(S27) Ultimus Week

[KezKincaid]

12) Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

Gronku Muerto is a Tight End prospect entering into the S28 DSFL Draft. He was born and raised in the city of sin, Las Vegas, Nevada, playing his college ball for his hometown UNLV Rebels. His family name is more often associated with Icelandic hockey players than All-American football stars - it turns out his mother was a showgirl at Caesar's Palace Casino during the S34 SHL awards ceremony held at that very venue. It also so happened that SHL GM Riko Muerto was in attendance at that Awards Show, and apparently the hockey legend had a dalliance with a Vegas showgirl that resulted in, some 9 months later, the birth of a baby boy who they named Gronku. Times passes, as it tends to do, and since this was the days before the Golden Knights existed, and hockey was not a big draw in Vegas, he grew up playing football instead. After his college years, he originally had plans to head to Canada to play for the Roughriders in the Canadian Football League, but with Covid shutting down that league, he began to look elsewhere to extend his playing career.

An acquaintance let him know about a unique league which was gaining a strong cult following on the internet, called the ISFL. He heard that his position was one which some of the teams could use, so he declared himself eligible for the pending Draft at the Trade Deadline, one of the early prospects to sign up. Most of these new prospects were added to various team rosters as they needed to have reserves in case of injury, with playoffs pending. Gronku was picked up to play on the practice roster of the Portland Pythons, a team which was looking to ensure themselves a playoff spot. The team went on a roll to finish the regular season strong. While Gronku did not get any playing time, it was an opportunity to see the level of play the league provided. It was much faster and the players were much more talented and stronger. He quickly realized that if he was going to be a contributor, he would have to work even harder.

Despite the fact that the Pythons were eliminated in the playoffs, and Gronku never even got to play a single down, he took the experience to heart and has been diligently working in the off-season. He feels his overall ability has improved greatly, even though there is still a lot of work to be done. He awaits the Draft now, and the prospect bowl is also beckoning. It will be his first real opportunity to showcase his gameday skills in front of scouts and managers. He also hopes to make a good first impression at the various interviews with the scouts. 

Currently Muerto is projected to be a 2nd or 3rd round pick, he is not the most skilled player or the most hyped, but he is assured to bring a strong work ethic and an easy-going attitude to whatever team calls his name.




17) Describe the unique food items sold in your team’s home stadium. Write about the most popular items among your team’s fans and players, or create a graphic showing the menu of featured foods in the stadium. 

The Portland Pythons really go all out with the snake branding, even when it comes to the food items offered at the concessions. Some of the unique and delightful items available are things like Boa Burgers - fresh ground constrictor meat flame-grilled to your liking and served on a brioche bun! Or you could get the Rattlesnake Sausage in a Bun - like a hot dog but a snake! And what child could go to a game and not get the Python Kebab - juicy morsels of your favorite slithering reptile cubed and slow-roasted on a skewer. Check out the JumboTron to see the delight and terror of small children as they gnaw on this delicious dish! But by far the most popular of all is the SnakeShake! With an assortment of flavors such as gartersnake, cobra, or viper, each of these chilled snake smoothies can be spiced up with just a drop of snake venom ... not enough to kill you but gives you a tingling in the extremities - and you thought ice cream headache was bad! Python Football is a great experience for the foodie looking for a different type of game snack! Also available for take home for those games you just can't make it to the stadium!




30) Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, highlights, or totally fraudulent mail-in ballots. Whatever rookies get up to these days. 

There are a number of Tight End prospects coming up in this DSFL Draft. Many teams could use a Tight End, so let's have a look to see what might set them apart for team needs:

Stanley Yelnats : His best trait is 'Hands' at 70, then average Strength, Agility, and Endurance, and below average Blocking
Jack Sparrow : His speed is fantastic with 70, above average Strength, but below average blocking
Buffalo Hunter : Great Speed and good Hands, average Strength and Agility, but his blocking could use some more work
Chevvy Bronco : The highest pre-Draft TPE of all the Tight Ends, he has very good Speed and Hands, and strong Endurance
Gronku Muerto : Above average speed, hands, and strength, slightly improved pass blocking, not the brightest tool in the drawer though
Joey Marston : Definitely clocking in as the fastest of the TE prospects with a Speed rating of 72, he also is slightly improved in blocking than others. His compete level might be the only question mark. My guess is he is the first TE off the board
Beau Novak : Also clocking in with a nice looking speed rating and decent hands, and is better at blocking than some others

All of these Tight End Prospects look to be great active additions to their teams, I'm sure GMs will be looking at what they have been working on in the offseason as well. With TE being a need position for several teams, it will be interesting to see if any take a chance in the 1st round, or hold off knowing they can probably get a decent player at this position in the 2nd or 3rd rounds. My guess is that maybe a couple go in first round if they have impressed GMs so they get the guy they want. I can see Marston, Bronco, and Hunter all being potential first round picks

[UpperNet]

9. I'll would make the ultimate Offense! What team would that be? Well of course I will make the most heavy team! The most biggest team that I can make out of the current player. Everbody knows that the more heavier you are the better at football you are. So further ador lets introduce the most biggest team i can come up with the biggest offense im the current isfl.


QB - Nick Kaeparcolin - standing 6'5 and 240lbs not only he has an arm but he has the thickness. He can stand in the pocket strong cause he is dummy thick.

RB - Richard Gilbert - ah yes, An absolute unit sitting at 6'2 and 245lbs. How can anybody even tackle this thick lad?

RB #2 -  Running Back - He should change his name to "Thick Running Back" Because just running back doesn't describe his unit frame at 6'3 and 235lbs

TE - Cleg Manclaw - This dude can be an Offensive Lineman, This mad unit is 6'5 and 280lbs. Catching ball and mauling Small frys.



WR - Mike Hunt - 6'4 and 230lbs, he can use his thickness in the endzone because who would qanna guard an absolute unit

WR #2 - jacoby clay - Surely he lacks in tpe but he makes up in it with total mass and 6'5 238lbs. Who needs TPE when you have the god given thickness of a sweet honey bun.

Slot WR - william Alexander -standing 6'4 250lbs. yes why the biggest wr in this roster is in the slot? Because slot is a code word for thickness.

T - Ananda Adyan- yes not only is he a unit im weight but he is built lime a sky scraper standing 6'8 and 340lbs, this is the reason why the salamanders value him so much

G - Clay Stallworth - he's not 6'8 like adyan but the thickness is definitely not lacking because he's at a sturdy 340lbs.

C - Thad Pennington - who cares that he only has 400 tpe? Because damn this boy be lookin thick, he is 6'6 a solid height also a nice 340lbs

G - Ne Mo - Sadly this is the less thick OL of the group but he makes up for it for his thick height at 6'7.

T - Adam Mellot - He's 6'7 a perfect height for a tackle but of course we are not talking about that. Oh nooo, he's a big boy at 340lbs. Yes sir, looking thick like mamas apple pie.

This Team has to be the most thick team i can come up with. Can any team even defeat this unit of a team? I dont think so.


12. "One isn't just born into the thickness, They have to train night after night to obtain that thickness" Gluteus Maximus

Glute was Born in Atlanta Georgia, Growing up Glute was always active in sports playing Basketball, Soccer and football. Glute wasn't that big of a kid growing up, I'm fact he was the smallest. One day Glute was playing running back in a flag football match and went up against a thick linebacker. Not only was the Linebacker was thicker then a snicker but damnthat boy could move quickly. After getting dominated by that running back Glute realized that being athletic wasnt enough to make it in sports. You had to be THICK and athletic and that very moment glute started his training to be an absolute Unit. He ate day after day ate till he can't eat anymore, But also Glute continued to play sports. By high school he was already a thick 220lbs and 5'6 But he could out run any Receiver or Running back on his team. Rumors said that he ran a 4.3 40 yard dash while being able to bench 350lbs for reps. Ah yes this began the story of dominace, Glute was a star in high school. He played on offense as a running back, Bull dozing anybody who was brave enough to get in his way. And on defense he played linebacker crushing anybody who he crossed paths with. But what he was best at was in special team, a Kicker to be exact. In his 4 year career he never missed a single kick and he holds the record for longest kick at 66 yards. Glute also played basketball as a point guard, Yes you heard that right. Glute made history as the heaviest point guard but he was quick enough to break any ankles. Glute also played on the soccer team well he made all attempt and leave injured goal keepers in his path. Glute decided to commit to Georgia tech as his best position kicker, He dominated the college scene where he took noticed in many DSFL teams but the sad truth, There was a problem DSFL teams was afraid of. DSFL teams was scared glute was too thick to play as a kicker and that made teams afraid. Glute fell to the 4th round well the minessota ducks wasn't afraid of glutes absolute Thickness and he continued to dominate, winning countless of awards after awards. This is the success story of the world's thickest kicker Gluteus Maximus.

[sapp2013]

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15) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport. +5.0 TPE (411 words)

Alright so I am not in any other sim leagues, so I'll talk about one I want to create. I am a huge tennis fan (Division III collegiate tennis player and current Division III tennis coach), so I have always wanted to find a tennis simulator league. The closest I can get to that is the various subpar console and PC games that are out, or this one app that is super hard to find now, but you only control and update yourself while everyone else stays stagnant. Anyways, so I got bored during a week and using my excel powers, I created a simulator for tennis matches. There are 9 different attributes: Forehand, backhand, power, service, volley, technique, speed, doubles, and endurance. I also have each player choose a strong court type and a weak court type, between hard indoor, clay, grass, and hard outdoor courts. I have created over 300 unique players that update as they get older with a maximum of 13 years played in the league. There are various tournaments each week that reward points based on the level of competition (like the ATP if you are familiar), and I can accommodate singles, doubles, 3-set, and 5-set matches. I have the annual schedule all planned out and have actually gone through about 3 months schedule with each player. The stats are automatically kept and exported once the tournament is finished. The only thing that I need now is more users, a helper, and time lol. I think it is super fun, and we can throw team stuff in there so it is not always about your individual accomplishments. I have also created a way to converting it to a college format so it is much more of a team format than following the ATP style. I have gone so far as naming all of the potential national tournaments and creating some teams to make sure everything seems balanced. If a all-encompassing college sim league gets created, where they have many sports, including baseball, basketball, football, and soccer, this might be the spot to throw my simulator in for discussion. The one downside of it is that it is a straight numbers simulator. You can not follow around colorful dots to tell what the game score is, but it is possible to upload the stats in a way where it is like watching a match game by game. Anyways, that is what my sim league creation would be!

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17) Describe the unique food items sold in your team’s home stadium. Write about the most popular items among your team’s fans and players, or create a graphic showing the menu of featured foods in the stadium. +2.5 TPE (204 words)

Freddy Bly's favorite thing about the Kibbie Dome in college is the Baked Potato concession stand they have there. Everything you order is a base of a baked Idaho Potato. I am surprised people have not gotten sick of eating them yet. Anyways, They have a variety of different things to throw on the baked potato, such as chili, Teriyaki chicken and noodles, sauteed veggies, pulled pork and BBQ sauce, Taco meat and fixings, and so much more. They even allowed (see the past tense used here) students to vote on their favorite creations to be ultimately put on the menu board permanently! This all changed in 2037 when the winner of the competition was literally just crest toothpaste inside of a baked potato. And this did not just win by a slight majority, but the student body almost unanimously voted for this option, with it receiving 93.1% of the votes! They do still change up the menu from time to time and have certain game day specials, but the tradition of a student created baked potato creation is now gone from the infamous Kibbie Dome. Long live the Toothpaste baked potato, the baked potato that killed student creativity at the University of Idaho.

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21) What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why? +2.5 TPE (221 Words)

The team that I believe has the best branding in the league is the Yellowknife Wraiths. They have a little bit of scary, little bit of minimalism, and a little bit of color scheme swagoo. Nothing looks cleaner than a baby blue on a dark grey background. it is just, if I may quote Andre 3000 from the band Outkast, "So fresh and so clean". I guess that means I also have to give a shoutout to the grey ducks for copying the Wraiths successful color scheme, but that is hard for me when the team is based in Minnesota. I have to give a shoutout to the sailfish as well. The colors just compliment each other so well. The team I believe needs a rebrand is the Butchers of Chicago. To me, the logo is just a little meh, and there are already two other red/black teams in the ISFL. Come up with something original, like the Lake Michigan Wendigos or the Wisconsin Milkmen or the Terra Haute Truckers, or the South Dakota Jackalopes. Crap, gotta write these down. I guess you cant really go with a different color scheme for a team named the butchers, so they just need to be relocated, Jiggly be damned. Like to Wisconsin. Have I said that enough here? Wisconsin needs a team.

[firstfray]

1) This week will see the S26 Ultimus and Ultimini races begin in earnest. How did each team arrive at the playoffs? Were there any dark horse teams that went unexpectedly far, or any presumptive favorites that fell flat? Who do you think will win the final? If you’re writing this after the finals were decided, were you surprised by the outcome?

Let’s talk about how the runner ups of the S26 Ultimini got there. The Kansas City Coyotes were not in the conversation to win the Ultimini this season at all. Everyone talked about the highly touted Portland Pythons with the load roster they had with a bunch of send downs and even a killer draft where they picked up two too earners late in the draft! On the other side, KCC came off having the 1st overall pick in the DSFL draft with a defense that was void of talent. Especially at the LB position where only a GM bot was rostered at that position. After having a killer draft where KCC brought in an amazing veteran in Luke Quick, managed to snag one of the best LBs in the draft in the second round with Dexter Hall, and picked up another top earner in Professor Godfrey Gravity in the 3rd round. But that’s not all they did, after teams had heard that Busch Goose had his eyes on a HoF career and wanted up into the ISFL immediately, he slipped all the way in the 4th or 5th round to KCC. With a completely retooled roster, the Coyotes were ready to compete.

Their first game came against the said favorites, Portland Pythons. The Coyotes were ready to show the whole world what they were about after jumping to a 2 touchdown lead in the 3rd quarter. Unfortunately, the team was still young and made a few mistakes and fell to the Pythons in crucifying fashion 44-33. Then, the Coyotes managed to handle business with the Grey Ducks fairly easily and hopes were high because the team could compete. All was well against the Luchadores in week 3 until the team missed the game winning field goal as time expired. Then the team turned it around against the Seawolves and the Coyotes are sitting at a respectable 2-2 record where they have been competitive in every game.

Not all is good however as Kansas City goes on to lose their next 5 games, most by one score or more. Sitting at 2-7, the teams hopes were gashed and each week going forward held their playoff hopes by a thread. However their spirit was not completely broken as they won their next 4 games, all by at least 1 score or more. All of the rookies had kept up with updating and they were starting to hit the 200 TPE range. Rookie and defensive captain z0rem led the defense in dominant fashion and rookie QB Troy Abed was lighting it up on offense.

In the final week, the Coyotes were up against the Dallas Birddogs, the eventual Ultimini champion. Unfortunately, their future was not in their hands as the Coyotes needed a Grey Ducks loss and a Coyote win to qualify for a playoff berth. As if the sim gods had graced Kansas City, the Grey Ducks lost and it was all on the Coyotes to beat the 11-2 Birddogs. And boy they did that in dominant fashion. The Coyotes jumped out to an insane 30-7 lead by the 3rd quarter and despite the efforts of the Birddogs with a 13 point 4th quarter in garbage time, the Coyotes put them away. And off they go to the playoffs!

Their first test came up against the conference champs Portland Pythons. These teams knew each other very well and the Coyotes had actually lost to them twice in the regular season. Determined to show whos boss, rookie sensation Troy Abed dropped back 60 times to pass completing 41 of them for 374 yards and 3 touchdowns and no interceptions. The Coyotes were actually losing going into the 4th quarter by a touchdown but thanks to a timely Dexter Hall interception, Troy Abed was able to capitalize on good field position to tie the game. After some great efforts on defense and offense, the Coyotes scored 10 more points to complete the comeback as they headed off to the Ultimini against the Dallas Birddogs.

In the Ultimini, the Coyotes jumped out to a 21-7 lead after scoring all 21 points in the 2nd quarter. With both sides of the team looking dominant, the Coyotes were ready to win a championship. Unfortunately, the offense stalled for the rest of the game and the defense let up some key drives as the team lost 23-21. The Coyotes almost won too as they had the lead late in the 4th quarter and all the team needed was a big stop. The Birddogs kept driving the field however and stalled before reaching the end zone but a field goal was enough for them. The ensuing drive Troy Abed had a minute to work his magic. After some methodical passing, the team got to the Dallas 37 yard line to attempt a field goal for the win but with no timeouts and the clock ticking, the time ran out before the field goal unit could go for the win. The whole KCC franchise was devastated but they look to have a successful draft and reach the Ultimini again and this time, win!

[HENDRIX 2.0]

Tier 2: Short Form Tasks (Each must be 400+ words)
Choose up to TWO for 5 TPE each.

9) If you could create a team using any active players in the league, what would that team look like? Would you build a group of all-stars to contend in the next Ultimus, or a team full of jokesters for the fun of it? Describe the roster and why you chose the players you did.

If I could create a team from scratch, I would try to build a modern day ISFL dynasty. In order to maximize my window of championship contention, my roster would consist of S25 to S28 players. Ideally these players would be high character users who shared the same vision as me. Times would be tough for a season or two before our hard work bared fruit. It would be some short term pain for potential long term gain. At QB I would go with the young S28 pocket passer Dexter Zaylren. Young QBs are usually bad, but that won’t matter for this team that much because we will be young all over the lineup. I see massive potential in him. At running back I would go with Cobra Kai and Busch Goose. Kai would be the workhorse for my offense for a couple years while Busch would develop behind him. My tight end of choice would be James Wilkinson. As an S27 player he’s already the 11th most developed at his position. He is a versatile player that could be the best at his position very soon. Choosing my three wide receivers would be a very tough choice, there is incredible talent around the league at this position. I’ll choose one of each archetype: Joshua Campbell as my speed WR, Eleven Kendrick-Watts as my possession WR, and Raphael Delacour as my slot WR. Obviously I would love to have five humans to form my offensive line: Mellot/Archstone/Adyan/Alexander/Quigley. My defensive ends would be Raylan Crowder and Ernest Lover. Goat Tank and Marlon Brando would be my big guys in the middle. My linebacking corps would consist of BamBam McMullet and Big Slammu at the outside spots with Hank Winchester as my man in the middle. Cornerback is another loaded position with many great players. I’ll go with two players I know well, McJimmerson and Dan Foster. At safety I believe Davriel Lavigne and Caven McRae would make a devastating, ball hawking duo. Having a 12th man of the defense would help bring versatility to my lineup. Romulus Roman would fit that role well, he’s an S28 player that could sub in several positions and develop without much pressure. To top off the lineup my special teams player would be Jake Fencik, he will have many years of kicking in that leg of his. My predictions for this squad would be a 3-4 win team for two seasons, and then things would take off quickly and hopefully sustain for a good 5-6 seasons, hopefully culminating in a few Ultimus wins. (432 words)

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 200+ words or a graphic)
Choose up to FOUR for 2.5 TPE each.

16) The bank now accepts ISFL currency in exchange for real money – every ISFL dollar counts as $0.50 in the real world. How much money would you exchange, and what would you spend it on?

If this exchange rate were true, I would be hanging up my cleats from my ISFL days. I would instantly walk out of my current job never to return and head to the nearest exotic car dealership.  Fortunately my ISFL bank account has been able to amass about $76M, so that would leave me with $38M USD after the bank exchange. That 38M would probably be taxed to hell, so let’s call my take home pay a crisp $25M. I’m a modest, humble man. With that I would find a $5M house plus land out in the American southwest. Fitted with an indoor swimming pool, bowling alley, arcade, and movie theatre. In my garage I would have about $3M worth of my favorite automobiles: an Urus and 599 GTB as daily drivers, an H1 for the trails, a Huayra to take the gal out on Saturdays, and perhaps a ‘67 Corvette for Sunday drives. I would put a sizable portion of the money into gold and about 2M into crypto. Time away from home would consist of traveling the country and witnessing what the natural environment has to offer. Finally, I would look into helping out endangered species in North America and help with the pollution of our waterways. (209 words)

17) Describe the unique food items sold in your team’s home stadium. Write about the most popular items among your team’s fans and players, or create a graphic showing the menu of featured foods in the stadium.

Yellowknife fans are tough and cold. Our home stadium is located in northern Canada on a frozen lake, and obviously it’s an outdoor stadium. We are not wimps like the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings. This part of the continent is known for long winters and frigid temperatures. Most of the Wraiths season takes place in freezing temperatures. Towards the end of the year fans have to endure frostbite warnings due to the wind. At the stadium we have a plethora of foods and drinks to turn up the heat. Hot wings are the most popular food at the stadium. The heat of the sauces range from mild to nuclear meltdown. Have you ever been frozen on the outside yet on fire on the inside? Come to a Wraiths game when the winter is blowing in. We have coffee and tea from around the globe. We don’t cheap out on these products. We buy the best of the best, yet we don’t charge an arm and a leg for it at the stadium. These products are a thank you to the fans, it’s one of the ways we give back to them. Gourmet hot chocolate is the most popular product amongst our young fans. For our Inuit fans, we sell whale and seal at the stadium, believe it or not we are the only stadium on the continent that has those two food items. (232 words)

[TheSparkyDee]

Tier 1

The ISFL ended the season last night and we are here waiting for the next season to start and the off season will be boring BUT it is a good time to wind down and enjoy the off season. I know the league is offering a nice banquet for the new rookies going from the DSFL to the ISFL. But the biggest thing about this league that I have noticed is that they take good care of their players and buy equipment like other leagues. We need to be able to afford the biggest equipment. And we should not feel like we have to write a ton of media over and over again to get that money. I have tried to do game recaps in other sim leagues and I think that is the best way to get paid…. or get those bags. If you think about it 16 games sim the ISFL, and 14 in the DSFL, if you do 1000 words per game recap, that is over 16 thousand words and when you go over 5k words it is like over 8 million bucks. So you would have over 25 million bucks in one season and that’s not bad at all. If you do that for 4 seasons you will have 100 million bucks! And I want to get to that one day. Next season I will push to do those kinds of media pieces. I do not have anything that bugs me in this league except one thing is the sim… “Sim is going to sim”. That is a quote I have heard over and over again. Each sim league I have heard it and I am starting to think I am a back luck charm when it comes to sims. I do not watch a lot of sims because I am very superstitious. The ISFL needs more double media events, because that is where I get most of my money coming in. I am going to need to get that double media noiceness cash flow. The people who organize that please give more double media. It would be the best present to us all. Media graders, sorry but… we need money! I am so poor, I balled out for that equipment and it left me poor. So, I will need to find some more ways to get some cash. The ISFL is still a great league and the twitter world in the ISFL is some fun stuff, I took over as the person who runs the Chicago Butchers OFFICIAL Twitter page. People on the ISFL Twitter share and tweet the craziest things, there are so many people talking about how much a problem it is with eating food… they do not know what to eat. I had to ask the twitter world if i should eat pizza. And everyone said yes. I have been in the Professional Baseball Experience for shorter time than I have been in ISFL, but the PBE has more community interactions like personal events, and twitch with that, of course it is live and you get twitch points for watching the events and then you can use those said twitch points and get $1 million PBE dollars added to your account, which is really nice. So, that is one thing the PBE has over the ISFL and SHL. The ISFL youtube watch parties are as fun as the PBE and SHL ones. So, maybe there is a way we can get those events changed and elevate them. Another thing is Community events, in the PBE there are weekly community events where you play games such as cards against humanity, Jack in the box, rocket league, and even a Minecraft server. So when you participate you get $500k or ISFL even could up the ante and have 2 TPE Available with $500k I think that would bring a ton of involvement in. You need to make a community team and have people who would do it. But I guarantee you could find someone to do it. The fact is that this will be helping people get free money and TPE! I think that would be a great idea for a future team to be made. I am loving the ISFL, so I do not want to leave any time soon, but we can fix some things like the pre-recorded sim, maybe bringing community events to the ISFL, and even Twitch aspects of the sim. If they are pre recorded you can use OBS studios to have the sim play and be streamed to Twitch. And do a Twitch point system once you get the ISFL Twitch up and running and get the right amount of views and followers, and people would subscribe to the Twitch channel, you can get revenue coming in. And so that would help everyone.


805 Words

[Hordle]

9) Y’all ready for this? I’m about to put down the GEOGUSSEY SUPREME LINE! Or I’m just gonna throw a bunch of my friends on a team. Cause that’s what it’s all about. I will be doing my best to do a full team no bots. As well as taking some liberties with position swaps. Such as CB to Safety.

Offense:
QB) Ryan Negs, Jay Cue (boo me all you want)

RB) Joseph PeTrognollo, Raphtellia Chan

WR) Luca Scabbi, Michael Witheblock, Mario Messi

OL) Marlon Alexander, Alexander Franklin, Simon Trembly, Felix Archstone, Conor Quigley

TE) Frank Mitchell, Borgo San Lorenzo

Defense:

DT) Chuck Roth, Honky-Tonk Hawood

DE) Earnest Lover, Demon Jaxson

LB) Gary Goodman, Juan Domine, Jimi Desonta, Xavier Walls

CB) Doy Fieri, Peter Patterson, Harrison Andrews, Albert Ruschmann

FS) Bob Roberts, Tayshawn Crunk

SS) Maverick Bowie, Tony Yeboah

Special Teams:

P) Karmichael Hunt (I don’t care if you switched >.>)

K) Sam Sidekick.

LOOK AT THIS TEAM! I MEAN LOOK AT IT. Everyone’s been hand picked because they’re either my friend, or I like them. Each position has at least two spots besides my kicker and punter mostly because I just didn’t think it was needed. Now I’ll write some blurbs about the positions and why I chose the people I did.

Starting with Quarterback. Yes Jay Cue is technically an offensive lineman now. But like I said, I’m taking liberties. He will be my starting QB for a few seasons before I take him out back and Ryan Negs takes over. I think Cue is both a great user and player. Setting him up in the mentor position to help Negs learn before he takes over the team. With that I chose Negs cause he’s a young QB and he’s my buddy.

Moving onto running back, Mister Joe Joe What a Fish and Frost Suks Lamo. I like both of these users. Joes a troll and Frost is Frost. But others can put up numbers and I believe in both of them to be able to slot in behind this massive offensive line that I build. Besides, I couldn’t take Frost’s co without taking him.

Into the wide receiver group. Luca is a goddamn good receiver and I like Engi even if they hate me. Michael Witheblock is Frost’s Co and I like Sarko a lot. They seem like a great user and post fish facts. And last with Mario Messi to round off the group as the youngest member. Hoping to learn from the two before him and eventually take wide receiver one.

Offensive line, the best line. THIS LINE IS THICCCCCCCCCCCC. Marlon Alexander (The London Legend), Alexander Franklin, Simon Trembly, Felix Archstone and Conor Quigley (QUIGGGS) are my guys up front. This line is absolutely stacked and will bust open holes everyday.

Tight Ends. Boro San Lorenzo (aka Agent Smith) is a cool user in the SHL and a teammate of mine now. Frank Mitchell is the fucking LEGEND known as Deadlyplayer. A must have on this team. Both will bring great honor.

Now we’re gonna head to the other side of the field. Starting with defensive tackles.

Chucky Roth! There’s no way I’m not taking my CO and one of my closest friends in the league. Chucky T Roth will be leading my defensive charge against the opposing line. Honky-Tonk isn’t someone I know personally. But he’s on the Liberty and I’ve heard nothing but good things about him.

Defensive Ends are next on our list. Earnest Lover is a team leader easily, super intelligent and a kind person to be around. Best name in the league and a great addition to any team. And then there’s Demon Jaxson. AKA LB. I like LB, even if he’s a giant troll. That’s why he’s here.

Linebackers, can’t have a 3-4 without beef in the back. Gary Goodman is my GM’s player. Gotta have him regardless so I don’t get benched. Then we’ve got Juan Domine who I very much enjoy talking to as a user. Jimi, who I’ve really just started talking to recently but very much enjoy. And rounding out the group will be Xavier Walls. Currently listed as a DE will be switching back to LB. Great, young guy who will lead the group in the future.

Corners! Doy Fiere, my other GM. Peter Patterson, very intelligent and safe pick. Harrison Andrews, also intelligent and safe pick. Albert Ruschmann, need the Geoguessr god and all around great person.

Safeties!  Bob Robets and Tayshawn Crunk at Free Safety. Both great users and current GM’s. Maverick Bowie and Tony Yeboah as my Strong safeties.

Kicker/Punter, Karmichael Hunt. I don’t care if you switched. You’re punting for me. And Sam Sidekick, cause everyone should love Ebok.

11) The People are what keeps me interested. A big reason why I left Chicago is just cause I didn’t feel connected there (mostly my own fault). I wanted to try and experience something new and exciting and that’s mostly why I landed in Philly. Having people like Pat and Cody, who are great gm’s in my opinion, who are close friends in real life brings a kind of excitement and freshness to a team that I feel is very important. Joining Philly allowed me to reconnect with my buddy Negs as well as meet people like, WFM, Jimi and Joey. So far my limited time in Philly has been great for my interest in the league and I look forward to seeing it increase as time goes on.

But that’s not the only group that’s kept me interested. People like Southpaw, zEagle, and everyone in Portland. The transition into becoming the GM has been smoother than I expected. At least with the point of connecting with my players and talking to them about what they want.
zEagle is probably one of, if not, my best friends in the league. I’ve been talking to him and joking around since a few days after I joined. He’s a big reason that I even knew half of anything was going on in the league a lot of the time.

South was one of the people who expressed that he saw potential in me early. He would message me every week or so and see how I was doing and if I was figuring things out alright. After joining the Portland Warroom, he expressed to me his interest in getting me involved and possibly leading the team as a GM someday. Didn’t think it’d happen so soon to be honest.
And then you have the people that I haven’t had the pleasure of being on a team with. People like Katarn, Swanty, Mojojojo, Slate, ABH, Mag, Simo, Crunk, Zayn, Plat, Deadly and many others, who have made my time in the league something to cherish. Rather it be playing geogusser or pokemon with them. They’ve all been a joy to know.

Mag was one of the people who helped me figure things out in the league when I first joined. Showing me where things were and how to do them if I didn’t understand. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would be IA by now.

Also Blorgly, one of the younger members of the league. Who has joined me in working on a new project that some people around the league might know about. He’s been a huge help with keeping things flowing smoothly while I focused, or had a lack of focus, on other bigger pieces of that project.

If it wasn’t for the friends that I made here, then I probably wouldn’t be here now. Winning is cool but it’s never been high on my priority list. It’s just something that I think would be cool to do with the friends that I’ve made.

[Gragg9]

2) Tell us about your draft class. Is there anything that makes it special in comparison to other classes? Where did your fellow draftees land, how are they doing? Did anyone turn out to be an unexpected steal of that draft based on what you know today? Do you think anyone in your draft class will become a hall of famer? If you’re new to the league, how do you think your class will do? Where do you think people will get drafted to? (long form 800+ words)

I’d like to think that by now I’m fairly qualified to answer this prompt. I’ve spent a bit too much time stalking various members of my class but hey, I like data. I know this particular class was smaller than many hoped but it has a high rate of active users and earners. I don’t have the numbers from previous classes but I do think the retention rate is higher than normal at this point, and certainly the max earning rate is. Because of this it’s hard to pinpoint ever ‘steal’ or even future hall of famers. There are a few shoutouts worth giving though.

@CLG Rampage

First off is recreate user CLG Rampage who was one of the few vets drafted by the Grey Ducks this season. They’ve taught me a lot about the league and how it works in preparation for what was supposed to be a mega mock draft article. Unfortunately for...reasons….that didn’t quite materialize but I know I at least had a lot of fun working with them. I’m really curious to see what happens with this players careers but they’re certain to make an impact wherever they land.

@firstfray
I haven’t talked as much with this user as others on this pingspam list, but they’re definitely one of the users in this class to watch. They’re one of the class’ top true rookie earners and seem to be figuring out the league quite quickly. They’re also just easy to talk to and very helpful (especially regarding mock draft intel). From a glance they may be the richest true rookie as well?

@xtitanxmvpx

Another user that I got to know over the course of stalking making the mock draft. It’s great to have someone like TItan and others to bounce ideas off of and talk about the league with. I’m fortunate my media exploits have taken me outside the locker room to get acquainted with some of the other members of the class. One of many players that I hope to end up on a team with someday.

@Pib

Haven’t got to talk to Pib as much but this guys got brains and they’re active in putting them to use for the league and their team. Of course I can’t talk about Pib without reminding everyone that I mocked them to London in the DSFL draft. By now I’m sure nobody cares but still. Anyway, keep an eye on this user to be achieving on and off the field.

@Painted

It’s not secret that Painted (and Shrub, we’ll get to him) and I get along great. I was lucky to be drafted in such an awesome Minnesota class. I think all three of us drove each other to get more into the league and more into the team as time went on. Painted himself is a bully,  killed me once in the server rpg, makes fun of my stats, and steals my pokemon. That’s it, that’s the writeup

@shrub02

Shrub on the other hand is more chill. If we’re talking steal of the draft Bender Rodriguez has to be in the conversation as the top S28 TE. They also put out some great media including a real interesting look at WRs in the new sim (a must read for GMs) and the pokemon article that got a lot of deserved attention.

Whole damn Minny draft class

I’m probably biased since I’ve been around one season but this has been an amazing draft class to be apart of. I like everyone that I’ve talked to in the LR. Energy on game day and during awards shows is great. Even in a dot football land we’ve managed to get a team that plays/earns for each other.

S28 DSFL awards committee

Probably the other significant place I interacted with rookies in my class was on my time in the awards committee. We argued the heck outta those nominations but I think it was a fun process where we respected each other and I think put together some real good ballots. Hoping to get more chances to hang with Chunt, Sebster, z0rem, and the others in the future (whole team was good, those are just the S28 folks).


With my last 100 or so words I want to venture a few predictions for who the steals of the ISFL draft (tomorrow at time of writing) will be. Exilate (Lonnie Jackson) sure has the makings of a future starting RB that looks to be taken in the 3rd or even 4th round and would absolutely be a steal. Sebster (Willie Miller) will likely also be driven later into the draft by a low TPE and position saturation. I have faith that the TPE will work itself out but Sebster is very active and seems interested in getting involved around the league. Could be an absolute steal.  Finally there’s Mango (Daniel O’Leary). Only real question here is if they fall far enough down the draft to count as a steal. They’re yet another Minnesota user whose activity has been increasing lately. They’ve started pumping out more media so I’m eager to see where they end up a season or two from now.

[snazzlepuss22]

Tier 2, task 10:

The New York Silverbacks journey in season 27 started a bit rocky. Dropping all 4 of our preseason games was a but of a scary start. What made it even worse was that we never scored more than 13 points and our opponents scored at least 30 three out of four times. This was not a great sign seeing as the previous season we managed to make it to the playoffs despite everyone thinking we wouldn't be fielding a decent product for at least another couple of seasons, But being such a young club, you would have to expect to come back down to earth a little bit after having a really nice second season like that. 

So the preseason was a bit rocky, but for the next 3 weeks it was looking like we were fielding a superior product yet again. Having secured wins against the New orleans second line, the orange county otters and the Austin copperheads in weeks one, two and three it was looking like we might have a shot at making the playoffs again. Our defense was on fire, Brick was getting at least a sack every game and it felt like everyone else also got to get one every game too. It was like we were just taking turns to make sure everyone got a chance to hit the QB. 

After week 3 is when we came back down to reality, we dropped 3 games in a row. Our offense struggled and our defense couldn't do enough to win games anymore. We were even blown out in week 5. But we were still hopeful "Sim gonna sim". We won back to back games weeks 7 and 8 and it was looking like we had a good chance to stay in this thing, after dropping a game in week 9 we won 2 more games in weeks 10 and 11. All we needed to do was win a couple more games and we would be in the playoffs. With our offense putting it together and looking pretty good and our smothering defense we really thought we had a good chance but then the bad times came. We lost every single game after week 11, never able to score more than 14 points. The defenses production slowed and came back down to earth and our team just couldn't do enough to hang onto playoff hopes. 

Next year I expect our defense to be younger but hopefully just as productive and I expect our offense to just keep getting better. I believe we will make the playoffs this season and I believe we will be poised to make a deep playoff run in the following season after that. 

Tier 2, task 11:

There are a plethora of things that keep me interested in this league. To start with, it was the idea that I could have the closest thing to a professional football experience I could have given my age, I tried playing football in elementary and didn't really care about it at all. I actually started to like football when I was 18 and at the point it was a bit too late to go back and learn enough and get enough experience to actually play college football. So I enjoyed the prospect of creating my own player and having them thrive in a league. The process of creation was very confusing and I believe there could be a much more concise guide, explaining the best ways to earn TPE and keeping your player updated so more dedicated rookies can get into the swing of things faster. It took me nearly half a season to fully understand everything and once I did felt that I was behind my draft class and ended up going lower than I would have liked. 

But besides that, Everything really started to get exciting during the prospect bowl, watching that little dot with my number and my name pop up for tackles was an awesome feeling. Not to mention the immediate comradery with my fellow landsharks, instantly you would go from strangers to teammates to friends. This type of friendship tends to last throughout the league, I still see fellow landsharks and chuckle at how little I knew when we started. Continuing the excitement was when I started getting scouted for the DSFL, it was just so funny that all of a sudden I'd be drinking with buddies and be like "Oh shit I gotta take this I'm being scouted" and most of the time they look at you like you're insane or a total nerd but man doe's it feel good to work at something. Then I got drafted by the Grey Ducks and found out what its like to be in your first locker room. Albeit a bit of a crazy bath salts ridden choccy milk nightmare of a locker room(still love you guys), you grow to love your teammates and root for your team above all. I still love the grey ducks today. Everything was so exciting then, learning the ropes and how to update your player to be a problem for opposing QBS on the field, watching stats go up and comparing yourselfs to others. 

Then I got scouted and drafted for the ISFL and everything just amplified. The teammates connections, the emotions, the stats. I love all of it. I even got nominated for an award this past season and hearing people speak about my player just got me charged, love to know that my dude effected people enough to actually get mentioned on a stream. Its just all so damn cool and I really look forward to being around as long as possible. My career is only just now taking off and I'm excited about what other positions I might play and what places I may find myself in the future. 

I love this league.

[Cheech65]

11) To be honest, I keep interested in the league for multiple reasons. First, I love football as a sport, and I'm very competitive. I joined this league once my real-life athletics were cancelled due to the COVID pandemic. Developing as an athlete, even one that really doesn't exist beyond a circle with the number 77 in it, was something I really enjoyed. Tuning in every other day to watch not only myself but the competition was an exciting part of my schedule. Seeing the work I was doing paying off (even though its ultimately not that much), was so much fun to see. On top of that, I've been blessed to work in not one, but 2 fantastic locker rooms. The communities have been great to me not only because I've been a part of them, but I've also helped to build and cultivate them. I've made friends and no enemies, so I've been doing something right. The energy in the locker room after a win is just as energetic as it gets in an offline atmosphere. Who could have guessed that dot football could bring people together so effectively?
Another major facet of the ISFL that I love is the media. Writing articles and designing graphics allows me to engage with myself creatively and often analytically. Having a space to be creative outside of an education institution is a fantastic opportunity that I love having. Plus, people's reaction and criticism of my work is more than welcome and is very appreciated. Steel sharpens steel, as they say. Plus, the opportunities I've had where people ask me to make them graphics because they like the work I do is so very validating, and I really cannot express how much it means that total strangers can appreciate the things that I've made.
Moreover, I also really like the gaming community that branches off of the league. And no, I don't mean Warzone. I'm talking about the Uno League, Werewolf games, Fake Survivor, Diplomacy, etc. Not only does the ISFL bring people together over a love of the game of football, it also acts as an in-between for people with all kinds of hobbies, likes, wants, desires. Playing in the ISFL has exposed me to new people and new experiences outside of its forums. Despite the grind of making money to buy equipment, there is always people to talk to and fun to be had. That's why I keep on coming back every single day.

21) I think that the best branding in the league is probably that of the Sarasota Sailfish. First, the alliteration is perfect. Second, the mascot is appropriate for the city, which itself is a popular sport fishing location. Though sailfish are not the most popular catch in Sarasota's waters, they can certainly be found in Florida's waters. Third, the color scheme is fantastic. The light green and blue contrast well, as do the navy blue and white. Together they make a compelling logo, and even more compelling uniform designs. On the other hand, I think that the Baltimore Hawks may have the worst branding. Not because of the name, which I think is totally fine. But their logo and it's color scheme have me concerned. The logo itself doesn't really scream hawk to me. When I imagine a hawk, I imagine a viscous bird with massive talons and large, beady eyes. This logo really has neither. And I know it's been said time and time again, but the random streak of red doesn't really fit. I think a redesign of the logo to include a full bird, talons out, with piercing eyes would better serve their name. And on top of that, make it red tailed, that way the tertiary red color can be incorporated. If the bird is yellow still, that's fine. I think changing the accent color to a chestnut brown rather than a black would also better serve their look.

29) I don't know if this would translate all that well as an award, but I think that forum-related stats or awards could be an interesting addition. Showing a Top 10 in TPE earnings for the season, Top 5 in correct predictions, Top Media Producers, and other similar categories could be interesting. Since so few players can actually receive a nomination, let alone a vote on their ballots, engaging with users more directly could be a beneficial addition to the awards show, which I imagine gets less eyes on it than normal games or even drafts. These don't even need to be official awards, but I think the entire point of an awards show is to give out recognition for the work people put into the league and their character, and by providing people with these broader recognitions would only be for the better. Even if the people being recognized for their work off the field are the same as those who receive accolades for their work on the field, it makes little difference because they would clearly deserve it. I also think that recognizing people's achievements in this objective and quantifiable way would circumvent the regular controversy that clouds the voting and awarding processes.