*My Rankings of the Franchises!

deadlunatic · (This post was last modified: 03-20-2021, 05:01 AM by Asked Madden.)

Here it is, the much (not at all) anticipated Rankings of the franchises. Don't worry it isn't actually based on anything tangible other than my fragile fragile feelings.

So if this offends you, well then you must be even more delicate than me. So you most likely deserve whatever feelings you take away from this mess of a rankings.

So, I will rank each franchise from one to fourteen. And then I will give them a Super Hero / Villain compare.

Ranking in at Number One overall : Yellowknife Wraiths (pay no attention to the signature or affiliation of my player)
Since I have joined the league, the Wraiths have been a contender pretty much every year. Including a dominant path to the Finals a season ago and coming away with a beatdown win. This season they were super close to making the playoffs and in my opinion should have made it, but it is what it is. With great history and great leadership hard to argue with them being at or (if you disagree) near the top as far as teams go. They create a hell of a culture in the Locker Room, and players who play here want to play here. So in my mind, that makes it a great place overall, and in general we do possess that winning mindset.
Super Hero : Doctor Strange - the hero we all needed to save the universe. Without him, there was no plan.

Number Two in this weird Ranking : San Jose Sabercats
I put them here based on my bias to the short amount of time I have actually been in the league. But they have one some big games, even if they didn't have the best record either time. Doesn't matter what record you finish the season with if you end up winning it all. Just ask the Giants that one year they beat up on Tom Brady in the super bowl after barely making the playoffs. But they seem to figure stuff out year after year and surprise somebody each time. I can't speak on the culture of their locker room. But I would guess you don't win multiple titles completely by accident. So there must be some level of leadership that is carrying over in the LR. Seems like a solid place to play if you can't be a part of the Wraiths.
Super Hero : Spider Man - He is powerful, but not as powerful as anyone around him in the Avengers(Let's be real) but he manages to get stuff done when needed. So, he might limp into the playoffs with a 9-7 record and come out the winner of it all.

Number Three Fake super hero rated team : Colorado Yeti
They seem to always be in the top half of their division, if not straight up at the top. But they haven't really won anything since I have been in the league. But, man did they come close two seasons in a row. Seems like a solid team, good leadership, I know they got some good guys in their locker room(based on my knowledge of them from the Tijuana locker room). I can't cheer for them as we are division rivals and all that, but in an alternate universe, maybe, definitely maybe I could be happy if they won something not at my expense. But, that being said, historically, a really good team, and as we all know, sometimes the sim just sims. You can do everything right all the time and the sim just says, nah, not today my friend / Yetis.
Super Hero : Thanos - Kept doing the right things, number one seed multiple times, couldn't win. Freaking spider man coming out of no where for the c ck block. But, definitely a power to be wary around, just needs a little more luck on their side, who knows, maybe the new sim will do it.

Number Four crazy out of nowhere Ranked Team : Sarasota Sailfish
A team sitting on top of the world right now, after finally winning it all after four straight seasons of being near the top in a very tough division. They had a better record or tied with than the other divisions best team three out of four seasons in a row. And only one of those were they actually the one seed. But they managed to finally pull of the coveted win and they will eventually replace our glorious banner with theirs ( if you ask me and I know you didn't, their banner just can't compete with the current one). But, again, obviously they are doing something right to be at or near the top for four straight seasons, I can't speak of their locker room at all, but they can't be all bad, even if they are stinky fish.
Super Hero - Scarlet Witch - Got that power, just got to figure out how to use it at the right time. Eventually it seems to have worked out for them.

Number Five of the Dummy Comparo : Chicago Butchers
Another team constantly at the top of their division vying for that coveted Ultimus trophy. It just hasn't quite worked out for them during my time here. But they are a team with weapons and talent. Never fun to realize we got to play them multiple times a season. We know it isn't ever going to be easy. Can't comment on their locker room either, but again, I feel if you manage to have winning seasons and be in the playoff hunt every season, you have to be doing something right. But, again, they got to step their game up if they want to remain in my top five going forwards, afterall, it is a coveted spot to be ranked this high on such a prestigious list.
Super Hero - The Hulk - I mean, let's be real, nobody wants to fight the hulk. He is big and scary and hits really hard, so yea, I'll just magic myself away and let the Hulk fight Scarlet Witch instead.

Number Six Huge Super hero ranked Team : Arizona Outlaws
A team from the other side. It's easier to rank teams I see all the time. But this is another team I feel is always good, but not always lucky. They string together a great record and yet just couldn't quite put it all together to make that last step. If I remember correctly, they were stacked with weapons my year or two in the league, just an absolute nightmare to try and stop. But somehow when it counted, somebody else stopped them cold. Sometimes the weapons you are showing off just aren't enough to get the job done. Once again, I have no real comment on their locker room other than to say, they must also be something correct to get this high on my esteemed list.
Super Hero - War Machine - Well, they got weapons just all over the place, and yet somehow they always get upstaged by someone else, shinier, and sometimes a different color of the same thing....

Number Seven Super Hero Team : New Orleans Second Line
While they haven't been good the entire time I have been in this league, they have made good strides towards turning that around. They have back to back trips to the big house. They did come up short both times, but they made it there when twelve other teams didn't. So, got to give them credit for righting that ship and finding a way to get it done. I am pretty positive they have a good locker room, based off the couple users I know who are in there. If they act the way they do in the Luchadores locker room, then yea, it has to be a good place. If they keep going on the path they are currently on, they should have a good shot to compete for more in the next few seasons, and they might even move up a spot or two on my vaunted list.
Super Hero - Thor - But the Thor from the movie where he got really fat and had to get back in shape so he wasn't a lame super hero. I feel like that was the Second Line when I first joined the league, then they got their butts back in the gym and in shape and can now throw down with the big boys, even if the lose, at least they put up an actual fight.

Number Eight of the list, now officially in the bottom half, : Honolulu Hahalua
Another team that seems to do mostly well, but just not well enough to actually win anything big. They had a really good regular season this last one, but they just could not get it done when it mattered the most. They were also pretty bad a couple of seasons of my time here. They mostly got this spot because of their record last season, they were the top seed for their division, have to give them credit for that. As for their locker room, I know nothing about them. As they never invited me, I must now assume they are elitist and snobby. But without good reason as they even won a championship in my time in the league, if we are being honest, and of course we are, they are bit pretentious with that attitude.
Super Hero - Loki - They got some skills, but, they really just get beat up in the end by the gooder guys. Not their fault after all, they live on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, can't really expect them to be good at football as super heros in such a small place.

Number Nine : Orange County Otters
Super Hero - Star Lord - Interesting to see around, but not really that powerful in comparison to the others mentioned before.

Number Ten : New York Silverbacks
Super Hero - Captain America - Cool name I guess, but not super awesome yet, as they are new and growing, but had some good seasons already considering.

Number Eleven : Austin Copperheads
Super Hero - Ant Man - I think they need to work on which one of their two abilities they use. I am not sure shrinking and getting small is very helpful in most football games, need to tune their powers a bit.

Number Twelve : Philadelphia Liberty
Super Hero - Hawkeye - Pretty cool in some ways, but also not great at the moment. Maybe they can get a reboot and come out of it with a new uniform and some new powers.

Number Thirteen : Berlin Fire Salamanders
Super Hero - The Human Torch - Fire. Plus fire equals fire. Fitting as they aren't really relevant to the Avengers theme I had going. New team, hasn't done much yet, hard to judge.

Number Fourteen : Tijuana Luchadores
Super Hero - Eddie Guerrero - Let's be honest here, the Luchadores as they currently sit are a better team than Baltimore.

Number Fifteen : Baltimore Hawks
Super Hero - Falcon - Talk about a boring super hero who does almost nothing useful in his entire existence.