Hey wow it's mock season! I'm terrible at mock drafts, and really prognosticating in general. But, like, I don't have to update this Saturday so I have extra time on my hands. So let's do.
1st overall:
The Baltimore Hawks select: WR Jason Waterfalls (JayWhy75)
Whoa! Shocker! Everybody seems to be thinking they go with Woody the toy cowboy played by Tom Hanks here. Seems like a smart move. But have you seen that article that JayWhy75 posted like 1 hour ago?! Shit's fantastic! Writing the best mock draft media in your own draft is a guaranteed 1oa pick. Doesn't matter what else happens. Does BAL even need a WR? No, looks like they have a trio of young dudes, led by BigRed's Luke Quick. So hell let's say Waterfalls switches to OL. Hawks actually have zero human O-Lineman so yeah that sounds good to me.
2nd overall:
The Honolulu Hahahlua select:.....A TRADE! & 
swap 1st round picks and HON gets COL's 2nd round pick this draft & their 1st round pick next season
That's right I'm ripping off Gragg's/Laser's mock draft which included some trades and I'm gonna mock a swaparoo here. I mean Honolulu might have gotten the bad end of this trade, but they figure they can find value later on in what appears to be a deceptively deep draft. Also another 1st next season could be vital since I think S31 is gonna be a /r/nfl class? Maybe? I dunno.
2nd overall:
The Colorado Yeti select: CB Jason Garciaparra (Starboy)
You must be thinking "Ah the Yeti are trading up to nab TH since the Hawks passed on him for some odd reason" No. They want Starboy. Why? Look at that bank. He's the richest player out there. Plus the Yeti just want to horde secondary players. I guess?
3rd overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: LB Sheriff Woody (TomHanks)
Literally 7 seconds after Sylphreni makes their pick in GM chat, Bayley furiously types out SHERIFFW OODDEY into the draft channel. He can't believe that TH has fallen to Chicago's lap at 3oa. Plus they get another pick after this one, so they can take their time and debate who they should pick after this.
4th overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: WR Cliff Burton (Thelastheraclid)
I had to keep double checking the spelling of that username to make sure I got it right. I always read it as The Last The Rancid. What's a Heraclid? Google tells me it's someone who is a descendent of Hercules. Wowza, no wonder Chicago drafted their player here. Plus the Butcher War Room are huge Metallica fans, particularly the instrumental track "Orion" that features a nice Cliff Burton bass solo bridge section halfway through. Sick. Chicago looks like they need Wide Receiver help, so even though Cliff is a little further down the list in TPE in a really deep WR class, he stands out amongst the rest with his Greek God pedigree and sweet metal bass licks.
5th overall:
The Austin Copperheads select: QB Dustin Parmelee (Dp-420)
Austin gets their QB of the future here at 5oa. Yes they have Jackie Daytona who is still one more season from regression, and they might even have another QB in the DSFL? I have no idea. I really wish it were a bit easier on the tpe tracker or somewhere to see which teams own the rights to which player that's sent down. Anyway Austin prefers Parmelee over Stanzi because of archetypes, choosing Field General over Pocket Passer. Also Dp-420 has been very active on the forums and posting articles and whatnot. A promising young lad.
6th overall:
The San Jose Sabercats select: S Miles Weperom (MMFLEX)
SJS is stunned that their #1 on their board is sitting there at 6oa and grab him immediately without hesitation. Safety looks like a position of need for the kitties, and MMFLEX currently is the top earner of the class. Like Dp-420, MMFLEX has been creating media at a good pace early on. It also looks like he made an article like a week ago about the Yeti scouting him. So, like, he's probably pissed Colorado traded up to 2oa, only to grab a different secondary player instead.
7th overall:
The Orange County Otters select: CB The Laz (C9Van)
OCO go with an established user in C9Van here to shore up their secondary. Are they sad Weperom was picked one pick before? Yes. However C9Van has agreed to switch over to Safety, where I think they might need the help slightly more than CB.
8th overall:
The Yellowknife Wraiths select: OL Bernie Sanders (caltroit_red_flames)
Offensive Linemen are becoming more and more of a commodity and Yellowknife snags a league vet who will probably earn like 1300 easy. Also I just really love the image of a Bernie Sanders render given the cloak and sickle. Like that would make a fantastic sig. Please make this happen.
9th overall:
The New Orleans Second Line select:...A TRADE! trades their 2nd round pick & their 1st next season for this pick
Yeah why not let's mock another trade here. And since I'm biting that Laser/Gragg mock draft a bit, let's also mock an Austin/NOLA trade. But instead NOLA trades down, not up. I swear to god if I get either of these trades right, I'm just gonna assume War Rooms just read mock drafts to make decisions. NOLA sees so many incredible options still available they figure they should trade down a bit and get some value.
9th overall:
The Austin Copperheads select: WR Andy Fantuz (Lowlycrib)
Another league vet in the 1st round. I mean half this class are recreates. Lowlycrib wowed them in their scouting interview I think. Actually looking over their roster, Austin definitely will be drafting a WR or two in this draft, so I can see this happening.
10th overall:
The Honolulu Hahalua select: RB Kiara Tenoh (TakaMori152)
I almost forgot I mocked a trade earlier that gave HON this pick. The Pacific Boys can't resist a good anime player/render, and Taka seems like a really good user. Honolulu needs someone to spell Cobra Kai anyway.
11th overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: DT Konstantin Selich (Tomen)
Jesus Chicago has so much draft capital! And how can they resist drafting a top earning DT? Everyone has Selich mocked in like the top half of the 1st round for good reason. So maybe CHI ends up drafting them at 3oa or 4oa? I dunno man.
12th overall:
The Sarasota Sailfish select: WR Mason Malone (KenitohMenara)
Hey it's S29 Ultimini Champion Mason Malone! Somehow there isn't a Grey Duck drafted until this late. Kenitoh is an awesome user, and even though his last create was a bit of a bust, the Sailfish get a steal here at 12oa. And guess what? He position swaps to Linebacker, a position they need slightly more than WR. Hey Malone has already switched from QB to WR, why not?
13th overall:
The Berlin Fire Salamanders select: TE Dee Walt (TheCC)
Wait wtf? Isn't TheCC supposed to be drafted in the 2nd to Chicago, where they GM? No what we see here is the first ever GM trade in ISFL history. Berlin decides they want Dee Walt over Dewalt27 the user after having TheCC in their LR for half a season. So Berlin and Chicago trade GMs. Unprecedented shit.
14th overall:
The New York Silverbacks select: WR Squidward Tentacles (terriblehippo)
NYS can't resist picking a wideout with suction cups to catch the ball. Uh that's all I got. Silverbacks war room loves Spongebob too.
__________________________________________
Wow that was kind of exhausting. How do some of you manage to write these things every season? Anyway I had a lot of fun. Maybe I'll do round 2 if I have the energy.
1st overall:
The Baltimore Hawks select: WR Jason Waterfalls (JayWhy75)
Whoa! Shocker! Everybody seems to be thinking they go with Woody the toy cowboy played by Tom Hanks here. Seems like a smart move. But have you seen that article that JayWhy75 posted like 1 hour ago?! Shit's fantastic! Writing the best mock draft media in your own draft is a guaranteed 1oa pick. Doesn't matter what else happens. Does BAL even need a WR? No, looks like they have a trio of young dudes, led by BigRed's Luke Quick. So hell let's say Waterfalls switches to OL. Hawks actually have zero human O-Lineman so yeah that sounds good to me.
2nd overall:
The Honolulu Hahahlua select:.....A TRADE!
& swap 1st round picks and HON gets COL's 2nd round pick this draft & their 1st round pick next seasonThat's right I'm ripping off Gragg's/Laser's mock draft which included some trades and I'm gonna mock a swaparoo here. I mean Honolulu might have gotten the bad end of this trade, but they figure they can find value later on in what appears to be a deceptively deep draft. Also another 1st next season could be vital since I think S31 is gonna be a /r/nfl class? Maybe? I dunno.
2nd overall:
The Colorado Yeti select: CB Jason Garciaparra (Starboy)
You must be thinking "Ah the Yeti are trading up to nab TH since the Hawks passed on him for some odd reason" No. They want Starboy. Why? Look at that bank. He's the richest player out there. Plus the Yeti just want to horde secondary players. I guess?
3rd overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: LB Sheriff Woody (TomHanks)
Literally 7 seconds after Sylphreni makes their pick in GM chat, Bayley furiously types out SHERIFFW OODDEY into the draft channel. He can't believe that TH has fallen to Chicago's lap at 3oa. Plus they get another pick after this one, so they can take their time and debate who they should pick after this.
4th overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: WR Cliff Burton (Thelastheraclid)
I had to keep double checking the spelling of that username to make sure I got it right. I always read it as The Last The Rancid. What's a Heraclid? Google tells me it's someone who is a descendent of Hercules. Wowza, no wonder Chicago drafted their player here. Plus the Butcher War Room are huge Metallica fans, particularly the instrumental track "Orion" that features a nice Cliff Burton bass solo bridge section halfway through. Sick. Chicago looks like they need Wide Receiver help, so even though Cliff is a little further down the list in TPE in a really deep WR class, he stands out amongst the rest with his Greek God pedigree and sweet metal bass licks.
5th overall:
The Austin Copperheads select: QB Dustin Parmelee (Dp-420)
Austin gets their QB of the future here at 5oa. Yes they have Jackie Daytona who is still one more season from regression, and they might even have another QB in the DSFL? I have no idea. I really wish it were a bit easier on the tpe tracker or somewhere to see which teams own the rights to which player that's sent down. Anyway Austin prefers Parmelee over Stanzi because of archetypes, choosing Field General over Pocket Passer. Also Dp-420 has been very active on the forums and posting articles and whatnot. A promising young lad.
6th overall:
The San Jose Sabercats select: S Miles Weperom (MMFLEX)
SJS is stunned that their #1 on their board is sitting there at 6oa and grab him immediately without hesitation. Safety looks like a position of need for the kitties, and MMFLEX currently is the top earner of the class. Like Dp-420, MMFLEX has been creating media at a good pace early on. It also looks like he made an article like a week ago about the Yeti scouting him. So, like, he's probably pissed Colorado traded up to 2oa, only to grab a different secondary player instead.
7th overall:
The Orange County Otters select: CB The Laz (C9Van)
OCO go with an established user in C9Van here to shore up their secondary. Are they sad Weperom was picked one pick before? Yes. However C9Van has agreed to switch over to Safety, where I think they might need the help slightly more than CB.
8th overall:
The Yellowknife Wraiths select: OL Bernie Sanders (caltroit_red_flames)
Offensive Linemen are becoming more and more of a commodity and Yellowknife snags a league vet who will probably earn like 1300 easy. Also I just really love the image of a Bernie Sanders render given the cloak and sickle. Like that would make a fantastic sig. Please make this happen.
9th overall:
The New Orleans Second Line select:...A TRADE!
trades their 2nd round pick & their 1st next season for this pickYeah why not let's mock another trade here. And since I'm biting that Laser/Gragg mock draft a bit, let's also mock an Austin/NOLA trade. But instead NOLA trades down, not up. I swear to god if I get either of these trades right, I'm just gonna assume War Rooms just read mock drafts to make decisions. NOLA sees so many incredible options still available they figure they should trade down a bit and get some value.
9th overall:
The Austin Copperheads select: WR Andy Fantuz (Lowlycrib)
Another league vet in the 1st round. I mean half this class are recreates. Lowlycrib wowed them in their scouting interview I think. Actually looking over their roster, Austin definitely will be drafting a WR or two in this draft, so I can see this happening.
10th overall:
The Honolulu Hahalua select: RB Kiara Tenoh (TakaMori152)
I almost forgot I mocked a trade earlier that gave HON this pick. The Pacific Boys can't resist a good anime player/render, and Taka seems like a really good user. Honolulu needs someone to spell Cobra Kai anyway.
11th overall:
The Chicago Butchers select: DT Konstantin Selich (Tomen)
Jesus Chicago has so much draft capital! And how can they resist drafting a top earning DT? Everyone has Selich mocked in like the top half of the 1st round for good reason. So maybe CHI ends up drafting them at 3oa or 4oa? I dunno man.
12th overall:
The Sarasota Sailfish select: WR Mason Malone (KenitohMenara)
Hey it's S29 Ultimini Champion Mason Malone! Somehow there isn't a Grey Duck drafted until this late. Kenitoh is an awesome user, and even though his last create was a bit of a bust, the Sailfish get a steal here at 12oa. And guess what? He position swaps to Linebacker, a position they need slightly more than WR. Hey Malone has already switched from QB to WR, why not?
13th overall:
The Berlin Fire Salamanders select: TE Dee Walt (TheCC)
Wait wtf? Isn't TheCC supposed to be drafted in the 2nd to Chicago, where they GM? No what we see here is the first ever GM trade in ISFL history. Berlin decides they want Dee Walt over Dewalt27 the user after having TheCC in their LR for half a season. So Berlin and Chicago trade GMs. Unprecedented shit.
14th overall:
The New York Silverbacks select: WR Squidward Tentacles (terriblehippo)
NYS can't resist picking a wideout with suction cups to catch the ball. Uh that's all I got. Silverbacks war room loves Spongebob too.
__________________________________________
Wow that was kind of exhausting. How do some of you manage to write these things every season? Anyway I had a lot of fun. Maybe I'll do round 2 if I have the energy.
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