Woweee! It’s been a rollercoaster of events recently and wilder than any 8 second ride I can tell you that! I landed in Portland a few days ago and I still can’t believe everything that’s gone on! The past few days felt faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind! After landing in Portland, Rolando Pennywhistle (@speculadora) was there to greet with me with a welcome party and some die hard Python fans were there too! I felt like a real bonafide celebrity gettin’ pictures taken with them and signing autographs. I don’t think I’ll ever get use to that even though I had some of that fanfare when I played in Austin.
We took a quick trip to the Pythons head offices and Rolando was chewing my ear off along the way about how excited he was to have me on the team. It felt a bit tight in his Prius and our trip through downtown seemed to take forever even though it was tiny compared to Houston or Austin. Rolando kept going on and on about how this was his first season as a co-GM and how excited the head General Manager was to see me again. Rolando seemed happy as a hog in mud! Once we got the head offices, we went up to the 3rd floor and there was Rashaad Brooks(@PDXBaller) in the lobby waitin’ for me. He shook my hand with a firm shake and the first thing he said was “I’ve been waiting for you to bring that Texas sized arm to Portland, son.” That Rashaad is real snake charmer if you know what I mean. He was the only General Manager to fly down to Houston to visit me and my family and actually spent some time with us over a few family dinners. Rashaad cares about his players and you could tell he was honest through and through. I would bet the farm on it.
We went back to one of the meeting rooms and Borro Gore(@Goretron) walked into the room after I situated myself in front. He came over and sat down next to me without me noticing and leaned over to say “you ready to win us a championship?.” I didn’t even realize he was there at first! That man’s faster than a sneeze through a screen door I tell ya! We got to talkin’ a bit more before the rest of the coaching staff came in and he got his tail up about last season’s Ultimini championship game against Palm Beach. I told him I watched the game on my 7 hour flight over from Houston and it was easy to see those were some of the meanest robots I’d ever seen in my life! They were tough as nickel steak and probably made of nickel too. Gore told me those darn robots couldn’t feel anything when they hit the ground and that gave them a big advantage over us human types who could feel pain. I could only imagine how hard those robots must hit. Probably harder than a Mack truck or school bus! Once we got settled in with the staff they all introduced themselves to me and then Rashaad went up in front of the room.
“Cole…we’re happy to have you here in Portland! I know it’ll be a big adjustment for you, but once you get use to drinking $8 fair trade coffee over sweet tea and get yourself some flannel shirts to go along with some thick rimmed glasses I’m sure you’ll fit in! Man-bun is optional for now.”
That statement had me nervous as a whore in church, but Gore looked over and busted out laughing as he saw my face slowly scrunch up.
“I’m kidding Cole! We’re happy to have you here as the true gunslinger you are! Hopefully you can learn a lot from Jameis Christ since it’s his last season in the DSFL!”
I looked around and there wasn’t anyone else in the room except the coaching staff and Gore sitting next to me. Just then, the Jameis Christ superstar walked into the room and sat down to my left. He whispered,
“You’ve got a long way to go Big Tex, but we’re here to help you out.”
I nodded at Jameis and said to him:
“Let’s bring back that Ultimini! Yeeeeeeehaaawwwwwww!!!!”
We took a quick trip to the Pythons head offices and Rolando was chewing my ear off along the way about how excited he was to have me on the team. It felt a bit tight in his Prius and our trip through downtown seemed to take forever even though it was tiny compared to Houston or Austin. Rolando kept going on and on about how this was his first season as a co-GM and how excited the head General Manager was to see me again. Rolando seemed happy as a hog in mud! Once we got the head offices, we went up to the 3rd floor and there was Rashaad Brooks(@PDXBaller) in the lobby waitin’ for me. He shook my hand with a firm shake and the first thing he said was “I’ve been waiting for you to bring that Texas sized arm to Portland, son.” That Rashaad is real snake charmer if you know what I mean. He was the only General Manager to fly down to Houston to visit me and my family and actually spent some time with us over a few family dinners. Rashaad cares about his players and you could tell he was honest through and through. I would bet the farm on it.
We went back to one of the meeting rooms and Borro Gore(@Goretron) walked into the room after I situated myself in front. He came over and sat down next to me without me noticing and leaned over to say “you ready to win us a championship?.” I didn’t even realize he was there at first! That man’s faster than a sneeze through a screen door I tell ya! We got to talkin’ a bit more before the rest of the coaching staff came in and he got his tail up about last season’s Ultimini championship game against Palm Beach. I told him I watched the game on my 7 hour flight over from Houston and it was easy to see those were some of the meanest robots I’d ever seen in my life! They were tough as nickel steak and probably made of nickel too. Gore told me those darn robots couldn’t feel anything when they hit the ground and that gave them a big advantage over us human types who could feel pain. I could only imagine how hard those robots must hit. Probably harder than a Mack truck or school bus! Once we got settled in with the staff they all introduced themselves to me and then Rashaad went up in front of the room.
“Cole…we’re happy to have you here in Portland! I know it’ll be a big adjustment for you, but once you get use to drinking $8 fair trade coffee over sweet tea and get yourself some flannel shirts to go along with some thick rimmed glasses I’m sure you’ll fit in! Man-bun is optional for now.”
That statement had me nervous as a whore in church, but Gore looked over and busted out laughing as he saw my face slowly scrunch up.
“I’m kidding Cole! We’re happy to have you here as the true gunslinger you are! Hopefully you can learn a lot from Jameis Christ since it’s his last season in the DSFL!”
I looked around and there wasn’t anyone else in the room except the coaching staff and Gore sitting next to me. Just then, the Jameis Christ superstar walked into the room and sat down to my left. He whispered,
“You’ve got a long way to go Big Tex, but we’re here to help you out.”
I nodded at Jameis and said to him:
“Let’s bring back that Ultimini! Yeeeeeeehaaawwwwwww!!!!”
[div align=center]![[Image: lXcUhIJ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/lXcUhIJ.png)
Faith, Family, and Football[div align=center]
Faith, Family, and Football[div align=center]
![[Image: XSfVUgo.png]](https://i.imgur.com/XSfVUgo.png)
![[Image: TBFYuND.png]](https://i.imgur.com/TBFYuND.png)
