04-02-2020, 01:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-02-2020, 01:22 PM by retrospace111.)
Everyone's favorite loud mouth CB has arrived to list his top draft destinations. I'll be ranking every single NSFL team based on how much I want to go there. Today is the last day of the DSFL regular season, and we are about to move into offseason activities with the NSFL pre-draft starting in a week or so. Most teams have done their scouting and the ones that haven't, oh well, too bad. I'm definitely tanking my draft stock by acting like a douche so I can become a bigger steal. Of course I'm not. I'm humored by the fact that my personality could even affect my draft stock. All my teammates know I'm extremely respectful within the LR and I'm a team player. I never talk shit in the LR. Only to you stinky buccaneers players (MB worst B). If you're seriously concerned about how I may act in the LR, talk to my GMs or fellow players of mine. Trust me, it's not going to turn into an SJJ situation. I'm getting snubbed in a lot of mocks, which is expected because of the general dislike towards me. I don't expect that to happen in the actual draft because I'm one of the best cornerbacks out there. I'm a lock for DBotY, and for the trash players out there who claim stats in the DSFL don't matter, let's see if those stats can replicate in the NSFL. If you want to only judge me off of my measurables, be my guest, but just know my talent translates to production on that field.
Without further ado, let's just jump right in.
Tier 1 (Teams that I would really like to go to)
1. Austin Copperheads
I was born in Austin, and was very excited once our town was chosen as one of the destinations for an expansion team. In my college years at UTEP, Austin started growing better, and in my junior year they finally won a championship, only a couple years after their introduction into the league. As I'm writing this now, the copperheads have clinched a playoff spot, their 2nd year in a row. I don't know how far they will go this year, but they have some big holes on their team, and one of those holes is in their secondary. I grew up watching Dermot Lavelle Jr. play, and it's crazy that I have a chance to line up next to him next season. Austin needs me, and I need them, but with their aggressive trade to get the 1OA pick, there are many rumors circulating around the DSFL community that Colt Mendoza will go first overall with that pick. If you didn't know, Colt Mendoza is also a cornerback, which means if Austin takes Mendoza with that pick, they probably won't need another cornerback. This saddens me and I hope the copperhead GMs are smart enough to take more than 1 CB in the draft. Look at how it worked for the Portland Pythons this last season, who went from a trash team to a Ultimini contender because they redid their secondary by using their top 3 picks on cornerbacks. I have always felt attracted to the Austin poop colors, I don't know why. I am a part of the pythons, so going to another snake team would be cool. I could use all the same terrible puns saba and toasty thought of. I like the Austin LR, it's semi-active, not MB levels of active, but still more active than the Portland LR. I don't think I've made enemies with the Austin GMs, so hopefully we are on good terms. I might have said a thing or two to Adam, but it was all in good fun, I hope. Regardless of all that, I want to go to Austin and be an immediate contributor there.
2. Philadelphia Liberty
This is a team that I was indifferent to when I started playing in the DSFL. They have since grown on me with their friendly GMs and players. Their team has a culture I would like to be a part of. What's even better? They need a cornerback, and I'm the perfect person for the job. For NSFL GMs reading this, I am strongly against the idea of being sent down for another year in the DSFL. I want to play in the NSFL immediately and get the reps I need to succeed. I want to be an immediate contributor that can help turn this team around. Philly finished with 3 wins only, and some pressing needs on their defense, which gave up 356 points over 13 games. This team needs a lot of things, but I'm confident that the GMs are competent enough to right the ship. Of course, this is just off of impressions I have by talking with them. Things might change a season or two in Philly, but who knows. Tim was the only GM who didn't just send a list of questions, he actually took time to talk to me, which I appreciated. This left an impression on me that no other team had achieved. I know they're interested in me, and I love me a team that wants me.
3. Baltimore Hawks
Duilio05 was the first NSFL GM that I talked to through discord, even before I got drafted in the DSFL. He seemed like a dope dude that I would like to play under. I have 101% confidence in that GM pair of Huskies and Duilio to lead this team through rough times. I love a team that can win games consistently, and the Hawks have been a good team for a while now. They went 9-4 this year, and I predict them to be Ultimus champions, but we'll see what the playoffs have in store for us. The Hawks as a team appeal to me with their logo and color scheme. I like the city and it's an amazing place to be. This is a team that has established a winning culture and I want in. Just like the above two teams, the Hawks also have a need at cornerback, and I could be the person to fill that need. If you haven't noticed by now, I like teams that have a need at cornerback because that means if I get drafted, I'm most likely going to start. Every team runs nickel, which means every team needs 3 CBs. I can be one of those starters. Like I said before, I am heavily against the idea of playing in the DSFL another year. I want to be an instant contributor. I am aware that Corvo Havran is going to be regressing and the Hawks will likely not be as good as they are now in the upcoming years, but like I said before, I am confident in the Hawks GMs to right the ship once it gets off course. The Hawks defense last year was good, but not the best. I hope to help change that.
Tier 2 (Teams that I would prefer going to over tier 3 & 4 & 5 teams)
4. Chicago Butchers
Woah Zamir, aren't you like, one of the people that hates Chicago and constantly shits on Valor/Steelsound/Jiggly? Boo hoo, I said some things that were interpreted as nasty but don't really represent my true feelings about the Chicago drama. I don't appreciate the way Valor and Steelsound managed the team near the end of their tenure, but I do feel sympathetic towards Steelsound. He seemed like a good guy and didn't deserve some of the nasty comments that were thrown his way, but it wasn't all unfounded. People made some poor decisions and there were a lot of repercussions, some unnecessary. Chicago was like the joke of the league in the NSFL. Most S22 rookies saw it as a terrible team that would not be contenders for a while. The LR was so inactive, and the team felt abandoned and uncared for. Some players on Chicago wanted out, and demanded trades/releases or they retired. While I appreciate what Jiggly did in Chicago, I also disliked the way he went around doing things. It wasn't his place to do what he did and commandeer the team, acting like HO was nothing, and he had privileges just because he had been in the league for so long. Oles is one of my teammates and I have to saw I was extremely intrigued by a Jiggly/Oles GMed team, and I even DMed jiggly on discord about how I would like to be a part of rebuilding Chicago and that I would be willing to go there. As expected(?), Jiggly didn't respond, which was understandable(again, ?). A lot of users were saying hateful things towards Jiggly, and I do respect his intentions for the team. But then things turned sour after they rejected the GM candidate that HO had picked. That's when it kind of got out of hand, and we got away from the rules here. The whole situation was a mess, and Jiggly got punished appropriately. Unfortunately, it seems like we drove him out of the league, just like with Steelsound. Sometimes we get so caught up in things, but we don't realize it's all for fun at the end of the day. This happened with me a couple of times, and no I'm not going apologize for what I said, I'm sorry if you interpreted my messages as hurtful. This was supposed to be about why I want to go to Chicago, but it just turned into a rant about the Chicago drama, sorry about that. Anyways, with the team in shambles, and I love this. I don't know much about the new GMs for Chicago, but I know they were chosen by the people, so I think that's a good thing? A lot of people have said good things about the new GMs, so I'm going to envision that these GMs are capable of turning this team around, even if it takes several season to do so. When I retire, I want to look back on my career and feel satisfied knowing that I helped turn around a team once I arrived. That with help from my presence, a pretender team became contenders. It would be really fun being a part of the rebuild, and that's something I want in on. Another amazing thing about Chicago is that they are in dire need of a cornerback. Ahri E. switched from WR to CB, but he announced his retirement, along with his departure from the league. I am the perfect cornerback for the job, but my only concern is that the Butchers do not have enough high round picks to choose me. I may be gone before the butchers choose a cornerback. If I do get picked by this team, I know it means I won't get sent down, and I'll be an instant contributor on a once lacking secondary.
5. Colorado Yeti
This one is a weird choice for me, as there are a lot of teams that I'm mostly indifferent about, but then there are those little things that separate teams out for me. The Yeti, to my knowledge, are in need of a cornerback. I don't think I need to say it again, but I like teams that need a CB, because I could be the person to plug that hole. The Yeti were very hyped up during preseason, and many predicted them to finish with the highest record overall. They finished a respectable 8-5, and we'll see how far they go in the playoffs, but this is a winning culture I would like to be a part of. Frick and Woelker are exceptionally active league figures who seem more than capable of running an NSFL team. I have more confidence in those 2 GMs than any others that those two can build a championship winning team. If I feel confident in a certain team's GMs, you can count me in for the long run. I'll sign long contracts at minimum salary if I need to because that's how confident I am in a team's ability to put themselves in reach of an Ultimus. The Yeti are in a similar position defensive-wise with the Hawks, both had good defenses this year, but not the best.
Tier 3 (Expansion teams)
Note: The reason the two expansion teams have an entire tier to themselves is because of how little I know of these teams. It would be problematic for me to rank them next to other teams, but their tier ranking at #3 is appropriate, as I would be happier going to the above 5 teams, but this could all change after expansion draft. New needs get formed. One of the biggest things I'm looking for in a team is an instant starter spot.
6. Honolulu Hahalua
I love saying this name out loud repeatedly, as it just rolls of the tongue beautifully. An expansion team in Hawaii? Count me in. If you read my DSFL edition of "Ideal Draft Destinations", then you know how I feel about expansion teams. Regardless, I will still explain to you how I feel about expansion teams in general. I want to be a founding member of an expansion team, or just something new that I can leave my legacy on. In 20 seasons, I hope for people to remember me as the best damn CB that expansion team X drafted. The GMs of the Honolulu Hahalua are Raven and ADwyer, both of who are really experienced in this league. ADwyer is a really dope person and I would love to play for his team. Raven's got the brains that maybe Dwyer is lacking, but in all seriousness, this GM duo is the real deal. In my short time here in the league, Raven has left one of the largest impressions on me. I feel very confident in this duo's ability to build an Ultimus caliber team. I have a feeling their LR is going to be very fun, and while I have declined to be in their LR as of now, it's nothing personal. I want to be a member of this expansion team very much because, depending on how the expansion draft goes, this team will most likely be needing a cornerback. This mean, you already know it, more playing time in the NSFL.
7. Sarasota Sailfish
Another expansion team led by some pretty cool dudes. This expansion team might be even more fun than the Honolulu one. Frost is a pretty fun person to talk with, and RainDelay seems pretty chill, even though he doesn't talk much in the cesspool that is #general in the NSFL discord. RainDelay is one of the more veteran members of the league, and he finally gets something important to do to utilize all that experience he has. Frost was a GM of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, a team that I hate so much, partly because of their success. I have no doubt that Frost had a large role to do with that. I understand the DSFL has vast differences from the NSFL, but I think his skills can translate fairly well to this environment. Like with Honolulu, this team will most likely need a cornerback after the expansion draft. I'm sure it's becoming repetitive at this point, but if they need me, that means a starting job for me in the NSFL, which is what I really want. To be honest, I like this team's branding better than the Honolulu expansion team. The colors are really vibrant, and the name is dope also. The logo is pretty intimidating, and I didn't know a fish could look that cool. Sarasota is a small town, but it's got beaches, and I love me some big beaches.
Tier 4 (Teams I wouldn't mind going to, but I'm mostly indifferent about)
8. Yellowknife Wraiths
This team has probably the coolest branding out of all the teams, NSFL and DSFL. I love the colors, I love the name, I love the logo. Very intimidating, a job well done by the founders. I'm going to be honest for a minute, I barely know flyeaglesfly and shadyshoelace. I've seen fly (I'm pretty sure he goes by something else but idk) in the discord occasionally, but other than that I don't have much contact with either of them. This is one of those teams I'm indifferent about because I don't know their GMs very well, so I don't know if they are that good. They went to the Ultimus last year and made the playoffs this year, so I know they are at least capable of making a playoff caliber roster. Of course, my goal isn't to just make the playoffs and choke HFA each year. I want to win championships, and if I like these GMs, I think I'll stick around for the long haul. I don't think they are very active on discord, which is a slight downside. Their LR is pretty active, and I've been in it for a minute, everyone seems pretty chill. One of the selling points of being drafted by this team is because they do have a need at CB. They have a pretty garbage secondary as of now, and they have a huge need at safety. I have a feeling they double dip and take 2 defensive backs with some higher round picks, and maybe of those DBs is me. Who knows? All I know is that if I get drafted by this team, I have a pretty good chance of not getting sent down. Hallelujah! That's all I ask for from a team.
9. Arizona Outlaws
Maybe it was foolish of me to put this team so low, because they have a lot of potential. They did poorly this year, but Jay Cue is a rising star and he will only get better. This team has a chance to do great things in the upcoming season, and I would like to be a part of that. Of course, this team could also do completely garbage in the upcoming seasons. No one really knows. I haven't had much interaction with Unicorn and Drizzy, other than stealing Unicorn's predictions. He seems pretty chill, but neither of them are that active in the NSFL discord, at least from my perspective. I'm sure the Outlaws LR is pretty active and fun. I know Saba is an outlaw, and he has told me good things about 'Zona. Jay Cue is also very active and a nice guy to talk with. I like the pieces this team has, but I don't know when their championship window will appear. I don't know how confident I am in this GM duo because I barely know them. They do have a slight need at CB, which I would glad to fill. They need a safety also, and they are in the same predicament the Wraiths are in right now. If the Outlaws draft me and tell me I'm getting a starting spot as a cornerback, I will be very happy. But that's an unlikely situation, and I'm indifferent to their team, I don't dislike their GMs, but I don't know their capabilities that well either.
10. Orange County Otters
Some might be astounded that I put the Otters this low, considering how successful they have been the last 5 years. They finished with the highest record this year, and had three straight Ultimus championships from S17-19. That's something I can get behind, however I literally know nothing of their GMs. Laser and Revolution seem to be doing something right, or else they wouldn't have such a good team. I just don't know how well this team will do without their future hall of famer, Franklin Armstrong. This team was also the best team defensively this year, and it wasn't really close. Now, some of you might say, what's the problem with that? This team is amazing, why wouldn't you want to go there? You're a cornerback, why won't you just be patient and wait a year and then join this amazing secondary? Well, like I heavily emphasized before, I don't want to go to a team that doesn't need me. I don't want to get sent down. Yes, I am also aware that during the expansion draft, OCO will most likely lose one of their top corners, Korrin Abernathy or Kacey Dream. I often compare myself to Kacey Dream, and it would be cool to line up next to him. I don't know how interested OCO is in me, but I'm getting the vibe they don't really care. I think they are the only team that hasn't contacted me, but I could be wrong. I'm not taking this as a message of "We don't want you". I did this with KCC last year, and that was because their GM, Butters, said several times in the discord that they didn't want me in their LR. Their loss I guess? It is pretty early, and I do forgive their GMs for not scouting me. But if one of them says they did send me a list of questions, like I said earlier, I might have forgotten. All those hits on the turf have really shaken up my memory. This is a team that I can get with if they draft me, but I don't want to spend another year in the DSFL. Also, their branding is too orange for me. I don't know how I feel about it. Maybe it'll grow on me, just like Tijuana's branding. Also, an otter? Really? That's not very intimidating. That's almost birddogs level of trashy mascots.
Tier 5 (Teams I would rather not go to, but if they pick me, I'll still play)
Note: These teams are teams I don't want to go to, but it's not a situation where I would hold out and demand a trade. These teams don't need me, and I don't need them.
11. San Jose Sabercats
God, not the Sabercats. Who even GMs this team? Rradum and ckroyal? Never heard of ckroyal. I know Rradum, he seems pretty laid back in the discord, he's also part of the S22 class, so we already have a relationship. I don't have any faith in these GMs to lead this team to championships. The Sabercats seem to have sucked forever, and their drab colors represent the mood I get whenever I think of playing for them. I don't know if this team even needs me, and one of my most vocal opponents, HeHateMe PickSix, is a member of that secondary. I don't know how I feel about lining up next to one of my sworn enemies. However, I did get drafted to the Portland Pythons along with Alexander Hamilton, who started a lot of beef with me, and even blocked me. We got over it quickly however, and became friends and teammates. I don't know if that's going to work with the Sabercats, and I know it's going to be very awkward if they read this article and then draft me. Who knows, maybe their GMs are actually very good, but I'm not currently getting that vibe. I've been opposed to the Sabercats for a while now, even though my lover butters is on that team. Even before I was drafted into the DSFL, I've been long opposed to the Sabercats. It's that dang color scheme and branding. It has made me dislike that team, and I have no idea why I hate their branding so much. It seems unfair of me to trash a team because of their branding, but I'm not going to justify my actions. This team does not seem to be going anywhere in the next couple of seasons, and unless the GMs can convince me otherwise, I won't be a happy camper with them.
12. New Orleans Secondline
Now now, settle down. I'm sure most of my fellow S22 rookies are scratching their heads right now, wondering why in God's name I put NOLA last in my rankings. NOLA is supposed to be a powerhouse right now, an Ultimus-caliber team, right? Well, not really. NOLA was one of my top 3 destinations a week ago. A lot has changed in a week. NOLA is on a losing streak. Now I realize that maybe NOLA isn't as amazing as everyone is making them out to be. They are probably a one and done in the playoffs, seeing as how they are on a losing streak. Of course they might just win the Ultimus and make me look like a fool. It's not so much the team itself that is making me opposed at the idea of playing for them, but rather the players themselves. TomHanks, Bex, IsaStarcrossed are all players on that team that aren't too fond of me. That's kind of the general vibe I've gotten from them, which may be completely wrong, but I don't think I'm stupid enough to misinterpret certain things that they have said. There's way too many goody two shoes on that team, and it seems kind of uptight. I don't want to be there. I know TH was actually a chill person before... idk. Of course, this paired with the fact that NOLA doesn't need a CB was a pretty big turning point for me. NOLA doesn't need a CB, and I doubt they would ever pick me. They probably don't want my "toxic" personality in their LR, which is fine to me. I couldn't care less. Like I said at the beginning, I'm a completely different person in my team's LR. Ask people in my LR if you want confirmation. NOLA might have been good this year, but I don't have much confidence in their GMs to build a team that can be an Ultimus contender for several years. I don't think they have it in them. This year may be a fluke, or it may be the start of a dynasty. I don't know and I don't care. NOLA's branding is also terrible, almost as bad as the SaberCats. It's just bland and boring. They do have a lovely shade of purple, much better than the Coyotes' shade of purple. With all that said, NOLA is my least favorable draft destination.
Conclusion
Interpret this how you will, GMs. Don't take things too personal if I called you out. I barely know some of you, and if you are truly interested in drafting me, you can try and change my impression of you. I am going to be as loyal as a dog if I like my GMs. I will wait, even if it means our team is trash for a couple seasons and then really good the next couple of seasons. Take all of this with a grain of salt, and have a great day!
Edit: This should be eligible for 1.5x media, so gimme the loot $$$
Without further ado, let's just jump right in.
Tier 1 (Teams that I would really like to go to)
1. Austin Copperheads
I was born in Austin, and was very excited once our town was chosen as one of the destinations for an expansion team. In my college years at UTEP, Austin started growing better, and in my junior year they finally won a championship, only a couple years after their introduction into the league. As I'm writing this now, the copperheads have clinched a playoff spot, their 2nd year in a row. I don't know how far they will go this year, but they have some big holes on their team, and one of those holes is in their secondary. I grew up watching Dermot Lavelle Jr. play, and it's crazy that I have a chance to line up next to him next season. Austin needs me, and I need them, but with their aggressive trade to get the 1OA pick, there are many rumors circulating around the DSFL community that Colt Mendoza will go first overall with that pick. If you didn't know, Colt Mendoza is also a cornerback, which means if Austin takes Mendoza with that pick, they probably won't need another cornerback. This saddens me and I hope the copperhead GMs are smart enough to take more than 1 CB in the draft. Look at how it worked for the Portland Pythons this last season, who went from a trash team to a Ultimini contender because they redid their secondary by using their top 3 picks on cornerbacks. I have always felt attracted to the Austin poop colors, I don't know why. I am a part of the pythons, so going to another snake team would be cool. I could use all the same terrible puns saba and toasty thought of. I like the Austin LR, it's semi-active, not MB levels of active, but still more active than the Portland LR. I don't think I've made enemies with the Austin GMs, so hopefully we are on good terms. I might have said a thing or two to Adam, but it was all in good fun, I hope. Regardless of all that, I want to go to Austin and be an immediate contributor there.
2. Philadelphia Liberty
This is a team that I was indifferent to when I started playing in the DSFL. They have since grown on me with their friendly GMs and players. Their team has a culture I would like to be a part of. What's even better? They need a cornerback, and I'm the perfect person for the job. For NSFL GMs reading this, I am strongly against the idea of being sent down for another year in the DSFL. I want to play in the NSFL immediately and get the reps I need to succeed. I want to be an immediate contributor that can help turn this team around. Philly finished with 3 wins only, and some pressing needs on their defense, which gave up 356 points over 13 games. This team needs a lot of things, but I'm confident that the GMs are competent enough to right the ship. Of course, this is just off of impressions I have by talking with them. Things might change a season or two in Philly, but who knows. Tim was the only GM who didn't just send a list of questions, he actually took time to talk to me, which I appreciated. This left an impression on me that no other team had achieved. I know they're interested in me, and I love me a team that wants me.
3. Baltimore Hawks
Duilio05 was the first NSFL GM that I talked to through discord, even before I got drafted in the DSFL. He seemed like a dope dude that I would like to play under. I have 101% confidence in that GM pair of Huskies and Duilio to lead this team through rough times. I love a team that can win games consistently, and the Hawks have been a good team for a while now. They went 9-4 this year, and I predict them to be Ultimus champions, but we'll see what the playoffs have in store for us. The Hawks as a team appeal to me with their logo and color scheme. I like the city and it's an amazing place to be. This is a team that has established a winning culture and I want in. Just like the above two teams, the Hawks also have a need at cornerback, and I could be the person to fill that need. If you haven't noticed by now, I like teams that have a need at cornerback because that means if I get drafted, I'm most likely going to start. Every team runs nickel, which means every team needs 3 CBs. I can be one of those starters. Like I said before, I am heavily against the idea of playing in the DSFL another year. I want to be an instant contributor. I am aware that Corvo Havran is going to be regressing and the Hawks will likely not be as good as they are now in the upcoming years, but like I said before, I am confident in the Hawks GMs to right the ship once it gets off course. The Hawks defense last year was good, but not the best. I hope to help change that.
Tier 2 (Teams that I would prefer going to over tier 3 & 4 & 5 teams)
4. Chicago Butchers
Woah Zamir, aren't you like, one of the people that hates Chicago and constantly shits on Valor/Steelsound/Jiggly? Boo hoo, I said some things that were interpreted as nasty but don't really represent my true feelings about the Chicago drama. I don't appreciate the way Valor and Steelsound managed the team near the end of their tenure, but I do feel sympathetic towards Steelsound. He seemed like a good guy and didn't deserve some of the nasty comments that were thrown his way, but it wasn't all unfounded. People made some poor decisions and there were a lot of repercussions, some unnecessary. Chicago was like the joke of the league in the NSFL. Most S22 rookies saw it as a terrible team that would not be contenders for a while. The LR was so inactive, and the team felt abandoned and uncared for. Some players on Chicago wanted out, and demanded trades/releases or they retired. While I appreciate what Jiggly did in Chicago, I also disliked the way he went around doing things. It wasn't his place to do what he did and commandeer the team, acting like HO was nothing, and he had privileges just because he had been in the league for so long. Oles is one of my teammates and I have to saw I was extremely intrigued by a Jiggly/Oles GMed team, and I even DMed jiggly on discord about how I would like to be a part of rebuilding Chicago and that I would be willing to go there. As expected(?), Jiggly didn't respond, which was understandable(again, ?). A lot of users were saying hateful things towards Jiggly, and I do respect his intentions for the team. But then things turned sour after they rejected the GM candidate that HO had picked. That's when it kind of got out of hand, and we got away from the rules here. The whole situation was a mess, and Jiggly got punished appropriately. Unfortunately, it seems like we drove him out of the league, just like with Steelsound. Sometimes we get so caught up in things, but we don't realize it's all for fun at the end of the day. This happened with me a couple of times, and no I'm not going apologize for what I said, I'm sorry if you interpreted my messages as hurtful. This was supposed to be about why I want to go to Chicago, but it just turned into a rant about the Chicago drama, sorry about that. Anyways, with the team in shambles, and I love this. I don't know much about the new GMs for Chicago, but I know they were chosen by the people, so I think that's a good thing? A lot of people have said good things about the new GMs, so I'm going to envision that these GMs are capable of turning this team around, even if it takes several season to do so. When I retire, I want to look back on my career and feel satisfied knowing that I helped turn around a team once I arrived. That with help from my presence, a pretender team became contenders. It would be really fun being a part of the rebuild, and that's something I want in on. Another amazing thing about Chicago is that they are in dire need of a cornerback. Ahri E. switched from WR to CB, but he announced his retirement, along with his departure from the league. I am the perfect cornerback for the job, but my only concern is that the Butchers do not have enough high round picks to choose me. I may be gone before the butchers choose a cornerback. If I do get picked by this team, I know it means I won't get sent down, and I'll be an instant contributor on a once lacking secondary.
5. Colorado Yeti
This one is a weird choice for me, as there are a lot of teams that I'm mostly indifferent about, but then there are those little things that separate teams out for me. The Yeti, to my knowledge, are in need of a cornerback. I don't think I need to say it again, but I like teams that need a CB, because I could be the person to plug that hole. The Yeti were very hyped up during preseason, and many predicted them to finish with the highest record overall. They finished a respectable 8-5, and we'll see how far they go in the playoffs, but this is a winning culture I would like to be a part of. Frick and Woelker are exceptionally active league figures who seem more than capable of running an NSFL team. I have more confidence in those 2 GMs than any others that those two can build a championship winning team. If I feel confident in a certain team's GMs, you can count me in for the long run. I'll sign long contracts at minimum salary if I need to because that's how confident I am in a team's ability to put themselves in reach of an Ultimus. The Yeti are in a similar position defensive-wise with the Hawks, both had good defenses this year, but not the best.
Tier 3 (Expansion teams)
Note: The reason the two expansion teams have an entire tier to themselves is because of how little I know of these teams. It would be problematic for me to rank them next to other teams, but their tier ranking at #3 is appropriate, as I would be happier going to the above 5 teams, but this could all change after expansion draft. New needs get formed. One of the biggest things I'm looking for in a team is an instant starter spot.
6. Honolulu Hahalua
I love saying this name out loud repeatedly, as it just rolls of the tongue beautifully. An expansion team in Hawaii? Count me in. If you read my DSFL edition of "Ideal Draft Destinations", then you know how I feel about expansion teams. Regardless, I will still explain to you how I feel about expansion teams in general. I want to be a founding member of an expansion team, or just something new that I can leave my legacy on. In 20 seasons, I hope for people to remember me as the best damn CB that expansion team X drafted. The GMs of the Honolulu Hahalua are Raven and ADwyer, both of who are really experienced in this league. ADwyer is a really dope person and I would love to play for his team. Raven's got the brains that maybe Dwyer is lacking, but in all seriousness, this GM duo is the real deal. In my short time here in the league, Raven has left one of the largest impressions on me. I feel very confident in this duo's ability to build an Ultimus caliber team. I have a feeling their LR is going to be very fun, and while I have declined to be in their LR as of now, it's nothing personal. I want to be a member of this expansion team very much because, depending on how the expansion draft goes, this team will most likely be needing a cornerback. This mean, you already know it, more playing time in the NSFL.
7. Sarasota Sailfish
Another expansion team led by some pretty cool dudes. This expansion team might be even more fun than the Honolulu one. Frost is a pretty fun person to talk with, and RainDelay seems pretty chill, even though he doesn't talk much in the cesspool that is #general in the NSFL discord. RainDelay is one of the more veteran members of the league, and he finally gets something important to do to utilize all that experience he has. Frost was a GM of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, a team that I hate so much, partly because of their success. I have no doubt that Frost had a large role to do with that. I understand the DSFL has vast differences from the NSFL, but I think his skills can translate fairly well to this environment. Like with Honolulu, this team will most likely need a cornerback after the expansion draft. I'm sure it's becoming repetitive at this point, but if they need me, that means a starting job for me in the NSFL, which is what I really want. To be honest, I like this team's branding better than the Honolulu expansion team. The colors are really vibrant, and the name is dope also. The logo is pretty intimidating, and I didn't know a fish could look that cool. Sarasota is a small town, but it's got beaches, and I love me some big beaches.
Tier 4 (Teams I wouldn't mind going to, but I'm mostly indifferent about)
8. Yellowknife Wraiths
This team has probably the coolest branding out of all the teams, NSFL and DSFL. I love the colors, I love the name, I love the logo. Very intimidating, a job well done by the founders. I'm going to be honest for a minute, I barely know flyeaglesfly and shadyshoelace. I've seen fly (I'm pretty sure he goes by something else but idk) in the discord occasionally, but other than that I don't have much contact with either of them. This is one of those teams I'm indifferent about because I don't know their GMs very well, so I don't know if they are that good. They went to the Ultimus last year and made the playoffs this year, so I know they are at least capable of making a playoff caliber roster. Of course, my goal isn't to just make the playoffs and choke HFA each year. I want to win championships, and if I like these GMs, I think I'll stick around for the long haul. I don't think they are very active on discord, which is a slight downside. Their LR is pretty active, and I've been in it for a minute, everyone seems pretty chill. One of the selling points of being drafted by this team is because they do have a need at CB. They have a pretty garbage secondary as of now, and they have a huge need at safety. I have a feeling they double dip and take 2 defensive backs with some higher round picks, and maybe of those DBs is me. Who knows? All I know is that if I get drafted by this team, I have a pretty good chance of not getting sent down. Hallelujah! That's all I ask for from a team.
9. Arizona Outlaws
Maybe it was foolish of me to put this team so low, because they have a lot of potential. They did poorly this year, but Jay Cue is a rising star and he will only get better. This team has a chance to do great things in the upcoming season, and I would like to be a part of that. Of course, this team could also do completely garbage in the upcoming seasons. No one really knows. I haven't had much interaction with Unicorn and Drizzy, other than stealing Unicorn's predictions. He seems pretty chill, but neither of them are that active in the NSFL discord, at least from my perspective. I'm sure the Outlaws LR is pretty active and fun. I know Saba is an outlaw, and he has told me good things about 'Zona. Jay Cue is also very active and a nice guy to talk with. I like the pieces this team has, but I don't know when their championship window will appear. I don't know how confident I am in this GM duo because I barely know them. They do have a slight need at CB, which I would glad to fill. They need a safety also, and they are in the same predicament the Wraiths are in right now. If the Outlaws draft me and tell me I'm getting a starting spot as a cornerback, I will be very happy. But that's an unlikely situation, and I'm indifferent to their team, I don't dislike their GMs, but I don't know their capabilities that well either.
10. Orange County Otters
Some might be astounded that I put the Otters this low, considering how successful they have been the last 5 years. They finished with the highest record this year, and had three straight Ultimus championships from S17-19. That's something I can get behind, however I literally know nothing of their GMs. Laser and Revolution seem to be doing something right, or else they wouldn't have such a good team. I just don't know how well this team will do without their future hall of famer, Franklin Armstrong. This team was also the best team defensively this year, and it wasn't really close. Now, some of you might say, what's the problem with that? This team is amazing, why wouldn't you want to go there? You're a cornerback, why won't you just be patient and wait a year and then join this amazing secondary? Well, like I heavily emphasized before, I don't want to go to a team that doesn't need me. I don't want to get sent down. Yes, I am also aware that during the expansion draft, OCO will most likely lose one of their top corners, Korrin Abernathy or Kacey Dream. I often compare myself to Kacey Dream, and it would be cool to line up next to him. I don't know how interested OCO is in me, but I'm getting the vibe they don't really care. I think they are the only team that hasn't contacted me, but I could be wrong. I'm not taking this as a message of "We don't want you". I did this with KCC last year, and that was because their GM, Butters, said several times in the discord that they didn't want me in their LR. Their loss I guess? It is pretty early, and I do forgive their GMs for not scouting me. But if one of them says they did send me a list of questions, like I said earlier, I might have forgotten. All those hits on the turf have really shaken up my memory. This is a team that I can get with if they draft me, but I don't want to spend another year in the DSFL. Also, their branding is too orange for me. I don't know how I feel about it. Maybe it'll grow on me, just like Tijuana's branding. Also, an otter? Really? That's not very intimidating. That's almost birddogs level of trashy mascots.
Tier 5 (Teams I would rather not go to, but if they pick me, I'll still play)
Note: These teams are teams I don't want to go to, but it's not a situation where I would hold out and demand a trade. These teams don't need me, and I don't need them.
11. San Jose Sabercats
God, not the Sabercats. Who even GMs this team? Rradum and ckroyal? Never heard of ckroyal. I know Rradum, he seems pretty laid back in the discord, he's also part of the S22 class, so we already have a relationship. I don't have any faith in these GMs to lead this team to championships. The Sabercats seem to have sucked forever, and their drab colors represent the mood I get whenever I think of playing for them. I don't know if this team even needs me, and one of my most vocal opponents, HeHateMe PickSix, is a member of that secondary. I don't know how I feel about lining up next to one of my sworn enemies. However, I did get drafted to the Portland Pythons along with Alexander Hamilton, who started a lot of beef with me, and even blocked me. We got over it quickly however, and became friends and teammates. I don't know if that's going to work with the Sabercats, and I know it's going to be very awkward if they read this article and then draft me. Who knows, maybe their GMs are actually very good, but I'm not currently getting that vibe. I've been opposed to the Sabercats for a while now, even though my lover butters is on that team. Even before I was drafted into the DSFL, I've been long opposed to the Sabercats. It's that dang color scheme and branding. It has made me dislike that team, and I have no idea why I hate their branding so much. It seems unfair of me to trash a team because of their branding, but I'm not going to justify my actions. This team does not seem to be going anywhere in the next couple of seasons, and unless the GMs can convince me otherwise, I won't be a happy camper with them.
12. New Orleans Secondline
Now now, settle down. I'm sure most of my fellow S22 rookies are scratching their heads right now, wondering why in God's name I put NOLA last in my rankings. NOLA is supposed to be a powerhouse right now, an Ultimus-caliber team, right? Well, not really. NOLA was one of my top 3 destinations a week ago. A lot has changed in a week. NOLA is on a losing streak. Now I realize that maybe NOLA isn't as amazing as everyone is making them out to be. They are probably a one and done in the playoffs, seeing as how they are on a losing streak. Of course they might just win the Ultimus and make me look like a fool. It's not so much the team itself that is making me opposed at the idea of playing for them, but rather the players themselves. TomHanks, Bex, IsaStarcrossed are all players on that team that aren't too fond of me. That's kind of the general vibe I've gotten from them, which may be completely wrong, but I don't think I'm stupid enough to misinterpret certain things that they have said. There's way too many goody two shoes on that team, and it seems kind of uptight. I don't want to be there. I know TH was actually a chill person before... idk. Of course, this paired with the fact that NOLA doesn't need a CB was a pretty big turning point for me. NOLA doesn't need a CB, and I doubt they would ever pick me. They probably don't want my "toxic" personality in their LR, which is fine to me. I couldn't care less. Like I said at the beginning, I'm a completely different person in my team's LR. Ask people in my LR if you want confirmation. NOLA might have been good this year, but I don't have much confidence in their GMs to build a team that can be an Ultimus contender for several years. I don't think they have it in them. This year may be a fluke, or it may be the start of a dynasty. I don't know and I don't care. NOLA's branding is also terrible, almost as bad as the SaberCats. It's just bland and boring. They do have a lovely shade of purple, much better than the Coyotes' shade of purple. With all that said, NOLA is my least favorable draft destination.
Conclusion
Interpret this how you will, GMs. Don't take things too personal if I called you out. I barely know some of you, and if you are truly interested in drafting me, you can try and change my impression of you. I am going to be as loyal as a dog if I like my GMs. I will wait, even if it means our team is trash for a couple seasons and then really good the next couple of seasons. Take all of this with a grain of salt, and have a great day!
Edit: This should be eligible for 1.5x media, so gimme the loot $$$
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