07-17-2020, 02:30 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-17-2020, 02:35 PM by SchwarzNarr.)
I started writing a Choose Your Own Adventure game, it got out of hand, and after 25,000 words and realizing I wasn’t even close to finishing a third of it, I stopped. Enjoy what I have so far, or don’t, I’m not your boss. There are a ton of completed pathways and endings, but there are even more unfinished loops.
Maybe one day it’ll get finished. Doubt it, but you know, have at it.
Use this link to get the entire experience of the game. Please be careful when you click - if you accidentally click the slides, they will move forward one slide (use the left arrow, or back key to fix this). Click on the links and it will take you to your choice. Everything should be correct.
Your Adventure Begins Here!
If you want to know which section actually has a lot of decisions, then look at my player position, otherwise, have at it.
Welcome to the ISFL
You have decided to join the football team. It is uncertain as to what this will mean for your future right now, but you are very clearly dedicated to the choice that you have made. For now, your first of many decisions is ahead of you. Which position would you like to play?
Offense
Defense
Kicker/Punter
Offense: As you think about being on the offensive, you are looking to score. You want to help work the ball down the field in a position direction. You still have choices that are laid out in front of you, and you have to wonder, will you throw, catch or run? Or will you work to protect the football at all costs?
Throw the Ball
Catch the Ball
Run the Ball
Protect the Ball Carriers
Defense: As you think about being on defensive, you are looking to attack. You want to find the ball carrier and crush him, and if possible, you want to take that ball and run far far away with it. But, you’ll also mostly be content with crushing the ball carrier. Are you going to focus more on trying to be quick and get to the Quarterback, or will you work on chasing the ball down?
Tackle the Quarterback
Chase the Ball
Kicker/Punter: You do not really care about who has the ball or where it ends up as long as it is down the feel, and generally, preferably, through the uprights. Whether you hold the ball, a teammate holds the ball, or a piece of plastic holds the ball, you know how important it is for your foot to meet the ball. The question for you is are you going to focus on strength or accuracy?
Strength
Accuracy
Strength: You know that there is no greater power than kicking the ball as hard and as far as you can. Being able to sail a 60 yard field goal is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Who cares if it hits the post as long as you can get it as far down the field as possible. You sit on the sidelines, waiting for your chance, and waiting for the team to score.
They make a great attempt at a drive, but fall short of the touchdown. The ball is sitting on the right hashmark, and you know that you’ll need to angle it to get it in. Do you:
Kick the ball
Kick the ball hard
Attempt to aim
Kick the ball hard: You know that you need to do nothing more than kick this ball like it is your bitch. You take a few steps back and get ready to wind up. You start running toward the ball, and suddenly you get Peanut’s flashbacks. You know that your holder is not Lucy, but you cannot help but feel as though he’s going to pull the ball away at the last moment.
As you reach your leg out to swing and hit the ball, you realize that in fact, your intuition was correct. The holder is not there anymore, and in fact the play was a fake all along. The only reason the other team fell for it was because you didn’t pay attention. You swung as hard as you could to kick the ball, and you landed on your back. Your head rattles around inside of your helmet, and you begin to see Woodstock floating around your head. The team helps carry you back to the sidelines and the coaches begin checking you for a concussion. It looks like you will be out for the rest of the game as you are taken to the hospital.
Game over, try again.
Attempt to Aim: You know that you are not the best at aiming, it is not why the team drafted you, but you know that this is a tricky shot to make. You attempt to adjust for it being on the right hash, but you suddenly cannot remember where that means you should stand. Should you be more straight on, or should you stand over to one side of the ball.
You adjust in the wrong direction and you completely hook the ball. It does not fly anywhere near the posts and your teammates grumble as you return to the sidelines. As the plays continue will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Watch the game: You watch as the defensive line takes the field. You are hopeful that they will be able to hold the line and the fact that your team will be down a few points will not be entirely on you. Unfortunately, as you continue to attempt to cheer your defense on, they do not impress. The opposing team pushes hard, and on a breakaway pass the receiver is able to run it in for a touchdown. You can:
Stare daggers at the enemy kicker and attempt to voodoo curse him
Watch with horror as your team sucks and falls apart
Stare daggers at the enemy kicker and attempt to voodoo curse him: You watch the enemy kicker come onto the field to attempt the point after. You stare at him and begin muttering in tongues under your breath. Your teammates watch you, mild concern showing on their faces, but this is not the first time you have attempted such madness. Unfortunately for you, it does not work and the kick is good.
As you turn your attention away from the kickoff, however, the opposing team's kicker trips slightly toward the ball. The kick is muffed and your team is able to pick it up at decent yardage. Watching your offense, they continue their attempt to push down the field.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Continue Voodoo Magic
Continue Voodoo Magic: You stare at the defensive players and continue to mutter. Your team feigns a little bit more interest now, wondering if you actually did have any impact on the kicker. As the defense is able to stop your team short of a touchdown, you begin to wonder if you only have an impact on the opposing kicker - being the same position and all.
You march onto the field with your special teams unit. Do you:
Kick the field goal normally
Attempt to draw strength from the opposing kicker
Attempt to draw strength from the opposing kicker: You decide to continue to attempt your voodoo magic on the opposing team’s kicker. Knowing that it worked before has only increased your confidence in this manner. As you attempt to suck the strength from his leg and imbue your own body with it, you feel a slight tingle all around you.
You kick the ball and it goes flying toward the goal posts. As it continues through the air, you feel as though you are unstoppable. A sudden scream has you looking around the stadium. You are not only glowing, but you are in fact engulfed in flames. Staring at the sidelines, you realize that you have not only drawn the strength from the opposing kicker, but his very life force itself. As you realize that you are more powerful than you could imagine, the field begins to bend to your will. This game will be yours by sheer force of will.
Congratulations, you have successfully drained the enemy’s life force. You continue to take over the football arena and eventually the world. With this newfound power you are allowed to rebirth and try again.
Kick the field goal normally: While you really hoped that you were filled with voodoo powers, you recognize that correlation is not causation and the opposing kicker just had a bad day. You step onto the field with your special teams and you focus your mind on clearing and being ready to make the kick. With a deep breath, you run at the ball and - success! It goes through the uprights without much fanfare. You are still behind in this game, but you are very hopeful that your team will be successful. There are only a few minutes left before half time, as you look to kick the ball of will you:
Kick the ball deep in the endzone
Kick the ball
Kick the ball deep in the endzone: You look down the field and you know that you do not want to give the opposing team a chance to run the ball before halftime - at least, not for free. You kick the ball as hard as you can. It goes sailing down the field and you hope that it will make it through the uprights, even from kickoff. While you make a good attempt, there is a receiver in the endzone and he catches the ball with ease. Sensing an opening, he begins running down the field.
It does not look good - your defenders are not blocking, and even though you try to cut him off, he’s just too fast. The receiver runs for 102 yards, resulting in a kickoff touchdown. Distraught, you leave the field and hope that your team can make up any of the missing points before the half.
Watch the game
Watch the game: You watch in horror as your offensive line cannot even compete against the now empowered defense. If only you had worked harder to voodoo magic the enemy team, but you quickly realize that that time has since passed. Your offensive line is stopped on the third down with 1 yard to go. In desperation and hope, the coach attempts a fourth down conversion. Failing, the possession changes, and you turn your head in shame for the last few seconds of the half. Entering the locker room, you feel defeated do you.
Attempt your voodoo powers again in desperation
Listen to the coach
Kick the locker in frustration
Listen to the coach: You sit down with your teammates and listen as the coach makes an impassioned speech. The team came into this locker room feeling defeated, and it is the coach’s job to make sure that you can come out feeling as though you will be able to do it. You listen, hoping the coach will not make any huge pleas that your team will not be able to accomplish, but you can feel the coach inspiring you. You run out of the tunnel, excited and ready to dominate the second half.
As you get ready for the kick off, you know that no matter what you have got this.
Kick the ball
Kick the ball: You reach the field, and you are ready for the kickoff. You run down the ball, but before you can kick, it yeets itself off the stand. Grumbling mildly to yourself, you place the ball back onto the stand and line back up to kick it again. Unfortunately the ball yeets itself off of the stand again, fortunately, you weren’t even running at it this time. One of your teammates comes over to hold the ball, and you wind yourself once more for the kickoff. Are you:
Frustrated
Focused
Frustrated: You cannot help but feel it is a personal affront from the ball as it does not stay on the stand. Sure, your teammate is holding it now, but how do you know that something awful will not come of this? Angry beyond measure, you wind up for the kick. Fueled by the power of rage, you kick the ball fiercely down the field. It sails down the field. As the receiver catches the ball at the two yard line, he looks to scramble and try and gain additional yardage. He backs into the endzone, looking for an escape and is tackled - resulting in a safety for your team. Apparently being fueled with rage is beneficial for your team. As your team continues playing will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Attempt your voodoo powers again in desperation: You know that it was probably a fluke the first time, but you cannot help but want to call upon the dark forces once more during half time. Lighting some incense, you start to breathe in deeply. You do not want to have any distractions when it comes time to calling upon these darker powers. You begin to breathe deeply and the world around you changes shape and form. You begin to feel as though you can take the life force from any being around you.
Leave the locker room
Leave the locker room: You leave the locker room, feeling that you can see the special waves of wind as you look at the field. You believe that you can harness this newfound power as you go to kickoff. You know that your team will be victorious if you can only float the ball upon these magical waves.
After the kickoff, the crowd starts to scream - smoke is coming from the tunnel. You forgot to put out your delicious smells and have unfortunately set the locker room and the stadium on fire. The stadium is evacuated and you are fined and kicked off the team for attempting your hippy mumbo jumbo.
Try again, and this time, let’s keep the voodoo powers to a minimum
Kick the locker in frustration: You are beyond angry and frustrated and you decide to take it out on your innocent locker. Fortunately for the locker, it is made of tougher stuff, and you do not even dent the material. Unfortunately for you, you break your toes. Letting out a screen as agonizing as Aragorn kicking an orc helmet, you fall to the ground, tears streaming down your face.
The medical team comes over to evaluate you. You have ended your time in this game, and you will not even be on the field to watch the second half.
Try again.
Kick the ball: You do what kickers do best. You kick the ball. It is not an impressive kick by any means, but you are certainly doing your job. The ball narrowly misses the uprights, but bounces over as it hits the bar. The kick is good, you got your team some points on the board, and you know that it is time for you to go back to sitting on the bench, waiting for some more action.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Zone out: You are not paying much attention to the game, and you are more worried about what cute girls you can spot in the stands. Smiling and nodding at one nearby female, you suddenly hear the coach yelling your name. You run out to the field, uncertain of what play actually needs to happen.
The ball is snapped and it goes straight over your head. It was a punt! You have two choices:
Attempt to recover the ball and run
Just attempt to recover the ball
Attempt to recover the ball and run: You try to pick up the ball, knowing that this was entirely your fault. Wanting to do something positive for your teammates after you had slacked off in the game, you attempt to run the ball down the field.
Unfortunately, the other team is filled with very large players. They tackle you and it leaves your head spinning. As you get up, you are not sure that you’ll be able to play. It does not feel like a concussion, but something feels off with your leg. As the medical staff look you over, it seems that you have indeed injured yourself. You’ll be out for the rest of the game.
Game over, try again.
Just attempt to recover the ball: You jump on the ball and let yourself seem weak and defenseless on the ground. As you feel the defensive players come running up to tackle you, you begin whimpering loudly. It is not professional, but face it, you are terrified of them. It is why you became a kicker in the first place.
They gently tap you to mark you as down, and you return to the sidelines. Will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Watch the Game: You focus on watching the game, chatting with your teammates, and cheering the team on. Whenever a great play has been made, or someone hit a rough patch, you are always there being the encouragement of your team. The coach notices how involved you are being, and you can sense the silent praise he is offering you.
The team scores a touchdown and you go onto the field to kick the extra point.
Kick the point
Kick the point: Doing your job as kicker, you successfully sail the extra point into the uprights. Your team begins to take a commanding lead, and you feel great as you continue to adventure in this game.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Zone Out: Your team is winning, and you realize that they’ve got this. You shouldn’t need to pay too much attention while the game continues on. Instead of cheering your team on, you tapping your feet against the ground. You have got to do something to keep yourself entertained. The more that you move your foot, the more you begin to realize that it feels like there is a rock or something within your shoe. Do you:
Ignore it
Take your shoe off and fix the problem
Ignore it: You assume that it is not that big of a deal and you decide to ignore what is happening within your shoe. When it becomes time for you to march onto the field and kick the ball, your focus rests entirely on the thing in your shoe. You keep shaking your foot, trying to get it fixed before the play goes off. It is almost time for you to perform do you:
Kick with it in your shoe
Call a timeout to fix it
Kick with it in your shoe: You know that the coach would be furious if you were to call a timeout, so you decide to grit your teeth and just make the play as is. You line up to kick, and hear the ball be snapped. You run, but as you go to plant your foot right before kicking, whatever was in your shoe digs into your foot just right (or wrong, as you might think). You stumble, and end up squibbing the field goal. The opposing team recovers and runs down the field.
As you hobble to the sidelines, the coach is trying to figure out “What in the hell” happened on the field. You can:
Lie about your shoe
Be honest
Lie about your shoe: You shrug and mumble something incoherent to your coach. As much as you wanted to be able to do something more than that, you know that you are just a big disappointment on your opening game career. Feeling completely defeated and lacking confidence, you decide to unlace your shoe and look inside to see what could have possibly caused you pain like that. As you take your shoe off, you tilt it, trying to dump out anything inside. When nothing falls out, you continue to shake it, stick your hands inside, and even feel along the bottom of your sock. There is nothing there that seems like it should have caused you grief. Do you:
Take off your sock - clearly it went inside
Put your shoe back on and see if it still hurts
Put your shoe back on and see if it still hurts: Figuring that it was all in your head, you put your shoe back on and lace it up tightly. You begin to walk along the sidelines and feeling nothing that could be remotely painful, you decide to do some practice kicks, to keep yourself warmed up. When everything seems to be going well, you shrug and let yourself sit back down on the bench. Will you:
Zone Out
Watch the Game
Zone Out: Still haunted by the mysterious pain that struck your foot, you are still finding it hard to focus on the game. You keep tapping and testing out your shoes every once in a while to make sure that you are not going crazy. Do not worry, it still does not hurt, but you just cannot get past the fact that you no longer feel like you trust your feet. When it comes time to kick an extra point after a touchdown, you are wondering if you are going to be too distracted. It is close to the half, so maybe you’ll just have to kick this and then kick off, and you’ll be able to take a break and truly relax. As you go onto the field to kick the extra point you have two choices:
Kick it like a boss
Worry about hurting yourself
Worry about hurting yourself: Even though everything seems normal, you know that that pain you had felt in your foot could not possibly be normal. You have a serious fear that it was not just something that was going to happen as a one off, but instead could lead to bigger problems for you later.
You try to let the coach know that you feel off, that your foot has been hurting, and that you are really worried that it might be something that could lead to permanent damage. As much as the coach is annoyed that you did not come and tell him earlier (would it have been so hard, you could have gotten checked out a long time ago!), he calls the medical team over and they start to check you out. As you move off to the side of the sidelines, the backup kicker makes their way onto the field. You know that it is only a matter of time before you are checked out and hopefully cleared, but you hear the crowd cheer. While you are thankful for good backup, you also hope that this does not cost you your starting spot.
The medical team is not exactly sure what is wrong with you, but they advise you to rest for the rest of the game, and maybe even the week. You do not like the sound of that, but you can’t really argue, especially since the coach seems to agree with them.
Your team wins, but you are forced to sit out the rest of the game. It kind of stinks, doesn’t it? Do you want to try a different path?
Watch the game: It is not that you do not have faith in your defense, but really, you would just like to make sure that your defense has a cheering crowd for them. After all, it would stink if every time you went on the field the rest of the team went off and did whatever. You know that you want to pay the same respects to your teammates. You watch as the defense struggles slightly, and at one point it seems as though you are not going to be able to hold them until the half. You keep watching and cross your fingers, really hoping that you can do something to make it happen for the defense.
It is not pretty, and it is far closer than anyone on your team would feel comfortable with, but your defense is able to hold, and you go into halftime feeling alright, but not exactly riding the high of thrashing the other team. As you take care of some needs while listening to the coach, you feel a sense of pride about being on this team. This is not just the fact that you got drafted to an ISFL team - you got drafted the best damn ISFL team of all time. They will be your family, and you know that as you leave the locker room and go back during the second half, that you will do everything you possibly can to make a win happen tonight.
Leave the locker room
Leave the locker room: As you leave the locker room you reach the sidelines only to remember that it is in fact your turn to kick off to the other team. You begin to make your way to where you are supposed to go and you see your teammates lined up, and the ball is resting on the stand. You are feeling really good about this kickoff and while you know that it may be a little bit difficult, you are going to do your best to try and kick it through the uprights, because after all you are a strength kicker and you are feeling amazing right now. The coach clearly did his job well.
You go to kick the ball, and right before you can it plops itself off of the ball stand. Hoping that this is not a repeat of your nightmares, you set the ball back up, and take your position again. You look down the line at your teammates, and with a nod to yourself, you run at the ball with everything you’ve got. You kick it hard, and watch as it goes through the air. It seems like it is going to be a deep ball, no matter what, but you watch as it sails cleanly through the uprights. If only it counted for field goal stats, you would be unstoppable.
You return to the sidelines feeling good. Are you ready to watch the defense?
Yes
Not really, I wanna kick more
Yes: Feeling fantastic about the start to this half, you find yourself captivated by the game. Your defense has taken the field and you know that it is only a matter of time before you are back out there, supporting your offense. There are a very dicey plays, and the opposing team’s offense is able to make some great throws, and while they are gaining yardage and first downs, you still feel confident than your defense will get the job done.
One particular play has you slightly worried about your defense, and confused, however. After the snap, they were able to successfully rush the quarterback. He is a sneaky player, though, and he started running from the defenders to prevent the sack. 30 yards backward and one heck of a pass later, and it seems as though the quarterback actually and successfully got away from the defenders. Now in the red zone, your defense will really need to step up to prevent what seems like the inevitable touchdown.
Continuing to watch your defense, you keep cheering and hollering out to them, hopeful that they can make the stop right now.
Keep watching, they can do it!
I can’t look, I am too scared
Keep watching, they can do it!: You have a belief in your team that rivals all others. While it might be incredibly nerve wracking and scary to do so, you continue to watch the game. You feel confident that the offense is going to run a pass play, and you watch as your defense lines up to protect against the same. With fingers crossed, you just hope that the offense does not try to do anything sneaky, or, rather, if they do that your defense is ready for them.
The ball is snapped and you watch as the quarterback drops back into the pocket. Outside of him scrambling for the touchdown, he seems intent on passing the ball. You watch as defenders try to break their blockers to reach the quarterback, but it does not seem as if anyone will be successful here.
The quarterback drops his arm back and you watch, with somewhat of mock horror, as the ball flies toward the end zone. The pass is perfectly poised to enter into the receivers arms. All signs point to touchdown.
Watch the catch
Watch the catch: While it seemed as though the pass was going to result in a touchdown, one of your defenders came out of nowhere to intercept the ball. As he is brought down within the end zone, you cheer with your offense - touchback. Knowing that you not only denied them any points, but also solidified your offense gets the ball is a great feeling. You pat the defender who intercepted the ball on the bottom as he returns to the sidelines.
He gives you a weird look, but sits down on the bench, scooting away from you a little.
The offense takes the field and begins to power the ball down, achieving first down after first down. While they continue to make progress down the field, it seems as though the amount of yards per play is slowing down as you venture deeper into enemy territory. Your offense goes 3 and out after pushing down the field, and while it might be a little longer than you normally kick, the coach decides to attempt the field goal.
Kick it
Fake it
Fake it: Trusting in your skills from practices, the coach has given your special teams the liberty to decide when to fake the ball. If it ever feels optimal to throw or run the ball instead of kick, you have been granted full license to do so. As you march onto the field and into the huddle, you start chatting with your teammates. You tell them that you feel really good about trying to fake this field goal - you think that the pass play will be the right decision, but you are not completely confident about that.
The last decision that you have to decide is who will throw or run the ball - you or the holder. Both of you have attempted this in practice, but never really in the game.
Obviously I will throw the ball
Let the holder do it I don’t want the responsibility
Obviously I will throw the ball: Feeling slightly nervous as you go to line up, you notice the formation of the opposing team. After seeing them lined up, you are beginning to feel a lot better than ever before. (SLIDE 49)
Kick it like a boss: Forcing your brain to accept that there is nothing wrong with your foot, you set your mind to do one thing: Kick this ball like a boss. You wait for the snap and then feel your foot connect with the ball as it sails into the air and through the uprights. Now all you have to do is kickoff, and hope that your defense can survive the few minutes until halftime. Hopefully a nice long break will make it easier for you as you keep going with the game. Do you:
Trust your defense and zone out
Watch the game
Trust your defense and zone out: You know what your teammates can do and you trust your defense to keep this game safe and close. They quickly get the ball turned over but your offense decides to play it safe and just enter into the half. You join them in the locker room and are excited to let your body rest a little. Decided to keep your feet elevated and massage them gently, do you:
Listen to the coach
Grab a snack
Grab a Snack: In the locker room, you feel yourself starting to fade. Not only are you tired, and a tiny bit bored (being a kicker is not the most glorious of positions at times), but you can also feel your stomach start to rumble something fierce. You know that you have only a little bit of time, and if you want to be able to play without feeling totally awful, you need to eat something now. You decide that you are going to grab a snack, as that is the only thing that will quiet the ferocious roar that now lives within your stomach. You need to decide between:
Fruit
Veggies
Protein Bar
Protein Bar: You know that you need some protein for the rest of the game. You grab a quick bar like the rest of your teammates and you sit down to eat it while listening to the coach. Clearly you are superior because you can do two things at once. The coach gives a speech that leaves you awed and inspired. There is nothing you cannot do if you work as a team, and as a team you have decided that you are going to win this.
You all march - no - rush out of the tunnel and back onto the field. You are more ready for this than you could ever know. Watching your special teams get ready to receive the kick, you start chanting under your breath, “Our kicker is better than your kicker.” Over and over you do this, until the kick off has finished. It was not the greatest kick that has ever happened, and you wonder if you had anything to do with causing their kicker to be bad.
Watch your offense
Chant a little more juju
Chant a little more juju: Feeling confident that it worked, you start chanting a little more after your awesome snack. Clearly that protein bar was doing something right. As you start chanting for your team to continue dominating, you feel that a slight tingle starting in your fingertips. It does not necessarily feel wrong, but you are not really sure if it is an appropriate feeling, either.
Your offense continues to push down the field and you grin as you start feeling more and more power come to you. As you start to make decisions for play calls in your head, you seem them playing out onto the field. It seems as though you have since gained the ability to control this game. You look down at the wrapper of your protein bar, and look carefully as it clearly says “Power bar”. Does this mean that it has granted you the power to control the game?
Just watch the game
Try to tell the coach
Just watch the game: You continue to watch as your team scores a touchdown. The coach decides to go for two to make up some lost points in the game, and then you kick off down the field. You will the ball to go through the endzone and you find that it did so, easily.
As you continue watching, you keep making tiny requests with your newfound power. You are still doubting that it is not just coincidence, but after you make an outrageous play call, you find yourself recognizing that you really do have the power to control the game. Just to prove yourself, you demand that the ball be snapped and everyone just stands there for two minutes, watching one another - no running, no tackling, just standing around before the play can actually start.
After two stationary minutes, you realize that it worked. As the game ends, you decide that it is time to retire as a kicker and begin a career as a coach. You know that being able to call each play perfectly will only make you go down in history - and coaches are more well remembered than kickers. You want to be famous, not forgotten.
Begin your new career?
Watch your offense: You watch your offense strut their stuff out on the field. Your quarterback is feeling good and it is obvious as you watch how comfortable he is in the pocket. He is protected and has all of the time in the world to make his passing decisions. As he throws the ball far down the field, you find yourself cheering with the rest of your team - not only was the pass caught, but your receiver was almost able to score the touchdown.
Stuck in the red zone, you know this is not where your team shines, but you have to remain hopeful. They are trying so hard, and you know that if they can just continue to work at it, you will have a team that is more than ready to do what is asked of them. The first few plays do not look good as you see your quarterback struggle to find an open receiver. With less space, it is more difficult for your receivers to gain the distance they are known for. You start muttering that they should run the ball instead, and shove it in. Sure enough, however, the next play has them set up for a pass, again.
Shock marks your face, however, as you watch the quarterback run the ball into the end zone. Not only is it a touchdown, but you are also beginning to wonder if you have a little extra control over this game.
Kick the extra point.
Kick the extra point: You hop onto the field, ready to kick the extra point. Everyone is lined up, set, and you see the ball leave the long snappers hands. Running, you feel your form perfect as you kick the ball. It sails through the air and right in between the uprights. It is a textbook kick and you do a little shimmy of a dance as you prepare for the kickoff.
Lined up, you need to make a new choice:
Kick the ball
Chant for the receiver to drop it
Chant for the receiver to drop it: You decide to test out your theory one more time, and as you rush to kick the ball, you feel yourself begin to let out your breath in a continuous chant of “Drop the ball.” Repeating it over and over again, you look at the ball as it flies through the air. It seems like a more difficult ball to catch, and you are surprised that the receiver has not signaled for a fair catch yet. He seems to be waiving off his teammates in a clear signal of “I’ve got this.”
He did not have it, though. The ball slips through his fingers and falls to the ground. Since he touched it, the ball is live. Your defenders rush up to pounce on the ball before the receiving team can even react. Not only did you have a great kick, but it seems as though your chant can work, too.
You move to the sidelines as your offensive line comes back onto the field. While you are thrilled to be able to score points again, you cannot help but feel bad that they barely got a breather.
Watch the Game
Zone out
Zone out: You know that your team is going to continue to try and win the game, so you find yourself struggling to maintain attention. Instead, your focus goes to the string that is hanging loose on your pants. You begin to tug at it, trying to tear the thread with just your hands. Initially, it seems as though you are going to succeed, as the string doesn’t budge, but when you pull extra hard, you hear a tearing sound.
The loose thread has now created a small hole within your pants. Frustrated, you try to brace the fabric a little bit more, making use of the hole to put pressure where the thread is. You pull harder, and the hole gets a tiny bit bigger, but you feel the successful disconnection of the loose thread.
As the special teams unit needs to venture out onto the field, you take a few practice swings with your leg. On one especially high kick, you hear the dreaded tear sound. It wasn’t small, either, but instead, long and ripping. You hear a teammate giggle, and the realization that your pants have torn almost completely in two is upon you. Your underwear is showing for everyone to see, and you are moderately embarrassed - it is day of the week underwear, and you are wearing yesterday’s day (gross).
You rush off into the locker room and the backup kicker takes to the field. While your team wins the game, you have died of embarrassment, and feel the strong urge to retire.
That has to be mortifying, would you like to try again, and maybe this time keep your pants on.
Watch the game: You keep watching the game, every once in awhile trying to chant and let yourself control the outcome of the game. It seems as though it was a mere fluk,e however, as nothing else that you have chanted seems to have any impact on the game at all. Your offense continues to push down the field, and you move on for another extra point and kick off. The game is running smoothly, and your defensive and offensive lines are running like well oiled machines.
As your defense stops them yet again, you watch as the time ticks slowly off of the clock. Not a bad win for your first ever ISFL game. Your stats may not be the most glorious, but there is still time to make your name as the best kicker in the league. After all, it was only your first game.
Congratulations, winner. Would you like to play again?
Kick the ball: You are not going to waste your time trying to do anything fancy, so you just kick the ball. It is boring, it flies down the field, it gets caught by the receiver. He runs back down the field, your defenders tackle him. The special teams moves off of the field onto the sidelines, and you sit back and watch as your defensive line tries their best to stop the ball.
Will they be successful in stopping the offense?
Yes
No
Just because you happened to be right, does not mean you now control this game: You just happened to be correct that your defense will not be successful. The opposing team scores a touchdown and you find yourself growing more and more frustrated. You hear a voice whisper in your ear, “It was a coincidence, and not because that was the choice you made.”
Starting to feel a sense of paranoia, you go on to watch your offense. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of feeling that the little voice was actually anything, and instead focus your attention on the game. As your offense continues to try and move the ball, they are struggling. After three downs, they are mere inches from the first down. What does your offense do?
Sneak the ball with the quarterback
Hail Mary, make a huge pass downfield
Hail Mary, make a huge pass downfield: You know that making a hail mary on a play like this is a risk, and not one that your team even needs to make, but you want them to try it anyway. You watch, almost in slow motion, as the play begins to unfold. The ball is hiked into the quarterback’s awaiting hands, and he begins to run back into the pocket. He keeps his eyes down the field, looking left and right, keeping all of his options open. At first, it does not seem as if any of your receivers will be able to get open. The quarterback begins to run backwards a little, needing to gain some distance from a defender that is headed his way. He starts to back up, and as he does, one of your receivers is able to make a break from his defender.
The quarterback notices this and lets the ball go. It flies through the air like a thing of beauty. As it sails into the awaiting arms of the receiver, he continues down the field. Your quarterback gets slammed into the ground by the defender, but it is okay, your receiver has made it worthwhile. He quickly scores the touchdown and your team marches onto the field to kick the extra point.
Kick it
Kick it: Lined up after the huddle, you are more than ready to make this kick. You know that it will be easy peasy. As you set up, the ball is snapped and your holder grabs it. You run toward the ball, make contact, and watch as it goes and seems to get knocked to the side by some unforeseen force.
“You should have known better than to think you could control me,” you hear the voice say.
You wish you could explain to your teammates and your coach what happened. In fact, the coach is so confused, he throws his red flag asking for a play review from the referees. He doesn’t really care if the play call is overturned or not, he mostly just wants to know what the hell happened. As the referees wait for the review box to come down with their decision, everyone sits with baited breath.
The kick is ruled “no good,” and while the referees do not have an answer for why it looks like it was pulled away at the last second by a string, they decide to swap out the ball, and assure everyone that nothing like that will happen again.
Watch the Game
Plead forgiveness for your insolence
Plead forgiveness for your insolence: You know that you messed up. It is okay to mess up, but you also know that it is important to acknowledge this. You are not quite sure where to look around the field as the disembodied voice seems to speak right into your ear, but you open your hands and speak out to the world. You beg for forgiveness and remind the voice that clearly you were uncertain of its power, and now that you know the true meaning of power, it is time that you bow before its will.
With a laugh, the rest of the world suddenly seems very quiet, and you find yourself waking up. You weren’t in a coma, but the simulation that you were a part of was apparently so lifelike that you were unaware that it had even started. It felt so real, that even after the doctors remind you of what you had agreed to when testing the simulation, you have trouble believing them.
The disembodied voice was apparently the sim testers making changes and following your whims, (or not, as they decided). You cannot help but feel slightly distraught after finding this information.
Were you ever going to become an ISFL player in the first place? Was it ever going to be a possibility?
Watch the game: You decide to just pretend that the last little bit of time did not happen, and you turn your attention to focus on the game. While your team is still winning, missing that extra point was slightly devastating to the team. It may be the difference between a one possession score and a two possession score, (and really, right now, you are just hoping you are not the one possessed).
After the kickoff, you are able to watch your team work and play the game to the best of their ability. For every decent play that the opposing team’s offense seems to have, your defense also ends up with a sack. This will definitely be a game which has multiple stat records being broken, but you are just trying to focus on everyone enjoying their time and having a good game.
Your defense is able to stop the push, and the opposing team comes onto the field to kick a field goal. It was close, but ruled no good after it swung wide. “You are welcome,” you hear the voice say. Do you:
Ignore it
Say thank you
Say thank you: You know better than to piss off a disembodied voice. You are not exactly sure if you are completely and legitimately thankful for it’s interruption and support of your team, but you thank it nevertheless. “You are most welcome, child,” the voice says. So what now, you think.
“I have had my fun, if you are ready to win the game, I can leave your team to it. You will win, you are superior. Or if you would like to mess with them more, just let me know. I am willing to indulge you this once.”
Mess with the other team
Thank you, let us win now please
Thank you, let us win now please: You quietly, but very respectfully thank the disembodied voice for everything that it has done for you. While you are truly appreciative of any advantage that was offered to you, you also know that it does not feel good to win by cheating. Not that there would be any way to prove the cheating, but still, you would know and it does not sit well in your stomach.
Your offense takes to the field and continues to march the ball down the field. After another touchdown and a two point conversion, you find yourself feeling good about the outcome. After the opposing team’s defense fumbles the ball once more, you know that your team has this game in the bag. Without real worry, your entire team watches the clock run down as the game ends. With cheers and fans flooding the stadium, you really wonder if this was something that actually happened, or were you in some kind of fever dream.
“It really happened,” the voice says once more. Then it begs you to start over, maybe this time without the help of supernatural forces.
Mess with the other team: As much as you have been put through this game, you cannot help but ask for some help to mess with the other team one last time. After all, when will you get an opportunity like this again? You watch the game unfold and notice that the opposing teams players have cleats stuck in the ground, shoelaces coming untied, and strange issues with foreign objects flying in front of their helmets.
The clock also seems to be counting down twice as quickly whenever they have taken the field, and at almost a standstill while your offense is pushing the ball down. In what feels like the blink of an eye, but you can still remember every moment of, the game is over. Your team has reigned victorious, and your entire team rushes into the locker room riding the high of winning. As you celebrate, you cannot help but feel a twinge of guilt.
Maybe the next time you won’t try to manipulate the world around you (or do, I don’t care).
Ignore it: Ignoring the disembodied voice seems like the best option all around. After all, if you cannot acknowledge that something is happening, then clearly it will not continue to happen, right? Your offense takes to the field and it seems like the same song and dance as before. As you start to enter field goal territory, you find yourself growing more and more nervous. What if you really did something to make this disembodied voice angry? Would you be able to still win the game?
Trying your best to ignore it, you find that you are being called onto the field to kick a field goal. After the miss from the other team, you are feeling more nervous. The coach wanders up to you and reminds you that it is just a game, and that clearly some funky things have been happening on kicks. He lets you know that he will not blame you for anything that might happen on this field goal. Feeling moderately relieved, you take your position on the field.
Take the kick
Take the kick: As you move to take the kick, you start to feel the earth shake beneath you. It seems odd, as the game isn’t exactly taking place where there are earthquakes frequently. As everyone drops to their knees, you try to steady yourself against the quaking ground.
Before you are able to do much more, however, small fissures start to open within the field. Screams begin to be heard from the stands and you notice your teammates running away from the center of the field. Before you can get yourself to move, however, you notice that the cracks seem to surround you completely. “Did you truly think that you could ignore me? What a fool you are.” the voice says from the void. The piece of land you are on thrusts itself into the air and you are barely able to hang on as you begin to feel cold and lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. The ground is hardly visible and you feel yourself shaking - who did you make angry this time?
“That is not information you need to know. Begone from this world, foul beast, return to the beginning and try to find something better this time.”
Sneak the ball with the quarterback: You feel like a quarterback sneak would be the right play here. Your team does not need to gain a bunch of yards, and instead needs to do just enough to make the first down. It is inches, that is all. Surely, your quarterback can do that. “Yes, he can,” you hear a voice say once more. Just when it looks like your quarterback was getting stuck in the huddle, he seems to be pushed from behind by an invisible force.
It seems as though you are now controlling what happens in this narrative. “Don’t be silly, you are not controlling anything. I still have all of the power, I am just considering your suggestions.”
Feeling a little bit anxious, you watch the next few plays without trying to think of what your team should do.
After waiting 40 seconds, nothing happened on the field. A delay of game penalty is called, and you find yourself staring at the field. Do you really control what is going to happen in the rest of this game?
Tell them to throw a pass play
Run the ball
Run the ball: “Shove it up the middle,” is exactly the phrasing that you used. While it seems like you should maybe be more careful about your wording, you know that you want your team to dominate right now. “As you wish,” the voice seems to say next to you. You smile as you watch your offense do exactly as you asked: push the ball up the middle. Your running back is able to find a great hole, and your offense makes their way down the field. As he is stopped within the ten yard line, you are wondering what your next play call should be.
You think about it for quite awhile, but it seems as though you never get to have the answer. The entire time that you were imagining talking to some higher power, you were actually suffering from a brain eating amoeba. As it began to disintegrate your hold on reality, you started foaming at the mouth. Apparently, the deterioration from losing your grip on the world to total death was not very long. The team retires your number, and you become inducted as a honoree in the hall of fame, even though you never finished a game. You continue to be mentioned in passing, and moments of silence are dedicated to you.
You advance the research of science and medicine as they perform an autopsy on your body, and they end of discovering the cure to the brain eating amoeba that had infected you. While you may have died, your death contributed to the betterment of society.
I guess I would call that a win? Do you want to try another path?
Tell them to throw a pass play: “That does not seem like a great idea against this defense, but it is your call boss.” The team continues to run a pass play, and the ball is immediately intercepted by the defense. So much for doing some good in this game. You start to wonder if you are losing your mind still, were you hearing the voices in your head, or not really?
“Just figured you should lose, since I am not exactly the nice guy here.”
Recognizing that you apparently were dealing with a not so benevolent being, you look at the field and see the game clock being rundown almost instantaneously. Apparently, not only did you piss off the devil, but you also managed to lose the game for your team in the process.
As you enter the locker room feeling defeated, you have to wonder, would this have happened if you had made different life choices? Do you decide to believe in reincarnation?
Who do you think you are? God?: As much as you wanted your defense to be amazing at stopping the opposing team’s offense, you do not control this narrative. The sick person in the sky who has become the god of this world has decided that no, your defense does not get to have nice things. They let the offense score a touchdown, and you have to sit back and watch, contemplating how meaningless and pointless your life has become when everything is outside of your control, even the decisions that you have made.
Try again bro
Veggies: You decide that the best snack will be some veggies, and you begin munching like there is no tomorrow. Unfortunately, the snack that you have grabbed is carrot sticks. You cannot hear a word that the coach says during your stay in the locker room. Neither can anyone else. You wanted to do something else for your team, but clearly you were just a distracted that was unnecessary. The coach asks you to leave, and you decide that means you get to go home.
While that was not the coach’s intention, you are already back home by the time you realize he may have just meant to leave the locker room. Oh well.
There are always other games. Would you like to try again?
Fruit: You decide that the fruit will have the right sugars for you, and you know that you could use the quick energy boost from the sugar. You start snacking on some fruit slices and reminiscing about when the moms at football camp would pre slice and package oranges. You really miss the orange slices, and even though the apple you are eating is delicious, you cannot help but feel some sadness that it is not an orange.
You did not notice until you finished the few flies that were zooming around the fruit platter. As you exit and get back onto the field, you are left wondering - were there any fly babies in your apple? You sure hope not.
Watch the game
Zone out
Zone out: You cannot help but shake the feeling of being off after noticing all of the bugs surrounding the fruit. You feel a little nauseated, but that really is not what seems to be bothering you the most. You want to continue watching, but it just does not seem possible for you. You start to focus on your breathing, and you cannot tell if you are really feeling hotter, or if it is the start of a panic attack happening.
You keep focusing on your breathing, and a bead of sweat starts to drop down your face. Was this the right choice? Did you do something horrible?
Try not to die
Try not to die: You really do not want this to be your demise, ended by fruit on the sidelines of a football game that is not going your way. Your defense is able to make a stoppage during the game, but your offense continues to struggle. You find it difficult still to pay attention, but you know that you have to keep at it before something happens. You still are not sure what that might be, but you feel your insides wanting to move onto your outsides.
As the coach calls you over to kick a punt (seriously, come on offense), you are finding yourself with immense pain in your back. You do not know what it is, but you feel like you need to march onto the field and try kicking the punt. Maybe playing the game will help to take your mind off of the pain - surely it must be all in your head.
Kick the ball
Kick the ball: You get onto the field and are lined up in position. Right before the ball is hiked, you feel the pain stabbing you in the back. You think you hear a ripping sound, but it is hard to tell with the gasp from the crowd. As you see the ball fly toward you from the long snapper, you catch it, but instead of your human hands reaching for the ball, you notice that you now have more appendages.
What is going on? The crowd begins to scream, and your teammates turn to look toward you. The defensive line is standing there, while your offense starts to back away from you. You try to talk, to ask them what has happened, but you find you cannot get the words to come out. As you hold onto the ball - far more difficult, mind you, since you don’t actually have fingers anymore - you start to make your way down the field. Walking is difficult, so you feel yourself begin to use your back muscles for something different - wings, apparently.
You start to see multiple of your teammates, and are wondering if this double vision is really something to do with the panic attack that you were feeling earlier. Maybe you are hallucinating.
As you begin to fly out of the stadium, you start to see broadcasts appearing everywhere - you are not hallucinating. You have been turned into a fly.
Buzz buzz all the way back to the beginning.
Watch the game: You feel the sugar in the fruit starting to work, and you cannot help but feel excited about the fact that your team has this in the second half. Your offense starts running the ball, and you watch as they have positive play after positive play. The offense is gaining yards, and you are cheering them on with every down. They reach field goal range and you feel that this is your moment to take control of the game. If nothing else, you will go up by just a few points. You hope that your offense can do more than that, however, and so you keep watching intently.
Continue watching
Continue watching: Hopeful that your team will score the touchdown, you watch as they inch closer and closer into the red zone. Unfortunately, this is where your team struggles the most and your offense is not able to push through the red zone and score the touchdown. Thankfully, they have you on the team and you march out with your field goal squad. Doin’ your thang as a squad, you line up, have the ball hiked and set, and then you make your sweet sweet kick, leading your team on the road to victory. It lines up, the referees signal that it is good and you get ready to kick off to the opposing team.
That kick feels good too, and you cannot help but feel that the game is going to continue on in your positive direction.
Watch the game
Zone out
Zone out: Your team’s defense seems to be struggling to stop their offense, but honestly you are not really sure. You do not hear much from the crowd in cheers, claps, or boos. It does not seem as if any great plays are being made.
Instead, you start to feel something weird within your stomach. Maybe the fruit was bad. Realizing that at the rate the game is going, you probably will not be needed for a while, you head into the locker room to go to the bathroom.
I will not go into the details, but you are feeling violently ill, and are bound to the bathroom for the rest of the game. The coach does not know where you went, and is furious at you for leaving. While he may have had sympathy if you told him you were feeling sick, he does not have sympathy for you just wandering off. You are cut from the first string, and have now resigned yourself to be the backup kicker for the next several games. Was this the end of your career? You are not sure.
You just hope that your stomach will not be angry enough that you can leave the bathroom before the end of the decade.
I hope you feel better, do you want to try again?
Watch the game: You watch for almost the rest of the third quarter as your defense struggles to stop their offensive line. The other team does not make a lot of yardage with each play, but as we know from the tortoise and the hare story, slow and steady can definitely win the race. Not only are they inching closer to taking the lead, but it also seems as though they are going to run the clock out enough to make it even more difficult for your team to match up with the points.
You continue to watch and feel a sense of dread as the opposing team reaches the red zone. You know that your team struggles to convert here, but you also know that you are struggling to hold their offensive line, too. Not everyone struggles, but your team is apparently worse than theirs in this respect.
Watching, horrified as they score a touchdown, you bite your lip and hope that your offense can do more on this next drive.
Watch the kickoff
Ignore the kick off
Ignore the kickoff: After spiraling out of control, you want nothing more than to ignore the kickoff and the game completely. This kicker has already asserted dominance over you with your team, and you cannot help but feel like a lost puppy that is being kicked while it’s down. You turn your attention elsewhere, and when you hear the groan of the crowd, you know that something unfortunate has happened.
Your team seems to lose quickly and while you would hope the other team would show mercy, and allow their second stringers some additional playtime, that does not appear to be the case. They are out for blood and continue to dominate you. Every time it seems as though you will be able to move down the field, there is an interception, a fumble, or a massive sack. Your quarterback begins to leave the field, feeling paranoid that everyone is out to get you. It seems that not only is this game a total loss, but you may need to find replacement players for the trauma that seems to be surrounding your offensive line.
The game is seriously over. Better luck next time.
Watch the kickoff: You sit back and watch the opposing kicker, his form is alright, but you know that you can do so much better. As his kick falls near the 30 yard line, you find yourself feeling a smug sense of accomplishment. You are the superior kicker, and you know that regardless of what the stats will say, you could kick his butt in a kicking contest.
Your receiver fields the ball with a fair catch - with it being a shorter kick, he did not feel as though he was going to have the room to run. That’s alright, though, because you know that your team only has to march about 70 yards for the lead. Considering you have an entire quarter to do it in, you feel good about your chances. The first few plays begin to make you feel nervous, but you know that your team has this. They start pushing down the field. Apparently this game is going to be made of your defense.
Tragedy strikes, however, when your quarterback throws an interception. How could you not see this coming? Of course it was too good to be true.
Continue watching
Continue watching: You keep your eyes glued to the field. There is nothing more fascinating than the trainwreck that your team is headed on. Already feeling behind, the clock ticking down, and now an interception has your defense feeling on edge. You can see the defeatist attitudes resting with each and every one of them as they line up. It seems as though there is zero coverage, and the opposing offense is able to make some great gains quickly.
The game spirals out of control and into some horrible plays for your team. After scoring another touchdown, your receiver fumbles the kickoff return and they score yet again. You head into the locker room with only a minute left, because you know that they will not need you anymore. If your team wanted to have any chance, they were going to need touchdowns, not kickers.
The game ends and your entire team feels the weight of defeat. Do you even want to play again next week? It does not seem like it will go any better for you.
Better luck next time. Try again?
Listen to the coach: You listen as the coach talks to the team during halftime. You are engaged, you are ready, and you are PUMPED! You know that when your team marches onto the field after half time you are going to kick some serious behind. Getting ready to exit the tunnel, you and your team are hollering like gorillas. You need to kickoff to start the second half do you:
Kick it
Kick it hard
Kick it hard: You want this ball to be as deep as possible - you run at it with everything you have got and kick the ball hard. As the ball is flying through the air, it got a lot more height than you realized. It hits the skycam and drops onto the field. The referees and opposing team are not sure how to react, but you watch as one of your teammates picks up the ball in the confusion - just in case.
The referees need to have a little
Maybe one day it’ll get finished. Doubt it, but you know, have at it.
Use this link to get the entire experience of the game. Please be careful when you click - if you accidentally click the slides, they will move forward one slide (use the left arrow, or back key to fix this). Click on the links and it will take you to your choice. Everything should be correct.
Your Adventure Begins Here!
If you want to know which section actually has a lot of decisions, then look at my player position, otherwise, have at it.
Welcome to the ISFL
You have decided to join the football team. It is uncertain as to what this will mean for your future right now, but you are very clearly dedicated to the choice that you have made. For now, your first of many decisions is ahead of you. Which position would you like to play?
Offense
Defense
Kicker/Punter
Offense: As you think about being on the offensive, you are looking to score. You want to help work the ball down the field in a position direction. You still have choices that are laid out in front of you, and you have to wonder, will you throw, catch or run? Or will you work to protect the football at all costs?
Throw the Ball
Catch the Ball
Run the Ball
Protect the Ball Carriers
Defense: As you think about being on defensive, you are looking to attack. You want to find the ball carrier and crush him, and if possible, you want to take that ball and run far far away with it. But, you’ll also mostly be content with crushing the ball carrier. Are you going to focus more on trying to be quick and get to the Quarterback, or will you work on chasing the ball down?
Tackle the Quarterback
Chase the Ball
Kicker/Punter: You do not really care about who has the ball or where it ends up as long as it is down the feel, and generally, preferably, through the uprights. Whether you hold the ball, a teammate holds the ball, or a piece of plastic holds the ball, you know how important it is for your foot to meet the ball. The question for you is are you going to focus on strength or accuracy?
Strength
Accuracy
Strength: You know that there is no greater power than kicking the ball as hard and as far as you can. Being able to sail a 60 yard field goal is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Who cares if it hits the post as long as you can get it as far down the field as possible. You sit on the sidelines, waiting for your chance, and waiting for the team to score.
They make a great attempt at a drive, but fall short of the touchdown. The ball is sitting on the right hashmark, and you know that you’ll need to angle it to get it in. Do you:
Kick the ball
Kick the ball hard
Attempt to aim
Kick the ball hard: You know that you need to do nothing more than kick this ball like it is your bitch. You take a few steps back and get ready to wind up. You start running toward the ball, and suddenly you get Peanut’s flashbacks. You know that your holder is not Lucy, but you cannot help but feel as though he’s going to pull the ball away at the last moment.
As you reach your leg out to swing and hit the ball, you realize that in fact, your intuition was correct. The holder is not there anymore, and in fact the play was a fake all along. The only reason the other team fell for it was because you didn’t pay attention. You swung as hard as you could to kick the ball, and you landed on your back. Your head rattles around inside of your helmet, and you begin to see Woodstock floating around your head. The team helps carry you back to the sidelines and the coaches begin checking you for a concussion. It looks like you will be out for the rest of the game as you are taken to the hospital.
Game over, try again.
Attempt to Aim: You know that you are not the best at aiming, it is not why the team drafted you, but you know that this is a tricky shot to make. You attempt to adjust for it being on the right hash, but you suddenly cannot remember where that means you should stand. Should you be more straight on, or should you stand over to one side of the ball.
You adjust in the wrong direction and you completely hook the ball. It does not fly anywhere near the posts and your teammates grumble as you return to the sidelines. As the plays continue will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Watch the game: You watch as the defensive line takes the field. You are hopeful that they will be able to hold the line and the fact that your team will be down a few points will not be entirely on you. Unfortunately, as you continue to attempt to cheer your defense on, they do not impress. The opposing team pushes hard, and on a breakaway pass the receiver is able to run it in for a touchdown. You can:
Stare daggers at the enemy kicker and attempt to voodoo curse him
Watch with horror as your team sucks and falls apart
Stare daggers at the enemy kicker and attempt to voodoo curse him: You watch the enemy kicker come onto the field to attempt the point after. You stare at him and begin muttering in tongues under your breath. Your teammates watch you, mild concern showing on their faces, but this is not the first time you have attempted such madness. Unfortunately for you, it does not work and the kick is good.
As you turn your attention away from the kickoff, however, the opposing team's kicker trips slightly toward the ball. The kick is muffed and your team is able to pick it up at decent yardage. Watching your offense, they continue their attempt to push down the field.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Continue Voodoo Magic
Continue Voodoo Magic: You stare at the defensive players and continue to mutter. Your team feigns a little bit more interest now, wondering if you actually did have any impact on the kicker. As the defense is able to stop your team short of a touchdown, you begin to wonder if you only have an impact on the opposing kicker - being the same position and all.
You march onto the field with your special teams unit. Do you:
Kick the field goal normally
Attempt to draw strength from the opposing kicker
Attempt to draw strength from the opposing kicker: You decide to continue to attempt your voodoo magic on the opposing team’s kicker. Knowing that it worked before has only increased your confidence in this manner. As you attempt to suck the strength from his leg and imbue your own body with it, you feel a slight tingle all around you.
You kick the ball and it goes flying toward the goal posts. As it continues through the air, you feel as though you are unstoppable. A sudden scream has you looking around the stadium. You are not only glowing, but you are in fact engulfed in flames. Staring at the sidelines, you realize that you have not only drawn the strength from the opposing kicker, but his very life force itself. As you realize that you are more powerful than you could imagine, the field begins to bend to your will. This game will be yours by sheer force of will.
Congratulations, you have successfully drained the enemy’s life force. You continue to take over the football arena and eventually the world. With this newfound power you are allowed to rebirth and try again.
Kick the field goal normally: While you really hoped that you were filled with voodoo powers, you recognize that correlation is not causation and the opposing kicker just had a bad day. You step onto the field with your special teams and you focus your mind on clearing and being ready to make the kick. With a deep breath, you run at the ball and - success! It goes through the uprights without much fanfare. You are still behind in this game, but you are very hopeful that your team will be successful. There are only a few minutes left before half time, as you look to kick the ball of will you:
Kick the ball deep in the endzone
Kick the ball
Kick the ball deep in the endzone: You look down the field and you know that you do not want to give the opposing team a chance to run the ball before halftime - at least, not for free. You kick the ball as hard as you can. It goes sailing down the field and you hope that it will make it through the uprights, even from kickoff. While you make a good attempt, there is a receiver in the endzone and he catches the ball with ease. Sensing an opening, he begins running down the field.
It does not look good - your defenders are not blocking, and even though you try to cut him off, he’s just too fast. The receiver runs for 102 yards, resulting in a kickoff touchdown. Distraught, you leave the field and hope that your team can make up any of the missing points before the half.
Watch the game
Watch the game: You watch in horror as your offensive line cannot even compete against the now empowered defense. If only you had worked harder to voodoo magic the enemy team, but you quickly realize that that time has since passed. Your offensive line is stopped on the third down with 1 yard to go. In desperation and hope, the coach attempts a fourth down conversion. Failing, the possession changes, and you turn your head in shame for the last few seconds of the half. Entering the locker room, you feel defeated do you.
Attempt your voodoo powers again in desperation
Listen to the coach
Kick the locker in frustration
Listen to the coach: You sit down with your teammates and listen as the coach makes an impassioned speech. The team came into this locker room feeling defeated, and it is the coach’s job to make sure that you can come out feeling as though you will be able to do it. You listen, hoping the coach will not make any huge pleas that your team will not be able to accomplish, but you can feel the coach inspiring you. You run out of the tunnel, excited and ready to dominate the second half.
As you get ready for the kick off, you know that no matter what you have got this.
Kick the ball
Kick the ball: You reach the field, and you are ready for the kickoff. You run down the ball, but before you can kick, it yeets itself off the stand. Grumbling mildly to yourself, you place the ball back onto the stand and line back up to kick it again. Unfortunately the ball yeets itself off of the stand again, fortunately, you weren’t even running at it this time. One of your teammates comes over to hold the ball, and you wind yourself once more for the kickoff. Are you:
Frustrated
Focused
Frustrated: You cannot help but feel it is a personal affront from the ball as it does not stay on the stand. Sure, your teammate is holding it now, but how do you know that something awful will not come of this? Angry beyond measure, you wind up for the kick. Fueled by the power of rage, you kick the ball fiercely down the field. It sails down the field. As the receiver catches the ball at the two yard line, he looks to scramble and try and gain additional yardage. He backs into the endzone, looking for an escape and is tackled - resulting in a safety for your team. Apparently being fueled with rage is beneficial for your team. As your team continues playing will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Attempt your voodoo powers again in desperation: You know that it was probably a fluke the first time, but you cannot help but want to call upon the dark forces once more during half time. Lighting some incense, you start to breathe in deeply. You do not want to have any distractions when it comes time to calling upon these darker powers. You begin to breathe deeply and the world around you changes shape and form. You begin to feel as though you can take the life force from any being around you.
Leave the locker room
Leave the locker room: You leave the locker room, feeling that you can see the special waves of wind as you look at the field. You believe that you can harness this newfound power as you go to kickoff. You know that your team will be victorious if you can only float the ball upon these magical waves.
After the kickoff, the crowd starts to scream - smoke is coming from the tunnel. You forgot to put out your delicious smells and have unfortunately set the locker room and the stadium on fire. The stadium is evacuated and you are fined and kicked off the team for attempting your hippy mumbo jumbo.
Try again, and this time, let’s keep the voodoo powers to a minimum
Kick the locker in frustration: You are beyond angry and frustrated and you decide to take it out on your innocent locker. Fortunately for the locker, it is made of tougher stuff, and you do not even dent the material. Unfortunately for you, you break your toes. Letting out a screen as agonizing as Aragorn kicking an orc helmet, you fall to the ground, tears streaming down your face.
The medical team comes over to evaluate you. You have ended your time in this game, and you will not even be on the field to watch the second half.
Try again.
Kick the ball: You do what kickers do best. You kick the ball. It is not an impressive kick by any means, but you are certainly doing your job. The ball narrowly misses the uprights, but bounces over as it hits the bar. The kick is good, you got your team some points on the board, and you know that it is time for you to go back to sitting on the bench, waiting for some more action.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Zone out: You are not paying much attention to the game, and you are more worried about what cute girls you can spot in the stands. Smiling and nodding at one nearby female, you suddenly hear the coach yelling your name. You run out to the field, uncertain of what play actually needs to happen.
The ball is snapped and it goes straight over your head. It was a punt! You have two choices:
Attempt to recover the ball and run
Just attempt to recover the ball
Attempt to recover the ball and run: You try to pick up the ball, knowing that this was entirely your fault. Wanting to do something positive for your teammates after you had slacked off in the game, you attempt to run the ball down the field.
Unfortunately, the other team is filled with very large players. They tackle you and it leaves your head spinning. As you get up, you are not sure that you’ll be able to play. It does not feel like a concussion, but something feels off with your leg. As the medical staff look you over, it seems that you have indeed injured yourself. You’ll be out for the rest of the game.
Game over, try again.
Just attempt to recover the ball: You jump on the ball and let yourself seem weak and defenseless on the ground. As you feel the defensive players come running up to tackle you, you begin whimpering loudly. It is not professional, but face it, you are terrified of them. It is why you became a kicker in the first place.
They gently tap you to mark you as down, and you return to the sidelines. Will you:
Watch the game
Zone out
Watch the Game: You focus on watching the game, chatting with your teammates, and cheering the team on. Whenever a great play has been made, or someone hit a rough patch, you are always there being the encouragement of your team. The coach notices how involved you are being, and you can sense the silent praise he is offering you.
The team scores a touchdown and you go onto the field to kick the extra point.
Kick the point
Kick the point: Doing your job as kicker, you successfully sail the extra point into the uprights. Your team begins to take a commanding lead, and you feel great as you continue to adventure in this game.
Watch the Game
Zone Out
Zone Out: Your team is winning, and you realize that they’ve got this. You shouldn’t need to pay too much attention while the game continues on. Instead of cheering your team on, you tapping your feet against the ground. You have got to do something to keep yourself entertained. The more that you move your foot, the more you begin to realize that it feels like there is a rock or something within your shoe. Do you:
Ignore it
Take your shoe off and fix the problem
Ignore it: You assume that it is not that big of a deal and you decide to ignore what is happening within your shoe. When it becomes time for you to march onto the field and kick the ball, your focus rests entirely on the thing in your shoe. You keep shaking your foot, trying to get it fixed before the play goes off. It is almost time for you to perform do you:
Kick with it in your shoe
Call a timeout to fix it
Kick with it in your shoe: You know that the coach would be furious if you were to call a timeout, so you decide to grit your teeth and just make the play as is. You line up to kick, and hear the ball be snapped. You run, but as you go to plant your foot right before kicking, whatever was in your shoe digs into your foot just right (or wrong, as you might think). You stumble, and end up squibbing the field goal. The opposing team recovers and runs down the field.
As you hobble to the sidelines, the coach is trying to figure out “What in the hell” happened on the field. You can:
Lie about your shoe
Be honest
Lie about your shoe: You shrug and mumble something incoherent to your coach. As much as you wanted to be able to do something more than that, you know that you are just a big disappointment on your opening game career. Feeling completely defeated and lacking confidence, you decide to unlace your shoe and look inside to see what could have possibly caused you pain like that. As you take your shoe off, you tilt it, trying to dump out anything inside. When nothing falls out, you continue to shake it, stick your hands inside, and even feel along the bottom of your sock. There is nothing there that seems like it should have caused you grief. Do you:
Take off your sock - clearly it went inside
Put your shoe back on and see if it still hurts
Put your shoe back on and see if it still hurts: Figuring that it was all in your head, you put your shoe back on and lace it up tightly. You begin to walk along the sidelines and feeling nothing that could be remotely painful, you decide to do some practice kicks, to keep yourself warmed up. When everything seems to be going well, you shrug and let yourself sit back down on the bench. Will you:
Zone Out
Watch the Game
Zone Out: Still haunted by the mysterious pain that struck your foot, you are still finding it hard to focus on the game. You keep tapping and testing out your shoes every once in a while to make sure that you are not going crazy. Do not worry, it still does not hurt, but you just cannot get past the fact that you no longer feel like you trust your feet. When it comes time to kick an extra point after a touchdown, you are wondering if you are going to be too distracted. It is close to the half, so maybe you’ll just have to kick this and then kick off, and you’ll be able to take a break and truly relax. As you go onto the field to kick the extra point you have two choices:
Kick it like a boss
Worry about hurting yourself
Worry about hurting yourself: Even though everything seems normal, you know that that pain you had felt in your foot could not possibly be normal. You have a serious fear that it was not just something that was going to happen as a one off, but instead could lead to bigger problems for you later.
You try to let the coach know that you feel off, that your foot has been hurting, and that you are really worried that it might be something that could lead to permanent damage. As much as the coach is annoyed that you did not come and tell him earlier (would it have been so hard, you could have gotten checked out a long time ago!), he calls the medical team over and they start to check you out. As you move off to the side of the sidelines, the backup kicker makes their way onto the field. You know that it is only a matter of time before you are checked out and hopefully cleared, but you hear the crowd cheer. While you are thankful for good backup, you also hope that this does not cost you your starting spot.
The medical team is not exactly sure what is wrong with you, but they advise you to rest for the rest of the game, and maybe even the week. You do not like the sound of that, but you can’t really argue, especially since the coach seems to agree with them.
Your team wins, but you are forced to sit out the rest of the game. It kind of stinks, doesn’t it? Do you want to try a different path?
Watch the game: It is not that you do not have faith in your defense, but really, you would just like to make sure that your defense has a cheering crowd for them. After all, it would stink if every time you went on the field the rest of the team went off and did whatever. You know that you want to pay the same respects to your teammates. You watch as the defense struggles slightly, and at one point it seems as though you are not going to be able to hold them until the half. You keep watching and cross your fingers, really hoping that you can do something to make it happen for the defense.
It is not pretty, and it is far closer than anyone on your team would feel comfortable with, but your defense is able to hold, and you go into halftime feeling alright, but not exactly riding the high of thrashing the other team. As you take care of some needs while listening to the coach, you feel a sense of pride about being on this team. This is not just the fact that you got drafted to an ISFL team - you got drafted the best damn ISFL team of all time. They will be your family, and you know that as you leave the locker room and go back during the second half, that you will do everything you possibly can to make a win happen tonight.
Leave the locker room
Leave the locker room: As you leave the locker room you reach the sidelines only to remember that it is in fact your turn to kick off to the other team. You begin to make your way to where you are supposed to go and you see your teammates lined up, and the ball is resting on the stand. You are feeling really good about this kickoff and while you know that it may be a little bit difficult, you are going to do your best to try and kick it through the uprights, because after all you are a strength kicker and you are feeling amazing right now. The coach clearly did his job well.
You go to kick the ball, and right before you can it plops itself off of the ball stand. Hoping that this is not a repeat of your nightmares, you set the ball back up, and take your position again. You look down the line at your teammates, and with a nod to yourself, you run at the ball with everything you’ve got. You kick it hard, and watch as it goes through the air. It seems like it is going to be a deep ball, no matter what, but you watch as it sails cleanly through the uprights. If only it counted for field goal stats, you would be unstoppable.
You return to the sidelines feeling good. Are you ready to watch the defense?
Yes
Not really, I wanna kick more
Yes: Feeling fantastic about the start to this half, you find yourself captivated by the game. Your defense has taken the field and you know that it is only a matter of time before you are back out there, supporting your offense. There are a very dicey plays, and the opposing team’s offense is able to make some great throws, and while they are gaining yardage and first downs, you still feel confident than your defense will get the job done.
One particular play has you slightly worried about your defense, and confused, however. After the snap, they were able to successfully rush the quarterback. He is a sneaky player, though, and he started running from the defenders to prevent the sack. 30 yards backward and one heck of a pass later, and it seems as though the quarterback actually and successfully got away from the defenders. Now in the red zone, your defense will really need to step up to prevent what seems like the inevitable touchdown.
Continuing to watch your defense, you keep cheering and hollering out to them, hopeful that they can make the stop right now.
Keep watching, they can do it!
I can’t look, I am too scared
Keep watching, they can do it!: You have a belief in your team that rivals all others. While it might be incredibly nerve wracking and scary to do so, you continue to watch the game. You feel confident that the offense is going to run a pass play, and you watch as your defense lines up to protect against the same. With fingers crossed, you just hope that the offense does not try to do anything sneaky, or, rather, if they do that your defense is ready for them.
The ball is snapped and you watch as the quarterback drops back into the pocket. Outside of him scrambling for the touchdown, he seems intent on passing the ball. You watch as defenders try to break their blockers to reach the quarterback, but it does not seem as if anyone will be successful here.
The quarterback drops his arm back and you watch, with somewhat of mock horror, as the ball flies toward the end zone. The pass is perfectly poised to enter into the receivers arms. All signs point to touchdown.
Watch the catch
Watch the catch: While it seemed as though the pass was going to result in a touchdown, one of your defenders came out of nowhere to intercept the ball. As he is brought down within the end zone, you cheer with your offense - touchback. Knowing that you not only denied them any points, but also solidified your offense gets the ball is a great feeling. You pat the defender who intercepted the ball on the bottom as he returns to the sidelines.
He gives you a weird look, but sits down on the bench, scooting away from you a little.
The offense takes the field and begins to power the ball down, achieving first down after first down. While they continue to make progress down the field, it seems as though the amount of yards per play is slowing down as you venture deeper into enemy territory. Your offense goes 3 and out after pushing down the field, and while it might be a little longer than you normally kick, the coach decides to attempt the field goal.
Kick it
Fake it
Fake it: Trusting in your skills from practices, the coach has given your special teams the liberty to decide when to fake the ball. If it ever feels optimal to throw or run the ball instead of kick, you have been granted full license to do so. As you march onto the field and into the huddle, you start chatting with your teammates. You tell them that you feel really good about trying to fake this field goal - you think that the pass play will be the right decision, but you are not completely confident about that.
The last decision that you have to decide is who will throw or run the ball - you or the holder. Both of you have attempted this in practice, but never really in the game.
Obviously I will throw the ball
Let the holder do it I don’t want the responsibility
Obviously I will throw the ball: Feeling slightly nervous as you go to line up, you notice the formation of the opposing team. After seeing them lined up, you are beginning to feel a lot better than ever before. (SLIDE 49)
Kick it like a boss: Forcing your brain to accept that there is nothing wrong with your foot, you set your mind to do one thing: Kick this ball like a boss. You wait for the snap and then feel your foot connect with the ball as it sails into the air and through the uprights. Now all you have to do is kickoff, and hope that your defense can survive the few minutes until halftime. Hopefully a nice long break will make it easier for you as you keep going with the game. Do you:
Trust your defense and zone out
Watch the game
Trust your defense and zone out: You know what your teammates can do and you trust your defense to keep this game safe and close. They quickly get the ball turned over but your offense decides to play it safe and just enter into the half. You join them in the locker room and are excited to let your body rest a little. Decided to keep your feet elevated and massage them gently, do you:
Listen to the coach
Grab a snack
Grab a Snack: In the locker room, you feel yourself starting to fade. Not only are you tired, and a tiny bit bored (being a kicker is not the most glorious of positions at times), but you can also feel your stomach start to rumble something fierce. You know that you have only a little bit of time, and if you want to be able to play without feeling totally awful, you need to eat something now. You decide that you are going to grab a snack, as that is the only thing that will quiet the ferocious roar that now lives within your stomach. You need to decide between:
Fruit
Veggies
Protein Bar
Protein Bar: You know that you need some protein for the rest of the game. You grab a quick bar like the rest of your teammates and you sit down to eat it while listening to the coach. Clearly you are superior because you can do two things at once. The coach gives a speech that leaves you awed and inspired. There is nothing you cannot do if you work as a team, and as a team you have decided that you are going to win this.
You all march - no - rush out of the tunnel and back onto the field. You are more ready for this than you could ever know. Watching your special teams get ready to receive the kick, you start chanting under your breath, “Our kicker is better than your kicker.” Over and over you do this, until the kick off has finished. It was not the greatest kick that has ever happened, and you wonder if you had anything to do with causing their kicker to be bad.
Watch your offense
Chant a little more juju
Chant a little more juju: Feeling confident that it worked, you start chanting a little more after your awesome snack. Clearly that protein bar was doing something right. As you start chanting for your team to continue dominating, you feel that a slight tingle starting in your fingertips. It does not necessarily feel wrong, but you are not really sure if it is an appropriate feeling, either.
Your offense continues to push down the field and you grin as you start feeling more and more power come to you. As you start to make decisions for play calls in your head, you seem them playing out onto the field. It seems as though you have since gained the ability to control this game. You look down at the wrapper of your protein bar, and look carefully as it clearly says “Power bar”. Does this mean that it has granted you the power to control the game?
Just watch the game
Try to tell the coach
Just watch the game: You continue to watch as your team scores a touchdown. The coach decides to go for two to make up some lost points in the game, and then you kick off down the field. You will the ball to go through the endzone and you find that it did so, easily.
As you continue watching, you keep making tiny requests with your newfound power. You are still doubting that it is not just coincidence, but after you make an outrageous play call, you find yourself recognizing that you really do have the power to control the game. Just to prove yourself, you demand that the ball be snapped and everyone just stands there for two minutes, watching one another - no running, no tackling, just standing around before the play can actually start.
After two stationary minutes, you realize that it worked. As the game ends, you decide that it is time to retire as a kicker and begin a career as a coach. You know that being able to call each play perfectly will only make you go down in history - and coaches are more well remembered than kickers. You want to be famous, not forgotten.
Begin your new career?
Watch your offense: You watch your offense strut their stuff out on the field. Your quarterback is feeling good and it is obvious as you watch how comfortable he is in the pocket. He is protected and has all of the time in the world to make his passing decisions. As he throws the ball far down the field, you find yourself cheering with the rest of your team - not only was the pass caught, but your receiver was almost able to score the touchdown.
Stuck in the red zone, you know this is not where your team shines, but you have to remain hopeful. They are trying so hard, and you know that if they can just continue to work at it, you will have a team that is more than ready to do what is asked of them. The first few plays do not look good as you see your quarterback struggle to find an open receiver. With less space, it is more difficult for your receivers to gain the distance they are known for. You start muttering that they should run the ball instead, and shove it in. Sure enough, however, the next play has them set up for a pass, again.
Shock marks your face, however, as you watch the quarterback run the ball into the end zone. Not only is it a touchdown, but you are also beginning to wonder if you have a little extra control over this game.
Kick the extra point.
Kick the extra point: You hop onto the field, ready to kick the extra point. Everyone is lined up, set, and you see the ball leave the long snappers hands. Running, you feel your form perfect as you kick the ball. It sails through the air and right in between the uprights. It is a textbook kick and you do a little shimmy of a dance as you prepare for the kickoff.
Lined up, you need to make a new choice:
Kick the ball
Chant for the receiver to drop it
Chant for the receiver to drop it: You decide to test out your theory one more time, and as you rush to kick the ball, you feel yourself begin to let out your breath in a continuous chant of “Drop the ball.” Repeating it over and over again, you look at the ball as it flies through the air. It seems like a more difficult ball to catch, and you are surprised that the receiver has not signaled for a fair catch yet. He seems to be waiving off his teammates in a clear signal of “I’ve got this.”
He did not have it, though. The ball slips through his fingers and falls to the ground. Since he touched it, the ball is live. Your defenders rush up to pounce on the ball before the receiving team can even react. Not only did you have a great kick, but it seems as though your chant can work, too.
You move to the sidelines as your offensive line comes back onto the field. While you are thrilled to be able to score points again, you cannot help but feel bad that they barely got a breather.
Watch the Game
Zone out
Zone out: You know that your team is going to continue to try and win the game, so you find yourself struggling to maintain attention. Instead, your focus goes to the string that is hanging loose on your pants. You begin to tug at it, trying to tear the thread with just your hands. Initially, it seems as though you are going to succeed, as the string doesn’t budge, but when you pull extra hard, you hear a tearing sound.
The loose thread has now created a small hole within your pants. Frustrated, you try to brace the fabric a little bit more, making use of the hole to put pressure where the thread is. You pull harder, and the hole gets a tiny bit bigger, but you feel the successful disconnection of the loose thread.
As the special teams unit needs to venture out onto the field, you take a few practice swings with your leg. On one especially high kick, you hear the dreaded tear sound. It wasn’t small, either, but instead, long and ripping. You hear a teammate giggle, and the realization that your pants have torn almost completely in two is upon you. Your underwear is showing for everyone to see, and you are moderately embarrassed - it is day of the week underwear, and you are wearing yesterday’s day (gross).
You rush off into the locker room and the backup kicker takes to the field. While your team wins the game, you have died of embarrassment, and feel the strong urge to retire.
That has to be mortifying, would you like to try again, and maybe this time keep your pants on.
Watch the game: You keep watching the game, every once in awhile trying to chant and let yourself control the outcome of the game. It seems as though it was a mere fluk,e however, as nothing else that you have chanted seems to have any impact on the game at all. Your offense continues to push down the field, and you move on for another extra point and kick off. The game is running smoothly, and your defensive and offensive lines are running like well oiled machines.
As your defense stops them yet again, you watch as the time ticks slowly off of the clock. Not a bad win for your first ever ISFL game. Your stats may not be the most glorious, but there is still time to make your name as the best kicker in the league. After all, it was only your first game.
Congratulations, winner. Would you like to play again?
Kick the ball: You are not going to waste your time trying to do anything fancy, so you just kick the ball. It is boring, it flies down the field, it gets caught by the receiver. He runs back down the field, your defenders tackle him. The special teams moves off of the field onto the sidelines, and you sit back and watch as your defensive line tries their best to stop the ball.
Will they be successful in stopping the offense?
Yes
No
Just because you happened to be right, does not mean you now control this game: You just happened to be correct that your defense will not be successful. The opposing team scores a touchdown and you find yourself growing more and more frustrated. You hear a voice whisper in your ear, “It was a coincidence, and not because that was the choice you made.”
Starting to feel a sense of paranoia, you go on to watch your offense. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of feeling that the little voice was actually anything, and instead focus your attention on the game. As your offense continues to try and move the ball, they are struggling. After three downs, they are mere inches from the first down. What does your offense do?
Sneak the ball with the quarterback
Hail Mary, make a huge pass downfield
Hail Mary, make a huge pass downfield: You know that making a hail mary on a play like this is a risk, and not one that your team even needs to make, but you want them to try it anyway. You watch, almost in slow motion, as the play begins to unfold. The ball is hiked into the quarterback’s awaiting hands, and he begins to run back into the pocket. He keeps his eyes down the field, looking left and right, keeping all of his options open. At first, it does not seem as if any of your receivers will be able to get open. The quarterback begins to run backwards a little, needing to gain some distance from a defender that is headed his way. He starts to back up, and as he does, one of your receivers is able to make a break from his defender.
The quarterback notices this and lets the ball go. It flies through the air like a thing of beauty. As it sails into the awaiting arms of the receiver, he continues down the field. Your quarterback gets slammed into the ground by the defender, but it is okay, your receiver has made it worthwhile. He quickly scores the touchdown and your team marches onto the field to kick the extra point.
Kick it
Kick it: Lined up after the huddle, you are more than ready to make this kick. You know that it will be easy peasy. As you set up, the ball is snapped and your holder grabs it. You run toward the ball, make contact, and watch as it goes and seems to get knocked to the side by some unforeseen force.
“You should have known better than to think you could control me,” you hear the voice say.
You wish you could explain to your teammates and your coach what happened. In fact, the coach is so confused, he throws his red flag asking for a play review from the referees. He doesn’t really care if the play call is overturned or not, he mostly just wants to know what the hell happened. As the referees wait for the review box to come down with their decision, everyone sits with baited breath.
The kick is ruled “no good,” and while the referees do not have an answer for why it looks like it was pulled away at the last second by a string, they decide to swap out the ball, and assure everyone that nothing like that will happen again.
Watch the Game
Plead forgiveness for your insolence
Plead forgiveness for your insolence: You know that you messed up. It is okay to mess up, but you also know that it is important to acknowledge this. You are not quite sure where to look around the field as the disembodied voice seems to speak right into your ear, but you open your hands and speak out to the world. You beg for forgiveness and remind the voice that clearly you were uncertain of its power, and now that you know the true meaning of power, it is time that you bow before its will.
With a laugh, the rest of the world suddenly seems very quiet, and you find yourself waking up. You weren’t in a coma, but the simulation that you were a part of was apparently so lifelike that you were unaware that it had even started. It felt so real, that even after the doctors remind you of what you had agreed to when testing the simulation, you have trouble believing them.
The disembodied voice was apparently the sim testers making changes and following your whims, (or not, as they decided). You cannot help but feel slightly distraught after finding this information.
Were you ever going to become an ISFL player in the first place? Was it ever going to be a possibility?
Watch the game: You decide to just pretend that the last little bit of time did not happen, and you turn your attention to focus on the game. While your team is still winning, missing that extra point was slightly devastating to the team. It may be the difference between a one possession score and a two possession score, (and really, right now, you are just hoping you are not the one possessed).
After the kickoff, you are able to watch your team work and play the game to the best of their ability. For every decent play that the opposing team’s offense seems to have, your defense also ends up with a sack. This will definitely be a game which has multiple stat records being broken, but you are just trying to focus on everyone enjoying their time and having a good game.
Your defense is able to stop the push, and the opposing team comes onto the field to kick a field goal. It was close, but ruled no good after it swung wide. “You are welcome,” you hear the voice say. Do you:
Ignore it
Say thank you
Say thank you: You know better than to piss off a disembodied voice. You are not exactly sure if you are completely and legitimately thankful for it’s interruption and support of your team, but you thank it nevertheless. “You are most welcome, child,” the voice says. So what now, you think.
“I have had my fun, if you are ready to win the game, I can leave your team to it. You will win, you are superior. Or if you would like to mess with them more, just let me know. I am willing to indulge you this once.”
Mess with the other team
Thank you, let us win now please
Thank you, let us win now please: You quietly, but very respectfully thank the disembodied voice for everything that it has done for you. While you are truly appreciative of any advantage that was offered to you, you also know that it does not feel good to win by cheating. Not that there would be any way to prove the cheating, but still, you would know and it does not sit well in your stomach.
Your offense takes to the field and continues to march the ball down the field. After another touchdown and a two point conversion, you find yourself feeling good about the outcome. After the opposing team’s defense fumbles the ball once more, you know that your team has this game in the bag. Without real worry, your entire team watches the clock run down as the game ends. With cheers and fans flooding the stadium, you really wonder if this was something that actually happened, or were you in some kind of fever dream.
“It really happened,” the voice says once more. Then it begs you to start over, maybe this time without the help of supernatural forces.
Mess with the other team: As much as you have been put through this game, you cannot help but ask for some help to mess with the other team one last time. After all, when will you get an opportunity like this again? You watch the game unfold and notice that the opposing teams players have cleats stuck in the ground, shoelaces coming untied, and strange issues with foreign objects flying in front of their helmets.
The clock also seems to be counting down twice as quickly whenever they have taken the field, and at almost a standstill while your offense is pushing the ball down. In what feels like the blink of an eye, but you can still remember every moment of, the game is over. Your team has reigned victorious, and your entire team rushes into the locker room riding the high of winning. As you celebrate, you cannot help but feel a twinge of guilt.
Maybe the next time you won’t try to manipulate the world around you (or do, I don’t care).
Ignore it: Ignoring the disembodied voice seems like the best option all around. After all, if you cannot acknowledge that something is happening, then clearly it will not continue to happen, right? Your offense takes to the field and it seems like the same song and dance as before. As you start to enter field goal territory, you find yourself growing more and more nervous. What if you really did something to make this disembodied voice angry? Would you be able to still win the game?
Trying your best to ignore it, you find that you are being called onto the field to kick a field goal. After the miss from the other team, you are feeling more nervous. The coach wanders up to you and reminds you that it is just a game, and that clearly some funky things have been happening on kicks. He lets you know that he will not blame you for anything that might happen on this field goal. Feeling moderately relieved, you take your position on the field.
Take the kick
Take the kick: As you move to take the kick, you start to feel the earth shake beneath you. It seems odd, as the game isn’t exactly taking place where there are earthquakes frequently. As everyone drops to their knees, you try to steady yourself against the quaking ground.
Before you are able to do much more, however, small fissures start to open within the field. Screams begin to be heard from the stands and you notice your teammates running away from the center of the field. Before you can get yourself to move, however, you notice that the cracks seem to surround you completely. “Did you truly think that you could ignore me? What a fool you are.” the voice says from the void. The piece of land you are on thrusts itself into the air and you are barely able to hang on as you begin to feel cold and lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. The ground is hardly visible and you feel yourself shaking - who did you make angry this time?
“That is not information you need to know. Begone from this world, foul beast, return to the beginning and try to find something better this time.”
Sneak the ball with the quarterback: You feel like a quarterback sneak would be the right play here. Your team does not need to gain a bunch of yards, and instead needs to do just enough to make the first down. It is inches, that is all. Surely, your quarterback can do that. “Yes, he can,” you hear a voice say once more. Just when it looks like your quarterback was getting stuck in the huddle, he seems to be pushed from behind by an invisible force.
It seems as though you are now controlling what happens in this narrative. “Don’t be silly, you are not controlling anything. I still have all of the power, I am just considering your suggestions.”
Feeling a little bit anxious, you watch the next few plays without trying to think of what your team should do.
After waiting 40 seconds, nothing happened on the field. A delay of game penalty is called, and you find yourself staring at the field. Do you really control what is going to happen in the rest of this game?
Tell them to throw a pass play
Run the ball
Run the ball: “Shove it up the middle,” is exactly the phrasing that you used. While it seems like you should maybe be more careful about your wording, you know that you want your team to dominate right now. “As you wish,” the voice seems to say next to you. You smile as you watch your offense do exactly as you asked: push the ball up the middle. Your running back is able to find a great hole, and your offense makes their way down the field. As he is stopped within the ten yard line, you are wondering what your next play call should be.
You think about it for quite awhile, but it seems as though you never get to have the answer. The entire time that you were imagining talking to some higher power, you were actually suffering from a brain eating amoeba. As it began to disintegrate your hold on reality, you started foaming at the mouth. Apparently, the deterioration from losing your grip on the world to total death was not very long. The team retires your number, and you become inducted as a honoree in the hall of fame, even though you never finished a game. You continue to be mentioned in passing, and moments of silence are dedicated to you.
You advance the research of science and medicine as they perform an autopsy on your body, and they end of discovering the cure to the brain eating amoeba that had infected you. While you may have died, your death contributed to the betterment of society.
I guess I would call that a win? Do you want to try another path?
Tell them to throw a pass play: “That does not seem like a great idea against this defense, but it is your call boss.” The team continues to run a pass play, and the ball is immediately intercepted by the defense. So much for doing some good in this game. You start to wonder if you are losing your mind still, were you hearing the voices in your head, or not really?
“Just figured you should lose, since I am not exactly the nice guy here.”
Recognizing that you apparently were dealing with a not so benevolent being, you look at the field and see the game clock being rundown almost instantaneously. Apparently, not only did you piss off the devil, but you also managed to lose the game for your team in the process.
As you enter the locker room feeling defeated, you have to wonder, would this have happened if you had made different life choices? Do you decide to believe in reincarnation?
Who do you think you are? God?: As much as you wanted your defense to be amazing at stopping the opposing team’s offense, you do not control this narrative. The sick person in the sky who has become the god of this world has decided that no, your defense does not get to have nice things. They let the offense score a touchdown, and you have to sit back and watch, contemplating how meaningless and pointless your life has become when everything is outside of your control, even the decisions that you have made.
Try again bro
Veggies: You decide that the best snack will be some veggies, and you begin munching like there is no tomorrow. Unfortunately, the snack that you have grabbed is carrot sticks. You cannot hear a word that the coach says during your stay in the locker room. Neither can anyone else. You wanted to do something else for your team, but clearly you were just a distracted that was unnecessary. The coach asks you to leave, and you decide that means you get to go home.
While that was not the coach’s intention, you are already back home by the time you realize he may have just meant to leave the locker room. Oh well.
There are always other games. Would you like to try again?
Fruit: You decide that the fruit will have the right sugars for you, and you know that you could use the quick energy boost from the sugar. You start snacking on some fruit slices and reminiscing about when the moms at football camp would pre slice and package oranges. You really miss the orange slices, and even though the apple you are eating is delicious, you cannot help but feel some sadness that it is not an orange.
You did not notice until you finished the few flies that were zooming around the fruit platter. As you exit and get back onto the field, you are left wondering - were there any fly babies in your apple? You sure hope not.
Watch the game
Zone out
Zone out: You cannot help but shake the feeling of being off after noticing all of the bugs surrounding the fruit. You feel a little nauseated, but that really is not what seems to be bothering you the most. You want to continue watching, but it just does not seem possible for you. You start to focus on your breathing, and you cannot tell if you are really feeling hotter, or if it is the start of a panic attack happening.
You keep focusing on your breathing, and a bead of sweat starts to drop down your face. Was this the right choice? Did you do something horrible?
Try not to die
Try not to die: You really do not want this to be your demise, ended by fruit on the sidelines of a football game that is not going your way. Your defense is able to make a stoppage during the game, but your offense continues to struggle. You find it difficult still to pay attention, but you know that you have to keep at it before something happens. You still are not sure what that might be, but you feel your insides wanting to move onto your outsides.
As the coach calls you over to kick a punt (seriously, come on offense), you are finding yourself with immense pain in your back. You do not know what it is, but you feel like you need to march onto the field and try kicking the punt. Maybe playing the game will help to take your mind off of the pain - surely it must be all in your head.
Kick the ball
Kick the ball: You get onto the field and are lined up in position. Right before the ball is hiked, you feel the pain stabbing you in the back. You think you hear a ripping sound, but it is hard to tell with the gasp from the crowd. As you see the ball fly toward you from the long snapper, you catch it, but instead of your human hands reaching for the ball, you notice that you now have more appendages.
What is going on? The crowd begins to scream, and your teammates turn to look toward you. The defensive line is standing there, while your offense starts to back away from you. You try to talk, to ask them what has happened, but you find you cannot get the words to come out. As you hold onto the ball - far more difficult, mind you, since you don’t actually have fingers anymore - you start to make your way down the field. Walking is difficult, so you feel yourself begin to use your back muscles for something different - wings, apparently.
You start to see multiple of your teammates, and are wondering if this double vision is really something to do with the panic attack that you were feeling earlier. Maybe you are hallucinating.
As you begin to fly out of the stadium, you start to see broadcasts appearing everywhere - you are not hallucinating. You have been turned into a fly.
Buzz buzz all the way back to the beginning.
Watch the game: You feel the sugar in the fruit starting to work, and you cannot help but feel excited about the fact that your team has this in the second half. Your offense starts running the ball, and you watch as they have positive play after positive play. The offense is gaining yards, and you are cheering them on with every down. They reach field goal range and you feel that this is your moment to take control of the game. If nothing else, you will go up by just a few points. You hope that your offense can do more than that, however, and so you keep watching intently.
Continue watching
Continue watching: Hopeful that your team will score the touchdown, you watch as they inch closer and closer into the red zone. Unfortunately, this is where your team struggles the most and your offense is not able to push through the red zone and score the touchdown. Thankfully, they have you on the team and you march out with your field goal squad. Doin’ your thang as a squad, you line up, have the ball hiked and set, and then you make your sweet sweet kick, leading your team on the road to victory. It lines up, the referees signal that it is good and you get ready to kick off to the opposing team.
That kick feels good too, and you cannot help but feel that the game is going to continue on in your positive direction.
Watch the game
Zone out
Zone out: Your team’s defense seems to be struggling to stop their offense, but honestly you are not really sure. You do not hear much from the crowd in cheers, claps, or boos. It does not seem as if any great plays are being made.
Instead, you start to feel something weird within your stomach. Maybe the fruit was bad. Realizing that at the rate the game is going, you probably will not be needed for a while, you head into the locker room to go to the bathroom.
I will not go into the details, but you are feeling violently ill, and are bound to the bathroom for the rest of the game. The coach does not know where you went, and is furious at you for leaving. While he may have had sympathy if you told him you were feeling sick, he does not have sympathy for you just wandering off. You are cut from the first string, and have now resigned yourself to be the backup kicker for the next several games. Was this the end of your career? You are not sure.
You just hope that your stomach will not be angry enough that you can leave the bathroom before the end of the decade.
I hope you feel better, do you want to try again?
Watch the game: You watch for almost the rest of the third quarter as your defense struggles to stop their offensive line. The other team does not make a lot of yardage with each play, but as we know from the tortoise and the hare story, slow and steady can definitely win the race. Not only are they inching closer to taking the lead, but it also seems as though they are going to run the clock out enough to make it even more difficult for your team to match up with the points.
You continue to watch and feel a sense of dread as the opposing team reaches the red zone. You know that your team struggles to convert here, but you also know that you are struggling to hold their offensive line, too. Not everyone struggles, but your team is apparently worse than theirs in this respect.
Watching, horrified as they score a touchdown, you bite your lip and hope that your offense can do more on this next drive.
Watch the kickoff
Ignore the kick off
Ignore the kickoff: After spiraling out of control, you want nothing more than to ignore the kickoff and the game completely. This kicker has already asserted dominance over you with your team, and you cannot help but feel like a lost puppy that is being kicked while it’s down. You turn your attention elsewhere, and when you hear the groan of the crowd, you know that something unfortunate has happened.
Your team seems to lose quickly and while you would hope the other team would show mercy, and allow their second stringers some additional playtime, that does not appear to be the case. They are out for blood and continue to dominate you. Every time it seems as though you will be able to move down the field, there is an interception, a fumble, or a massive sack. Your quarterback begins to leave the field, feeling paranoid that everyone is out to get you. It seems that not only is this game a total loss, but you may need to find replacement players for the trauma that seems to be surrounding your offensive line.
The game is seriously over. Better luck next time.
Watch the kickoff: You sit back and watch the opposing kicker, his form is alright, but you know that you can do so much better. As his kick falls near the 30 yard line, you find yourself feeling a smug sense of accomplishment. You are the superior kicker, and you know that regardless of what the stats will say, you could kick his butt in a kicking contest.
Your receiver fields the ball with a fair catch - with it being a shorter kick, he did not feel as though he was going to have the room to run. That’s alright, though, because you know that your team only has to march about 70 yards for the lead. Considering you have an entire quarter to do it in, you feel good about your chances. The first few plays begin to make you feel nervous, but you know that your team has this. They start pushing down the field. Apparently this game is going to be made of your defense.
Tragedy strikes, however, when your quarterback throws an interception. How could you not see this coming? Of course it was too good to be true.
Continue watching
Continue watching: You keep your eyes glued to the field. There is nothing more fascinating than the trainwreck that your team is headed on. Already feeling behind, the clock ticking down, and now an interception has your defense feeling on edge. You can see the defeatist attitudes resting with each and every one of them as they line up. It seems as though there is zero coverage, and the opposing offense is able to make some great gains quickly.
The game spirals out of control and into some horrible plays for your team. After scoring another touchdown, your receiver fumbles the kickoff return and they score yet again. You head into the locker room with only a minute left, because you know that they will not need you anymore. If your team wanted to have any chance, they were going to need touchdowns, not kickers.
The game ends and your entire team feels the weight of defeat. Do you even want to play again next week? It does not seem like it will go any better for you.
Better luck next time. Try again?
Listen to the coach: You listen as the coach talks to the team during halftime. You are engaged, you are ready, and you are PUMPED! You know that when your team marches onto the field after half time you are going to kick some serious behind. Getting ready to exit the tunnel, you and your team are hollering like gorillas. You need to kickoff to start the second half do you:
Kick it
Kick it hard
Kick it hard: You want this ball to be as deep as possible - you run at it with everything you have got and kick the ball hard. As the ball is flying through the air, it got a lot more height than you realized. It hits the skycam and drops onto the field. The referees and opposing team are not sure how to react, but you watch as one of your teammates picks up the ball in the confusion - just in case.
The referees need to have a little
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