Welcome back to Kicking it with Kevin ladies, gentlemen and our gracious definitely-not-lizard overlords in head office. Today's guest ate more than Kelvin Benjamin and went from quarterback to linebacker. He once crushed a ball midflight with nothing but willpower and sex appeal. Not only does he look better in jorts than Josh Allen, he can grow a more arousing mustache than Gardner Minshew. He simply chooses not to, to save millions of marriages worldwide. Please welcome my guest Haha Mango-Panda.
Kevin: Hello Haha, thank you for being here. I like to get straight into interviews, so I'll start right away. How was your rookie season in the DSFL?
Haha: First off thanks for having me! My rookie season in the DSFL was a ton of fun. As many of you might or might not know I was with the Dallas Birddogs. Everyone in the locker room was great and we were close to making it into the playoffs but ultimately came up short. It was a definitely a fun season and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Kevin: Have you made any rivals in the league so far? I remember we carved you guys up in week 4. Any of us Coyotes you're not fond of after that game?
Haha: Yeah I remember that it was a brutal game, the Coyotes definitely smoked us. Our offense had a rough start as I remember it. I know I was just trying to help the team get on it's feet since we were already 1-2 at that point. As far as rivals go, I did not think I have made any so far, sure there might be some players here or there that I would consider "wack" but they're not my rivals. Also, I like the Coyote players, I'd like to shout out Sweets, Dillmiballs, Phat Boi and Jeeta, those are some mighty fine players.
Kevin: Those guys are all great, i'd love to get any of those guys on here. I just had Jeeta as my first guest. Fantastic player, and even better person. My next question was about the NSFL draft experience. How did you cope with the anticipation? I know I was pumped all day.
Haha: You're great too Kevin, I didn't forget about you. I was hyped all day for the draft. I don't know if you saw my twitter feed, but I was basically counting down the days until draft day. The way I was coping with it was just watching film, trying to get better and putting in work. Because whatever team I was going to be drafted by I wanted to win and Sarasota knew this. LET'S GO!
Kevin: I wasn't online for a few weeks there, as I was busy carrying sherpas up mountains deep in Nepal, and knife fighting bears in the northern tundra. How do you think Sarasota's culture stacks up compared to the Birddogs locker room?
Haha: Knife fighting bears? That's pretty insane, how many bears are we talking exactly? And what kind of bears? Better not be be Panda bears. I can't say for sure how it compares right now. But I know Frost and RainDelay are great guys that are building a team from scratch so the culture is just forming. I know in Dallas, it was an expansion team as well, it took some time for the culture to form so only time will tell with Sarasota. I'm sure it'll be a good one, we got me!
Kevin: Believe it or not, pandas are rubbish at knife fighting. I prefer grizzlies, they have natural knives. It's definitely gotta be one on one, bears are pretty strong. Don't worry about the legality of it, I've got a guy who helps me set up the matches in international waters off the coast of Florida. Some of these linemen out here are bigger and stronger than the bears, so I'm thinking of incorporating a moose or two into my next training regimen.
Anyway, back to you and your incredible season, how are you going to top 106 tackles, 4 passes defenced and a blocked punt? You've been an incredible asset for Dallas, do you think you're gonna be able to replicate that performance?
Haha: Pandas prefer bamboo sticks. I'm sure that's all perfectly legal in some way. Yeah I feel like my stats are alright, our linebacking group in Dallas was stacked. So I'm was surprised as many are to have those stats. With Koniecpolski and Bayley Jr. in the mix, I was just trying to keep up with those guys. I was lined up at nickel linebacker so my job was coverage and cleaning up. I feel like I did a great job there. In the NSFL, I want to do a whole lot better not just replicate, I know Frost has some plans for me already and I'm ready to display the true power of a Panda.
Kevin: Frost is a great gm, i think we're lucky to be picked up by one of the good ones. It's been an incredibly insightful interview with you today Haha, I'd like to thank you for coming on today. One last question if I may; Are the rumours that you might not be as furious as previously advertised true?
Haha: Those rumors are false, Gucci recommended that I take anger management classes because I almost ripped Big Edd's head off. So absolutely false! I am as furious as they come and I'm still furious! The teams that didn't draft me better watch out! I'm coming for their quarterbacks! GRRRR .... But thanks for having me Kevin! And I look forward to playing with you in Sarasota.
Come back next time, when our guest, Sim Snowbow will be on the show. Thank you for reading and see you next time on Kicking it with Kevin.
To the graders, Haha and I agreed to go halves in the money for this one
Kevin: Hello Haha, thank you for being here. I like to get straight into interviews, so I'll start right away. How was your rookie season in the DSFL?
Haha: First off thanks for having me! My rookie season in the DSFL was a ton of fun. As many of you might or might not know I was with the Dallas Birddogs. Everyone in the locker room was great and we were close to making it into the playoffs but ultimately came up short. It was a definitely a fun season and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Kevin: Have you made any rivals in the league so far? I remember we carved you guys up in week 4. Any of us Coyotes you're not fond of after that game?
Haha: Yeah I remember that it was a brutal game, the Coyotes definitely smoked us. Our offense had a rough start as I remember it. I know I was just trying to help the team get on it's feet since we were already 1-2 at that point. As far as rivals go, I did not think I have made any so far, sure there might be some players here or there that I would consider "wack" but they're not my rivals. Also, I like the Coyote players, I'd like to shout out Sweets, Dillmiballs, Phat Boi and Jeeta, those are some mighty fine players.
Kevin: Those guys are all great, i'd love to get any of those guys on here. I just had Jeeta as my first guest. Fantastic player, and even better person. My next question was about the NSFL draft experience. How did you cope with the anticipation? I know I was pumped all day.
Haha: You're great too Kevin, I didn't forget about you. I was hyped all day for the draft. I don't know if you saw my twitter feed, but I was basically counting down the days until draft day. The way I was coping with it was just watching film, trying to get better and putting in work. Because whatever team I was going to be drafted by I wanted to win and Sarasota knew this. LET'S GO!
Kevin: I wasn't online for a few weeks there, as I was busy carrying sherpas up mountains deep in Nepal, and knife fighting bears in the northern tundra. How do you think Sarasota's culture stacks up compared to the Birddogs locker room?
Haha: Knife fighting bears? That's pretty insane, how many bears are we talking exactly? And what kind of bears? Better not be be Panda bears. I can't say for sure how it compares right now. But I know Frost and RainDelay are great guys that are building a team from scratch so the culture is just forming. I know in Dallas, it was an expansion team as well, it took some time for the culture to form so only time will tell with Sarasota. I'm sure it'll be a good one, we got me!
Kevin: Believe it or not, pandas are rubbish at knife fighting. I prefer grizzlies, they have natural knives. It's definitely gotta be one on one, bears are pretty strong. Don't worry about the legality of it, I've got a guy who helps me set up the matches in international waters off the coast of Florida. Some of these linemen out here are bigger and stronger than the bears, so I'm thinking of incorporating a moose or two into my next training regimen.
Anyway, back to you and your incredible season, how are you going to top 106 tackles, 4 passes defenced and a blocked punt? You've been an incredible asset for Dallas, do you think you're gonna be able to replicate that performance?
Haha: Pandas prefer bamboo sticks. I'm sure that's all perfectly legal in some way. Yeah I feel like my stats are alright, our linebacking group in Dallas was stacked. So I'm was surprised as many are to have those stats. With Koniecpolski and Bayley Jr. in the mix, I was just trying to keep up with those guys. I was lined up at nickel linebacker so my job was coverage and cleaning up. I feel like I did a great job there. In the NSFL, I want to do a whole lot better not just replicate, I know Frost has some plans for me already and I'm ready to display the true power of a Panda.
Kevin: Frost is a great gm, i think we're lucky to be picked up by one of the good ones. It's been an incredibly insightful interview with you today Haha, I'd like to thank you for coming on today. One last question if I may; Are the rumours that you might not be as furious as previously advertised true?
Haha: Those rumors are false, Gucci recommended that I take anger management classes because I almost ripped Big Edd's head off. So absolutely false! I am as furious as they come and I'm still furious! The teams that didn't draft me better watch out! I'm coming for their quarterbacks! GRRRR .... But thanks for having me Kevin! And I look forward to playing with you in Sarasota.
Come back next time, when our guest, Sim Snowbow will be on the show. Thank you for reading and see you next time on Kicking it with Kevin.
To the graders, Haha and I agreed to go halves in the money for this one
![[Image: DAk8xDZ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/DAk8xDZ.png)
