[This is 4880 words roughly and about the draft so 1.5x media and BWestfield was kind enough to give me the full 100% of the money for this piece of media. I hope you all enjoy!]
Hello and welcome to the Colorado Yeti S18 Collaborative Draft Review with me and mah boi BWestfield. We will be giving our opinion on the top 10 of the most recent draft! So let us get started!
The first 10 picks in Season 18
IsaStarCrossed - DT - Bjørn Ironside
Hallmonitor_20 - DE - Zach Hall
Revolution5 - WR - Tyrone Biggums
Modern_Duke - CB - Louisiana Purchase
Bex - RB - Marcella T?riki
DylanDeluxe - LB - Thudd Kassel
BaconBrother - LB - Maurice Virtanen
Jsteele14 - S - Pete Parker
VRTX L4S3R - CB - Korrin Abernathy
UpperNet - LB - Net Gaines
Jack Johnson’s take:
The Season 18 draft was exciting the entire time, even at the end team were making trades for guys who may not even be good High School players. This is because the draft was filled with potential and perfection when it came to its players. The players way down on the bottom of the draft could be something spectacular if they simply put in more time and effort. While the lower class were not amazing on the field teams thought that they would groom these players into backups and depth for their respective teams. In the mid tiers of the draft class you saw players that were NSFL ready and dominating the DSFL in their short time there. These players were poised for greatness. Some may be that short spark that fizzles away, but some may be that player you have been needing for years to come. That brings us to the top of the draft class. Some of these players shouldn’t have even played in the DSFL. They were simply too good. It shows in statistics and it shows in the draft just how valuable they were. There has not been a draft class like this since the beginning of the league. Some may even argue that this is the best draft class ever. I will not argue against that as I am one of those people. Let’s dive a little deeper into the draft and see some players that I thought, and that the 10 NSFL teams also thought were the best at their positions.
#1 Bjørn Ironside
The obvious choice is to start at the number one overall pick. Bjørn Ironside. Bjørn was pegged as the number 1 overall pick in the Season 18 draft since he declared himself eligible. He was the clear number one on everyone’s draft board. I am not sure that anyone could have offered New Orleans enough to sway they hand otherwise. The pick came in just seconds after the draft had started. A dominant player at Defensive Tackle position who has not only dominated in the DSFL but has made himself known around the entire league for his incredible strength and athleticism. There will be no learning curve for Bjorn as he seems to already have the talent of someone who has been in the league for years. Rumors around the league are that his name is already written on a hall of fame ballot ready to be submitted. He has all-star and perennial pro-bowl written all over him. This guy does everything a coach could ever want and isn't going to be persuaded by money. He is a coach and general manager’s dream. First one in and last one out as they say.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#2 Zach Hall
The number two overall pick was none other than Zach Hall. There were so many different directions that Philadelphia could have gone here. But Zach was their guy. This pick also didn’t take longer than a few seconds. The Liberty have been studying this draft class for the last few weeks and had already planned it out accordingly. Zach is another great player just like Bjorn. His good personality shows up on and off the field and money/greed will not get in the way of his success. This Tight End play well throughout his DSFL career but really found his niche on the defensive side of the ball. His height, weight, and strength gave him some unique abilities at the Defensive End position. Here he will be able to disrupt the Quarterback on almost any given play. Depending on what side of the Defensive Line he plays, teams will likely have to place a fullback there to chip him or play the best Offensive Tackle where he lines up.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#3 Tyrone Biggums
Here comes the number 3 pick from left field. While this is certainly not a bad pick at all and it also fills a need for the lackluster Receiver corps of the Otters, it simply caught me off guard. Tyrone is one of those guys that always seems to find the ball. When he is thrown too it is almost as if he has some sort of radar implanted in his hands. I may be wrong here but I am pretty sure I saw him in practice catching balls without looking. Either that or his helmet was broken. Tyrone also has the ability to run all the routes. He isn’t the fastest guy out there, but he doesn't need to be. He will break away from any defenders coverage and get open for his Quarterback. Franklin Armstrong is going to love having this guy on the field. The Otters offense just got a lot scarier for opposing defenses.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#4 Louisiana Purchase
This was a huge need for the Yeti. Their secondary, while filled with good players, definitely could use the help and the depth of an upcoming star who could very well become a starter right away. Deciding to go with 828,000 square miles of coverage should be a game changer. Half of Colorado was already located within the Purchase so he doesn't need to go very far. Stretching from today’s Louisiana up into Saskatchewan, Louisiana is easily the largest player that the league has ever seen. Louisiana is one of the more modern types of players that plays slightly different than that of previous players. You’ll see him playing slightly off the player he is covering to mask his coverage and make the receiver appear open. He then will use his overwhelming speed to outpace the receiver and make the play. Louisiana will have to watch out for speed demons like Errol Maddox but will get plenty of practice from Yeti Wide Receiver James Bishop.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#5 Marcella T?riki
If Bjorn was the king of this draft, Marcella is it’s queen. Her size and agility allows her to evade defenders at will. Shedding tackles and finding the hole. Her speed comes in bursts and the defense should be afraid to leave her in the open field. Marcella will likely be flexed out as a receiver as well as she is naturally gifted and has a great sense for the ball. While she doesnt have the strength to push the defensive line in goal line situations she will certainly find the endzone. Marcella is another one of the players I can see having an extra long career. With the right attitude and a new quarterback under center for San Jose, Marcella has a very promising career ahead of her. Look out league records, here she comes! Whether or not Marcella stays with the rebuilding Sabercats is up to her, but no matter where she lands after her rookie contract, she will lead them to victory.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#6 Thudd Kassel
The first linebacker off the board is Thudd Kassel. While this is his birth name, Thudd is definitely a good definition of the feeling that someone gets when hit by the man. The two d’s in his name represents a double dose of his pimpage, I mean... hit power. There is a lot about this player to like. There is also a lot of comparisons to draw with our next pick Maurice Virtanen. Both are the best at their position, even though they both play the same position. Maurice certainly could have gone here as well. I think the difference is how they compose themselves in the locker room that grabbed the attention or New Orleans.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#7 Maurice Virtanen
The second linebacker off the board. Maurice, or as I like to call him, Mo, is physically gifted and a mental coercer. He likes to play games with opposing quarterbacks and running backs. Make them think that he has a tell to what he is doing and then he does what the least expect. Mo is a great jumper and can pounce from several yards away to make the tackle. Don’t be upset that you didn’t go a spot higher. Sometimes landing with the right team a pick later is what is best for your career. You can expect to go places.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#8 Peter Parker
Like a spider from the ceiling Parker dangled there and the Yeti pounced. The Yeti traded away current and future draft capital in order to grab this player which dropped way lower than I imagined that he would. Parker is definitely worthy of being grabbed in the top 4 and Colorado was able to grab him 8th overall. The Yeti seem to be adding a strong group of defending players on top of a young up and coming core. Parker and Louisiana Purchase will both make an immediate impact for the Yeti and create a dominant defensive unit for years to come. Mark my words. Parker will have the most interceptions in the league when his career is over. He has what I call “sticky hands”. With great power, comes great responsibility. The Yeti are counting on you Peter.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#9 Korrin Abernathy
Korrin is another one of those players that stands to make an impact immediately. Likely to start in the nickelback position, Korrin will look to stop quick slants and fast receivers from being able to make those easy 3rd down conversions. The Abernathy pick shows just how much the Otters knows who to pick where and when. They have one of the best front offices in the league and every year they show up to the draft and get those perennial players that other teams can only dream of. Korrin is that pick. Korrin Abernathy takes the Otters draft from good to great. Orange County and Abernathy will likely be a match made in heaven for both parties involved.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#10 Net Gaines
Net is the only player that I will label as a B in this top 10 review. This is not because he is the 10th pick or because I think he is not worthy of the top 10. It is simply my understanding from outside sources of this news group that he will only able to reach a certain height. He is an outstanding player now but he has a ceiling that will hinder his overall growth. Will he become a pro bowl player? Yes. Will he become a great pick for Austin, absolutely. However I think that Net could have fallen a bit further down the draft. I think that Autin could have done slightly better here, however I don’t disagree with the pick. I hope that the Copperheads and Gaines are able to prove me wrong here. I love to see players going out there with a chip on their shoulders and proving the doubters wrong.
Draft Pick Grade: B+
C9 Van’s thoughts:
Well, your first mistake was thinking I had the ability to think. Now that I have filled this article with awkwardness it is time for the main piece to begin from me. Here is my take on the most recent National Simulation Football League draft!
1st overall - Isa Star Crossed - DT - Bjørn Ironside
So to start with let me tell you a short little story. In the sim league the Pro Baseball Experience I recently joined and kind of went crazy with doing media over there. $140 million worth actually. I am known for being a bit of a media whore or just a meme player. Hell, when I heard joined the National Simulation Football League I wrote quite a lot to make about $70 million (Albeit it was when x2 media was around. Rest in Pieces.) and that was pretty respectful to decent.
This guy absolutely shits on those numbers. If you did not know any better I would actually believe that he enjoys doing media in this league and willingly does it. Now that is quite the bold claim I will admit but he gives me this vibe.
The reason I state all of this is not just for dank media filler but because it proves why he is going number 1 overall in this draft. In fact I can give you $300 million reasons as to why. He is damn near sorted for a whole career already and being above Wolfie McDummy in bank is something clearly special. The reason they took him is because he will be a star and ain’t nothing anyone can do to stop this from happening. No-one else comes close to deserving 1st overall. I truly believe this whole draft class is special. So far through my draft class we have just 11 active people remaining but a few are pretty good. So it is about quality rather than quantity but in this draft the quality has quantity and even though I think a lot of great players are going to make teams a lot better I still do believe he is deserving of 1st overall.
Also, may as well say it. He has the fucking Mountain of a face claim. I truly love the players in this league who use unique or non-gridiron football players and as the dude who uses mah boi Arnie in this league I am happy to see one of the other ironic strong men of the world making it big in this league as well.
Rating: I give this 3 Arnold Classics. Quite easily in fact.
2nd overall - Hallmonitor_20 - DE - Zach Hall
Man. What the fuck do I even say or start with this selection. I guess from the start? Well, then gather round ye children for it is story time again.
So leaving the Tijuana Luchadores for me was very sad but I was lucky that Mr. Tom Hanks asked me if I would like to scout for them in the upcoming draft as a scout. Now scouts do not get paid because this league hates them. But I still did it because I felt genuinely bad about leaving my beloved home. I made a deal with the Colorado Yeti to get 1 extra season in the minors and I was going to respect it. A small problem though. I do not know shit about Gridiron football. However I do know how to make a decent Wide Receiver. So to lighten the load on them I scouted Tight Ends and Wide Receivers. Now we will pick up on Wide Receivers later on in this but the reason I bring this up is because I genuinely think I was one of the first people to realise how fucking special Zach Hall was and is going to be in this league. I will fookin’ fight anyone who says differently too!
A few other Tight Ends were pretty nice and recommended by me to the Luchadores but one of the main ones I wanted them to get was none other than this guy, Zach Hall.
I really wanted this guy on the Luchadores. Imagine that championship winning team with this as the Tight End. I remember messaging him just merely saying I liked his player. Cause I genuinely just wanted to have this person stay active in a draft that can have people drop off the face of the earth. Such a nice dude. To see him go 2nd overall did shock me if I am being honest. I did think he may go a little lower overall but I am glad to see him be taken high cause he does deserve it.
I think he will be a big pickup honestly. The bitter part of the bittersweet situation for me is the fact that he is not on any of my teams.
Rating: 4 and a half Hallways.
3rd Overall: Revolution5 - WR - Tyrone Biggums
Ah! Onto the Wide Receivers side of the subject. Now when I looked at this draft class a decent amount of Wide Receivers were around. I personally cannot stand in minors when Wide Receivers put literally all free Total Points Earned into Speed. I get speed is damn near everything in the sims but I personally disagree to that statement for the minors. You can max speed but you are not catching shit then. A good starting point in my opinion is covering the important ones and then having your minors team help you with your finishing build. You will then do something other than drop everything.
A lot of the Wide Receivers did something like this, or at least according to my notes (I have slept since then, sorry) but about 2 or 3 of them did not. Tyrone Biggums was in fact one of them. This made him stand out to me and heavily recommend him as one of the best Wide Receivers to the Tijuana Luchadores. Then trades happened and made this damn near all pointless but still!
I am really happy to see Tyrone Biggums go as the highest and think he will do very well in the National Simulation Football League. Rev is making a special Wide Receiver and one to watch for the future so him going 3rd overall is deserved. I do not know what his build is currently looking like and I am not going to be paid enough to check it out but I believe he will be a full max earner and in his prime would be a huge help to his team for many seasons to come.
Incidentally his name reminds me of Tigole Bitties from the Simulation Hockey League so I have always liked his name too. Not that this is a factor or anything, just made me like him more.
Rating: 2 Tigole Bitties
4th overall - Modern Duke - CB - Louisiana Purchase
The fucking Colorado Yeti. After you first get past looking at the 2nd round flop that is Wolfie McDummy who clearly cannot ever show he is a good quarterback but now he is using his own bank account to buy Louisana?!
Okay, in all seriousness. I expect this one will be a tad fairly biased in this article. But I did personally want Zach Hall for us. Mainly for selfish reasons but I feel those were valid but after getting cucked in the 2nd overall pick I was more than happy for us to get the best CB in the draft.
A few seasons ago the Colorado Yeti were 1-500 and doing what the Colorado Yeti have done a lot historically. However, this season this all changed when Bubba Thumper moved up and Laszlo Forty-Two finally decided to move his Hungarian Third Person talking ass to the major leagues as well. The Bubba42 Effect. The Bubba42 era. However, this is the draft to really be all in on. The Yeti want to finish out core and in this draft a lot of puzzle pieces just simply fit well with us. The first piece for us is the Louisana Purchase.
When this guy hits his prime the league will be fucking annoyed with the fact they do not have him on whatever team they are on and by then he will have a core that is already hitting its prime as well. The future is very bright in a couple of seasons for the Yeti and adding this great dude into our locker room will only make us better and the future brighter. I am genuinely very happy with this pick up.
Oh and once again incidentally...Anyone else notice how many fucking Marshalls are on the Colorado Yeti and here I am. Send help!
Rating: 7 Development Simulation Football League Ultiminis.
5th Overall - Bex - RB - Marcella T?riki
The other Sea Wolves player! Yes, you heard it here first. The Sea Wolves have had 2 great players! I personally do not know her. I have seen she is pretty active in the rookie discord before Scouts lost all human rights and talks in the main National Simulation Football League discord. My boi Bubba Thumper seems to know her a lot better and says she is a great person so I am glad she is going as the Highest RB in the draft. This honestly is out of my knowledge. I do not know running game whatsoever past making a beast on Madden 08 for the Vikings and averaging 20 yards per run in a game for an xbox achievement which probably qualifies me as an armchair pundit so I will go on record as to say that Bex will average 20 yards per attempt in a single game in her rookie season (I do not know if she is moving up this season but whenever her rookie major season is) and win rookie of the season!
Overhyping a side I do think she will do very well and I am not surprised she went this highly. A lot of teams did want her after some of the bigger guns were taken.
6th Overall - Dylan Deluxe - LB - Thudd Kassel
The future leader of the Tijuana Luchadores! Unless that was all a dream but I am confident about that. I love this guy. I think he will not only do a great job for the Luchadores (Plus he will get advice from a great alumni of former players if he even needs it) but also be a bloody good Line Backer.
Honestly, I find it funny that a lot of the New Orlean Second Line are like the Colorado Yeti but with the Luchadores. I am on the wrong team! Plus I must say they have a good core going forwards and I could in a few seasons time easily see both of our teams making the finals against each other.
I think overall that the Colorado Yeti and New Orlean Second Line were the biggest winners of this draft based off everything as a full picture. Not that a lot of teams did not also pick up great talent but with these 2 picks New Orleans got 2 very good players and the Colorado Yeti also did very well.
Damn near all but one team truly gained in this 1. I err...I used to be a little sad Chicago did not take me 2nd overall but now that they have lost both of those guys I think they probably regret not taking someone who will take minimum contracts and be a 1 man team lol
Overall though I think Dylan will shine with the New Orlean Second Line and if I was going to pick an ideal spot for him team wise it would have to be them. Already knows the team well, they can help them and just basically means that New Orleans Second Line have the best Development Simulation Football League team as a mini farm. (Whilst the Colorado Yeti get the San Antonio Marshalls. The similarities never stop!)
Rating: A thudd-erous round of applause.
7th Overall - Bacon Brother - LB - Maurice Virtanen
From DD to BB. Yellow Knife Wraiths pick up the second Line back of the draft one position after. I am fairly sure they knew they were getting this one. The real quick is how will the young Maurice react to being team mates with Ryan Leaf Jr. Does he even like Leaf Jr Juice?!
I genuinely detest when I read these sort of media things and it is literally just “I think this is a good pick up” with a sort of generic reason as to why that could be if they stay active. The team needed that position, etc. But the sad truth I have to face is I do also think this a long with damn near all the top 10 picks that I do know about the player are from what limited knowledge I have is a pretty good pick-up.
I wanna say like this 1 will end in drama or the locker room burning down but I do not think this will happen. This might not be as fun of a read but he should do well and prove he is a good 1st round pick. It will be interesting to see what 1 of the 3 Line Backers who were taken in the 1st round end up doing the best and having the best career. But hindsight is for another drama.
Rating: Videl-San in Pro Baseball Experience
8th overall - Jsteele14 - S - Pete Parker
The Colorado Yeti traded up to get the man who needs a new uncle. He is a safety which makes sense since Peter knows with great power comes great responsibility. This was one of the better defensive players in the draft in my opinion so for us to get him 8th overall is a true testament to how good this draft class is.
I do not really want to tell you happened behind the scenes but Sony and Disney just refusing to comply made this look like it was not going to happen for the Colorado Yeti. However, when we proposed that we could make both a lot of money playing him as a safety they buckled instantly. They know a great deal when they see one and thanks to us Spiderman 3 will happen. You are welcome Marvel Cinematic Universe fans.
What does Mr. Parker actually bring to the locker room though? Well, Gwen Stacey is hot but this might not be the right version for that. But Mary Jane Watson is also cute albeit has issues would be considered a great plus if not for the fact this means Venom, the Green Goblin, Sandman and a few other villians may now attack Denver. Doc Ock is perfectly fine though, assuming it is Spider Man 2’s version. Hell, Lazzy may even join forces with you. He also brings speed and strength to the team which the latter was needed since only Laszlo was a powerhouse beforehand.
Peter has roughly 60 meters of webbing and can move pretty fast when he wants to be. Also Peter has shown himself to be able to hold or lift roughly 40 tons worth of weight albeit this has been shown to be inconsistent throughout his comic books. Also let us be real here, the god damn spider sense thing will truly be over powered in this league, especially at safety. I dunno, I feel the league man ban him from using it but then how do you change that from just human reactions. Good luck head office.
Rating: The emo Peter Parker dancing gif.
9th Overall - VRTX L4S3R - CB - Korrin Abernathy
If I am being honest still, I do not know much about this player at all. Well past seeing a couple of posts randomly in discord and the forum. What I do know is that the Orange County Otters also had a bloody good draft. The issue with this though is that we all know that the league is suffering from 7-6itus. If you have been living under a rock this basically means the winner of the league come play-offs must be a 7-6 team. I fear that this will be the final nail in the Otter coffin for winning the league as they should easily have sadly more than 8 wins going forward.
This good core they have added will mean they are able to compete for a long time I feel. I assume they might have needed to get a CB too? No clue like, just assuming but if they did not need anyone in this position they are at least sorted later on!
Rating: A thumbs up because I do not know what else to say about something and someone I do not know about
10th Overall - Upper Net - LB - Net Gaines
The third line back to go in the draft so far goes at number 10, the final 1st round pick and to Austin. This is a great pick up for them as I remember hearing someone say they really needed one. Whilst I do believe just based off everything like stats and locker room presence, etc the other two do beat him I will say I think Upper is a great pick up for them. I could make a net gain joke round about now but I imagine this has been done to death and I would much prefer to say that Austin + Stonks = upwards direction.
Rating: Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your draft
This ends the collab media between myself and BWestfield. This was fun and I hope you all enjoyed reading it.
Hello and welcome to the Colorado Yeti S18 Collaborative Draft Review with me and mah boi BWestfield. We will be giving our opinion on the top 10 of the most recent draft! So let us get started!
The first 10 picks in Season 18
IsaStarCrossed - DT - Bjørn Ironside
Hallmonitor_20 - DE - Zach Hall
Revolution5 - WR - Tyrone Biggums
Modern_Duke - CB - Louisiana Purchase
Bex - RB - Marcella T?riki
DylanDeluxe - LB - Thudd Kassel
BaconBrother - LB - Maurice Virtanen
Jsteele14 - S - Pete Parker
VRTX L4S3R - CB - Korrin Abernathy
UpperNet - LB - Net Gaines
Jack Johnson’s take:
The Season 18 draft was exciting the entire time, even at the end team were making trades for guys who may not even be good High School players. This is because the draft was filled with potential and perfection when it came to its players. The players way down on the bottom of the draft could be something spectacular if they simply put in more time and effort. While the lower class were not amazing on the field teams thought that they would groom these players into backups and depth for their respective teams. In the mid tiers of the draft class you saw players that were NSFL ready and dominating the DSFL in their short time there. These players were poised for greatness. Some may be that short spark that fizzles away, but some may be that player you have been needing for years to come. That brings us to the top of the draft class. Some of these players shouldn’t have even played in the DSFL. They were simply too good. It shows in statistics and it shows in the draft just how valuable they were. There has not been a draft class like this since the beginning of the league. Some may even argue that this is the best draft class ever. I will not argue against that as I am one of those people. Let’s dive a little deeper into the draft and see some players that I thought, and that the 10 NSFL teams also thought were the best at their positions.
#1 Bjørn Ironside
The obvious choice is to start at the number one overall pick. Bjørn Ironside. Bjørn was pegged as the number 1 overall pick in the Season 18 draft since he declared himself eligible. He was the clear number one on everyone’s draft board. I am not sure that anyone could have offered New Orleans enough to sway they hand otherwise. The pick came in just seconds after the draft had started. A dominant player at Defensive Tackle position who has not only dominated in the DSFL but has made himself known around the entire league for his incredible strength and athleticism. There will be no learning curve for Bjorn as he seems to already have the talent of someone who has been in the league for years. Rumors around the league are that his name is already written on a hall of fame ballot ready to be submitted. He has all-star and perennial pro-bowl written all over him. This guy does everything a coach could ever want and isn't going to be persuaded by money. He is a coach and general manager’s dream. First one in and last one out as they say.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#2 Zach Hall
The number two overall pick was none other than Zach Hall. There were so many different directions that Philadelphia could have gone here. But Zach was their guy. This pick also didn’t take longer than a few seconds. The Liberty have been studying this draft class for the last few weeks and had already planned it out accordingly. Zach is another great player just like Bjorn. His good personality shows up on and off the field and money/greed will not get in the way of his success. This Tight End play well throughout his DSFL career but really found his niche on the defensive side of the ball. His height, weight, and strength gave him some unique abilities at the Defensive End position. Here he will be able to disrupt the Quarterback on almost any given play. Depending on what side of the Defensive Line he plays, teams will likely have to place a fullback there to chip him or play the best Offensive Tackle where he lines up.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#3 Tyrone Biggums
Here comes the number 3 pick from left field. While this is certainly not a bad pick at all and it also fills a need for the lackluster Receiver corps of the Otters, it simply caught me off guard. Tyrone is one of those guys that always seems to find the ball. When he is thrown too it is almost as if he has some sort of radar implanted in his hands. I may be wrong here but I am pretty sure I saw him in practice catching balls without looking. Either that or his helmet was broken. Tyrone also has the ability to run all the routes. He isn’t the fastest guy out there, but he doesn't need to be. He will break away from any defenders coverage and get open for his Quarterback. Franklin Armstrong is going to love having this guy on the field. The Otters offense just got a lot scarier for opposing defenses.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#4 Louisiana Purchase
This was a huge need for the Yeti. Their secondary, while filled with good players, definitely could use the help and the depth of an upcoming star who could very well become a starter right away. Deciding to go with 828,000 square miles of coverage should be a game changer. Half of Colorado was already located within the Purchase so he doesn't need to go very far. Stretching from today’s Louisiana up into Saskatchewan, Louisiana is easily the largest player that the league has ever seen. Louisiana is one of the more modern types of players that plays slightly different than that of previous players. You’ll see him playing slightly off the player he is covering to mask his coverage and make the receiver appear open. He then will use his overwhelming speed to outpace the receiver and make the play. Louisiana will have to watch out for speed demons like Errol Maddox but will get plenty of practice from Yeti Wide Receiver James Bishop.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#5 Marcella T?riki
If Bjorn was the king of this draft, Marcella is it’s queen. Her size and agility allows her to evade defenders at will. Shedding tackles and finding the hole. Her speed comes in bursts and the defense should be afraid to leave her in the open field. Marcella will likely be flexed out as a receiver as well as she is naturally gifted and has a great sense for the ball. While she doesnt have the strength to push the defensive line in goal line situations she will certainly find the endzone. Marcella is another one of the players I can see having an extra long career. With the right attitude and a new quarterback under center for San Jose, Marcella has a very promising career ahead of her. Look out league records, here she comes! Whether or not Marcella stays with the rebuilding Sabercats is up to her, but no matter where she lands after her rookie contract, she will lead them to victory.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#6 Thudd Kassel
The first linebacker off the board is Thudd Kassel. While this is his birth name, Thudd is definitely a good definition of the feeling that someone gets when hit by the man. The two d’s in his name represents a double dose of his pimpage, I mean... hit power. There is a lot about this player to like. There is also a lot of comparisons to draw with our next pick Maurice Virtanen. Both are the best at their position, even though they both play the same position. Maurice certainly could have gone here as well. I think the difference is how they compose themselves in the locker room that grabbed the attention or New Orleans.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#7 Maurice Virtanen
The second linebacker off the board. Maurice, or as I like to call him, Mo, is physically gifted and a mental coercer. He likes to play games with opposing quarterbacks and running backs. Make them think that he has a tell to what he is doing and then he does what the least expect. Mo is a great jumper and can pounce from several yards away to make the tackle. Don’t be upset that you didn’t go a spot higher. Sometimes landing with the right team a pick later is what is best for your career. You can expect to go places.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#8 Peter Parker
Like a spider from the ceiling Parker dangled there and the Yeti pounced. The Yeti traded away current and future draft capital in order to grab this player which dropped way lower than I imagined that he would. Parker is definitely worthy of being grabbed in the top 4 and Colorado was able to grab him 8th overall. The Yeti seem to be adding a strong group of defending players on top of a young up and coming core. Parker and Louisiana Purchase will both make an immediate impact for the Yeti and create a dominant defensive unit for years to come. Mark my words. Parker will have the most interceptions in the league when his career is over. He has what I call “sticky hands”. With great power, comes great responsibility. The Yeti are counting on you Peter.
Draft Pick Grade: A+
#9 Korrin Abernathy
Korrin is another one of those players that stands to make an impact immediately. Likely to start in the nickelback position, Korrin will look to stop quick slants and fast receivers from being able to make those easy 3rd down conversions. The Abernathy pick shows just how much the Otters knows who to pick where and when. They have one of the best front offices in the league and every year they show up to the draft and get those perennial players that other teams can only dream of. Korrin is that pick. Korrin Abernathy takes the Otters draft from good to great. Orange County and Abernathy will likely be a match made in heaven for both parties involved.
Draft Pick Grade: A
#10 Net Gaines
Net is the only player that I will label as a B in this top 10 review. This is not because he is the 10th pick or because I think he is not worthy of the top 10. It is simply my understanding from outside sources of this news group that he will only able to reach a certain height. He is an outstanding player now but he has a ceiling that will hinder his overall growth. Will he become a pro bowl player? Yes. Will he become a great pick for Austin, absolutely. However I think that Net could have fallen a bit further down the draft. I think that Autin could have done slightly better here, however I don’t disagree with the pick. I hope that the Copperheads and Gaines are able to prove me wrong here. I love to see players going out there with a chip on their shoulders and proving the doubters wrong.
Draft Pick Grade: B+
C9 Van’s thoughts:
Well, your first mistake was thinking I had the ability to think. Now that I have filled this article with awkwardness it is time for the main piece to begin from me. Here is my take on the most recent National Simulation Football League draft!
1st overall - Isa Star Crossed - DT - Bjørn Ironside
So to start with let me tell you a short little story. In the sim league the Pro Baseball Experience I recently joined and kind of went crazy with doing media over there. $140 million worth actually. I am known for being a bit of a media whore or just a meme player. Hell, when I heard joined the National Simulation Football League I wrote quite a lot to make about $70 million (Albeit it was when x2 media was around. Rest in Pieces.) and that was pretty respectful to decent.
This guy absolutely shits on those numbers. If you did not know any better I would actually believe that he enjoys doing media in this league and willingly does it. Now that is quite the bold claim I will admit but he gives me this vibe.
The reason I state all of this is not just for dank media filler but because it proves why he is going number 1 overall in this draft. In fact I can give you $300 million reasons as to why. He is damn near sorted for a whole career already and being above Wolfie McDummy in bank is something clearly special. The reason they took him is because he will be a star and ain’t nothing anyone can do to stop this from happening. No-one else comes close to deserving 1st overall. I truly believe this whole draft class is special. So far through my draft class we have just 11 active people remaining but a few are pretty good. So it is about quality rather than quantity but in this draft the quality has quantity and even though I think a lot of great players are going to make teams a lot better I still do believe he is deserving of 1st overall.
Also, may as well say it. He has the fucking Mountain of a face claim. I truly love the players in this league who use unique or non-gridiron football players and as the dude who uses mah boi Arnie in this league I am happy to see one of the other ironic strong men of the world making it big in this league as well.
Rating: I give this 3 Arnold Classics. Quite easily in fact.
2nd overall - Hallmonitor_20 - DE - Zach Hall
Man. What the fuck do I even say or start with this selection. I guess from the start? Well, then gather round ye children for it is story time again.
So leaving the Tijuana Luchadores for me was very sad but I was lucky that Mr. Tom Hanks asked me if I would like to scout for them in the upcoming draft as a scout. Now scouts do not get paid because this league hates them. But I still did it because I felt genuinely bad about leaving my beloved home. I made a deal with the Colorado Yeti to get 1 extra season in the minors and I was going to respect it. A small problem though. I do not know shit about Gridiron football. However I do know how to make a decent Wide Receiver. So to lighten the load on them I scouted Tight Ends and Wide Receivers. Now we will pick up on Wide Receivers later on in this but the reason I bring this up is because I genuinely think I was one of the first people to realise how fucking special Zach Hall was and is going to be in this league. I will fookin’ fight anyone who says differently too!
A few other Tight Ends were pretty nice and recommended by me to the Luchadores but one of the main ones I wanted them to get was none other than this guy, Zach Hall.
I really wanted this guy on the Luchadores. Imagine that championship winning team with this as the Tight End. I remember messaging him just merely saying I liked his player. Cause I genuinely just wanted to have this person stay active in a draft that can have people drop off the face of the earth. Such a nice dude. To see him go 2nd overall did shock me if I am being honest. I did think he may go a little lower overall but I am glad to see him be taken high cause he does deserve it.
I think he will be a big pickup honestly. The bitter part of the bittersweet situation for me is the fact that he is not on any of my teams.
Rating: 4 and a half Hallways.
3rd Overall: Revolution5 - WR - Tyrone Biggums
Ah! Onto the Wide Receivers side of the subject. Now when I looked at this draft class a decent amount of Wide Receivers were around. I personally cannot stand in minors when Wide Receivers put literally all free Total Points Earned into Speed. I get speed is damn near everything in the sims but I personally disagree to that statement for the minors. You can max speed but you are not catching shit then. A good starting point in my opinion is covering the important ones and then having your minors team help you with your finishing build. You will then do something other than drop everything.
A lot of the Wide Receivers did something like this, or at least according to my notes (I have slept since then, sorry) but about 2 or 3 of them did not. Tyrone Biggums was in fact one of them. This made him stand out to me and heavily recommend him as one of the best Wide Receivers to the Tijuana Luchadores. Then trades happened and made this damn near all pointless but still!
I am really happy to see Tyrone Biggums go as the highest and think he will do very well in the National Simulation Football League. Rev is making a special Wide Receiver and one to watch for the future so him going 3rd overall is deserved. I do not know what his build is currently looking like and I am not going to be paid enough to check it out but I believe he will be a full max earner and in his prime would be a huge help to his team for many seasons to come.
Incidentally his name reminds me of Tigole Bitties from the Simulation Hockey League so I have always liked his name too. Not that this is a factor or anything, just made me like him more.
Rating: 2 Tigole Bitties
4th overall - Modern Duke - CB - Louisiana Purchase
The fucking Colorado Yeti. After you first get past looking at the 2nd round flop that is Wolfie McDummy who clearly cannot ever show he is a good quarterback but now he is using his own bank account to buy Louisana?!
Okay, in all seriousness. I expect this one will be a tad fairly biased in this article. But I did personally want Zach Hall for us. Mainly for selfish reasons but I feel those were valid but after getting cucked in the 2nd overall pick I was more than happy for us to get the best CB in the draft.
A few seasons ago the Colorado Yeti were 1-500 and doing what the Colorado Yeti have done a lot historically. However, this season this all changed when Bubba Thumper moved up and Laszlo Forty-Two finally decided to move his Hungarian Third Person talking ass to the major leagues as well. The Bubba42 Effect. The Bubba42 era. However, this is the draft to really be all in on. The Yeti want to finish out core and in this draft a lot of puzzle pieces just simply fit well with us. The first piece for us is the Louisana Purchase.
When this guy hits his prime the league will be fucking annoyed with the fact they do not have him on whatever team they are on and by then he will have a core that is already hitting its prime as well. The future is very bright in a couple of seasons for the Yeti and adding this great dude into our locker room will only make us better and the future brighter. I am genuinely very happy with this pick up.
Oh and once again incidentally...Anyone else notice how many fucking Marshalls are on the Colorado Yeti and here I am. Send help!
Rating: 7 Development Simulation Football League Ultiminis.
5th Overall - Bex - RB - Marcella T?riki
The other Sea Wolves player! Yes, you heard it here first. The Sea Wolves have had 2 great players! I personally do not know her. I have seen she is pretty active in the rookie discord before Scouts lost all human rights and talks in the main National Simulation Football League discord. My boi Bubba Thumper seems to know her a lot better and says she is a great person so I am glad she is going as the Highest RB in the draft. This honestly is out of my knowledge. I do not know running game whatsoever past making a beast on Madden 08 for the Vikings and averaging 20 yards per run in a game for an xbox achievement which probably qualifies me as an armchair pundit so I will go on record as to say that Bex will average 20 yards per attempt in a single game in her rookie season (I do not know if she is moving up this season but whenever her rookie major season is) and win rookie of the season!
Overhyping a side I do think she will do very well and I am not surprised she went this highly. A lot of teams did want her after some of the bigger guns were taken.
6th Overall - Dylan Deluxe - LB - Thudd Kassel
The future leader of the Tijuana Luchadores! Unless that was all a dream but I am confident about that. I love this guy. I think he will not only do a great job for the Luchadores (Plus he will get advice from a great alumni of former players if he even needs it) but also be a bloody good Line Backer.
Honestly, I find it funny that a lot of the New Orlean Second Line are like the Colorado Yeti but with the Luchadores. I am on the wrong team! Plus I must say they have a good core going forwards and I could in a few seasons time easily see both of our teams making the finals against each other.
I think overall that the Colorado Yeti and New Orlean Second Line were the biggest winners of this draft based off everything as a full picture. Not that a lot of teams did not also pick up great talent but with these 2 picks New Orleans got 2 very good players and the Colorado Yeti also did very well.
Damn near all but one team truly gained in this 1. I err...I used to be a little sad Chicago did not take me 2nd overall but now that they have lost both of those guys I think they probably regret not taking someone who will take minimum contracts and be a 1 man team lol
Overall though I think Dylan will shine with the New Orlean Second Line and if I was going to pick an ideal spot for him team wise it would have to be them. Already knows the team well, they can help them and just basically means that New Orleans Second Line have the best Development Simulation Football League team as a mini farm. (Whilst the Colorado Yeti get the San Antonio Marshalls. The similarities never stop!)
Rating: A thudd-erous round of applause.
7th Overall - Bacon Brother - LB - Maurice Virtanen
From DD to BB. Yellow Knife Wraiths pick up the second Line back of the draft one position after. I am fairly sure they knew they were getting this one. The real quick is how will the young Maurice react to being team mates with Ryan Leaf Jr. Does he even like Leaf Jr Juice?!
I genuinely detest when I read these sort of media things and it is literally just “I think this is a good pick up” with a sort of generic reason as to why that could be if they stay active. The team needed that position, etc. But the sad truth I have to face is I do also think this a long with damn near all the top 10 picks that I do know about the player are from what limited knowledge I have is a pretty good pick-up.
I wanna say like this 1 will end in drama or the locker room burning down but I do not think this will happen. This might not be as fun of a read but he should do well and prove he is a good 1st round pick. It will be interesting to see what 1 of the 3 Line Backers who were taken in the 1st round end up doing the best and having the best career. But hindsight is for another drama.
Rating: Videl-San in Pro Baseball Experience
8th overall - Jsteele14 - S - Pete Parker
The Colorado Yeti traded up to get the man who needs a new uncle. He is a safety which makes sense since Peter knows with great power comes great responsibility. This was one of the better defensive players in the draft in my opinion so for us to get him 8th overall is a true testament to how good this draft class is.
I do not really want to tell you happened behind the scenes but Sony and Disney just refusing to comply made this look like it was not going to happen for the Colorado Yeti. However, when we proposed that we could make both a lot of money playing him as a safety they buckled instantly. They know a great deal when they see one and thanks to us Spiderman 3 will happen. You are welcome Marvel Cinematic Universe fans.
What does Mr. Parker actually bring to the locker room though? Well, Gwen Stacey is hot but this might not be the right version for that. But Mary Jane Watson is also cute albeit has issues would be considered a great plus if not for the fact this means Venom, the Green Goblin, Sandman and a few other villians may now attack Denver. Doc Ock is perfectly fine though, assuming it is Spider Man 2’s version. Hell, Lazzy may even join forces with you. He also brings speed and strength to the team which the latter was needed since only Laszlo was a powerhouse beforehand.
Peter has roughly 60 meters of webbing and can move pretty fast when he wants to be. Also Peter has shown himself to be able to hold or lift roughly 40 tons worth of weight albeit this has been shown to be inconsistent throughout his comic books. Also let us be real here, the god damn spider sense thing will truly be over powered in this league, especially at safety. I dunno, I feel the league man ban him from using it but then how do you change that from just human reactions. Good luck head office.
Rating: The emo Peter Parker dancing gif.
9th Overall - VRTX L4S3R - CB - Korrin Abernathy
If I am being honest still, I do not know much about this player at all. Well past seeing a couple of posts randomly in discord and the forum. What I do know is that the Orange County Otters also had a bloody good draft. The issue with this though is that we all know that the league is suffering from 7-6itus. If you have been living under a rock this basically means the winner of the league come play-offs must be a 7-6 team. I fear that this will be the final nail in the Otter coffin for winning the league as they should easily have sadly more than 8 wins going forward.
This good core they have added will mean they are able to compete for a long time I feel. I assume they might have needed to get a CB too? No clue like, just assuming but if they did not need anyone in this position they are at least sorted later on!
Rating: A thumbs up because I do not know what else to say about something and someone I do not know about
10th Overall - Upper Net - LB - Net Gaines
The third line back to go in the draft so far goes at number 10, the final 1st round pick and to Austin. This is a great pick up for them as I remember hearing someone say they really needed one. Whilst I do believe just based off everything like stats and locker room presence, etc the other two do beat him I will say I think Upper is a great pick up for them. I could make a net gain joke round about now but I imagine this has been done to death and I would much prefer to say that Austin + Stonks = upwards direction.
Rating: Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your draft
This ends the collab media between myself and BWestfield. This was fun and I hope you all enjoyed reading it.
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