(S6) - Weekend PT 1 - Sticky Situations

[PaytonM34]

Part of being a player of an NSFL team and a coach of the DSFL team is the travelling. Me and Jaskins, both being a part of management for the Tijuana Luchadores and players for the newly relocated New Orleans Second Line, travel to and from both locations almost daily. Until today, getting across the border was an easy task. They ask us some simple questions, search our belongings, and then let us move on. Today, the border patrol officer noticed our recent history of crossing the border, and was suspicious.
"Guys, any drugs or alcohol on board?"
"No sir, just going to work."
"Where do you guys work at?"

We both answered at the same time.
Brian Mills : "New Orleans"
Jaskins : "Tijuana"
We both looked at each other knowing we were screwed. The story was too suspicious for the border patrol officer. Let's say that for our sake, we will never have that mix up again. The border patrol guys don't mess around during a cavity search.

170 words

[Chukka]

Andreas Waiters angered instagram posts and threats against ex. Further reports will surface as more details arise.

[Robigo_]

My run in with the law? Well it was the weekend after the draft. There was a huge get together with friends and family. We were grilling out, having some beers and possibly taking a few shots. Some people played cards. Some people were just socializing. Me and some others were playing a pickup game of football. Well as it got darker and things were suppose to be winding down we were getting louder. The football was getting a little tougher and more violent. An officer had stopped by, just to pass along that there had been a noise complaint. He caught sight of the rough housing and violent play. Unfortunately a few of the younger guests had snuck some alcohol and were making fools of themselves. There was no way the officer didn’t notice. But for some reason. He acted like he didn’t see it, he just told us to keep it down and to keep it easy in the future. We had gotten lucky that the officer was feeling generous that Evening. Things coulda been worse, but we got lucky to get off with a warning.

188 words

[AsylumParty]

As recently having turned a year older, Dustin Evans had celebrated in NSFL fashion alongside his NOLA teammates in their new city. They found it to be only fitting that they should all take part in an actual second line! The birthday party turned into quite the public event and more like a welcome to the city for the entire team.

Borkus was abducted by the vague, yet menacing government agency that watches us all, Brister attempted to follow him and his captor but somehow ended up in a Taiwanese general store being accused of theft, and new star linebacker, Brian Mills, collected so many beads that he now has a minor back sprain which is extremely unfortunate and impressive alike. Dustin did absolutely nothing of note, and in fact, he only walked around in circles saying "I'm almost at 150 words, very close now, yes surely I am nearly there." Very confusing, he was probably drunk.

[White Cornerback]

Just hours before the Orange County Otters were meant to square off in their 5th consecutive ultimus appearance against the challengers from Yellowknife, Lavelle was in a spot of bother.

It turns out that his high caloric surplus diet through staples such as three litres of milk, pasta and chicken on a daily basis might in fact affect his bowel schedule when it mattered the most.

Lavelle went throughout his day the same as he had done before and ultimately this was his downfall later on. After pre game team talks was over, Lavelle had about 15 minutes before he and the team had to be out on the field for the national anthem(s). Lavelle decided that it was either now or never to relieve himself before the "big game".

He made his way to the bathrooms where just 10 minutes remained before he needed to be on the pitch, scrolling through reddit while sitting on the throne, he lost track of time and ended up spending close to 40 minutes on the toilet, at this point the entire 1st quarter of the Ultimus was finished and Lavelle hadn't seen a snap.

He ran out onto the sidelines to what he thought would be shock and awe, instead security didn't recognize him and he had to be escorted off premises, Yellowknife would go on to lose their 2nd consecutive Ultimus that night.

[DeathOnReddit]

The most sticky situation Arbin Asipi Jr has been in has to have been when he was accused of murder. Walking through the streets late at night, Asipi Jr was seen by cops and looking like a suspect. He later learned he and the suspect were both above 6 feet wearing black. During the arrest Asipi Jr demanded to be let go and he told them he wasn't the guy they were looking for. Of course the cops didn't believe him, took him to jail and interrogated him. He was there for a couple of days before he was finally let loose after the actual murderer was caught. At the time he was very frightened and was even worried he wouldn't be able to play football because of this. Luckily it was all sorted out and now it's a funny story he can tell without worrying about anything except being laughed at. What a story it was
.

[JBLAZE_THE_BOSS]

[Daybe]

Well, I haven't had too many issues off the football field. Probably the worst thing that's happened to me in that sort of situation was when I was accidentally given the other team's playbook in the Texas High School championship. Our opponents mistook me for their backup quarterback, and gave their full offensive playbook to me. I was pretty confused, but just head to our locker room. The coach who gave the playbooks to me seemed to be pretty drunk, so he didn't notice. Needless to say, our defense played pretty darn well against the best scoring offense in all of Texas. It drew a hell of a lot of suspicion, and they almost got me when the backup QB reported that he never got his game playbook. Luckily, security found a fishy guy walking around the entrance shoving something in their jacket pocket, so they caught him instead. By the time they realized they had the wrong guy, I was in college.

[manicmav36]

Owen Taylor has always been a pretty straight-laced guy, never really had any troubles with the law, except just once. As some of you may remember, just this past November, Taylor was involved in a scuffle with a fellow shopper during on Black Friday in a Baltimore Target. Scuffle probably isn’t the correct word here, as the poor man was left with a nasty gash below his left eye, while Taylor was unscathed. The altercation started as the unnamed man attempted to grab the last “Tickle Me Elmo” (yes, they’re back) out of Taylor’s wife’s shopping cart. Taylor’s daughter is a massive fan of Elmo and the toy was highly sought after. Taylor didn’t appreciate the man taking the toy of out his wife’s cart and words were exchanged. There are conflicting reports on whether the man threw a punch first, but it’s clear who threw the last punch. Although charges were never pressed (as a life-long Hawks fan, he happily accepted a signed jersey and an apology), Taylor was kept overnight at the station.

[jparks98]