*Reflection

ItsJustBarry · 10-09-2018, 04:47 PM

This past week has given me a lot of time to think and not just about recent transgressions either. With just celebrating my 13 month in the NSFL, and SIM leagues in general, I have been looking back at his time. It started with the Otters waiving me back in S2 where I played 12 games for them before being multi-screwed in the playoffs. I was drafted 10th overall in the S3 draft after Hendrix made a trade to move up and grab me. While, 10th overall in a fairly deep draft class is respectable, I think I was 2nd in TPE only behind Daybe’s first player so I was somewhat agitated. This was back during real life O-line players who were just worth gold to every team. What many people don’t know is that I hated the idea of being drafted by Baltimore. I sat on my couch during draft night cussing at my computer for probably the rest of the 2nd round while my wife stared at me in confusion. I finally calmed down to reasonable and joined Kolbe and Co. on the draft stream where I had to convince even myself I was excited to be a Hawk.

Fast forward a season, the idea of free agency excites me a little more with each passing week. At this point, I’m still what many would consider a “top earner”. Hendrix recognized this and I think this was his sole purposes for naming me his Co-GM. Looking back at our roster, there were many capable players including the 2 that currently running the franchise, and quite well according to last week’s Ultimus conclusion. Feeling that I was needed, I reluctantly accepted the position which sealed my fate as a long-term Hawk and killed my chances to tease free agency.

Co-GM really sucked. Despite owning the Sim, I didn’t have the time to do adequate testing so I was left with the other responsibilities. Baltimore couldn’t land a free agent and contracts negotiations are borderline non-existent. The trade aspect was the most fun but even then, there was always a feeling that someone could be screwing you over. Seeing how the league operates through the GM discord chat was probably the only silver lining to the experience. I can say that this is where I also learned that DeathonReddit (Asipi) can be tolerable in some situations. Very few actually.

Fast forward a couple of seasons, I approach Hendrix that being a GM sucks. The other GMs suck, head office sucks, it’s all pointless and a waste of effort. I tell him I will finish out the current season and help find a replacement, maybe through the draft. We talk further and Hendrix shared similar frustrations with me. At the time, I didn’t know it but that was going to be the last conversation I ever had with Hendrix. Over night, he pulled a Keyser Sose and just disappeared without a trace. He even took the Baltimore logo with him. Seriously! While he told me how he would quit, he never eluded that it was going to happen when it did. I kind of coasted through the last week or so before pulling my own Hendrix-esque department from the GM role.

At this point, I feel bad for the fans of Baltimore. We’ve been devastated in the post-season multiple times and saw their beloved GM ghost them. SLM and Manicmav stepped up, which I assume out of obligation, and have done more in 2-3 short seasons than was accomplished in the franchise’s first 7 seasons. They signed Baltimore’s first free agent, then signed some more. Pulling in talent that previously never seemed possible. They drafted well, built up locker room morale, and finally earned the franchise the long deserved Ultimus title.

Now, behind every player there is the user. I am not active in any discord channels aside from Baltimore LR. When I’m on the forum, I’m either earning TPE or complaining about some rule that HO has gotten wrong. By my own admission, I can be difficult to deal with and that’s multiplied by the internet’s lack of tone and people’s desire to assume negative intent. My wife appreciates all of you because I take out my frustrations here then go home in a much better mood. What most people don’t realize is that all my forum activity makes up about 20% of all my league interactions. So, if you don’t like my opinions or approach to debates and topics in the forum, you’re only seeing about 1/5 of everything. I’m not here to apologize because I still don’t think I am wrong. The rest of my frustrations have all been deferred to nunccoepi, manicmav, and SLM. While SLM does a good job of walking the line between Owner, GM, and friend, I will eventually wear down even the most patient person. While the team was celebrating their championship win, my “no days off” mentality was already looking ahead towards the offseason and my next league grievance. SLM made a decision based on the best interest of the team and the rest is history.

On that note, Trey Willie has kind of been homeless for the last 5 days or so. I have received several personal messages during that time and was met with more overall positivity than expected. I asked for some time while I went away for the weekend leaving all of the internet behind. While I didn’t miss this league while I was gone, I returned to work today and this league kills my time here while I sit here and stare at the clock.

While I was away, I made a final decision on how I would approach the life of Trey Willie. For those that messaged me today, you know what I’m about to say. Basically, at this point Willie has played all 8 of his professional years in Baltimore. I pretty much knew once I hit regression if I was still a Hawk, I would retire a Hawk. With that said, Trey Willie will not dawn another team’s uniform. If Willie doesn’t play for Baltimore in S11, then it will time to hang them up and hit the reset button. I am not opposed to retirement as I am tired of the wide-receiver character arc anyway. The final decision on how and when my career ends lies in the hands of the Hawks’ front office. There’s an equal amount of pros and cons to their decision so I won’t hold a grudge either way.