[This is 2580 words long and ready to be graded. Enjoy]
Hello and welcome to 1 of the bravest (Read: Dumbest) threads ever attempted in National Simulation Football League. In media we usually have people give whatever opinions they have on whatever the teams end up drafting. All from different positions teams may need to what inactive players they are hoping spring to life to damn near everything in between.
Usually they are from really smart people like Isa and that other bloke. But they have data and predictions from experience to back them up and that is for pussys!
No, I was going to play this safe and list off the close to 300 new players and try to make it qualify for the times 1.5 media (Turns out I missed it when I rechecked anyway, so even a better reason!) but I was having no look and resident Swag Sloth told me this:
"Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:08 PM)
no
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:09 PM)
swag pls ;_;
how am i supposed to know these players and write a cheap ass media no-one will read
nakkiCry
Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:10 PM)
just make shit up yo
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:11 PM)
wait, i can
...just make shit up?
Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:11 PM)
do you think you'll get punished?
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:12 PM)
no, but i assumed i wouldn't get x1 if i made players up
but i'll do it swag, i'll predict season 24 for you!"
I then quickly realised that Season 24 was one of the worst draft classes in NSFL history. (Quote me on it!)
So I had to go deeper. So I will be predicting and judging the draft class of Season 27.
1st overall - Yellow knife Wraiths
- Carlos Coto - TE
What can you say about the man who was clearly robbed of the DFSL's Most Valuable Player away? His stats really speak for himself and I have heard that he is already in Wraiths' locker room and the chemistry is going well. You know with him having one of the best TPE in the whole class he is built to last and when he finally comes up from the Tijuana Luchadores he will be a monster for them. This is the person they need to really get back to winning divisional ways.
I do not really know Tight End builds that well but from what I can tell and heard his build is just really strong. I am really happy he went 1st overall too. Not many people I would've picked over him in terms of forum members that should have gone 1st overall. Respect.
2nd overall - Vancouver Orlanders via Seattle Screamers :Orlanders: via :screamers: - Marshall Sims - SS
First off, I genuinely love the updated logo that they have introduced. Way better than the shitty original one. AdamS continues to move the team forward after trading up for Marshall Sims. The clear best defending position player is going to the team that needs a safety. He will be able to really shine for this team and make a name for himself I am sure.
Seattle basically get Ryan Leaf III for this pick and whilst he might be a Most Valuable Player award contender as a kicker, I feel Marshall can really make Seattle's god awful time in the league continue if he ends up being a great safety.
3rd overall - Austin Copperheads
- Malik Wright - QB
Easton Cole (BAYBAAAAY) retiring due to finding a love for wrestling a couple of seasons ago should not really shock anyone that after the last QB they drafted last season retired instantly that they needed to get the best QB in this draft. Malik is lacking TPE compared to a few that will be going in the 1st overall in later lists but it just makes sense to take it. He could become an elite QB and rehelp this now lacking team go back to the days they won back-to-back titles in the early 20 seasons.
4th overall - Denver Big Feet :feet: - Artell Williams - WR
Look, this is going to be an awkward little writing section with the friction and broken friendship between me and Head Office Overlord Infinite. I could bring up how I was right about the rebranding to just have Denver was an awful idea and an even worse logo but no need for this to turn into an SHL media.
It also does not help that my old team is drafting a Wide Receiver, my old position. I like the dude who made Artell, he is a good egg but they needed other things more in my opinion and they already have a good couple of WR from lower draft picks in previous drafts. Just not a huge fan but they will have a quality player. About as much as I can realistically say without this just turning into something bigger.
5th overall - Vancouver Orlanders :Orlanders: - Harold Jones - RB
Kolbe goes 5th overall! It is a bit shocking to me to see someone drop to 5th overall but needs must above like I said above. I think this 1st round that Vancouver is having is really making it hard to disagree with that they did not win outright with this draft. Two solid (at least) 1st rounders and that (In my opinion) steal in the 7th of the new guy I can never remember the name of, plus others, should be hard to argue someone else won.
6th overall - Arizona Outlaws
- Toothpaste - DE
What can I say about toothpaste that has not already been said, guys? I could talk about toothpaste all day really. He is making it genuinely hard to not break this into a 3 parter so I will keep it brief. Though lacking in TPE compared to the big guns everyone knew toothpaste was essential to the 1st round. That shining sparkle of a smile we have all grown accustom to seeing dominate.
He takes the words Defensive End literally. He will end any offense and stop his team from being on the defense. I can see toothpaste being a Hall of Famer if he is a max earner and very few would disagree.
7th overall - New Orleans Second Line
- Sheriff Woody - CB
NOLA got a friend in him. Yes, even though Tom Hanks said he was ready to join a new team with a new player, he ended up dominating for the Luchadores and finds himself back in New Orleans. I do not know if he will be a part of the war room again or just stay as a player but the fact he dropped this far is fairly shocking to me. He is a great friend and he will never give up on you.
Also, his new render of Woody with the scene he had his head burning cracks me up. Great pick and will be a great CB.
8th overall - Philly Liberty
- Milton Case - OL
I think if I was writing this in the teen seasons everyone would have laughed at an Offensive Liner going in the first round. Especially when we all know Philly need a better defending line up if they want to do more than just make play-offs and lose like the last 2 seasons. But after the season 24 changes to OL everyone can agree that this is an amazing pick up!
The one thing you could argue they did need on offense was another OL who was a max earner. So having Milton will truly make them one of the best attacking teams going forward. Honestly if I was them I'd trade away next seasons picks for some quality defending players and you could dynasty quite easily.
9th overall - Denver Big Feet via San Jose Sabre Cats :Feet: via
- Chris Wong - K
...A kicker. Really guys? It is almost like you were trolling. First off, this trade I think really sets up the sabre cats as a force to be reckoned with next season and they look like they have a lot of good youngsters on minimum contracts after really looking at the details of it all. I feel like they could be a contender for a long time.
Now for the elephant in the room. Why him? I REALLY do not wanna shit talk this pick cause I am sure he is a nice bloke but he is not even the best kicker in the draft! Jeremy Pointer has 39 TPE over him and actually has a bank account that beats him by 5 times!
People keep memeing this pick in other medias and trying to justify it but the fact he entered the league and put his starting points in arms should be an indication this is a bad move. I share most logical peoples opinion, sorry. I wish you guys well but poor build, poor TPE and poor 9th overall pick. The winner of this trade is always the sabre cats.
10th overall - Balitmore Hawks
- Clyde Lemon - LB
The Lemonator. The best LB in the draft goes to a team that will need to replace the MVP LB eventually. Just makes logical sense they would get him. I can imagine if some of the bigger names in this draft were around like toothpaste or Marshall Sims were around they would have no issue saying fuck you to the Lemon Demon.
But they should be extremely happy to get someone who will thrive and shine for him. I have heard he was a bit of a cancer in the Kansas City Coyotes locker room and that is why they lost every home game but I think that might be because they are the Coyotes and always do poorly.
11th overall - Orange County Otters
- FORFEIT - Pick dead as fuck after OtterGate which found them trying to pay off the butchers in the final AND successfully paying Yellowknife off in those season finals in a row during the late teen seasons.
Not much I can say about this pick. Just sad to see OtterGate go down really. We really should have seen this coming though ages back cause how could the same team lose final after final after final all the time! Seems fairly obvious in hindsight really.
12th overall - Chicago Butchers
- Donald Trump - QB
Yes the team that won the championship via default have now started to draft for the future as well. It makes sense. Malik was easily a better QB when you compare TPE and stats, him joining at an awful time in the league really hurt him but since joining you cannot deny his activity levels in the league discord and how he has been a max earner. They need a QB sooner or later so I actually respect to pick up at #12. Get what you need when you are up. Getting the bloke who went 13th would not make sense since he is playing in a position that the Butchers dominate in already with a young Janear 'Jafar' Jawhereveryouare in DT for them.
13th overall - Yellow Knife Wraiths - Jonathon Sherman - DT
Welcome to the second round people! We start it off with the best Defensive Tackle somehow. A great pick up for the Wraiths. I believe at this point he is in fact the best player remaining in the draft so it does make a lot of sense I guess. I do not really know who they have in DT already off top of my head but to be honest I stopped following random names from season 16 onwards until this one. A good pick up and good TPE earner.
14th overall - Seattle Screamers :screamers: - Videl-San - K
I would be pissed off if another kicker was going super high but this is a General Manager pick up and clearly Seattle were not gunning for anyone in this draft for some reason. Being brutally honest, I do not really get the huge recent drama of the waifu wars between Jiggly saying Bulma, this kid saying Videl and then Ryan Leaf losing his absolute shit at both of them for either being wrong or stealing his Videl waifu.
Especially when we all know that Andriod 18 is the best waifu closely followed by Tien. Come the fuck on guys, open your third eyes.
15th overall - Austin Copperheads - Randy Terry - LB
Shit pick. Yeah, I genuinely said it. I genuinely do not believe the hype that some of you idiots are giving him. May I remind you all that he was not even the best LB in the draft and Austin need anything BUT a god damn LB in this draft. Maybe I am missing one small piece of information like they will trade the good LB they have for something they need or they want to focus defending players going forward now that they have the franchise QB. But I say that is horse shit and a bad excuse.
You messed up picking I know you did. So many better players you could have picked up
16th overall - Denver Big Feet :feet: - Bubba "BT3" Thumpington III - RB
Finally something positive to say about them! I like this pick a lot. It makes sense for the team and it is better than both picks above them. The only issue with this is we all know it is Woelker's third player after getting bored of being an OL. They were locked into taking him. It reminds me a lot of my old player Laszlo Forty-Two draft. Meh WR as a 1st rounder + person you know will be great quality going forwards for Denver.
But in that draft YOU DID NOT PICK A FUCKING KICKER FIRST ROUND WHEN HE IS NOT EVEN THE BEST KICKER TO CHOOSE FROM! God! Anyway, I love this man and he will be a good player for them. I think that much is obvious.
17th overall - Seattle Screamers via Vancouver Orlanders :screamers: via :orlanders: - Randy Keith Orton - WR
From outta nowhere! An RKO! Yes, I guess Randy Orton decided to give up wrestling to become a Wide Reciever. I actually love his build but that is because he is using one of the better builds for it. His hands basically mean once he grabs a ball his is RKOing the fuck out of it and getting quality yards. Hard to argue against the apex predator, the viper, the legend killer!
I still do not know if picking Randy up makes the whole trade worth it buuut I have been wrong before about players so he has a good shot of being a great player for Seattle. God knows they bloody need them.
18th overall - Arizona Outlaws - Tom Aston - CB
This will sadly be my last pick doing for this draft purely because my dial up was messing up on the Mixer stream and I had to go to bed cause it was 30 minutes past my bed time as it was at the time of draft. I think Tom is...Yeah, a good pick. Fucking terrible render whoever that player is though.
Overall, this draft has some insane talent in it. Like some regens and quality players and do not forget about toothpaste. I can see this class having the most Hall of Famers for a long time. I hope you can agree with my opinion or we might have to fight about it online or at the very least enjoyed reading this draft review.
Until the next draft review, good bye!
Hello and welcome to 1 of the bravest (Read: Dumbest) threads ever attempted in National Simulation Football League. In media we usually have people give whatever opinions they have on whatever the teams end up drafting. All from different positions teams may need to what inactive players they are hoping spring to life to damn near everything in between.
Usually they are from really smart people like Isa and that other bloke. But they have data and predictions from experience to back them up and that is for pussys!
No, I was going to play this safe and list off the close to 300 new players and try to make it qualify for the times 1.5 media (Turns out I missed it when I rechecked anyway, so even a better reason!) but I was having no look and resident Swag Sloth told me this:
"Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:08 PM)
no
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:09 PM)
swag pls ;_;
how am i supposed to know these players and write a cheap ass media no-one will read
nakkiCry
Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:10 PM)
just make shit up yo
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:11 PM)
wait, i can
...just make shit up?
Sloth, Jim Waters’ Mentor (Today at 8:11 PM)
do you think you'll get punished?
Laszlo Forty-Two (Today at 8:12 PM)
no, but i assumed i wouldn't get x1 if i made players up
but i'll do it swag, i'll predict season 24 for you!"
I then quickly realised that Season 24 was one of the worst draft classes in NSFL history. (Quote me on it!)
So I had to go deeper. So I will be predicting and judging the draft class of Season 27.
1st overall - Yellow knife Wraiths
- Carlos Coto - TEWhat can you say about the man who was clearly robbed of the DFSL's Most Valuable Player away? His stats really speak for himself and I have heard that he is already in Wraiths' locker room and the chemistry is going well. You know with him having one of the best TPE in the whole class he is built to last and when he finally comes up from the Tijuana Luchadores he will be a monster for them. This is the person they need to really get back to winning divisional ways.
I do not really know Tight End builds that well but from what I can tell and heard his build is just really strong. I am really happy he went 1st overall too. Not many people I would've picked over him in terms of forum members that should have gone 1st overall. Respect.
2nd overall - Vancouver Orlanders via Seattle Screamers :Orlanders: via :screamers: - Marshall Sims - SS
First off, I genuinely love the updated logo that they have introduced. Way better than the shitty original one. AdamS continues to move the team forward after trading up for Marshall Sims. The clear best defending position player is going to the team that needs a safety. He will be able to really shine for this team and make a name for himself I am sure.
Seattle basically get Ryan Leaf III for this pick and whilst he might be a Most Valuable Player award contender as a kicker, I feel Marshall can really make Seattle's god awful time in the league continue if he ends up being a great safety.
3rd overall - Austin Copperheads
- Malik Wright - QBEaston Cole (BAYBAAAAY) retiring due to finding a love for wrestling a couple of seasons ago should not really shock anyone that after the last QB they drafted last season retired instantly that they needed to get the best QB in this draft. Malik is lacking TPE compared to a few that will be going in the 1st overall in later lists but it just makes sense to take it. He could become an elite QB and rehelp this now lacking team go back to the days they won back-to-back titles in the early 20 seasons.
4th overall - Denver Big Feet :feet: - Artell Williams - WR
Look, this is going to be an awkward little writing section with the friction and broken friendship between me and Head Office Overlord Infinite. I could bring up how I was right about the rebranding to just have Denver was an awful idea and an even worse logo but no need for this to turn into an SHL media.
It also does not help that my old team is drafting a Wide Receiver, my old position. I like the dude who made Artell, he is a good egg but they needed other things more in my opinion and they already have a good couple of WR from lower draft picks in previous drafts. Just not a huge fan but they will have a quality player. About as much as I can realistically say without this just turning into something bigger.
5th overall - Vancouver Orlanders :Orlanders: - Harold Jones - RB
Kolbe goes 5th overall! It is a bit shocking to me to see someone drop to 5th overall but needs must above like I said above. I think this 1st round that Vancouver is having is really making it hard to disagree with that they did not win outright with this draft. Two solid (at least) 1st rounders and that (In my opinion) steal in the 7th of the new guy I can never remember the name of, plus others, should be hard to argue someone else won.
6th overall - Arizona Outlaws
- Toothpaste - DEWhat can I say about toothpaste that has not already been said, guys? I could talk about toothpaste all day really. He is making it genuinely hard to not break this into a 3 parter so I will keep it brief. Though lacking in TPE compared to the big guns everyone knew toothpaste was essential to the 1st round. That shining sparkle of a smile we have all grown accustom to seeing dominate.
He takes the words Defensive End literally. He will end any offense and stop his team from being on the defense. I can see toothpaste being a Hall of Famer if he is a max earner and very few would disagree.
7th overall - New Orleans Second Line
- Sheriff Woody - CBNOLA got a friend in him. Yes, even though Tom Hanks said he was ready to join a new team with a new player, he ended up dominating for the Luchadores and finds himself back in New Orleans. I do not know if he will be a part of the war room again or just stay as a player but the fact he dropped this far is fairly shocking to me. He is a great friend and he will never give up on you.
Also, his new render of Woody with the scene he had his head burning cracks me up. Great pick and will be a great CB.
8th overall - Philly Liberty
- Milton Case - OLI think if I was writing this in the teen seasons everyone would have laughed at an Offensive Liner going in the first round. Especially when we all know Philly need a better defending line up if they want to do more than just make play-offs and lose like the last 2 seasons. But after the season 24 changes to OL everyone can agree that this is an amazing pick up!
The one thing you could argue they did need on offense was another OL who was a max earner. So having Milton will truly make them one of the best attacking teams going forward. Honestly if I was them I'd trade away next seasons picks for some quality defending players and you could dynasty quite easily.
9th overall - Denver Big Feet via San Jose Sabre Cats :Feet: via
- Chris Wong - K...A kicker. Really guys? It is almost like you were trolling. First off, this trade I think really sets up the sabre cats as a force to be reckoned with next season and they look like they have a lot of good youngsters on minimum contracts after really looking at the details of it all. I feel like they could be a contender for a long time.
Now for the elephant in the room. Why him? I REALLY do not wanna shit talk this pick cause I am sure he is a nice bloke but he is not even the best kicker in the draft! Jeremy Pointer has 39 TPE over him and actually has a bank account that beats him by 5 times!
People keep memeing this pick in other medias and trying to justify it but the fact he entered the league and put his starting points in arms should be an indication this is a bad move. I share most logical peoples opinion, sorry. I wish you guys well but poor build, poor TPE and poor 9th overall pick. The winner of this trade is always the sabre cats.
10th overall - Balitmore Hawks
- Clyde Lemon - LBThe Lemonator. The best LB in the draft goes to a team that will need to replace the MVP LB eventually. Just makes logical sense they would get him. I can imagine if some of the bigger names in this draft were around like toothpaste or Marshall Sims were around they would have no issue saying fuck you to the Lemon Demon.
But they should be extremely happy to get someone who will thrive and shine for him. I have heard he was a bit of a cancer in the Kansas City Coyotes locker room and that is why they lost every home game but I think that might be because they are the Coyotes and always do poorly.
11th overall - Orange County Otters
- FORFEIT - Pick dead as fuck after OtterGate which found them trying to pay off the butchers in the final AND successfully paying Yellowknife off in those season finals in a row during the late teen seasons.Not much I can say about this pick. Just sad to see OtterGate go down really. We really should have seen this coming though ages back cause how could the same team lose final after final after final all the time! Seems fairly obvious in hindsight really.
12th overall - Chicago Butchers
- Donald Trump - QBYes the team that won the championship via default have now started to draft for the future as well. It makes sense. Malik was easily a better QB when you compare TPE and stats, him joining at an awful time in the league really hurt him but since joining you cannot deny his activity levels in the league discord and how he has been a max earner. They need a QB sooner or later so I actually respect to pick up at #12. Get what you need when you are up. Getting the bloke who went 13th would not make sense since he is playing in a position that the Butchers dominate in already with a young Janear 'Jafar' Jawhereveryouare in DT for them.
13th overall - Yellow Knife Wraiths
- Jonathon Sherman - DTWelcome to the second round people! We start it off with the best Defensive Tackle somehow. A great pick up for the Wraiths. I believe at this point he is in fact the best player remaining in the draft so it does make a lot of sense I guess. I do not really know who they have in DT already off top of my head but to be honest I stopped following random names from season 16 onwards until this one. A good pick up and good TPE earner.
14th overall - Seattle Screamers :screamers: - Videl-San - K
I would be pissed off if another kicker was going super high but this is a General Manager pick up and clearly Seattle were not gunning for anyone in this draft for some reason. Being brutally honest, I do not really get the huge recent drama of the waifu wars between Jiggly saying Bulma, this kid saying Videl and then Ryan Leaf losing his absolute shit at both of them for either being wrong or stealing his Videl waifu.
Especially when we all know that Andriod 18 is the best waifu closely followed by Tien. Come the fuck on guys, open your third eyes.
15th overall - Austin Copperheads
- Randy Terry - LBShit pick. Yeah, I genuinely said it. I genuinely do not believe the hype that some of you idiots are giving him. May I remind you all that he was not even the best LB in the draft and Austin need anything BUT a god damn LB in this draft. Maybe I am missing one small piece of information like they will trade the good LB they have for something they need or they want to focus defending players going forward now that they have the franchise QB. But I say that is horse shit and a bad excuse.
You messed up picking I know you did. So many better players you could have picked up
16th overall - Denver Big Feet :feet: - Bubba "BT3" Thumpington III - RB
Finally something positive to say about them! I like this pick a lot. It makes sense for the team and it is better than both picks above them. The only issue with this is we all know it is Woelker's third player after getting bored of being an OL. They were locked into taking him. It reminds me a lot of my old player Laszlo Forty-Two draft. Meh WR as a 1st rounder + person you know will be great quality going forwards for Denver.
But in that draft YOU DID NOT PICK A FUCKING KICKER FIRST ROUND WHEN HE IS NOT EVEN THE BEST KICKER TO CHOOSE FROM! God! Anyway, I love this man and he will be a good player for them. I think that much is obvious.
17th overall - Seattle Screamers via Vancouver Orlanders :screamers: via :orlanders: - Randy Keith Orton - WR
From outta nowhere! An RKO! Yes, I guess Randy Orton decided to give up wrestling to become a Wide Reciever. I actually love his build but that is because he is using one of the better builds for it. His hands basically mean once he grabs a ball his is RKOing the fuck out of it and getting quality yards. Hard to argue against the apex predator, the viper, the legend killer!
I still do not know if picking Randy up makes the whole trade worth it buuut I have been wrong before about players so he has a good shot of being a great player for Seattle. God knows they bloody need them.
18th overall - Arizona Outlaws
- Tom Aston - CBThis will sadly be my last pick doing for this draft purely because my dial up was messing up on the Mixer stream and I had to go to bed cause it was 30 minutes past my bed time as it was at the time of draft. I think Tom is...Yeah, a good pick. Fucking terrible render whoever that player is though.
Overall, this draft has some insane talent in it. Like some regens and quality players and do not forget about toothpaste. I can see this class having the most Hall of Famers for a long time. I hope you can agree with my opinion or we might have to fight about it online or at the very least enjoyed reading this draft review.
Until the next draft review, good bye!
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