The feed cuts in with an establishing shot of a football field. The camera starts on the goalposts, framing the lights that are bright and a clearly visible moon. A cut to a scoreboard that’s powered off. A cut to a totally empty section of the stands, and another, and another. A steady “HUMPH! HUMPH!” like a body hitting a tackling dummy can be heard. Finally, the camera cuts to the field, angled towards the home locker room. Two men on the field, a coach wielding a clipboard with the Luchadores logo tattooed all over his hat and a larger man wearing full gear, slamming against a red tackling dummy
The body collides against the red dummy once more, an it rises suddenly, then drops. The man in pads lifts up the dummy, hands it off to his coach, and sets up once again. The camera slowly zooms as a name becomes visible between strikes of the tackling dummies. ARIANLACHER, a name barely visible amongst the crimson streak that he is while continuing his drill. Almost as if instinctively noticing the camera, he tackles low on the dummy and flips it over his head in something that looks like a pseudo-wrestling move. Ripping off his helmet and wearing a goofy grin, he points at the camera drone and mouths something. The audio captures the words.
“That one’s for you,” Mack says, still wearing a goofy grin.
Mack Arianlacher is one of the prospects coming up that’s turning heads in this upcoming draft. Unlike some of the other prospects, Mack isn’t a known quantity — a thought that might be scary to some folks — but has found a track record of success down in the DSFL. He’s hoping that that will translate to a solid position in this upcoming draft.
Interviewer: A lot of the newer prospects are getting nods in mock drafts and the like, and you’re no different. In fact, you seem to be going, consistently, up in the top 3 and sometimes even first overall. Does that excite you at all?
Mack: Honestly? Yeah. I’ve read all the articles and I know all the advice to not get too excited, and to not get your hopes up, but it’s hard not to. It seems like every time I turn on the TV, its someone with a hot take about me and why I’m better than everyone else or not as good as everyone else. I take that as a complement. I don’t know how the GM’s feel about me. I guess the only thing that I do know is that all the people that pass me up are gonna be real sorry.
Interviewer: Is that a promise or a threat?
Mack: Haha, no it’s nothing like that. It’s just that people are gonna be kicking themselves when or if they let me drop any distance in this draft.
Interviewer: How can you be so sure about that?
Mack: I’m basically powered by two things: jokes and pure spite. I already know that I’m gonna be a powerful linebacker or defensive tackle that’s gonna make teams dread games where they have to face me. I got the drive and determination to do so, and I train harder than almost anyone else.
Interviewer: Wow, this is a new side of you that I haven’t seen in any of the interviews so far! People are saying that you don’t take this draft seriously enough, do you have any response to that?
Mack: I mean, not really. Are people actually saying that? That’s fine, that’s their opinion. I guess I haven’t really proven myself yet, so it’s a fair thing to say. I’ll make sure to buy a couple of those people a jersey once I make it big, though. I’ll sign it too. Pure spite baby! (Mack grins at the camera again)
Interviewer: You also mentioned that you’d be a “linebacker or a defensive tackle” in the NSFL. However, on the draft boards, your listed as a linebacker. Care to explain?
Mack: Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for the press conference like everyone else. I appreciate the effort, and I’ll try to call you out in the crowd. But my agent would kill me if I gave anyone a sneak peak, that’s going to be my big PR stunt on the day of the draft to try and swing opinion in my favor!
Mack Arianlacher is all about intelligence — he tries to be in the right place to make a tackle whenever he can. As a young player, he can still struggle with that in big game situations, but he works everyday to improve himself.
Interviewer: Why do you practice for so long every night?
Mack: Honestly I think all the big football players do it. It’s a great way to improve yourself in a situation where you don’t necessarily feel comfortable, and so I got a trainer to come out with me and watch my form. Hopefully, the scouts take notice.
Interviewer: Was that a Luchadores sponsored late night practice? Are your trainers being paid?
Mack: Ma’am, I’ve been spending all night for the past few weeks on the field. I’d be a real [censored] if I dragged a trainer out here to watch my form when he’s on his own time. Luckily, my GM’s are fantastic and super conducive to my goals so they help me out whenever they can. That’s why those night practices happen — so the trainers can give me full attention.
Interviewer: You also had a brother —
Mack: I have two brothers. Nothing’s happened to them yet!
Interviewer: Of course. My apologies. You have a brother who played baseball with you for a few years. How have they been reacting to your success?
Mack: My brothers and I have always — always — been as thick as thieves. Honestly, however far out of Chicago I go, one of them will probably come with me. They both work as something with a lot of job mobility — but I can’t say what it is.
Interviewer: That sounds… mysterious! What does he do?
Mack: Are you serious? I… I just told you I can’t say what it is.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, regardless, there’s been quite a bit of hubbub around the league about your play in the DSFL. Some reports call you a journeyman, and some call you a lynchpin in any defense. What do you consider yourself to be?
Mack: Honestly, I’m probably closer to a journeyman than a big play superstar. I guess few people want to see that, but I’m trying to be a solid guy to lock down the center of any field or to cause some major backfield disruption, depending on where I play. Obviously, I want to be a superstar, but that’ll come from practice and experience, and, while I have abundant amounts of the former, I have next to none of the latter. It will take a significant amount of time and effort in the league for me to call myself a superstar. Then, we can talk more.
In the DSFL, Arianlacher was part of one of the premier defensive units in the Luchadores. With weapons such as Lazer-Eyes, Ryan and Lopez, opponents were hard-pressed to score against a team that ended up going 13-1. However, an unceremonious first round exit for one of the most dominant DSFL teams of recent memory is mentioned when discussing Mack, especially since he was on the field when Hanyadi broke it loose for the game winning touchdown.
Interviewer: How do you feel that such a dominant DSFL team wasn’t able to bring home the Ultimini? Are you upset?
Mack: I mean, obviously. That’s kind of a goofy question. That loss is going to sting until I win something major of my own. It’s not like I wake up in a cold sweat seeing Hanyadi slip out of my grip or anything, but yeah, I think about it a lot. What could’ve been. But it was a whole bunch of factors that came together. Jackson, a dominant kicker, missed a 39 yarder. Dotson gained 3 yards when we needed 4. Our defense let up its biggest play of the year. We couldn’t make the tackle when we needed it.
Interviewer: How do you recover from that? How do you assure teams that you’ve learned a lesson from it?
Mack: Honestly, it’s tough to reassure teams when you screw up like that. In football terms, it’s what we call a “big f*ck*ng mistake.” I just gotta hope they see the rest of the tape and they realize that that’s not me. That’s not who I am. I’m a far better football player and teammate than what that play showed. I hope that we can come to an agreement that I’m a top caliber player with one bad play.
Interviewer: Do you wish you had that back?
Mack: Yeah, I do. But that’s what I’ll just have to remember when I find myself in the Ultimini or in the Ultimus: you can never have those plays back.
As Mack trains for the season, lets analyze some of his stats but first, lets talk about a rumor that we heard around the grapevine. According to top NSFL scouts, Mack has expressed interest in a possible position switch to Defensive Tackle or Defensive End if necessary. That would be huge for whatever team drafts him — if he plays there, he could have massive playmaking ability. We may be looking at the birth of another star here folks.
His stats in the DSFL are nothing to scoff at. 90 tackles over 14 games average just over 6 tackles per game. Couple that with 2 forced fumbles, 1 sack, a tackle for loss, and 3 pass deflections for a first year linebacker? We think that that’s pretty good. While he may not have the flashiest statline — no pick-sixes or big sacks or anything like that — he is a journeyman already, and he can only get better. This is Interviewer Interviewer, for Interviewer News Network (INN), signing off. See you tomorrow, for our full week coverage of the NSFL Draft.
The body collides against the red dummy once more, an it rises suddenly, then drops. The man in pads lifts up the dummy, hands it off to his coach, and sets up once again. The camera slowly zooms as a name becomes visible between strikes of the tackling dummies. ARIANLACHER, a name barely visible amongst the crimson streak that he is while continuing his drill. Almost as if instinctively noticing the camera, he tackles low on the dummy and flips it over his head in something that looks like a pseudo-wrestling move. Ripping off his helmet and wearing a goofy grin, he points at the camera drone and mouths something. The audio captures the words.
“That one’s for you,” Mack says, still wearing a goofy grin.
Mack Arianlacher is one of the prospects coming up that’s turning heads in this upcoming draft. Unlike some of the other prospects, Mack isn’t a known quantity — a thought that might be scary to some folks — but has found a track record of success down in the DSFL. He’s hoping that that will translate to a solid position in this upcoming draft.
Interviewer: A lot of the newer prospects are getting nods in mock drafts and the like, and you’re no different. In fact, you seem to be going, consistently, up in the top 3 and sometimes even first overall. Does that excite you at all?
Mack: Honestly? Yeah. I’ve read all the articles and I know all the advice to not get too excited, and to not get your hopes up, but it’s hard not to. It seems like every time I turn on the TV, its someone with a hot take about me and why I’m better than everyone else or not as good as everyone else. I take that as a complement. I don’t know how the GM’s feel about me. I guess the only thing that I do know is that all the people that pass me up are gonna be real sorry.
Interviewer: Is that a promise or a threat?
Mack: Haha, no it’s nothing like that. It’s just that people are gonna be kicking themselves when or if they let me drop any distance in this draft.
Interviewer: How can you be so sure about that?
Mack: I’m basically powered by two things: jokes and pure spite. I already know that I’m gonna be a powerful linebacker or defensive tackle that’s gonna make teams dread games where they have to face me. I got the drive and determination to do so, and I train harder than almost anyone else.
Interviewer: Wow, this is a new side of you that I haven’t seen in any of the interviews so far! People are saying that you don’t take this draft seriously enough, do you have any response to that?
Mack: I mean, not really. Are people actually saying that? That’s fine, that’s their opinion. I guess I haven’t really proven myself yet, so it’s a fair thing to say. I’ll make sure to buy a couple of those people a jersey once I make it big, though. I’ll sign it too. Pure spite baby! (Mack grins at the camera again)
Interviewer: You also mentioned that you’d be a “linebacker or a defensive tackle” in the NSFL. However, on the draft boards, your listed as a linebacker. Care to explain?
Mack: Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for the press conference like everyone else. I appreciate the effort, and I’ll try to call you out in the crowd. But my agent would kill me if I gave anyone a sneak peak, that’s going to be my big PR stunt on the day of the draft to try and swing opinion in my favor!
Mack Arianlacher is all about intelligence — he tries to be in the right place to make a tackle whenever he can. As a young player, he can still struggle with that in big game situations, but he works everyday to improve himself.
Interviewer: Why do you practice for so long every night?
Mack: Honestly I think all the big football players do it. It’s a great way to improve yourself in a situation where you don’t necessarily feel comfortable, and so I got a trainer to come out with me and watch my form. Hopefully, the scouts take notice.
Interviewer: Was that a Luchadores sponsored late night practice? Are your trainers being paid?
Mack: Ma’am, I’ve been spending all night for the past few weeks on the field. I’d be a real [censored] if I dragged a trainer out here to watch my form when he’s on his own time. Luckily, my GM’s are fantastic and super conducive to my goals so they help me out whenever they can. That’s why those night practices happen — so the trainers can give me full attention.
Interviewer: You also had a brother —
Mack: I have two brothers. Nothing’s happened to them yet!
Interviewer: Of course. My apologies. You have a brother who played baseball with you for a few years. How have they been reacting to your success?
Mack: My brothers and I have always — always — been as thick as thieves. Honestly, however far out of Chicago I go, one of them will probably come with me. They both work as something with a lot of job mobility — but I can’t say what it is.
Interviewer: That sounds… mysterious! What does he do?
Mack: Are you serious? I… I just told you I can’t say what it is.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, regardless, there’s been quite a bit of hubbub around the league about your play in the DSFL. Some reports call you a journeyman, and some call you a lynchpin in any defense. What do you consider yourself to be?
Mack: Honestly, I’m probably closer to a journeyman than a big play superstar. I guess few people want to see that, but I’m trying to be a solid guy to lock down the center of any field or to cause some major backfield disruption, depending on where I play. Obviously, I want to be a superstar, but that’ll come from practice and experience, and, while I have abundant amounts of the former, I have next to none of the latter. It will take a significant amount of time and effort in the league for me to call myself a superstar. Then, we can talk more.
In the DSFL, Arianlacher was part of one of the premier defensive units in the Luchadores. With weapons such as Lazer-Eyes, Ryan and Lopez, opponents were hard-pressed to score against a team that ended up going 13-1. However, an unceremonious first round exit for one of the most dominant DSFL teams of recent memory is mentioned when discussing Mack, especially since he was on the field when Hanyadi broke it loose for the game winning touchdown.
Interviewer: How do you feel that such a dominant DSFL team wasn’t able to bring home the Ultimini? Are you upset?
Mack: I mean, obviously. That’s kind of a goofy question. That loss is going to sting until I win something major of my own. It’s not like I wake up in a cold sweat seeing Hanyadi slip out of my grip or anything, but yeah, I think about it a lot. What could’ve been. But it was a whole bunch of factors that came together. Jackson, a dominant kicker, missed a 39 yarder. Dotson gained 3 yards when we needed 4. Our defense let up its biggest play of the year. We couldn’t make the tackle when we needed it.
Interviewer: How do you recover from that? How do you assure teams that you’ve learned a lesson from it?
Mack: Honestly, it’s tough to reassure teams when you screw up like that. In football terms, it’s what we call a “big f*ck*ng mistake.” I just gotta hope they see the rest of the tape and they realize that that’s not me. That’s not who I am. I’m a far better football player and teammate than what that play showed. I hope that we can come to an agreement that I’m a top caliber player with one bad play.
Interviewer: Do you wish you had that back?
Mack: Yeah, I do. But that’s what I’ll just have to remember when I find myself in the Ultimini or in the Ultimus: you can never have those plays back.
As Mack trains for the season, lets analyze some of his stats but first, lets talk about a rumor that we heard around the grapevine. According to top NSFL scouts, Mack has expressed interest in a possible position switch to Defensive Tackle or Defensive End if necessary. That would be huge for whatever team drafts him — if he plays there, he could have massive playmaking ability. We may be looking at the birth of another star here folks.
His stats in the DSFL are nothing to scoff at. 90 tackles over 14 games average just over 6 tackles per game. Couple that with 2 forced fumbles, 1 sack, a tackle for loss, and 3 pass deflections for a first year linebacker? We think that that’s pretty good. While he may not have the flashiest statline — no pick-sixes or big sacks or anything like that — he is a journeyman already, and he can only get better. This is Interviewer Interviewer, for Interviewer News Network (INN), signing off. See you tomorrow, for our full week coverage of the NSFL Draft.
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