(S26) - PT 2 - You Sit on a Throne of Lies

[mee]

Jonathan Shuffleboard is going to set the record for most useless player of all time. He seems to only get tackles. What do you do with a safety that can't make breaks on the ball? What is the point of a safety that cannot seem to intercept a pass thrown right at him? Should he be moved to linebacker? Perhaps, but Shuffleboard is far too small to play with the big boys. Corner is out of the equation, maybe running back would be a good idea?
All Shuffleboard seems to be good at is tackling. That is a very important skill on the defensive side. However, small fast safeties can't only be tacklers. Shuffleboard may end up with the most tackles of all time for a safety. I heard that he may be looking to bulk up and play linebacker.
What do you all think? Should Shuffleboard, with his nine tackles, yet zero passes defended, and zero interceptions, and zero defensive touchdowns, and zero forced fumbles find a new place on the field? Is the playing a far too important position to only be a tackler? Yes, he is.
Can Shuffleboard hack it at linebacker? Maybe, put perhaps soccer is a better idea for the young man.

[Eagle Eye]

Pink Panther is probably the worst kicker in London Royals history, actually the worst player in London Royals history, actually the worst player in DSFL history. He is on a very talented London team that has potential to do good, but his kicking ability is very subpar. By very subpar, I mean abysmal. He is the worst kicker statistically and he looks like a 4th grade trying to hang out with the big kids when he's out on the field. On the other hand, the London Royals, despite being held down by a terrible kicker, are looking really good. I'm hoping to see more growth and development from them, because they're playing amazing. If Pink Panther can learn how to play football and kick a ball through the posts and the rest of the team continues to grow they can be really good. My hot take for the beginning of the season is that London will turn a lot of heads by being a top tier team in the DSFL this year against expectations. If the Royals don't turn heads and play much better than expected then I will dump water on my head. However, the way they are looking it will happen for sure.

[xTri]

PBE PT

[toivo]

SHL PT

[zaynzk]

What are the odds, who would think that a scrappy team from the big apple would win against the big bads of the league the orange county otters, this is one the biggest upsets of the centry as the otters were at home and were testing at a high rate. Lead by Ramza the otters thought they could destroy the young and unproven defense of New York, however new york refused to back down and ended up winning, ramza was held to one touch down and was humiliated, while Sam Howitzer was able to make quick work out of the talented Otters defense. This win will start a huge push for New York, as this was their toughest stretch of away games so they will have many home games to build momementum that might lead them to the playoffs. This would be the first time the Silverbacks reached the playoffs in a short history but they wont waste the opertunity. they are high earning and high spirit and will destory so called stronger teams and hopefully dominate in the ultimus against probabably frost even tho he sux, and Frolf should be fired they have made a good team that might make it, however we plan on winning

[yonggarius]

Throughout the first few games of this season, the Dallas Birddogs are actually looking really good. They won all 3 of their first games, and currently has the best record in the DSFL by a fair maigin. To add to the amazwment, two of those three games had been tougher road games, with one being against a legit Minnesota Grey Ducks squad. Comparing this to the depressing season the team had a season ago (4-10, missed the playoffs and ended up with the second overall pick), we can see that this is a big turnaround. Granted, the Birddogs were fortunate enough to avoid their usual 'everyone is gone to the ISFL' situation this offseason, but one of their callup casualties had been their quarterback Mattathias Caliban, who is now suiting up for the Yeti. But again fortunately, the team was able to find a new signal caller in Joliet Christ Jr, who had been doing a great job.

Going on, I think that the Birddogs will continue to go strong. The team had traditionally became a lot more competent towards the end of the season, and it's most likely that the same thing will happen this season as this new crop of rookies are earning exceptionally well.for once, I can see the Birddogs getting into the playoffs for the second time in their history. (224)

[Gumbaman]

SHL; https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid2952185

[Kyle]

SHL PT

[OrbitingDeath]

So I was drafted by the Honolulu Hahalua, who came off an 8-8 season. As a former expansion team I just knew they had to be on their way up and things would be better next year. In fact, I even predicted them to make the playoffs this year. But before I was even called up, the team seemed to have been plummeted into a sinkhole. 0 wins 6 losses. That is far off from that 8-8 season they had last year. The worst thing is…. It’s not even on purpose, they actually are sim testing and they should win like 110% of the games in these tests. But the sim decides otherwise. It is like the simmer takes bribes for letting us lose. Which wouldn’t make much sense as I’m quite sure the simmer is on our actual team. He did sim himself a defensive touchdown though, so I do think we’re on to him. Luckily they are saving the wins for last year, so that Cobra Kai can become the saviour of the Hahalua!

And for the Birddogs? We are 3-0, who would have thought. It finally is time for the Birdpups to get what is theirs! All it took was to send Rev to the Otters, if only we knew last year it was that simple.

Words: 219

[Goat_Whisperer]

Blago Kokot is the best kicker/punter in Yellowknife and perhaps in the whole league. Such a statement is not news to most as Kokot's name is first in multiple statistical categories. For example, Kokot has delivered the longest field goals and punts this season. Both are also records in Yellowknife, which only further highlights how Blago has been able to dominate. Yellowknife as a team has started the season well, the Wraiths have won five out of the six games so far. Kokot and his excellent kicking and the punting game have been the heart and soul of the team. The way Blago kicks the ball, the elegance combined with pure power is almost an erotic experience.

A growing number of people follow Yellowknife because of Kokot, he is seen as a modern renaissance man as he refuses to wear the team's tracksuit, instead, he wears a full denim outfit. According to Kokot himself, the denim just feels right. People travel hours to see Kokot. An anonymous player from a rival team revealed to us that losing did not hurt as much when they had the opportunity to play against a player of Kokot's caliber.

Respected by his peers, loved by all the fans. Kokot is a nice guy and an excellent kicker/punter.