So with it being draft season, prospects like me have inboxes full of DSFL scouts trying to figure us out. As the preening narcissist I am, I thought it was time to turn the tables on these guys, and what better time than the day of the ISFL draft to judge how the DSFL scouts did with this class. I'll probably only do 3 rounds, though.
In other words, let's offend some people I don't know and tank my draft stock!
(Only regular season stats were used for this article)
Round 1
1) Kansas City Coyotes - Asher Montain - DE (Alabama) B+ Grade
Montain's individual production was good this season, with 61 tackles, 11 for loss. He was a huge asset with his versatility, slotting variously into the DT, DE and rush LB positions in a complex Coyotes defense. Still, a player like Montain is more about the team than individual stats, and he has earned a huge amount of TPE.
2) Portland Pythons - Dorothy Zbornak - DE (Golden Gate) B Grade
With defensive ends going 1 & 2, the temptation would be to make a slightly unfavourable comparison between Zbornak and Asher Montain, but that wouldn't be fair. Zbornak had a good rookie year playing as a traditional DE and occasional rush LB for the Pythons, and solid TPE earnings means she projects well at the next level.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Jeremiah Zelos - LB (Grambling State) C- Grade
On production alone, Zelos had a decent year, with 6 sacks and 105 tackles, but his TPE earnings have disappointed for a third overall selection. His production saves this from a worse grade, but you've got to find a max earner with your first round pick, especially considering the linebackers left on the board.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Zoe Watts - RB (Stanford) A Grade
What other grade can you give to the highest TPE earner in the class? A 4.9 YPA and 9 scores coming out of a Birddogs backfield committee is no mean feat, and her raw speed will see her terrorize defenses for many seasons to come. It's hard to find value at 4, but Dallas managed it.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Quentin Button - S (Iowa) A Grade
62 tackles, 2 forced fumbles and 3 sacks from a rookie lining up in the free safety spot? Those are numbers. Button had a super productive year, with TPE earnings to match. Norfolk takes the stud safety of this class at 5, which is super valuable in a league powered by the nickel defense.
6) Minnesota Grey Ducks - Alejandro Chainbreaker - LB - (Buenos Aires) A- Grade
Sacks, forced fumbles, tackles... Chainbreaker did it all for Minnesota this year, culminating in a LB of the year award. In a team that routinely fielded only two linebackers, Chainbreaker was more than worth his spot. With colossal TPE earnings, the only thing stopping this pick from being an A is...
7) London Royals - Juan Domine - LB (Houston) A Grade
166 tackles. With one hundred and sixty-six tackles (repetition and full spelling are for emphasis, not word count), who needs awards? Those are insane numbers for a rookie, especially when coupled with his other stats. A natural at MLB and OLB, Domine is being touted by many as the first overall pick tonight for good reason. London flat out nailed this pick.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Maverick Bowie - S (Liberty) B+ Grade
Lining up as a true free safety for Tijuana, Bowie has been a tackling machine. Though he probably would have wanted more than 1 INT on the year, his TPE earnings have been great. Though I called Button the stud safety of this class, Bowie is not far behind him at all. Good pick by the Luchadores.
Round 2
1) London Royals - Woodrow Brooks - DE (UCF) Royals: B+ Grade / Grey Ducks: D Grade
The Royals took Brooks, then used him to trade down and land a more productive player. Good move.
The Grey Ducks traded two picks for Brooks, and I think it's fair to say he hasn't developed quite how they would have wanted. His stat line (38 Tackles, 18 TFL, 6 sacks) is reasonably productive, but seems to indicate a player who is only focused on backfield penetration. Minnesota probably wouldn't make this trade again.
2) Portland Pythons - Joel Drake - S (Louisville) A+ Grade
Four interceptions and 22 passes defended are insane numbers for a safety... until you realise Drake lined up at cornerback for Portland this year. Even so, those are really nice cornerback numbers for the former Cardinal, with outside-the-box thinking by the Pythons compensating for a weak cornerback class and shaping a DROY.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Arlington Heights - DE (Valparaiso) B+ Grade
A sack machine with an all-league name - and DL of the year - Arlington Heights was highly productive in his rookie season. If TPE tracking wasn't openly available, you probably wouldn't know he hasn't quite maximised his potential.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Nerdy Name - KP (Wheelie Boi) D+ Grade
Coming into the league as a kicker from a highly suspicious school, Dallas raised eyebrows when they converted Name to a safety. A tough transition has yielded a decent safety with adequate production, but his TPE earnings just haven't been enough to justify a second round pick with many superior players available.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Sigismund Sternenstaub - DT (Duke) B Grade
Maybe switching sides of the line between Norfolk's nickel and 3-4 packages caused Sternenstaub's surprisingly poor individual numbers, it's tough to say - a bit like his name. I can say, however, that he was a big part of a Norfolk defense that won the Ultimini. Solid pick.
6) London Royals - Busch Light - LB (Alabama) A Grade
It must have been tough for players facing the Royals. If you didn't run into Domine, you probably got hit by Light. Light showed great versatility defending the run and pass games, with max TPE to boot. Busch Light is a far, far better linebacker than a beer and really good value for the Royals at this spot.
7) Kansas City Coyotes - Joshua Campbell - WR (Wyoming) A Grade
Rookie wide receivers can have it tough, but with 13.6 YPC on 41 catches, there can be no doubt about the calibre of player that Campbell is becoming. Will he be taken in the first round tonight? I think so. Great value for Kansas City.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Adam Schell - LB (Kentucky) B Grade
Though Schell didn't put up huge numbers in his rookie year, he has made really good progress as a player through the season. You can bet on better numbers from him next year. This was more or less the right range for the Kentucky product.
Round 3
1) Kansas City Coyotes - Brach Thomaslacher - LB (Texas Tech) A Grade
A LB who converted to a DE who lines up mostly at LB - those 13 words tell you everything you need to know about this guy. Yes, he's coming off the edge whatever the formation and yes, he's going to sack your QB. Drafting max earners in the third is a good way to win Ultiminis.
2) Portland Pythons - Myles Smith - RB (Florida) F Grade
Sadly, it seems that a conversion to LB wasn't enough for Smith, who has failed to improve at all after a promising start. Another who has fallen out of love with the game, Smith seems to have given up on his ISFL dreams.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Grummy Bear - S F Grade
In hindsight, it's easy to say that the lack of a collegiate athletic background was a red flag for Grummy Bear - whatever Myrtle Beach saw in him, it hasn't panned out. The lowest TPE earner of the first three rounds. Ouch.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Taro Raimon - WR (Notre Dame) A Grade
With oddly similar stats to Joshua Campbell (plus a touchdown), Ramon has had a great rookie year. Dallas' scouting department did a great job getting value here, as Raimon looks destined for success at the next level.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Captain Rogers - RB (Brooklyn) B- Grade
A tough one to grade here. Should Norfolk have picked Crowbar Theeks? Probably. That said, Rogers has done really well as the second back in the Norfolk backfield committee. A hair under 1000 yards at 5.1 YPC is a decent rookie stat line, and Rogers keeps on improving.
6) Minnesota Grey Ducks - Azarius Ranger - DE (Florida) C- Grade
Not a bad year of production for Azarius Ranger, but his TPE earnings have fallen off. This is saved from a worse grade by the fact that Ranger was the best defensive end available at this point, so had good positional value. The best defensive end, that is, unless you count...
7) London Royals - Harrison Andrews - TE (Florida) B+ Grade
An immediate convert to defensive end, Harrison Andrews has spent much of the season as a gap-clogger in London's 3-3-5. While this hasn't converted to much in the way of individual stats, he has performed his role admirably and continues to show ISFL potential.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Crowbar Theeks - RB (Texas) A+ Grade
OROY at the end of round three. I repeat, OROY at the end of round three. Did being Tijuana's bell-cow running back win Theeks the award? Almost certainly, but 4.7 YPC on 337 carries can't be dismissed. This guy is a baller. Great pick from Tijuana.
Apologies for the mistakes I probably made.
All of the above work is the half-baked, semi-researched opinion of myself, Crunk, not to be confused with DSFL prospect Tayshawn Crunk. Any angry tweets at my player will be met with confused responses, possibly accompanied by shirtless pictures of old men.
In other words, let's offend some people I don't know and tank my draft stock!
(Only regular season stats were used for this article)
Round 1
1) Kansas City Coyotes - Asher Montain - DE (Alabama) B+ Grade
Montain's individual production was good this season, with 61 tackles, 11 for loss. He was a huge asset with his versatility, slotting variously into the DT, DE and rush LB positions in a complex Coyotes defense. Still, a player like Montain is more about the team than individual stats, and he has earned a huge amount of TPE.
2) Portland Pythons - Dorothy Zbornak - DE (Golden Gate) B Grade
With defensive ends going 1 & 2, the temptation would be to make a slightly unfavourable comparison between Zbornak and Asher Montain, but that wouldn't be fair. Zbornak had a good rookie year playing as a traditional DE and occasional rush LB for the Pythons, and solid TPE earnings means she projects well at the next level.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Jeremiah Zelos - LB (Grambling State) C- Grade
On production alone, Zelos had a decent year, with 6 sacks and 105 tackles, but his TPE earnings have disappointed for a third overall selection. His production saves this from a worse grade, but you've got to find a max earner with your first round pick, especially considering the linebackers left on the board.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Zoe Watts - RB (Stanford) A Grade
What other grade can you give to the highest TPE earner in the class? A 4.9 YPA and 9 scores coming out of a Birddogs backfield committee is no mean feat, and her raw speed will see her terrorize defenses for many seasons to come. It's hard to find value at 4, but Dallas managed it.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Quentin Button - S (Iowa) A Grade
62 tackles, 2 forced fumbles and 3 sacks from a rookie lining up in the free safety spot? Those are numbers. Button had a super productive year, with TPE earnings to match. Norfolk takes the stud safety of this class at 5, which is super valuable in a league powered by the nickel defense.
6) Minnesota Grey Ducks - Alejandro Chainbreaker - LB - (Buenos Aires) A- Grade
Sacks, forced fumbles, tackles... Chainbreaker did it all for Minnesota this year, culminating in a LB of the year award. In a team that routinely fielded only two linebackers, Chainbreaker was more than worth his spot. With colossal TPE earnings, the only thing stopping this pick from being an A is...
7) London Royals - Juan Domine - LB (Houston) A Grade
166 tackles. With one hundred and sixty-six tackles (repetition and full spelling are for emphasis, not word count), who needs awards? Those are insane numbers for a rookie, especially when coupled with his other stats. A natural at MLB and OLB, Domine is being touted by many as the first overall pick tonight for good reason. London flat out nailed this pick.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Maverick Bowie - S (Liberty) B+ Grade
Lining up as a true free safety for Tijuana, Bowie has been a tackling machine. Though he probably would have wanted more than 1 INT on the year, his TPE earnings have been great. Though I called Button the stud safety of this class, Bowie is not far behind him at all. Good pick by the Luchadores.
Round 2
1) London Royals - Woodrow Brooks - DE (UCF) Royals: B+ Grade / Grey Ducks: D Grade
The Royals took Brooks, then used him to trade down and land a more productive player. Good move.
The Grey Ducks traded two picks for Brooks, and I think it's fair to say he hasn't developed quite how they would have wanted. His stat line (38 Tackles, 18 TFL, 6 sacks) is reasonably productive, but seems to indicate a player who is only focused on backfield penetration. Minnesota probably wouldn't make this trade again.
2) Portland Pythons - Joel Drake - S (Louisville) A+ Grade
Four interceptions and 22 passes defended are insane numbers for a safety... until you realise Drake lined up at cornerback for Portland this year. Even so, those are really nice cornerback numbers for the former Cardinal, with outside-the-box thinking by the Pythons compensating for a weak cornerback class and shaping a DROY.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Arlington Heights - DE (Valparaiso) B+ Grade
A sack machine with an all-league name - and DL of the year - Arlington Heights was highly productive in his rookie season. If TPE tracking wasn't openly available, you probably wouldn't know he hasn't quite maximised his potential.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Nerdy Name - KP (Wheelie Boi) D+ Grade
Coming into the league as a kicker from a highly suspicious school, Dallas raised eyebrows when they converted Name to a safety. A tough transition has yielded a decent safety with adequate production, but his TPE earnings just haven't been enough to justify a second round pick with many superior players available.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Sigismund Sternenstaub - DT (Duke) B Grade
Maybe switching sides of the line between Norfolk's nickel and 3-4 packages caused Sternenstaub's surprisingly poor individual numbers, it's tough to say - a bit like his name. I can say, however, that he was a big part of a Norfolk defense that won the Ultimini. Solid pick.
6) London Royals - Busch Light - LB (Alabama) A Grade
It must have been tough for players facing the Royals. If you didn't run into Domine, you probably got hit by Light. Light showed great versatility defending the run and pass games, with max TPE to boot. Busch Light is a far, far better linebacker than a beer and really good value for the Royals at this spot.
7) Kansas City Coyotes - Joshua Campbell - WR (Wyoming) A Grade
Rookie wide receivers can have it tough, but with 13.6 YPC on 41 catches, there can be no doubt about the calibre of player that Campbell is becoming. Will he be taken in the first round tonight? I think so. Great value for Kansas City.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Adam Schell - LB (Kentucky) B Grade
Though Schell didn't put up huge numbers in his rookie year, he has made really good progress as a player through the season. You can bet on better numbers from him next year. This was more or less the right range for the Kentucky product.
Round 3
1) Kansas City Coyotes - Brach Thomaslacher - LB (Texas Tech) A Grade
A LB who converted to a DE who lines up mostly at LB - those 13 words tell you everything you need to know about this guy. Yes, he's coming off the edge whatever the formation and yes, he's going to sack your QB. Drafting max earners in the third is a good way to win Ultiminis.
2) Portland Pythons - Myles Smith - RB (Florida) F Grade
Sadly, it seems that a conversion to LB wasn't enough for Smith, who has failed to improve at all after a promising start. Another who has fallen out of love with the game, Smith seems to have given up on his ISFL dreams.
3) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers - Grummy Bear - S F Grade
In hindsight, it's easy to say that the lack of a collegiate athletic background was a red flag for Grummy Bear - whatever Myrtle Beach saw in him, it hasn't panned out. The lowest TPE earner of the first three rounds. Ouch.
4) Dallas Birddogs - Taro Raimon - WR (Notre Dame) A Grade
With oddly similar stats to Joshua Campbell (plus a touchdown), Ramon has had a great rookie year. Dallas' scouting department did a great job getting value here, as Raimon looks destined for success at the next level.
5) Norfolk Seawolves - Captain Rogers - RB (Brooklyn) B- Grade
A tough one to grade here. Should Norfolk have picked Crowbar Theeks? Probably. That said, Rogers has done really well as the second back in the Norfolk backfield committee. A hair under 1000 yards at 5.1 YPC is a decent rookie stat line, and Rogers keeps on improving.
6) Minnesota Grey Ducks - Azarius Ranger - DE (Florida) C- Grade
Not a bad year of production for Azarius Ranger, but his TPE earnings have fallen off. This is saved from a worse grade by the fact that Ranger was the best defensive end available at this point, so had good positional value. The best defensive end, that is, unless you count...
7) London Royals - Harrison Andrews - TE (Florida) B+ Grade
An immediate convert to defensive end, Harrison Andrews has spent much of the season as a gap-clogger in London's 3-3-5. While this hasn't converted to much in the way of individual stats, he has performed his role admirably and continues to show ISFL potential.
8) Tijuana Luchadores - Crowbar Theeks - RB (Texas) A+ Grade
OROY at the end of round three. I repeat, OROY at the end of round three. Did being Tijuana's bell-cow running back win Theeks the award? Almost certainly, but 4.7 YPC on 337 carries can't be dismissed. This guy is a baller. Great pick from Tijuana.
Apologies for the mistakes I probably made.
All of the above work is the half-baked, semi-researched opinion of myself, Crunk, not to be confused with DSFL prospect Tayshawn Crunk. Any angry tweets at my player will be met with confused responses, possibly accompanied by shirtless pictures of old men.
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