The Pythons came into Season 26 off the back of a bit of a disappointing season game where they finished 7-7, 3rd in the NFC North and narrowly missed out on a playoff spot, just 1 game behind the Minnesota Grey Ducks. However, there were some positives for the Pythons, they had a strong core of players returning and had drafted well and are now really looking to make a push towards another Ultimini to add to their hefty trophy collection. This piece will follow along with with each of the Pythons games, seeing how they do throughout the season.
Preseason : 3 Wins (26-6 vs LON, 33-9 vs KC, 19-0 vs NOR), 1 Loss (23-20 vs MIN)
The Pythons got off to a great start in preseason getting 3 big wins, including a shutout against the Seawolves, and their only loss was a narrow one against a strong Grey Ducks team, and they will be hoping this form continues on into the regular season, despite everyone knowing that preseason is usually not a sign of things to come, as teams rarely use their best gameplans.
Week 1 vs London Royals, 27-13 Victory (1-0) :
The Pythons opened up the season with a solid win against the reigning NFC North champs, the Royals. Kicker Johnathan Smith opened the scoring for the season with a 25 yarder in the first, but London didn’t take long to reply, courtesy of a 2 yard rush by Terry Yaki. The offense couldn’t he stopped however and early in the second, their new star wideout, Quavious McGrady hauled in a 7 yard touchdown pass from LeBron James III.
In the ensuing drive the defense was looking to get in on the scoring action and following a 7 yard sack from defensive end Demon Jaxson which left London on their own 8 yard line, Ty Tyson got into the backfield and took down quarterback Cortez, giving the Pythons a 12-7 lead plus possession. 10 minutes later kicker Johnathan Smith extended that advantage with a big 51 yarder, closing out the half. An eventful third saw just one score, a 26 yarder by kicker Johnathan Smith to make it 18-7 in Portland’s favour. London rallied back in the fourth with back to back field goals but Portland were too strong, and rookie tight end Shane Benjamin proved that by hauling in a 10 yard touchdown. The game was then closed out by safety Moe Skeeter who got into the backfield himself and sacked the Royals qb, resulting in the defenses second safety of the game.
The game resulted in some impressive stat lines, including that of running back Anders Christiansen who had 22 carries for 108 yards, unlucky to go without a touchdown, as well as defensive end Ty Tyson’s, who had 3 sacks, a forced fumble, a safety and a handful of tackles. This game is a promising start for the Pythons and they will be looking to carry this momentum going forward.
Week 2 @ Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, 17-16 Victory (2-0) :
A second straight win for Portland was much harder fought than the previous win, and the Pythons actually failed to score until there was just 1:17 left in the half courtesy of a massive 99 yard kick return touchdown from Christiansen, making the scoring 13-7 in the Pythons favour. They looked to come out strong in the second half though, and quarterback LeBron James III capped off a 65 yard drive with his legs, taking it into the end-zone from four yards out.
The Pythons then extended their lead to 4 points at the start of the fourth quarter, thanks to the leg of Johnathan Smith, and despite Myrtle Beach getting another field goal with 3 minutes on the clock, the Pythons managed to hold on and secure their second victory of the season. Less impressive performances from the offense were helped out by the special teams thanks to the kick return touchdown and kicker Smith kicking 100% on the day. As well as this the defense had another great day, coming away with 2 interceptions, courtesy of Skeeter and rookie Chiasa.
Week 3 vs Kansas City Coyotes, 23-9 Victory (3-0) :
The Pythons looked to add more misery to Kansas City’s already bad start to the season and managed just that, keeping the Coyotes out of the end-zone throughout the entire game. The first score came on Kansas City’s second play, but not for the team they would have hoped, with safety Moe Skeeter picking off Peterson and taking it 30 yards to the house. Portland ended the first quarter with a 10 yard touchdown pass from James III to McGrady, but missed the extra point to give them a 13 point advantage.
An uneventful second quarter in which the only score was a 28 yard field goal by Coyotes kicker Armando Galarraga meant the score was 13-3 coming out for the second half. A second field goal for Galarraga was met by a 43 yard run into the end-zone by James III 2 minutes later. The Coyotes kicked another field goal to open the scoring in the fourth quarter, which was cancelled out 3 minutes later by Pythons kicker Johnathan Smith, putting one between the uprights from 34 yards out, the last score of the game.
This game was won on the ground, in no small part thanks to a monstrous performance from Anders Christiansen who managed an outrageous 165 yards on 29 carries, unlucky to come away without a touchdown, as well as some stellar performances on the defensive side of the ball, including that of Moe Skeeter who managed to come away with a pick 6 and a sack to boot.
Week 4 @ Minnesota Grey Ducks, 42-14 Victory (4-0) :
The Pythons continued their roaring start to the season with an emphatic win in Minnesota against a strong Grey Ducks side, showing no signs of a struggle throughout the entire game. The Grey Ducks opened the scoring courtesy of a Ryan Negs to Madison Hayes connection, but it was a swiftly met with a LeBron James III to Mario Messi linkup to even the scoreline, and when that same play repeated with a minute left in the first quarter, the Pythons took the lead for the first and only time in the game.
Two 3 yard rushing touchdowns in the second quarter from Christiansen meant that the score was 28-7, and once again in the third quarter the defense looked to get in on the scoring action, with the score coming from Elijah Torres, who returned an interception 47 yards to the house. A great day of scoring for Portland was capped off with a third touchdown pass for LeBron James III giving them a 42-7 lead, and the Grey Ducks finally got a second score in garbage time, when Massimo Rocco punched one in on the goal line.
The Pythons offense showed their true worth in this game, coming up with some amazing stat lines, such as LJ3s 274 yards passing and 3 TDs, or Mario Messi’s 94 yards receiving with 2 touchdowns, or even another insane showing from Christiansen, 2 TDs and just shy of 150 yards rushing. There were no particularly impressive stat lines from the defense, but they did an insane job of stopping the Grey Ducks offense, forcing them into 10 punts, as well as the touchdown managed by Elijah Torres.
Week 5 vs Norfolk Seawolves, 21-13 Victory (5-0)
Another week for Portland, another win for Portland, I’m beginning to see a bit of a trend with how this season is going for the Pythons, picking up another win against the Seawolves despite the game being a bit nervy at times. The Pythons opened up with a 28 yard touchdown pass from James to Messi, and their new rookie kicker Cade York came out and converted the extra point. This was met two minutes later by a Norfolk field goal, the final score of the quarter.
The Seawolves opened up the second quarter with a 28 yard rushing touchdown courtesy of rookie back Ace Savage, and finished out the half with a 23 yard field goal, to give themselves a 6 point lead going into the locker rooms. The Pythons came out for the second half firing on all cylinders however, and Christiansen wasted no time adding to his touchdown tally, and a conversion meant they were once again in the lead. The final score of the game was a second Messi receiving touchdown at the beginning of the fourth quarter, resulting in a fifth win on the bounce for Portland.
Two excellent performances from two excellent wide receivers allowed the Pythons to win this relatively close one, with Quavious McGrady catching 7 passes for 113 yards and Mario Messi hauling in 2 touchdowns and 92 yards, on 6 catches. On defense it was a solid showing from Ty Tyson, who managed 11 tackles, 1 for a loss, as well as forcing and recovering a fumble. Is there anyone that can stop this Pythons team?
Week 6 vs Tijuana Luchadores, 27-14 Victory (6-0)
A sixth consecutive win for a rampant Pythons team, now just a singular victory away from tying their previous seasons win total, surely they are going to make the playoffs. They opened this game kicking to the Luchadores return man Preston Parker, who managed to return it 99 yards downfield to open the scoring after just sixteen seconds. Eight minutes later Quavious McGrady levelled is the scores, catching a 2 yard pass in the endzone.
It only took the Luchadores two and a half minutes of the second quarter to record another touchdown, a 3 yard run from rookie rusher Boo Tee, but this was to be Tijuanas last score on the day. Six minutes later the Pythons rookie rusher Gio Bianchi punched one in from 3 yards out and the Pythons took the advantage right before half time, thanks to a 39 yard field goal from Cade York. Another field goal from York in the third gave the Pythons a six point lead, and when Anders Christiansen caught a 23 yard pass from LeBron James III in the end-zone, the game was all but over for Tijuana. This one was rather uneventful when it comes to stat lines, with everyone on the team playing well, but no one outstandingly well.
Week 7 @ Dallas Birddogs, 13-10 Victory (7-0)
Probably their closest game so far this season, but the Pythons pulled through, and managed to beat every team in the league in the first half of the season. Scoring in this game was opened by that man Anders Christiansen with a 96 yard kick return touchdown from the opening kickoff, his second krtd of the year. It was levelled up with 3 minutes to go by Birddogs running back Sirdsvaldis Miglaskems from 9 yards out. The Birddogs then took the lead in the second quarter with a 34 yard field goal from Vernal Bloodshine, but back to back field goals from Cade York gave the Pythons the lead at half time.
What ensued was possibly the most boring half of simulation dot football ever to be witnessed, a scoreless second half to give the Pythons their seventh win of the season, and to technically give Cade York his first ever game winning walk off field goal, only he was walking off for half time. Due to this I don’t even want to look at the box scores and will just congratulate York on his heroics, because none of the other stat lines must have been that good, from either side.
So this is where I end this media piece, for now. It’s been sitting in my drafts for quite a while and I wanted to finish it come the end of the season, but I’m not one to waste an opportunity, and 2x media bonus does not come around often. Thanks to anyone who has read this far, it was probably pretty boring. Will the Pythons end the season 14-0, who knows? I don’t, but maybe I’ll write about it, depends if I lose this money gambling.
tl;dr : My teammates and management rock.
2,034 words, 2x media
Preseason : 3 Wins (26-6 vs LON, 33-9 vs KC, 19-0 vs NOR), 1 Loss (23-20 vs MIN)
The Pythons got off to a great start in preseason getting 3 big wins, including a shutout against the Seawolves, and their only loss was a narrow one against a strong Grey Ducks team, and they will be hoping this form continues on into the regular season, despite everyone knowing that preseason is usually not a sign of things to come, as teams rarely use their best gameplans.
Week 1 vs London Royals, 27-13 Victory (1-0) :
The Pythons opened up the season with a solid win against the reigning NFC North champs, the Royals. Kicker Johnathan Smith opened the scoring for the season with a 25 yarder in the first, but London didn’t take long to reply, courtesy of a 2 yard rush by Terry Yaki. The offense couldn’t he stopped however and early in the second, their new star wideout, Quavious McGrady hauled in a 7 yard touchdown pass from LeBron James III.
In the ensuing drive the defense was looking to get in on the scoring action and following a 7 yard sack from defensive end Demon Jaxson which left London on their own 8 yard line, Ty Tyson got into the backfield and took down quarterback Cortez, giving the Pythons a 12-7 lead plus possession. 10 minutes later kicker Johnathan Smith extended that advantage with a big 51 yarder, closing out the half. An eventful third saw just one score, a 26 yarder by kicker Johnathan Smith to make it 18-7 in Portland’s favour. London rallied back in the fourth with back to back field goals but Portland were too strong, and rookie tight end Shane Benjamin proved that by hauling in a 10 yard touchdown. The game was then closed out by safety Moe Skeeter who got into the backfield himself and sacked the Royals qb, resulting in the defenses second safety of the game.
The game resulted in some impressive stat lines, including that of running back Anders Christiansen who had 22 carries for 108 yards, unlucky to go without a touchdown, as well as defensive end Ty Tyson’s, who had 3 sacks, a forced fumble, a safety and a handful of tackles. This game is a promising start for the Pythons and they will be looking to carry this momentum going forward.
Week 2 @ Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, 17-16 Victory (2-0) :
A second straight win for Portland was much harder fought than the previous win, and the Pythons actually failed to score until there was just 1:17 left in the half courtesy of a massive 99 yard kick return touchdown from Christiansen, making the scoring 13-7 in the Pythons favour. They looked to come out strong in the second half though, and quarterback LeBron James III capped off a 65 yard drive with his legs, taking it into the end-zone from four yards out.
The Pythons then extended their lead to 4 points at the start of the fourth quarter, thanks to the leg of Johnathan Smith, and despite Myrtle Beach getting another field goal with 3 minutes on the clock, the Pythons managed to hold on and secure their second victory of the season. Less impressive performances from the offense were helped out by the special teams thanks to the kick return touchdown and kicker Smith kicking 100% on the day. As well as this the defense had another great day, coming away with 2 interceptions, courtesy of Skeeter and rookie Chiasa.
Week 3 vs Kansas City Coyotes, 23-9 Victory (3-0) :
The Pythons looked to add more misery to Kansas City’s already bad start to the season and managed just that, keeping the Coyotes out of the end-zone throughout the entire game. The first score came on Kansas City’s second play, but not for the team they would have hoped, with safety Moe Skeeter picking off Peterson and taking it 30 yards to the house. Portland ended the first quarter with a 10 yard touchdown pass from James III to McGrady, but missed the extra point to give them a 13 point advantage.
An uneventful second quarter in which the only score was a 28 yard field goal by Coyotes kicker Armando Galarraga meant the score was 13-3 coming out for the second half. A second field goal for Galarraga was met by a 43 yard run into the end-zone by James III 2 minutes later. The Coyotes kicked another field goal to open the scoring in the fourth quarter, which was cancelled out 3 minutes later by Pythons kicker Johnathan Smith, putting one between the uprights from 34 yards out, the last score of the game.
This game was won on the ground, in no small part thanks to a monstrous performance from Anders Christiansen who managed an outrageous 165 yards on 29 carries, unlucky to come away without a touchdown, as well as some stellar performances on the defensive side of the ball, including that of Moe Skeeter who managed to come away with a pick 6 and a sack to boot.
Week 4 @ Minnesota Grey Ducks, 42-14 Victory (4-0) :
The Pythons continued their roaring start to the season with an emphatic win in Minnesota against a strong Grey Ducks side, showing no signs of a struggle throughout the entire game. The Grey Ducks opened the scoring courtesy of a Ryan Negs to Madison Hayes connection, but it was a swiftly met with a LeBron James III to Mario Messi linkup to even the scoreline, and when that same play repeated with a minute left in the first quarter, the Pythons took the lead for the first and only time in the game.
Two 3 yard rushing touchdowns in the second quarter from Christiansen meant that the score was 28-7, and once again in the third quarter the defense looked to get in on the scoring action, with the score coming from Elijah Torres, who returned an interception 47 yards to the house. A great day of scoring for Portland was capped off with a third touchdown pass for LeBron James III giving them a 42-7 lead, and the Grey Ducks finally got a second score in garbage time, when Massimo Rocco punched one in on the goal line.
The Pythons offense showed their true worth in this game, coming up with some amazing stat lines, such as LJ3s 274 yards passing and 3 TDs, or Mario Messi’s 94 yards receiving with 2 touchdowns, or even another insane showing from Christiansen, 2 TDs and just shy of 150 yards rushing. There were no particularly impressive stat lines from the defense, but they did an insane job of stopping the Grey Ducks offense, forcing them into 10 punts, as well as the touchdown managed by Elijah Torres.
Week 5 vs Norfolk Seawolves, 21-13 Victory (5-0)
Another week for Portland, another win for Portland, I’m beginning to see a bit of a trend with how this season is going for the Pythons, picking up another win against the Seawolves despite the game being a bit nervy at times. The Pythons opened up with a 28 yard touchdown pass from James to Messi, and their new rookie kicker Cade York came out and converted the extra point. This was met two minutes later by a Norfolk field goal, the final score of the quarter.
The Seawolves opened up the second quarter with a 28 yard rushing touchdown courtesy of rookie back Ace Savage, and finished out the half with a 23 yard field goal, to give themselves a 6 point lead going into the locker rooms. The Pythons came out for the second half firing on all cylinders however, and Christiansen wasted no time adding to his touchdown tally, and a conversion meant they were once again in the lead. The final score of the game was a second Messi receiving touchdown at the beginning of the fourth quarter, resulting in a fifth win on the bounce for Portland.
Two excellent performances from two excellent wide receivers allowed the Pythons to win this relatively close one, with Quavious McGrady catching 7 passes for 113 yards and Mario Messi hauling in 2 touchdowns and 92 yards, on 6 catches. On defense it was a solid showing from Ty Tyson, who managed 11 tackles, 1 for a loss, as well as forcing and recovering a fumble. Is there anyone that can stop this Pythons team?
Week 6 vs Tijuana Luchadores, 27-14 Victory (6-0)
A sixth consecutive win for a rampant Pythons team, now just a singular victory away from tying their previous seasons win total, surely they are going to make the playoffs. They opened this game kicking to the Luchadores return man Preston Parker, who managed to return it 99 yards downfield to open the scoring after just sixteen seconds. Eight minutes later Quavious McGrady levelled is the scores, catching a 2 yard pass in the endzone.
It only took the Luchadores two and a half minutes of the second quarter to record another touchdown, a 3 yard run from rookie rusher Boo Tee, but this was to be Tijuanas last score on the day. Six minutes later the Pythons rookie rusher Gio Bianchi punched one in from 3 yards out and the Pythons took the advantage right before half time, thanks to a 39 yard field goal from Cade York. Another field goal from York in the third gave the Pythons a six point lead, and when Anders Christiansen caught a 23 yard pass from LeBron James III in the end-zone, the game was all but over for Tijuana. This one was rather uneventful when it comes to stat lines, with everyone on the team playing well, but no one outstandingly well.
Week 7 @ Dallas Birddogs, 13-10 Victory (7-0)
Probably their closest game so far this season, but the Pythons pulled through, and managed to beat every team in the league in the first half of the season. Scoring in this game was opened by that man Anders Christiansen with a 96 yard kick return touchdown from the opening kickoff, his second krtd of the year. It was levelled up with 3 minutes to go by Birddogs running back Sirdsvaldis Miglaskems from 9 yards out. The Birddogs then took the lead in the second quarter with a 34 yard field goal from Vernal Bloodshine, but back to back field goals from Cade York gave the Pythons the lead at half time.
What ensued was possibly the most boring half of simulation dot football ever to be witnessed, a scoreless second half to give the Pythons their seventh win of the season, and to technically give Cade York his first ever game winning walk off field goal, only he was walking off for half time. Due to this I don’t even want to look at the box scores and will just congratulate York on his heroics, because none of the other stat lines must have been that good, from either side.
So this is where I end this media piece, for now. It’s been sitting in my drafts for quite a while and I wanted to finish it come the end of the season, but I’m not one to waste an opportunity, and 2x media bonus does not come around often. Thanks to anyone who has read this far, it was probably pretty boring. Will the Pythons end the season 14-0, who knows? I don’t, but maybe I’ll write about it, depends if I lose this money gambling.
tl;dr : My teammates and management rock.
2,034 words, 2x media
[img=0x0]https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/t52dU9eBJgwsyw3nTevSVxQLhH2o2kjrFAMEacLX6tY/https/i.imgur.com/zpHk3Xu.mp4[/img]
S27 Ultimus DPOTG
S27 Ultimus DPOTG
