it would really be fair to the competition to hold some competitions, though I'd be very interested to see a panda playing golf.

That said, if we were to put that in I've always though having a players e-sport tournament would be a cool twist on a typical pro sports skills competition. You could have some of the players very out of their element, but there's potential to see some real talent in there too given how much time some athletes dedicate to video games. It could be run on a few different games (ie. a racing/sports sim, fps, and a moba) to make sure most competitive gaming genres are covered.

This would also help the ISFL to tap into the younger market as the competition could easily partner with a streaming service like Twitch to allow viewers to watch the games from any player's perspective. It would also be great to see charity fundraising within this as well to maximise on good deeds. I would say without a doubt there's no chance I'd walk away with the win on one of those competitions.

[Cincyfan96]

7) My case is for Mason Blaylock to be the ISFL DPOY. When you look at stats leaders, Blaylock isn’t at the top of the league in any particular statistic. However, his stats across the board are incredible! While most elite position players are towards the top of the league in one statistic or another, Blaylock is right up there in category after category after category. In pure tackles, he is 30th with 102, but 21 of the 29 players ahead of him are linebackers, who have a tackles boost by the very nature of their position, so that number holds much more weight in my opinion. Next, only three players in the league forced more fumbles than Blaylock’s 2, one of which literally happened as time expired, resulting in a fumble recovery returned for a touchdown which was the game’s winning score. If you look at win probability changes, I would be willing to bet that play had the largest swing of any play in the league this year – taking their win probability from less than 1% to 100%.

Perhaps the most impressive of Blaylock’s stats were his sacks. With 11 sacks, Blaylock ranked 5th overall in the league and had 3 more sacks than any other secondary player in the entire league. It’s that kind of separation that is easy to miss, but once seen shows just how remarkable of a season Blaylock had. Getting after the quarterback constantly, he wreaked havoc by bringing pressure in unexpected ways and bringing the opponent’s momentum to an immediate halt. When he wasn’t in the backfield, he was spying the quarterback, and while you might think that his 7 PDs were a bit pedestrian for a DPOY season, consider that he CAUGHT 5 of them, trailing only Vegeta for interceptions this year. For a player who was such a consistent force in tackling as well as sacking the quarterback, it’s amazing to me that he was able to make such a big impact in coverage as well. Considering all of the plays that Blaylock was not in coverage or spying the quarterback, the fact that he came away with the second most interceptions in the league is truly remarkable. I’m not nearly good enough to analysis to go through and find out his ratio of coverage to playmaking, but I am willing to bet it was remarkable this season.

As I said previously, Blaylock did not lead the league in any one statistic this year, but his playmaking was unbelievable and in this writer’s opinion, he made the biggest impact of any defender in the ISFL during S23.

8) Since I do not yet know which team I will be joining to pursue the Ultimus, I will concentrate on my DSFL team, the Tijuana Luchadores. While our record was not by any means stellar this year, I think a lot of that came down to depth. We had some of the most elite players in the league, but we need some added depth of talent to get back over the hump and compete for the Ultimini this coming season.

The first step will be the development of Mike Boss Jr. as our new franchise quarterback. If he is anything like his father before him, he will be up to the challenge of taking this team by the reins in the coming season and competing with any and everyone who comes our way. A bit more accuracy out of him will be the biggest thing, as he hurled 7 interceptions before finding the endzone in his debut season. Perhaps having more reps with Slothlisberger leaving town will allow him to get into a good rhythm and find his own groove as he looks to follow in the big footsteps left by his father.

The wide receiver situation certainly shouldn’t deter Boss Jr. from finding success in his sophomore season! Vequain and Howlett look likely to return as maxed out veterans to give him some elite and dependable targets to look for. Perhaps adding a late round tight end to the mix could give even more weapons for Boss Jr. to play with in this offense.

The Luchadores are also likely crossing their fingers that Crowbar Theeks III gets a sophomore season in the DSFL after leading the league in pretty much every rushing statistic this season. If they can add a solid offensive lineman next to Icebox Riposte to help give Boss Jr. more time and Theeks more holes to exploit, this offense will be truly deadly.

The needed improvements that are truly glaring in Tijuana are on D. Broken Bot and Moe Johnston comprise the defensive line, sitting at 77 and 52 TPE respectively, which simply will not cut it when it comes to rushing the quarterback. There is a huge need here to beef up this defensive line in order to give the team a chance to stop the run and survive in coverage. In this writer’s opinion, it would be nearly impossible to invest too much into the D-Line this offseason.

The linebacking core of Schell, Wright, and Sabor looks solid as can be. If none of them are called up to play in the ISFL next season, this group could remain untouched if wanted.

The secondary is equally questionable. Maverick Bowie will depend on where he is drafted, but if he remains he will be a lockdown safety in this league in S24. However, likely losing Bane Ka’ana’ana will leave the secondary with no active CBs, a situation that would surely lead to disaster. Therefore, the only way that too much can be invested in the cornerback position is if nothing is invested in the D-Line.

My suggestion? Draft D-Line and cornerback early and often! If you can snag an O-Lineman that would be next priority followed by a tight end or running back to fill out the offense. If these moves can be made and there is a little bit of luck in who is (or rather is not) called up to the ISFL right away, Tijuana has a serious chance to make a splash in the Ultimini race. I can’t wait to see how it plays out!

[dahayn]

5) Write 800 words or more on something that interests you.

I would like to take this moment to recognize a man that many have seen before but not many have taken the time to get to know. This man's name is Mr. Geraldo Jimenez Guadalupe-Fransisco. He likes to go by Mr. G because, and I quote "most of these kids now days have the memory of taquito and can't remember my full name". Mr. G has worked for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers organization from it' s inception back when it was on the other side of the country in Palm Beach, CA and the team was called the Solar Bears. He was one of the first employees hired in 2020 by then GM and team founder, Mr. Booter, to be the equipment manager. Mr. G has, since his hiring held many other unofficial jobs on the team but he still retains the official title of equipment manager to this very day. The mostly tragic history of this team is written in the lines of Mr. G's face but every time you see him, he will have his trademark smile on and wish you a beautiful day. He is ever hopeful and always dependable. That's the kind of man he is and that's the kind of man this team has always needed.

The first time I met Mr. G was after my first practice with the team. I had just transitioned from the position of linebacker to the position of wide receiver and was struggling with the playbook. It was getting late. Most of the team had already left the facilities and I was alone, sitting in my locker, trying to absorb concepts and verbage that I wasn't familiar with so the next day's practice would go better than my first. An older gentleman shuffled into the locker room and started gathering the bins that held our dirty jerseys and towels. He was making a bit of noise and I was already frustrated with my performance and how hard it was to memorize the playbook so I might have snapped at him a little bit to keep the noise down so I could keep studying. It got real quiet for about 30 seconds while he just stared at me so I went back to my playbook happy for the silence. The next thing I know, I'm being pelted with dirty ass-sweat towels and half full water bottles while while the older man was saying things en espanol toward me. He was not happy. I thought about getting mad at first but this guy was old like my grandpa so all I could do was to take cover behind my playbook while apologizing the whole time and wait until he ran out of ammunition. After what seemed like hours, he stopped throwing things and stormed out of the locker room. I didn't know what to do but the room was a mess and I really was sorry I snapped at the old fella like I did so I started picking things up and putting them back in the bins. About 10 minutes later the man came back in and informed me that I need to learn to respect my elders while helping me finish cleaning up the room. I apologized again and explained to him why I was so frustrated and that it accidentally manifested by me acting stupidly toward him. He said he understood and we officially introduced ourselves to each other.

Mr. G asked me what was so hard about the playbook? Why was I not understanding what I needed to do? I explained to him about how the coaches wanted me to not only understand what I was supposed to do but they wanted me to know what the defense would do to try to stop me. As a linebacker I had 3 jobs. Protect an area, follow a guy and make sure he doesn't catch a ball, or kill the QB/RB. That was easy. Now I have to count steps, remember routes, avoid getting stuffed at the line, and still catch the damn ball. Mr G just started laughing at me. He asked me who I thought was the best WR to ever come out of this franchise was. I said, "Rayne Gordon, he just had over almost 1200 yards and 86 catches just a couple seasons ago." Mr. G nodded his head.
"That's right, and you know what? He sat here in this locker room just like you after his first practice all pissed off because he had trouble as well.". Mr. G looked me in the eye and said, "and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him." He picked up my playbook and tossed it in the trash bin. "You don't need that to win. All you need is speed boy. Speed is king. You know where you need to go to get points and you're going to be covered by 1 or 2 guys. Get there faster than everyone else and it all works itself out in the end."
"Mr. G, if that's what Rayne did, then I'll give it a try." I felt hopeful for the first time that day.
"Oh no, Rayne learned his playbook and was fast. Maybe you might need a couple things in that book. You better get it out of the trash before your coaches think you gave up. But don't worry about it so much. None of this stuff really matters. It's all a simulation. Digital words and dots on a computer screen. Turtles on turtles on turtles."
I laughed as I fished my playbook out of the trash and thought what he said about speed kinda makes sense but that last part was super weird. Maybe he's crazy? I don't know." OK Mr. G, I'm going home. Thanks for your help and stuff. Have a good night".

[LimJahey]

#7: Awards season is a big part of the offseason festivities. Take the stand, in 400 words or more, for one or more players that are not your own, and argue why they should receive awards glory. They can be your teammates or anyone in the league. How did their stats and on the field contribution contribute to their case this year?


With the expansion to sixteen games this year, everybody got to get some extra stats. In terms of tackles, the top ten is filled with linebackers, except for a single cornerback. Tyron Shields, cornerback of the Chicago Butchers was the third ranked player in tackles with a total of 139. With this being his rookie season, Tyron had an impressive year all around, leading all defensive backs in tackles, and being in the top end for pass deflections as well. So should he win defensive rookie of the year? Some of his competition include Baltimore linebacker Dex Kennedy, who finished with 130 tackles, Heinrich Kackpoo who finished with 128 tackles, and Magnus Valdyr who finished with 127 tackles and an impressive 17 pass deflections. So lets do a deep dive into Tyron Shields to see what he is about. He was taken in the monstrously large S22 draft class, but he wasn't taken early on. With such a large class a lot of talented players were expected to drop, but in the end Tyron Shields ended up dropping into the eleventh round before being selected by the Chicago Butchers. Tyron almost immediately put being drafted late behind him though and started putting in the work. He didn't have the most impressive season in the DSFL, finishing with 40 tackles and two pass deflections, but he was called up to join a Butchers team that was desperate for improvement after a horrific 1-12 season. Given such a huge opportunity, Tyron made sure to make the absolute most of it, performing incredibly well in preseason before turning into one of the leagues best performing cornerbacks as a rookie, leading all rookies in tackles and having the second most pass deflections as a rookie. With the season now over, there is nobody I would rather see winning defensive rookie of the year and it doesn't relate to his on the field performance. Inside of the Butchers locker room, he has been an absolute godsend. He's compassionate, friendly, and a true team player, who wants the best for everyone on the team, and there is nobody I would rather start a locker room with than him. Being a leader both on the field and in the locker room, I believe that Tyron Shields deserves this defensive rookie of the year award with my whole heart, and I am more than ready to celebrate with him if he wins the award.

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#11: Give a thorough examination of a league scandal from any point in time. What made this particular drama so noteworthy? Who were the major participants involved, and what was the offense? What kind of impact did this scandal create on the league, and have any permanent changes come about as a result?


While not a massive scandal in terms of the amount of players and teams affected, I would like to take a look back when Zamir Kehla was fined and punished for tampering during the S22 offseason. It all started when Action Jackson announced that he would not be returning to the San Jose Sabercats after the season ended. He made a thread on the forums announcing his decision to test out free agency, and announced it before the acceptable time for other teams and players to start bidding and tampering. Zamir is a very intriguing player, most people either hate him or love him, I'm neutral on my views of him, but he is a very polarizing figure in the league. Zamir is not a fan or friend of the Sabercats, and has made it quite clear that they're rivals. San Jose players really do not like Zamir, especially HeHateMe PickSix who has been very vocal of their rivalry. While the thread carried on and everyone said their goodbyes and their "legal tampering", Zamir said something that would land him in some hot water with the HO. "Arizona could use a WR, if you want to play for a team with a championship window". While not big news at the beginning, the Head Office did not take the post as a joke and started working on a tampering punishment for Zamir. The punishment from the head office came in and Zamir was fined $5,000,000, banned from being a GM for two seasons, and potentially banned from a GM in S25 as well. The scandal was not in Zamirs post, but rather the response of the HO. Did Zamir actually attempt to tamper and recruit Action Jackson or was it a joke? That was the question that HO was dealt with figuring out and they ended up deciding that it was enough to be considered tampering. After announcing the thread and having a second look at the case, head office decided that the punishment was justified and hit Zamir with the galvel. In my personal opinion, I believe that the head office was too harsh in terms of fining Zamir. A $5,000,000 fine was a big hit, it's about what my rookie contract was worth, which is unfair to pin on a lone player. For a post that could be taken as a joke, head office really took it too seriously, and part of that could be considered to Zamir as a player and a general disdain for him. So in my personal opinion, I think that you can make an argument that it was tampering, but the punishment was too harsh for an unclear motive.

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