(S8) - Weekend PT 5 - Advertising Opportunity

[Doctor Topher]

Looking for an young, attractive athlete to be the face of your franchise? Look no further than Chris Bennett. Haling from Chicago, IL and graduating from Michigan State University as a legendary two sport athlete, you'll have the Midwest buying any athletic gear you slap my face on. At the risk of bashing other positions, quarterbacks sell. No matter how great of an offensive lineman you are, the average Joe isn't going to recognize you.They will however, notice a well known quarterback or pitcher hitting the professional market for the first time. Imagine being able to cover two markets with just one paycheck. You can in Chris Bennett. But why stop at just football or baseball athletic gear? Chris Bennett is from the Midwest, he's experienced tough winters and off road driving. Use him to sell trucks. Technology? No problem. Chris Bennett can be utilized season round to sell anything from cereals, to cleats and undershirts, to trucks, phones, and laptops.

Words: 161

[Molarpistols]

Gus T.T. Showbiz is interested in attaining some sponsorship contracts. Big salaries in the NSFL are possible, but somewhat infrequent, especially if the player has any interest in championship opportunities. To supplement his NSFL income, Gus is quite interested in a beer sponsership from a brewery like Lagunitas.

As one of Gus's favorite beverages, Lagunitas brews would be the perfect item for Gus to be the face of. The wondeful taste and flavor of delicious hops can be mirrored by Gus's talents on the NSFL football field. Gus's first-class football IQ can lend towards his credibility in choosing a good brand. Gus's great accuracy and arm power are another addition that rounds out the awesomeness that is his game. Hops, malt and grains must meld together to make a great beer, just like Showbiz's skills must amalgamate into a great performance on the field.

With a partnership like Lagunitas and Showbiz, how could it not be prosperous?

[White Cornerback]

Written: Must Include 150 Words. Make your pitch to the company you want to be the face of the brand for. Or write from the company’s prospective to you saying why they want you to be the face of their brand.

In a previous PT I wrote about Lavelle's real hate for Kerrygold (It tastes like fucking margarine, it's dry as fuck and you can't even use it in baking it's so fucking dry) and his real love for Dairygold in my opinion, the most superior Irish butter. This PT will take a different avenue.

Lavelle made the option to pursue the opportunity to be the flagship athlete for the upcoming "Cudi Sports". Kid Cudi , (real name Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi) is fresh off the release of his collaborative album as apart of Kids See Ghosts with Kanye West and now fresh off the success is looking to venture into the sports market.

Lavelle who is heading into his 9th season at the end of this playoff run has expressed concerns about the longevity of the product. Lavelle, 30 has in the past expressed interest in starting his own football merchandise & possible sports agency at the end of his career.

[YoungTB]

Breathe Right x Marquise "TDB" Brown

That's right. The most unlikely dynamic duo is now into fruition. Breathe Right is introducing limited edition Breathe Right strips to help you sniff out the endzone just like Marquise Brown does. Collaborating with the one and only Touchdown Brown was no easy task. He had a specific set of ideas that he wanted to put on the strip, though there was only so much we could do. We settled with the classic marshal green and tan with the Marshals logo branded across the strip. We know you'll love it, and your nose will love it even more. With the TDB Breathe Right strips, you'll be breathing better in no time, giving you the advantage over stuffy bedtime noses like Touchdown Brown's advantage over opposing defenses. With clear nasal passages, you'll be on your way to dominating in your dreams like TDB did this season, rushing in a whopping 15 touchdowns this season in the DSFL. The strip is essential for any San Antonio super-fan to help enhance your dreams of Touchdown Brown, FitzMagic, and the San Antonio No-Fly Zone leading the Marshals to another Ultimini title. You might need some new underpants with all of those wet dreams you'll be having with the help of TDB Breathe Right strips!

Look for the new limited edition Touchdown Brown Breathe Right strips today at your local Walgreen's, CVS, Rite Aid, or rival endzones.

190 words (thanks kolbe)

[Scootalicious]

This is a live video taken of James Brown pichting himself as the person to use for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

BROWN: "Okay, hello everyone. My name is James Brown as you can see on the papers I handed to you. Now, I'm not the biggest known player in the NFL or anything, I ain't no Tom Brady or nothing, but I'm pretty well known in the DSFL if that proves anything for you. I've had a great season with the Portland Pythons even being on the Ultimini winning team last season. Now I want to pitch myself to you guys because I personally love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and I think I'd be the best person to represent them. You see I'm James Brown, and the Reese's cups are brown. Brown and brown!

No one laughs.

"Okay, if that won't work, I could honestly renamed myself to James Chocolate. That works right? Or James Reese? Or James' Peanut Butter Cups? That would work right? Why are you telling me to leave?"

(171 words)

[Bzerkap]

I approached LifeVac with one move in my arsenal, experience, and we'll see if they take it. Now you're probably wondering, who are LifeVac and what are they selling? Why don't I tell you?

LifeVac is a small company, based out of Springfield Gardens New York, selling their patented Choking Rescue Device. This product can be all yours for the low low price of $69.95, plush shipping. It's portable, fashionable, and sets up in a jiffy. Me or my friends honestly will never leave home without it again.

Yes it's a small company, but it is something near and dear to my heart as I have been afflicted by choking for several seasons now. BUT, I have lived to tell the tale every time. I know just as well as anyone the hazards choking can cause, and I believe my experience with it can be a huge boon to their sales, and my efforts to stop public choking around the world.

[bovovovo]

Borkus Maximus III has recently been announced as the official face of Gogurt. This comes shortly following Yoikos Yogurt announcing that they would be terminated Borkus Maximus III as the face of their brand following his alleged sexist comments which were unfortunately televised to a national audience. Borkus said that it was “funny to hear a Yeti talk about winning.” This came at a time when social movements for Yeti equality were at an all time high as more of society recognizes the significant socio-economic factors negatively impacting the Yeti community. Even though Borkus Maximus III’s comment was made in jest, the local social justice warriors of the NAFL took notice after one Yeti anonymously posted that he was “sick and tired” and “offended” and “outraged” by this racist and sexist remark. (Sexist because Yeti is actually a male term, the female term for Yeti is Yeta). This controversy has resulted in Borkus being “downgraded” from the Yoikos yogurt brand to the Gogurt brand. Luckily, Borkus prefers Gogurt anyways.

(170 words)

[OBESE]

Hello Declan, my name is Fillip Jursovic and I am the PR manager of a small company in Thailand who does tourism trips and attractions in the waters of Thailand. Our main speciality is shark, dolphin, human and of course whale hunting. Yes, most of these things are illegal so I have to say that we are a dark web company and that means that the money is good. We have been low on numbers when it comes to whale hunting as human hunting has skyrocketed, so we would like to do a commercial for whale hunting. The reason I am contacting you is to offer to be the face of our commercial. We were thinking to find someone like native New Zealand looking person to do a shot using the idea of hunting the white whale - Moby Dick. We are willing to pay you some good amount of money, so please reply as soon as you can and let us know would you like to talk further about this offer.

[Blastmeaway]

[dropbear]

For as long as sports and the candy bar Butterfingers have coexisted, the two have been intrinsically linked. Taunting fans use the term ‘butterfingers’ to antagonise players from the opposing team who have been less than graceful in their handling of whichever ball the sport they’re watching involves. Dismayed fans have use the term ‘butterfingers’ to bemoan the performance of their team’s players who can’t maintain their grip on the ball. Something that is, often times, their most important – if not only – job.

Howard Miller has had an issue with dropping catches since his days in the DSFL. He doesn’t know what started it, and he doesn’t know what’s kept it going throughout his first two seasons in the NSFL, but whenever he’s on the field, you’re bound to see at least one drop. It’s such a persistent issue, it’s so reliably present in his game, that he has decided he should at least profit from it.

So, c’mon Butterfingers… hit me up!