What up everyone! I decided to do a ranking of what I thought of for the DSFL draft. We only had 4 teams this year and I’m going to list out the draftees in order by rounds. Here are the Bobby Ruckus draft grades! I also included each GM’s Wu-Tang clan member name based on their username.
Fish Scale:
***** = CREAM
**** = Duke fuckin’ killed it
*** = Raw like cocaine from Bolivia
** = You fuckin’ high when you did this, blood?
* = Did not protect his neck
Kansas City Coyotes
GMs: Arrogant Beggar (jiggly) and Insane Knight (124715)
Rating: *****
Picks: Borkus Maximus III - QB, Jerry Ricecake - WR, Jack Dwyer - LB, Micycle McCormick K/P, Deez Nutts (hehe) - DT, Tor Tuck - TE, Wendell Blye - DE, Poopyface Tomatonose (very original) - TE, Robby Rainey - RB
Coyotes needed a kilo by the boatload of talent and got it with the first pick in this draft. Maximus comes with that dolla dolla bill ya’ll and he’ll be the starting QB for a few seasons before going to the NSFL. They got him some offensive targets with Ricecake, Tuck and Tomatonose so he should be good for this season. They got an active runningback now and things are looking mighty fine like wine for the Coyotes. On defense they got Nutts (hehe) and Blye to throw down and a nice looking kicker in McCormick. I like how they are looking this season (waaaaay better than last season)
Portland Pythons
GMs: Tha Overlord (pdxballer) and Bittah Specialist (JohnWachter)
Rating: *****
Picks: Norman Bagwell - DT, Glenn McPoyal - TE, Austin Roenick - QB, Vernon Collins - DE, Dwayne Aaron - WR, Egan Winter - CB, and yours truly Bobby Ruckus - (Now S)
I’m going to be a bit biased with this one because I got chosen in the 8th round at 33rd. I only got contacted by Tha Overlord up until the draft and then I saw a message from Coyotes last minute. If you look at the whole cast it doesn’t even seem like anyone scouted my dudes at all. First off, we knew the Bag-man was going 1st round no doubt. My dude had the highest TPE out of all the other cats in the draft. The Pythons have a winning formula and it looks like they found their illuminati triangle of offense with Roenick, McPoyal, and Aaron. Even better than last season, they drafted the super square of defense (sup Aaron) with me, Collins, Winter, and Bagwell. I love this team already!!!
San Antonio Marshals
GMs: Master Worlock (kckolbe) and Scratchin’ Magician (Roly) (HAHA THIS IS PERFECT)
Rating: ****
Picks: Storm Woods - CB, Gustav Rodriguez - DT, Carter Bush - RB, Grey Slax - WR, Willy Nyquist - RB, Rob Anderson - LB
The Master Worlock was in full effect with his magic stick. He hit once, twice, and a few times to get one of the 3 cornerbacks in this draft and got himself a big boy for defensive tackle with Rodriguez and Anderson for linebacker. Marshal’s like to run and run so far a-waaayyy so they got 2 of the best running backs in this draft. In still new to this league, but it looks like Bush and Nyquist are league vets so how the fuck did they drop so low is anyone’s guess (seriously). They got Slax in the 4th round and I think that was a bank robbery pick too since he’s a big TPE guy in other league’s I’ve seen him in.
Tijuana Luchadores
GMs: Annoyin’ Ambassador (loco) and Smilin’ Leader (jaskins811)
Picks: Elvin Enchant - LB, Lil Bot - RB, Brian Mills - LB, Bogdan Wojcik - DT, Antonio Legion - WR, Mantis Toboggan - QB, Forfeit - K/P, Blessed Storm - WR, Clown Baby - TE, Manson Killer - CB
Rating: ****
I heard this was jaskins first time drafting in the DSFL and I think he did….SWELL. The Smilin’ Leader managed to get not one, but two of the best linebackers in this draft class and they happened to be buddies as well. Enchant and Mills are going to give the DSFL something special in the form of a big can of whoop-ass. They got some true veterans too with Bot, Legion, Storm, and Toboggan so Tijuana will remain a tough playoff competitor in their division. I’m not sure how Killer will do since he hasn’t been on since 12/19. Everyone else is fuckin’ solid as Luke Cage and they’ll lay the smackdown on everyone this season.
So yeah...I was generous with my scales. So what? I like to be positive and talk about the best in these teams. I’m not about that negativity, but I AM about that dolla! CREAM!!!! In the immortal words of ODB:
“If you wanna look good and not be bummy
Girl you better give me that money”
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780 words
GRADED
Fish Scale:
***** = CREAM
**** = Duke fuckin’ killed it
*** = Raw like cocaine from Bolivia
** = You fuckin’ high when you did this, blood?
* = Did not protect his neck
Kansas City Coyotes
GMs: Arrogant Beggar (jiggly) and Insane Knight (124715)
Rating: *****
Picks: Borkus Maximus III - QB, Jerry Ricecake - WR, Jack Dwyer - LB, Micycle McCormick K/P, Deez Nutts (hehe) - DT, Tor Tuck - TE, Wendell Blye - DE, Poopyface Tomatonose (very original) - TE, Robby Rainey - RB
Coyotes needed a kilo by the boatload of talent and got it with the first pick in this draft. Maximus comes with that dolla dolla bill ya’ll and he’ll be the starting QB for a few seasons before going to the NSFL. They got him some offensive targets with Ricecake, Tuck and Tomatonose so he should be good for this season. They got an active runningback now and things are looking mighty fine like wine for the Coyotes. On defense they got Nutts (hehe) and Blye to throw down and a nice looking kicker in McCormick. I like how they are looking this season (waaaaay better than last season)
Portland Pythons
GMs: Tha Overlord (pdxballer) and Bittah Specialist (JohnWachter)
Rating: *****
Picks: Norman Bagwell - DT, Glenn McPoyal - TE, Austin Roenick - QB, Vernon Collins - DE, Dwayne Aaron - WR, Egan Winter - CB, and yours truly Bobby Ruckus - (Now S)
I’m going to be a bit biased with this one because I got chosen in the 8th round at 33rd. I only got contacted by Tha Overlord up until the draft and then I saw a message from Coyotes last minute. If you look at the whole cast it doesn’t even seem like anyone scouted my dudes at all. First off, we knew the Bag-man was going 1st round no doubt. My dude had the highest TPE out of all the other cats in the draft. The Pythons have a winning formula and it looks like they found their illuminati triangle of offense with Roenick, McPoyal, and Aaron. Even better than last season, they drafted the super square of defense (sup Aaron) with me, Collins, Winter, and Bagwell. I love this team already!!!
San Antonio Marshals
GMs: Master Worlock (kckolbe) and Scratchin’ Magician (Roly) (HAHA THIS IS PERFECT)
Rating: ****
Picks: Storm Woods - CB, Gustav Rodriguez - DT, Carter Bush - RB, Grey Slax - WR, Willy Nyquist - RB, Rob Anderson - LB
The Master Worlock was in full effect with his magic stick. He hit once, twice, and a few times to get one of the 3 cornerbacks in this draft and got himself a big boy for defensive tackle with Rodriguez and Anderson for linebacker. Marshal’s like to run and run so far a-waaayyy so they got 2 of the best running backs in this draft. In still new to this league, but it looks like Bush and Nyquist are league vets so how the fuck did they drop so low is anyone’s guess (seriously). They got Slax in the 4th round and I think that was a bank robbery pick too since he’s a big TPE guy in other league’s I’ve seen him in.
Tijuana Luchadores
GMs: Annoyin’ Ambassador (loco) and Smilin’ Leader (jaskins811)
Picks: Elvin Enchant - LB, Lil Bot - RB, Brian Mills - LB, Bogdan Wojcik - DT, Antonio Legion - WR, Mantis Toboggan - QB, Forfeit - K/P, Blessed Storm - WR, Clown Baby - TE, Manson Killer - CB
Rating: ****
I heard this was jaskins first time drafting in the DSFL and I think he did….SWELL. The Smilin’ Leader managed to get not one, but two of the best linebackers in this draft class and they happened to be buddies as well. Enchant and Mills are going to give the DSFL something special in the form of a big can of whoop-ass. They got some true veterans too with Bot, Legion, Storm, and Toboggan so Tijuana will remain a tough playoff competitor in their division. I’m not sure how Killer will do since he hasn’t been on since 12/19. Everyone else is fuckin’ solid as Luke Cage and they’ll lay the smackdown on everyone this season.
So yeah...I was generous with my scales. So what? I like to be positive and talk about the best in these teams. I’m not about that negativity, but I AM about that dolla! CREAM!!!! In the immortal words of ODB:
“If you wanna look good and not be bummy
Girl you better give me that money”
--------------------
780 words
GRADED
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Jurisprudence Jones, OL ![[Image: cYhSwFY.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cYhSwFY.png)
