Alrighty, while everyone else focuses on these upcoming playoffs, the Ultimus, and the kolbe bet, I'm gonna write an article detailing how I think the next season is going to play out. Hot takes? Serving them up by the dozen, thank you very much.
Winners and Losers of the Offseason
First up, let's look at how free agency is gonna play out this offseason and rank the teams.
Winner: Colorado Yeti
The winners of this upcoming free agency are going to be the Yeti. They traded away some hefty contracts earlier this season and acquired a bit of cap space, so it's gonna be fun to see how they rebuild their team.
I think the Yeti will be the ones who acquire Mike Boss. I honestly do. I believe they will offer @JBLAZE_THE_BOSS a tantalizing contract that he can't refuse to start rebuilding a broken team that has a solid starting base for their defense and a decent running game but a team that needs a QB and a leader for their offense. The agent already has a successful team to QB in the Elite Football League, so I can't see why he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to bring a team back from the brink of demolition just to say he did.
I also think that with this offseason comes the ability to get an even better offensive line, more to come on that later. And if they get lucky, they may be able to draft MVP candidate Shawn Ariel from the DSFL and have a dangerous two back running game.
Loser: Las Vegas Legion
After the handing down of a TOUGH punishment for violating the salary cap, the Legion are in serious danger of missing out on the biggest free agency this league may ever see. With players like Mike Boss, a possible answer to their QB situation, having to be passed up on, the Legion will either have to stick with Josh Bercovici, human asswipe, or a QB they draft from the DSFL, which doesn't look promising either, as most DSFL QBs are players sent down from the NSFL teams. Overall, the Legion's future doesn't look bright.
But wait, at least they have the 1st overall pick- oh yeah they traded that away. Well maybe it at least went to a team that needed it and can contend with the Outlaws- oh fuck it went TO the Outlaws? Shit.
Now to take a look at who the top player at each position will be:
QB: Mike Boss
Mike Boss, as stated above, is a special talent. I believe that even if he signs with the Yeti, he will still be able to be the top passer in the league, as @TheMemeMaestro and @Daybe are certainly planning to add some receiving threats, so watch out for Mike Boss again.
RB: Erlich Burnsman
Here's a hot take: the number one RB in the league next year will be Erlich Burnsman. This S3 rookie will take over the reigns from a terribly underwhelming Leroy Jenkins, and with Mike Boss gone, he will become the main backfield threat for the Otters. Expect to see this young man taking nearly every touch for the Otters next year, as Jiggly has finally seemed to move out of the way to let @Molarpistols and @Roshambo take over at GM, and they will certainly be letting their young buck run rampant over the ASFC (except the Outlaws, cause, you know.)
WR: Trey Willie
Sure there may be a little bit of bias here, but Trey has really burst onto the scene this year. He's basically a shoe-in for ORotY, and he was essentially the Hawks number one option as Christmas was inactive, and Matthew Vincent retired before the season started. They have an inactive running back, and they have to rely on the passing game, so expect Willie to REALLY come into his own next season.
TE: Paul Dimirio
There's not really a competition here, ever since Ricky Maddox moved to DE, Dimirio has been the best Tight End in the league. Next.
OL: Eli Kamaka
Being an OL is all about attention to detail, which Eli Kamaka definitely has. He can point out anything wrong with your article if you forget something and make you feel horrible about it.
DT: Dan Miller
This man is absolutely a beast, making @manicmav36's prestigious list 13 weeks this season, and he shows no signs of slowing down. This man is a beast that absolutely GOBBLES offensive linemen, and I can't see anyone surpassing him next season.
DE: Jayce Tuck
Nothing to say here, moving on.
LB: Logan Noble
Ok, big hot take. I believe that next season, Logan Noble is going to position change to a linebacker. With his intelligence and his steroid using past, he could be a great hard-hitting coverage linebacker. Why else would they have moved Brice Boggs to safety? It all makes sense now. Just mark my words on this one.
DB: Tyler Oles
Probably my favorite defensive back in the league, Oles is silently voracious. Preying on unsuspecting QBs and facing easier QBing next year, Oles is all set to make a run at DPotY.
K/P: Iyah Blewitt
He's really the only person I can think of at the moment, oh well.
Finally, let's take a look at the standings and the playoffs:
NSFC:
1. Baltimore Hawks
S3: 9-5
S4: 10-4
Anyone who says this won't be the case is either in the NSFC or lying to themselves. The Hawks are going to be the NSFC powerhouse for years to come, even without my bias towards them, they are the number one team.
2. Philadelphia Liberty
S3: 8-5-1
S4: 8-6
The Liberty were good this year, but I don't see it holding up, they just don't have enough weapons next season, and with the Hawks and Yeti in their conference, barely over .500 is generous for them.
3. Colorado Yeti
S3: 3-11
S4: 6-7-1
With the addition of Mike Boss at QB and Logan Noble as the greatest LB the league has ever seen, as well as Shawn Ariel and Boss Tweed eating up defenses, the Yeti could easily swing back up to 6-7-1 or even .500, but they will tie a game with the Otters in OCO, just missing the playoffs.
4. Yellowknife Wraiths
S3: 7-7
S4: 4-10
After everything that happened to the Wraiths this season, .500 was a gift. With some major moves they may be able to be contenders again, but I don't see it, and I believe they won't be as good as even the Yeti.
With the Yeti moving out of a laughingstock position, the NSFC has strong competition and I expect it to be great next season to watch.
Now, let's move on to the ASFC:
1. Arizona Outlaws
S3: 13-1
S4: 12-2
Next season as other teams become better, I believe the Outlaws may find a way to somehow lose two games. This is predicated on the Hawks not actually shitting the bed at home next season against them and another hot take: They will lose to the Legion in Arizona. Hot takes coming out here one by one.
2. Orange County Otters
S3: 8-6
S4: 8-5-1
With Boss leaving, the Locker Room mood in S4 is a very losing record-y one. But then, speedster Erlich Burnsman comes along to save the day. He lets the Otters stay in an 8-6 record state of mind while letting newly acquired Christian Adams keep learning the position of QB as a starter in the NSFL, and somehow surviving at 8-5-1. Oh yeah, the tie is that Yeti thing I talked about.
3. San Jose Sabercats
S3: 5-8-1
S4: 6-8
In the midst of a conference with the Gods of the league and the Jokes of the league, the Sabercats are a very forgettable team... so I forget what I was gonna say about them, I'm sure it was about how they're a decent team in a good conference or something.
4. Las Vegas Legion
S3: 2-12
S4: 1-13
They will go winless but beat the Outlaws away in week 14. Quote me.
1343 Words, ready for grading
GRADED
Winners and Losers of the Offseason
First up, let's look at how free agency is gonna play out this offseason and rank the teams.
Winner: Colorado Yeti
The winners of this upcoming free agency are going to be the Yeti. They traded away some hefty contracts earlier this season and acquired a bit of cap space, so it's gonna be fun to see how they rebuild their team.
I think the Yeti will be the ones who acquire Mike Boss. I honestly do. I believe they will offer @JBLAZE_THE_BOSS a tantalizing contract that he can't refuse to start rebuilding a broken team that has a solid starting base for their defense and a decent running game but a team that needs a QB and a leader for their offense. The agent already has a successful team to QB in the Elite Football League, so I can't see why he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to bring a team back from the brink of demolition just to say he did.
I also think that with this offseason comes the ability to get an even better offensive line, more to come on that later. And if they get lucky, they may be able to draft MVP candidate Shawn Ariel from the DSFL and have a dangerous two back running game.
Loser: Las Vegas Legion
After the handing down of a TOUGH punishment for violating the salary cap, the Legion are in serious danger of missing out on the biggest free agency this league may ever see. With players like Mike Boss, a possible answer to their QB situation, having to be passed up on, the Legion will either have to stick with Josh Bercovici, human asswipe, or a QB they draft from the DSFL, which doesn't look promising either, as most DSFL QBs are players sent down from the NSFL teams. Overall, the Legion's future doesn't look bright.
But wait, at least they have the 1st overall pick- oh yeah they traded that away. Well maybe it at least went to a team that needed it and can contend with the Outlaws- oh fuck it went TO the Outlaws? Shit.
Now to take a look at who the top player at each position will be:
QB: Mike Boss
Mike Boss, as stated above, is a special talent. I believe that even if he signs with the Yeti, he will still be able to be the top passer in the league, as @TheMemeMaestro and @Daybe are certainly planning to add some receiving threats, so watch out for Mike Boss again.
RB: Erlich Burnsman
Here's a hot take: the number one RB in the league next year will be Erlich Burnsman. This S3 rookie will take over the reigns from a terribly underwhelming Leroy Jenkins, and with Mike Boss gone, he will become the main backfield threat for the Otters. Expect to see this young man taking nearly every touch for the Otters next year, as Jiggly has finally seemed to move out of the way to let @Molarpistols and @Roshambo take over at GM, and they will certainly be letting their young buck run rampant over the ASFC (except the Outlaws, cause, you know.)
WR: Trey Willie
Sure there may be a little bit of bias here, but Trey has really burst onto the scene this year. He's basically a shoe-in for ORotY, and he was essentially the Hawks number one option as Christmas was inactive, and Matthew Vincent retired before the season started. They have an inactive running back, and they have to rely on the passing game, so expect Willie to REALLY come into his own next season.
TE: Paul Dimirio
There's not really a competition here, ever since Ricky Maddox moved to DE, Dimirio has been the best Tight End in the league. Next.
OL: Eli Kamaka
Being an OL is all about attention to detail, which Eli Kamaka definitely has. He can point out anything wrong with your article if you forget something and make you feel horrible about it.
DT: Dan Miller
This man is absolutely a beast, making @manicmav36's prestigious list 13 weeks this season, and he shows no signs of slowing down. This man is a beast that absolutely GOBBLES offensive linemen, and I can't see anyone surpassing him next season.
DE: Jayce Tuck
Nothing to say here, moving on.
LB: Logan Noble
Ok, big hot take. I believe that next season, Logan Noble is going to position change to a linebacker. With his intelligence and his steroid using past, he could be a great hard-hitting coverage linebacker. Why else would they have moved Brice Boggs to safety? It all makes sense now. Just mark my words on this one.
DB: Tyler Oles
Probably my favorite defensive back in the league, Oles is silently voracious. Preying on unsuspecting QBs and facing easier QBing next year, Oles is all set to make a run at DPotY.
K/P: Iyah Blewitt
He's really the only person I can think of at the moment, oh well.
Finally, let's take a look at the standings and the playoffs:
NSFC:
1. Baltimore Hawks
S3: 9-5
S4: 10-4
Anyone who says this won't be the case is either in the NSFC or lying to themselves. The Hawks are going to be the NSFC powerhouse for years to come, even without my bias towards them, they are the number one team.
2. Philadelphia Liberty
S3: 8-5-1
S4: 8-6
The Liberty were good this year, but I don't see it holding up, they just don't have enough weapons next season, and with the Hawks and Yeti in their conference, barely over .500 is generous for them.
3. Colorado Yeti
S3: 3-11
S4: 6-7-1
With the addition of Mike Boss at QB and Logan Noble as the greatest LB the league has ever seen, as well as Shawn Ariel and Boss Tweed eating up defenses, the Yeti could easily swing back up to 6-7-1 or even .500, but they will tie a game with the Otters in OCO, just missing the playoffs.
4. Yellowknife Wraiths
S3: 7-7
S4: 4-10
After everything that happened to the Wraiths this season, .500 was a gift. With some major moves they may be able to be contenders again, but I don't see it, and I believe they won't be as good as even the Yeti.
With the Yeti moving out of a laughingstock position, the NSFC has strong competition and I expect it to be great next season to watch.
Now, let's move on to the ASFC:
1. Arizona Outlaws
S3: 13-1
S4: 12-2
Next season as other teams become better, I believe the Outlaws may find a way to somehow lose two games. This is predicated on the Hawks not actually shitting the bed at home next season against them and another hot take: They will lose to the Legion in Arizona. Hot takes coming out here one by one.
2. Orange County Otters
S3: 8-6
S4: 8-5-1
With Boss leaving, the Locker Room mood in S4 is a very losing record-y one. But then, speedster Erlich Burnsman comes along to save the day. He lets the Otters stay in an 8-6 record state of mind while letting newly acquired Christian Adams keep learning the position of QB as a starter in the NSFL, and somehow surviving at 8-5-1. Oh yeah, the tie is that Yeti thing I talked about.
3. San Jose Sabercats
S3: 5-8-1
S4: 6-8
In the midst of a conference with the Gods of the league and the Jokes of the league, the Sabercats are a very forgettable team... so I forget what I was gonna say about them, I'm sure it was about how they're a decent team in a good conference or something.
4. Las Vegas Legion
S3: 2-12
S4: 1-13
They will go winless but beat the Outlaws away in week 14. Quote me.
1343 Words, ready for grading
GRADED
[center][img src="https://i.imgur.com/8TovWce.png "width="450"]
[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:Red; color:black; font-family:Times; font-size: 15px; width: 260px; "][br][OPTION]|| Chase Osborn || RB || S17 Draftee ||
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[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:Red; color:black; font-family:Times; font-size: 15px; width: 260px; "][br][OPTION]|| Chase Osborn || RB || S17 Draftee ||
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![[Image: XSfVUgo.png]](https://i.imgur.com/XSfVUgo.png)
Jurisprudence Jones, OL ![[Image: cYhSwFY.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cYhSwFY.png)
![[Image: tumblr_o094gl3WLD1r9pt1so1_500.gif]](https://49.media.tumblr.com/17e34ec2b8d5b13cc38e8145ac064dfc/tumblr_o094gl3WLD1r9pt1so1_500.gif)
![[Image: Kawai_Bartok-01.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/896232509690490880/906254243231572060/Kawai_Bartok-01.png)
