06-25-2019, 06:49 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-27-2019, 11:06 AM by Fordhammer.)
[This is part 1 of another draft focused piece of media so x2 it and it is ready for grading. It is roughly 2590 words long. Hope you enjoy!]
Once again a very small interviewing stage is set up with two black and comfy chairs, seems they improved the set this time. Eventually the interviewer takes his seat in the left one so he can introduce who he will be interviewing this time around.
The Interviewer: Ah, well hello there! Thank you all for joining me in another interview. This time around we will be getting to know about one of the draftees' opinions on the whole draft and the teams he may end up on and perhaps some others questions including some of your own on twitter!
Please welcome my guest at this time, none other than the Hungarian Laszlo Forty-Two!
Eventually after a bit of an awkwardly time pause of nothing happening a huge brute of a man who looks very serious walks out. For some weird reason he is in a lot of T-shirts as well. He walks up closely to the TV and shows the shirt he is wearing that says “Draft me please” on it in comic sans but the please is in huge papyrus. Talk about selling out in the weirdest fonts.
He pauses for a few seconds before doing the most Hulk Hogan thing ever and grabbing all 3 shirts and ripping them a part at the front to reveal his Tijuana Luchadore jersey. He then sits down and just gives a nod.
The Interviewer: Err...I was told you were to split them one at a time not all threw shirts at once to reveal a message?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Nope. No, No, No. Laszlo does not have the time for such terrible gimmicks. Is much more impressive if he destroy cloth all at same time. Time is money after all.
The Interviewer: But if anything that extends the length of this segment so you would get even more money and be able to send the National Simulation Football League General Managers a message that you want to be drafted high
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two can easily just state the Laz wants to go high. No-one care about message on shirts. Laszlo destroy shirts hopes and dreams just like he will against any team in the National Simulation Football League team who does not draft him! Is more powerful message!
The Interviewer: I see, I see. Well, without further a do it is time to welcome you Mr. Laszlo Forty-Two for another interview! You seem to be on a role right now before the draft with the media.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Yes he is. Laszlo feel it important to stand out and if he cannot stand out Laszlo feel abusing getting into everyone's face until they get sick and tired of seeing Laszlo! General Managers will know Mr. Forty-Two exist and they should take him!
The Interviewer: Well, let us get started with getting to know you a bit then. Tell me about yourself!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo confused as to why National Simulation Football League General Managers cannot just ask or check Laszlo's Wikipedia page for more details of him. Would be a lot easier and give me more time to train instead.
The Interviewer: Well, help the people who are lazy then instead.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Very well. Laszlo born in glorious city of Budapest in Hungary. The Laz grow up in Hungary until he is 9 years old. His parents then move to country with United States to create America. They move there to join cult. Laszlo join cult as one of the chosen few by our lord. He gain the number Forty-Two. Laszlo change last name to his special number in order to help sell merchandise such as the jersey he is wearing right now which is available on the Tijuana Luchadores' website with current 20% off deal when you use the code '42CrushPunyPeople'
Is much easier to sell out with number than crazy Hungarian last name.
The Interviewer: But this cult was not people who exactly sacrifice goats or murder people or act like the crazy people in the Westboro Bapist Church, right?
Laszlo Forty-Two: That is correct. We just have different beliefs. As Laszlo was saying though, we move to West Virginia. There he crush American youth in most sports. Eventually decide catching object and crushing defending opponent was most fun whilst being the best paid and now Laszlo Forty-Two is in Development Simulation Football League about to join National Simulation Football League soon.
The Interviewer: What were you like as a child? How did you turn into the man that you are today?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two is confused by terrible question. Mr. Forty-Two always been like this, even as beautiful child. Laszlo play in youth world cup for Association Football for Hungary. He crush small children with no mercy, end up top scorer in tournament but decide this sport pays more. Also people dive and act like sissys. Laszlo want to fight men.
The Interviewer: So that is how you became a Gridiron football player huh?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It is indeed. Laszlo now here to crush people, get number Forty-Two retired for whatever team drafts him, make good money and win trophies to take back to my cult temple to show off Laszlo's great and beautiful accomplishments!
The Interviewer: You really do not have small goals do you?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Only puny people have puny goals. Laszlo Forty-Two no like puny people. Even the puniest person in draft who will go last can become great player if they work hard enough. They will fail to compare against Mr. Forty-Two but will gain his respect.
The Interviewer: This probably was very obvious for everyone who pays attention to you now and I probably should have opened with this but you apparently always talk about yourself in the third person and with a deep serious tone. Why is that exactly?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz is of the opinion everyone else who talks in the other persons is in fact the weird one. Laszlo Forty-Two no understand why people talk like that but respect every person is in fact different.
To answer your question about why. That is simple. When Laszlo come to States that are United to create America, he not have the greatest understanding of the English language. Mr. Forty-Two know basic 'Hello', how to count to the number Forty Two and how to ask where the nearest toilet was but past that and perhaps some other odd ball words he not know anything!
Laszlo Forty-Two watch television. He watch the old World Wrestling Entertainment back when it was called World Wrestling Federation before giant panda hit Vince McMahon with steel chair and force to change company name! He watch Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. He was so confident, so strong, so agile. He talk in third person. Laszlo Forty-Two just pick it up. Now Laszlo Forty-Two is as cool as The Rock before he went to Hollywood to become tooth fairy.
The Interviewer: You realise that whilst he looked cool on TV that the wrestling was fake and predetermined, right?
Laszlo Forty-Two: So is the pornography that you watch alone whilst crying in bed afterwards due to how alone you are. So are all the television shows you enjoy before terribly written ending hits you with depression. Tell Laszlo. If Laszlo grab you, turn you upside down and piledrive you onto concrete thus crushing and snapping spinal cord like pathetic twig, will that be fake?
The Interviewer: Err...I-I do not think it would be no! L-let's not find out!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Then do not ask Mr. Forty-Two terrible questions.
The Interviewer: Very well I guess! I will move swiftly onwards!
So now that they know who you are and what goals you have in store for the big leagues, let us talk about your opinion on every team you have the ability to join. Well, if you so wish to join every team that could get you at least.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Just get on with it. Laszlo have much to say about teams.
The Interviewer: Okay, well we will be doing the NSFC teams first and the first team we will talk about is the current reigning champions of the whole National Simulation Football League, the Baltimore Hawks!
Recent media has them apparently needing a wide receiver more than anything to improve the winning team to make them a dynasty. Whilst they would have a low pick, what is your opinion on joining them?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Ah, the yellow chicken team. Laszlo wish to personally congratulate every person involved with the team for winning this past season. Laszlo not catch much of the big league fixtures this season due to training and other conflicting time schedules but when Mr. Forty-Two pop on the television he notice how well they play. Definitely one of the more fun teams to watch and if for some reason they moved upwards or every National Simulation Football League team General Manager lose all sanity and do not draft Laszlo high. Laszlo Forty-Two would be honoured to destroy rest of league with them and create a dynasty!
The Interviewer: Do you have any opinion on the location?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo never go to Baltimore. Believe it is in the state which has the land named after Mary. The Laz likes the name Mary so Laszlo assumes place is great location. He can definitely see himself helping them become a dynasty in the National Simulation Football League. Also, Laszlo assumes place has a lot of mansions he could buy as home to go with temple in West Virginia and mansion in Tijuana. So that would be a nice bonus.
The Interviewer: Will you be asking for a big contract or something?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No. Laszlo does not spend money on stupid stuff like other players seem to do. He will purchase lovely place for himself and fellow cultists and live good life in lovely house.
The Interviewer: Ah, well that sound just lovely. I think. Well, moving onto the next team we have none other than one of the expansion teams, the Chicago Butchers. Recent media had them not really needing to focus on the wide receiver position but would you play for them as well?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two loves his steaks and other meats. Very glad the butcher industry has become so successful they could buy a whole National Simulation Football League team. Laszlo like the picks they did in the expansion draft for them and the Copperheads but we will get to them soon. Laszlo feels they can be a good team and evolve into great team with a good draft. Laszlo would happily go play in the state of Illinois. Laszlo Forty-Two can see himself being the Michael Jordan of Gridiron football.
Only exception would be Laszlo would not need the looney toons to crush the Monstars without mercy and without cartoons helping. Bill Murray is welcome to come help though if he feels like it.
The Interviewer: So I guess playing for an expansion team is not an issue for you either?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No, none at all. If selected by them it would just give me chance to become legend for the team before most others. Low key bonus goal is to inspire more Hungarian children, teens and overall youth into getting into sports or even joining the National Simulation Football League. Would be great to one day have Hungary vs United America with all States! Would be great to be able to say Laszlo Forty-Two inspired next generation of stars in expansion teams' location as well.
The Interviewer: That is pretty wholesome to hear honestly. I never knew you had the ability to want to inspire kids to do more.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Why would Laszlo not want to inspire next generation to crush opponent into submission? To cripple them beyond belief to make them always fear you as you stand tall in victory above them! Nobody wants to be a puny defeated weakling!
The Interviewer: Okay, well that goes the one wholesome thing I could think of relating to you. But we will hastily move onto the next time. The Colorado Yeti. They are currently needing quite a bit in terms of positions in order to compete against the rest of the league. Does a team that is currently struggling interest you or are you only looking for a good team to pick you up?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two does not care whatsoever about anything to do with last seasons record. They could have gone the whole season without getting a single point and it would not have made an inch of difference of whether or not Mr. Forty-Two wanted to join them. Laszlo will help them build if they draft me and Laszlo can help them become a good team over time.
The Interviewer: So you like the Colorado area as well? A bit different from the mountains in West Virginia.
Laszlo Forty-Two: If truth is told. Laszlo Forty-Two has never been to that state. Not once in his life. Laszlo did not even know Colorado was known for the Yeti infestation but Mr. Forty-Two will happily go look for one. He is not scared to go one on one with a Yeti to see how he fairs against wild beast. Only Yeti is ever see was the one in Monsters Inc that make delicious looking snow cones. Laszlo respect yeti for making delicious food whilst in harsh Colorado conditions.
Plus if truth be told the appeal of training on top of cold mountain in glorious mansion does greatly appeal to Laszlo. Could become even greater player with intense training like that.
The Interviewer: I do not think that would be too cold to do at high altitude?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Maybe yes. If you are puny and weak!
The Interviewer: If truth be told for me I am starting to notice a trend with your intense and extreme tendencies but I think that this will just make you more appealing for some teams honestly. Well, the next team we will be discussing will be the Philly Liberty but first off we need t--
Laszlo Forty-Two: Ah, the Pennsylvanian team! Laszlo actually have great story from time he go to a party during his one time rebel week when he was 17.Truly a wonderful time in Laszlo Forty-Two's young life so far. It goes something like this: I was d-
The Interviewer: Sorry to interrupt your story but w- Wait you had just one whole week of a rebellion in your teens? How the hell does that even work exactly? Well, anyway I guess we will find out in a moment because we need to take a very short break real quick to hear from the people sponsoring and paying for this interview.
But before we take a very quick break do you have anything to say to the people at home?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo does indeed have something to say. He thanks you for listening and he hopes that the National Simulation Football League General Managers listen to what was on the T-Shirts.
The Interviewer: Er...you destroyed the shirts though so we do not know what they said.
Laszlo Forty-Two: People saw the one that said draft Laszlo Forty-Two. So draft Laszlo Forty-Two high and we will destroy league together.
(This is the end of part one. I'm breaking it up so it is not stupidly long but hope you enjoy the 1st part!)
Once again a very small interviewing stage is set up with two black and comfy chairs, seems they improved the set this time. Eventually the interviewer takes his seat in the left one so he can introduce who he will be interviewing this time around.
The Interviewer: Ah, well hello there! Thank you all for joining me in another interview. This time around we will be getting to know about one of the draftees' opinions on the whole draft and the teams he may end up on and perhaps some others questions including some of your own on twitter!
Please welcome my guest at this time, none other than the Hungarian Laszlo Forty-Two!
Eventually after a bit of an awkwardly time pause of nothing happening a huge brute of a man who looks very serious walks out. For some weird reason he is in a lot of T-shirts as well. He walks up closely to the TV and shows the shirt he is wearing that says “Draft me please” on it in comic sans but the please is in huge papyrus. Talk about selling out in the weirdest fonts.
He pauses for a few seconds before doing the most Hulk Hogan thing ever and grabbing all 3 shirts and ripping them a part at the front to reveal his Tijuana Luchadore jersey. He then sits down and just gives a nod.
The Interviewer: Err...I was told you were to split them one at a time not all threw shirts at once to reveal a message?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Nope. No, No, No. Laszlo does not have the time for such terrible gimmicks. Is much more impressive if he destroy cloth all at same time. Time is money after all.
The Interviewer: But if anything that extends the length of this segment so you would get even more money and be able to send the National Simulation Football League General Managers a message that you want to be drafted high
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two can easily just state the Laz wants to go high. No-one care about message on shirts. Laszlo destroy shirts hopes and dreams just like he will against any team in the National Simulation Football League team who does not draft him! Is more powerful message!
The Interviewer: I see, I see. Well, without further a do it is time to welcome you Mr. Laszlo Forty-Two for another interview! You seem to be on a role right now before the draft with the media.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Yes he is. Laszlo feel it important to stand out and if he cannot stand out Laszlo feel abusing getting into everyone's face until they get sick and tired of seeing Laszlo! General Managers will know Mr. Forty-Two exist and they should take him!
The Interviewer: Well, let us get started with getting to know you a bit then. Tell me about yourself!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo confused as to why National Simulation Football League General Managers cannot just ask or check Laszlo's Wikipedia page for more details of him. Would be a lot easier and give me more time to train instead.
The Interviewer: Well, help the people who are lazy then instead.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Very well. Laszlo born in glorious city of Budapest in Hungary. The Laz grow up in Hungary until he is 9 years old. His parents then move to country with United States to create America. They move there to join cult. Laszlo join cult as one of the chosen few by our lord. He gain the number Forty-Two. Laszlo change last name to his special number in order to help sell merchandise such as the jersey he is wearing right now which is available on the Tijuana Luchadores' website with current 20% off deal when you use the code '42CrushPunyPeople'
Is much easier to sell out with number than crazy Hungarian last name.
The Interviewer: But this cult was not people who exactly sacrifice goats or murder people or act like the crazy people in the Westboro Bapist Church, right?
Laszlo Forty-Two: That is correct. We just have different beliefs. As Laszlo was saying though, we move to West Virginia. There he crush American youth in most sports. Eventually decide catching object and crushing defending opponent was most fun whilst being the best paid and now Laszlo Forty-Two is in Development Simulation Football League about to join National Simulation Football League soon.
The Interviewer: What were you like as a child? How did you turn into the man that you are today?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two is confused by terrible question. Mr. Forty-Two always been like this, even as beautiful child. Laszlo play in youth world cup for Association Football for Hungary. He crush small children with no mercy, end up top scorer in tournament but decide this sport pays more. Also people dive and act like sissys. Laszlo want to fight men.
The Interviewer: So that is how you became a Gridiron football player huh?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It is indeed. Laszlo now here to crush people, get number Forty-Two retired for whatever team drafts him, make good money and win trophies to take back to my cult temple to show off Laszlo's great and beautiful accomplishments!
The Interviewer: You really do not have small goals do you?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Only puny people have puny goals. Laszlo Forty-Two no like puny people. Even the puniest person in draft who will go last can become great player if they work hard enough. They will fail to compare against Mr. Forty-Two but will gain his respect.
The Interviewer: This probably was very obvious for everyone who pays attention to you now and I probably should have opened with this but you apparently always talk about yourself in the third person and with a deep serious tone. Why is that exactly?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz is of the opinion everyone else who talks in the other persons is in fact the weird one. Laszlo Forty-Two no understand why people talk like that but respect every person is in fact different.
To answer your question about why. That is simple. When Laszlo come to States that are United to create America, he not have the greatest understanding of the English language. Mr. Forty-Two know basic 'Hello', how to count to the number Forty Two and how to ask where the nearest toilet was but past that and perhaps some other odd ball words he not know anything!
Laszlo Forty-Two watch television. He watch the old World Wrestling Entertainment back when it was called World Wrestling Federation before giant panda hit Vince McMahon with steel chair and force to change company name! He watch Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. He was so confident, so strong, so agile. He talk in third person. Laszlo Forty-Two just pick it up. Now Laszlo Forty-Two is as cool as The Rock before he went to Hollywood to become tooth fairy.
The Interviewer: You realise that whilst he looked cool on TV that the wrestling was fake and predetermined, right?
Laszlo Forty-Two: So is the pornography that you watch alone whilst crying in bed afterwards due to how alone you are. So are all the television shows you enjoy before terribly written ending hits you with depression. Tell Laszlo. If Laszlo grab you, turn you upside down and piledrive you onto concrete thus crushing and snapping spinal cord like pathetic twig, will that be fake?
The Interviewer: Err...I-I do not think it would be no! L-let's not find out!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Then do not ask Mr. Forty-Two terrible questions.
The Interviewer: Very well I guess! I will move swiftly onwards!
So now that they know who you are and what goals you have in store for the big leagues, let us talk about your opinion on every team you have the ability to join. Well, if you so wish to join every team that could get you at least.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Just get on with it. Laszlo have much to say about teams.
The Interviewer: Okay, well we will be doing the NSFC teams first and the first team we will talk about is the current reigning champions of the whole National Simulation Football League, the Baltimore Hawks!
Recent media has them apparently needing a wide receiver more than anything to improve the winning team to make them a dynasty. Whilst they would have a low pick, what is your opinion on joining them?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Ah, the yellow chicken team. Laszlo wish to personally congratulate every person involved with the team for winning this past season. Laszlo not catch much of the big league fixtures this season due to training and other conflicting time schedules but when Mr. Forty-Two pop on the television he notice how well they play. Definitely one of the more fun teams to watch and if for some reason they moved upwards or every National Simulation Football League team General Manager lose all sanity and do not draft Laszlo high. Laszlo Forty-Two would be honoured to destroy rest of league with them and create a dynasty!
The Interviewer: Do you have any opinion on the location?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo never go to Baltimore. Believe it is in the state which has the land named after Mary. The Laz likes the name Mary so Laszlo assumes place is great location. He can definitely see himself helping them become a dynasty in the National Simulation Football League. Also, Laszlo assumes place has a lot of mansions he could buy as home to go with temple in West Virginia and mansion in Tijuana. So that would be a nice bonus.
The Interviewer: Will you be asking for a big contract or something?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No. Laszlo does not spend money on stupid stuff like other players seem to do. He will purchase lovely place for himself and fellow cultists and live good life in lovely house.
The Interviewer: Ah, well that sound just lovely. I think. Well, moving onto the next team we have none other than one of the expansion teams, the Chicago Butchers. Recent media had them not really needing to focus on the wide receiver position but would you play for them as well?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two loves his steaks and other meats. Very glad the butcher industry has become so successful they could buy a whole National Simulation Football League team. Laszlo like the picks they did in the expansion draft for them and the Copperheads but we will get to them soon. Laszlo feels they can be a good team and evolve into great team with a good draft. Laszlo would happily go play in the state of Illinois. Laszlo Forty-Two can see himself being the Michael Jordan of Gridiron football.
Only exception would be Laszlo would not need the looney toons to crush the Monstars without mercy and without cartoons helping. Bill Murray is welcome to come help though if he feels like it.
The Interviewer: So I guess playing for an expansion team is not an issue for you either?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No, none at all. If selected by them it would just give me chance to become legend for the team before most others. Low key bonus goal is to inspire more Hungarian children, teens and overall youth into getting into sports or even joining the National Simulation Football League. Would be great to one day have Hungary vs United America with all States! Would be great to be able to say Laszlo Forty-Two inspired next generation of stars in expansion teams' location as well.
The Interviewer: That is pretty wholesome to hear honestly. I never knew you had the ability to want to inspire kids to do more.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Why would Laszlo not want to inspire next generation to crush opponent into submission? To cripple them beyond belief to make them always fear you as you stand tall in victory above them! Nobody wants to be a puny defeated weakling!
The Interviewer: Okay, well that goes the one wholesome thing I could think of relating to you. But we will hastily move onto the next time. The Colorado Yeti. They are currently needing quite a bit in terms of positions in order to compete against the rest of the league. Does a team that is currently struggling interest you or are you only looking for a good team to pick you up?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two does not care whatsoever about anything to do with last seasons record. They could have gone the whole season without getting a single point and it would not have made an inch of difference of whether or not Mr. Forty-Two wanted to join them. Laszlo will help them build if they draft me and Laszlo can help them become a good team over time.
The Interviewer: So you like the Colorado area as well? A bit different from the mountains in West Virginia.
Laszlo Forty-Two: If truth is told. Laszlo Forty-Two has never been to that state. Not once in his life. Laszlo did not even know Colorado was known for the Yeti infestation but Mr. Forty-Two will happily go look for one. He is not scared to go one on one with a Yeti to see how he fairs against wild beast. Only Yeti is ever see was the one in Monsters Inc that make delicious looking snow cones. Laszlo respect yeti for making delicious food whilst in harsh Colorado conditions.
Plus if truth be told the appeal of training on top of cold mountain in glorious mansion does greatly appeal to Laszlo. Could become even greater player with intense training like that.
The Interviewer: I do not think that would be too cold to do at high altitude?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Maybe yes. If you are puny and weak!
The Interviewer: If truth be told for me I am starting to notice a trend with your intense and extreme tendencies but I think that this will just make you more appealing for some teams honestly. Well, the next team we will be discussing will be the Philly Liberty but first off we need t--
Laszlo Forty-Two: Ah, the Pennsylvanian team! Laszlo actually have great story from time he go to a party during his one time rebel week when he was 17.Truly a wonderful time in Laszlo Forty-Two's young life so far. It goes something like this: I was d-
The Interviewer: Sorry to interrupt your story but w- Wait you had just one whole week of a rebellion in your teens? How the hell does that even work exactly? Well, anyway I guess we will find out in a moment because we need to take a very short break real quick to hear from the people sponsoring and paying for this interview.
But before we take a very quick break do you have anything to say to the people at home?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo does indeed have something to say. He thanks you for listening and he hopes that the National Simulation Football League General Managers listen to what was on the T-Shirts.
The Interviewer: Er...you destroyed the shirts though so we do not know what they said.
Laszlo Forty-Two: People saw the one that said draft Laszlo Forty-Two. So draft Laszlo Forty-Two high and we will destroy league together.
(This is the end of part one. I'm breaking it up so it is not stupidly long but hope you enjoy the 1st part!)
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