|
Offline 
I’m here today to talk about Garfield Despacito Jr., the S26 Most Valuable Player, Offensive Player of the Year, Wide Receiver of the Year and Offensive Breakout Player of the Year. Garfield Despacito Jr. is a man who came from nothing as the bastard child of a disappointing offensive lineman named Garfield Despacito – a player who’s greatest achievement was getting blown out by the Buccaneers in the S20 DSFL playoffs.
The younger Despacito was drafted in the sixth round of the S22 ISFL draft by the Orange County Otters, and his ISFL career started slowly. Doubted by everyone around him, Despacito Jr. spent two further seasons in the DSFL before being called up. His first two ISFL seasons were solid but unspectacular as he found himself the third receiving option behind Future Trunks and Jeffrey Phillips. In Season 26, the Otters’ offensive captain has taken the league by storm. Through five games he has eight touchdown receptions in a league where no other player has more than four. The receiver entered the season with 11 career receiving touchdowns, a mark he might surpass before I finish writing this PT. And the Otters don't even play until tomorrow night. He's that good. He’s on pace to finish the season with 54 receptions for 1386 yards and 26 touchdowns, which is completely absurd. The record for receiving touchdowns in a season is 17, set by S9 MVP Carlito Crush. Despacito Jr. is not only on pace to break this record, but to absolutely shatter it and set a new record that might stand forever - the other mortals at his position would need at least 20, maybe even 25 game seasons to stand a chance of besting it. His 25.5 yards per reception cements him as the best deep threat in the league, and his ability to score touchdowns at a rate we have literally never seen before is why he’ll win MVP, and should win it unanimously. Despacito Jr. can run almost as fast as a 50cc moped with a limited engine, and it shows every time he runs a go route and blazes past opposing defensive backs. If the Otters win the Ultimus in S26, there will be two words on the lips of every Orange County fan: “Garfield Despacito, Junior” ![[Image: booker.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/325313603211362304/792911875549036544/booker.png) [OPTION]S24 (PHI): 16 GP, 73 tackles, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 3 sacks, 5 INTs, 10 PDs, 2 TDs
[OPTION]S25 (PHI): 16 GP, 67 tackles, 4 INTs, 13 PDs, 1 TD [OPTION]S26 (OCO): 16 GP, 68 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 10 PDs [OPTION]S27 (OCO): 16 GP, 116 tackles, 4 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD [OPTION]S28 (OCO): 16 GP, 84 tackles, 1 FF, 1 FR, 3 INTs, 20 PDs, 1 TD [OPTION]S29 (OCO): 16 GP, 99 tackles, 3 FF, 1 FR, 5 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD [OPTION]============================================================= [OPTION]ISFL Playoff Stats: [OPTION]S23 (PHI): 1 GP, 2 tackles [OPTION]S26 (OCO): 1 GP, 5 tackles, 2 PDs [OPTION]============================================================= [OPTION]Trophies and Achievements: [OPTION]Drafted 35th Overall by Myrtle Beach in the S21 DSFL Draft [OPTION]S21 Ultimini Champion [OPTION]S21 DSFL Pro Bowl Selection [OPTION]S21 DSFL Defensive Back of the Year Nominee [OPTION]Drafted 4th Overall by Philadelphia in the S22 ISFL Draft [OPTION]S23 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection [OPTION]S23 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee [OPTION]S23 ISFL Defensive Performance of the Year Nominee [OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection [OPTION]S24 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee [OPTION]S26 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Returner of the Year Nominee [OPTION]S29 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection [OPTION]S29 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee [OPTION]============================================================= Player | Update | Wiki | Twitter ![[Image: unknown.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/325313603211362304/786004012553207868/unknown.png) Offline  Offline  At this time of writing it is 5 weeks into the season and so far James Cho has accumulated 12 tackles 5 tackles for loss and 1 sack. This is a bit of a concern as these stats overall are on the lower half of the defensive end pool. Despite having put in so much time in the offseason with his teammates Cho has contributed only miniscule and that is totally unacceptable. At this point I believe I should have at least 14 tackles, with 7 tackles for loss and 6 sacks. Despite Cho’s record not being in the top half of the defensive end stats his Yellowknife team is looking extra hot. My current hot take? Yellowknife wraiths who had an abysmal losing record last year will take the Wraiths to the Ultimus. The Yellowknife wraiths are tied for the first place spot with the butchers and sailfish. This is quite the turn around as the wraiths typically start very slow so this hot start is a nice and welcome surprise. Currently the NSFC has one team that hasn’t had a single win and that is the recent new expansion team the Fire Salamanders. Of course a slow start was expected but to not even have 1 single win so far into the season is pretty bad. Who knows wha the problem is, could be the players or management but at the current rate they are going they will basically be the jets of the NFL team.
![[Image: kBnBxTG.png]](https://i.imgur.com/kBnBxTG.png) ![[Image: KXaq3uN_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium]](https://i.imgur.com/KXaq3uN_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)
After an amazing preseason performance of 13/13 Extra points and 7/7 on Field Goals, Jacob Small was on top of the world, I was on top of the world. After those 4 preseason games that I stayed perfect throughout... I knew this season had the possibility of being very special. I'm a 6x nominee under the special teams' category but I have yet to come out on top. I have been patiently waiting for so long, and I am so happy that this really could be my year. And as we are 5 weeks into this season, my god am I really kicking a lot of ass. The sailfish are firing on all cylinders for a 4-1 start and I am so happy to say that I have been very instrumental to our success. I am 14 for 14 on Extra Points and 15 for 15 on Field Goals, one game I scored 5 field goals and 4 extra points for the best kicker performance of the week. That is 59 points that would not exist without my help. But in other news, I am officially the WORST punter in the league and hey, that is actually something you want to be. The fewest punts mean the most long drives ending in points for the team. Now that is just awesome. I really feel like that kicker award could be mine this year.
Code: 235 WordsOffline  Offline  ![[Image: simo_393ISFL2.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/simo_393ISFL2.gif) [OPTION](S31) GP:14 | Yds: 3360 | Cmp%: 60% | Lg: 64 | TD: 20 | Int: 13 | QRB: 81.8
[OPTION](S32) GP:14 | Yds: 3293 | Cmp%: 59% | Lg: 62 | TD: 26 | Int: 10 | QRB: 93.1
[OPTION]
[OPTION]* = leads league
[OPTION]============================================================================== [OPTION]Playoff Stats [OPTION]DSFL - Portland Pythons
[OPTION](S30) GP: 1 | Yds: 189 | Cmp%: 70% | TD: 1 | Int: 0 | QRB: 109 [OPTION](S30) GP: 2 | Yds: 538 | Cmp%: 64.4% | TD: 5 | Int: 1 | QRB: 103.7
[OPTION]==============================================================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements: [OPTION]S32 DSFL Pro Powl - Quarterback
[OPTION] [OPTION]============================================================================== [OPTION]Career Path: [OPTION]Drafted by the DSFL Portland Pythons with pick 3.04. [OPTION]Drafted by the ISFL Arizona Outlaws with pick 1.13.   ![[Image: simo_393.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/simo_393.gif) [OPTION]Achtfunf | Wide Receiver | Berlin Fire Salamanders
[OPTION]Height: 5ft 10in [OPTION]Weight: 185lb [OPTION]Birthplace: Rockhampton, Queensland [OPTION]Number: 85 [OPTION]Peak TPE: 1180 [OPTION]============================================================================== [OPTION]Regular Season Stats [OPTION]DSFL - Kansas City Coyotes [OPTION](S22) GP:14 | XP: 21/24 88% | FG: 22/26 85% | Lg: 42 | P: 35 | Yds: 1524 | I20s: 5 | Lg 62 [OPTION](S23) GP:14 | XP: 28/29 97% | FG: 21/24 88% | Lg: 52 | P: 36 | Yds: 1596 | I20s: 5 | Lg 57 [OPTION] [OPTION]ISFL - Philadelphia Liberty [OPTION](S24) GP:16 | XP: 26/28 93% | FG: 22/27 82% | Lg: 57* | P: 99 | Yds: 4677 | I20s: 26* | Lg 74 [OPTION] [OPTION]ISFL - Berlin Fire Salamanders [OPTION](S25) GP:16 | XP: 31/33 94% | FG: 27/27 100%* | Lg: 56 | P: 106 | Yds: 4938 | I20s: 14 | Lg 73 [OPTION](S26) GP:16 | XP: 42/42 100%* | FG: 25/27 93% | Lg: 47 | P: 83 | Yds: 3924 | I20s: 7 | Lg 71
[OPTION](S27) GP:16 | Rec: 114 | Yards: 1321 | Rec TDs: 7 | Avg: 11.6 | Long: 78 [OPTION](S28) GP:16 | Rec: 123 | Yards: 1378 | Rec TDs: 11 | Avg: 11.2 | Long: 59
[OPTION](S28) GP:16 | Rec: 63 | Yards: 625 | Rec TDs: 8 | Avg: 9.9 | Long: 64
[OPTION]
[OPTION]* = leads league [OPTION]============================================================================== [OPTION]Playoff Stats [OPTION]DSFL - Kansas City Coyotes [OPTION](S23) GP:2 | XP: 2/2 100% | FG: 2/2 100% | Lg: 43 [OPTION] [OPTION]ISFL - Berlin Fire Salamanders [OPTION](S28) GP:2 | Rec: 17 | Yards: 124 | Rec TDs: 1 | Long: 21
[OPTION](S29) GP:3 | Rec: 6 | Yards: 52 | Rec TDs: 0 | Long: 18
[OPTION]==============================================================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements: [OPTION]S23 DSFL Pro Powl - Kicker [OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Powl - Punter [OPTION]S25 ISFL Pro Powl - Kicker [OPTION]S28 ISFL Pro Powl - Wide Receiver
[OPTION]==============================================================================
[OPTION]Career Path: [OPTION]Waiver pickup by the DSFL Kansas City Coyotes.
[OPTION]Drafted by the ISFL Philadelphia Liberty with pick 4.05.
[OPTION]Drafted by Berlin Fire Salamanders in the S25 expansion draft.
[OPTION]Position swap from Kicker to Wide Receiver after S26.    [OPTION](S25) KCC 7-7 (.500) | 4th in NFC
[OPTION]============================================================================== [OPTION]Playoff Records: [OPTION] |
|
|
![[Image: PT2.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/721401145557385289/786013351280640000/PT2.png)
![[Image: Untitled-1.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/763536517183701003/931781826253561936/Untitled-1.png)
![[Image: 9S7tpoj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/9S7tpoj.png)
![[Image: sWnFf0X.png]](https://i.imgur.com/sWnFf0X.png)
![[Image: Joestar.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/715349418169204757/854007927937171456/Joestar.png)
![[Image: unknown.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/325313603211362304/855804707754606612/unknown.png)
![[Image: 1pd2jo9.png]](https://i.imgur.com/1pd2jo9.png)
