(S12) - Ultimus Week

[TrueTexican]

Post-Game
We had a slim shot at beating them but I want to talk about the DSFL conference championships. We took on the Kansas City Coyotes in the NFC championship game and I thought we had a fighting chance to be honest. We only finished the regular season with one more loss than the Coyotes and beat them twice in the regular season so I thought we had a 50/50 shot at beating them in Kansas City. Those penalties got the best of us though and we had 9 of them for 98 yards which is crazier than a bullbat I tell ya. Now personally, I had one of the best games in my career and I was happy to finish with a 103.3 QB rating. I still showed how I was a top QB even though I didn’t have the fancy training like some of the other guys and it was my rookie season. I finished 21 of 28 passes! It’s a dran shame to lose though and we got into a big hole early on while Kansas City racked up points each quarter. We managed to get the defense to wake up in the fourth quarter but by then it was way too late for me to get anything going.

Quarterback Matchup
So I want to focus on the NFC championship game in the DSFL again because it was a great battle for me to go against Luke Boechler. He’s a send down with way better attributes than me and way more development time and he had way more going for him across the board including better receivers. I did end the game better than him though by a big margin if I do say so myself. Not only did I pass 45 yards more than Boechler, I went 21 for 28 completions and he had an awful 14 of 31. He had one interception too! The Coyotes had a great run game though so they didn’t need Boechler to be that great for them to win the game. Having Danielsson as a send down and a better receiving group than me gave the Coyotes a bigger advantage in this game. I think we’d win this one if it weren’t for the send downs and penalties to be honest. When it comes to being the best quarterback in the league, look no further than the real deal Caleb McCoy. I did way better than a send down in Boechler and I’m still here trying to get better every day.

Enemies Happen
Now I wouldn’t say I had enemies in the league but I definitely had a big chip on my shoulder to try and prove to all the other quarterbacks in the DSFL that I was better. I already wrote about my matchup against Boechler so I won’t get into that too much if you read that already. It’s obvious that I was the better quarterback all season long and I beat him statswise in our NFC matchup even though I didn’t have as much talent on my team. The Marshals had Wozy and he’s been awful pretty much all season even though he’s been a DSFL quarterback for a long time. He had 13 for 23 and 98 yards with 1 interception in the SFC championship game and it’s a wonder how they managed to win over the Luchadores. I don’t have any Texas beef with Metaxas either, but I know that I did better than him too in the playoffs. He had a good 171 yards but that team has never won an Ultimini with Metaxas. It was Falconi who was the responsible for their wins so make no mistake. Metaxas is as washed up as Wozy is and both aren’t going to make it in the DSFL or anywhere. Ya’ll can suck on that any day.

Going to Disneyland!
I’m going to shift gears to talk about the NSFL since I watched some of that live and it wasn’t half bad to be honest. I wouldn’t say I’m a big fan of the Otters but I did appreciate them drafting my older brother and it was fun to watch them put an old fashioned whoopin’ on the Hawks. I also look up to Gus Showbiz and he was the Ultimus MVP in that game. His stat line had me hootin’ and hollerin’ even though I was trying to hold back a bit. Showbiz went 31 for 54 and 459 yards! That’s the most I think I’ve seen since playing! His 5 touchdowns and only 1 pick was a great sight to see. Just when I thought he was done, he kept slinging that ball in the third quarter. You could tell Showbiz was planning his Disneyland trip already because he put on the Mickey Mouse ears before the end of the fourth. I think he looks like a big thrill seeker so he probably went on a lot of rollercoaster rides and maybe the tea cup ride at Disneyland. I haven’t been in awhile so I can’t recall all the fun rides, but I bet Showbiz rode the Materhorn for sure.

[Molarpistols]

1) IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR - Can be completed anytime
Written: Write 200 words on your team and either why they should be looked at as Ultimus champions this season, or if your team has been eliminated, next year, or the year after for those non-believers.

In his third season at the NSFL level (after spending an extra season in the DSFL), Gus T.T. Showbiz has finally earned what he has desired since he was young. He, along with his teammates on the Orange County Otters have hoisted the Ultimus trophy after defeating the Baltimore Hawks 48-24. The game ended in an absolute shellacking of the Hawks, after the Otters had also sufficiently shellacked the San Jose Sabercats in the ASFC Championship game to earn the trip to the Ultimus.

These two games alone show exactly why the Otters are the Champions for this year. The exact power of this team is only just coming into fruition however, and I think that NEXT year (s13) could very well also be their year. The offense remains intact, returning all the hefty role-players from the year before and they look to remain an offensive juggernaut. The defense will lose a couple long-time studs along the defensive front, but they'll be able to bring some hungry young bodies up from the DSFL to continue their dominance.

Did anybody say repeat? The Otters look strong for many seasons to come, with Showbiz in tip-top shape and still not hitting regression for quite some time we may be looking at another Otters Dynasty.

Code:

212

2) SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH - Can be completed anytime
Written: Write 200 words on one of the players in this year's Ultimus Week that are Season 10 or newer and spotlight on how they can affect this year's Ultimus. (Or have affected)

The Orange County Otters boast an offensive juggernaut, with possibly the best wide receiver corps in the league. Carlito Crush and Tegan Atwell are monsters in the passing game with Gus T.T. Showbiz slinging the heat all over the field. Runningback Ricky Adams helps out quite a bit as well, using his speed to create mismatches all over the field, including split wide on occasion.

What you may not expect though, is how good the young Sunnycursed is turning out to be. The Season 11 product has remained a steady hand in the passing game for the Otters, allowing a healthy rotation to keep everybody fresh well into the fourth quarter, and into the long season and playoffs.

In the ASFC Championship, he proved a reliable chain-mover, catching 6 passes for 55 yards. He may not have scored any touchdowns that night, but he was a threat that had to be considered. The Otters would go on to win with a score of 35-10, no doubt because of a healthy dose of spreading the ball around, including to Sunnycursed.

In the Ultimus, Sunnycursed went absolutely ballistic, along with the rest of the Otters offense. By volume, he was tied for the games leading receiver, tying with Crush and Atwell at 6 catches apiece. Sunnycursed was magic in the redzone, catching two touchdowns in an absolute trouncing of the Hawks 48-24. He also tacked on 99 yards in that game, showing that he truly is a young stud.

Code:

247

3) PRE-GAME or...POST-GAME - Can be completed before or after based on choice.
Written: Write a 200-word preview or review on one of the Conference Championship Games or Ultimus Games.

The Orange County Otters made their way back to familiar territory in Season 12. After making it to the Ultimus Championship game in four consecutive seasons from Season 4 through Season 7, the Otters finally made their way back.

At the helm this time, was young QB Gus T.T. Showbiz. All-time Otters great Mike Boss was watching from the stands as his successor continued to show the strong QB play that is expected of the Otters. Lifelong Otter Angus Winchester was showing up to his last game. The seasoned veteran wanted to end his career on a high note.

Young WR Sunnycursed started off the scoring for the Otters, but the Hawks soon pulled it back to a tie. Soon after, they took the lead on a TD by Antonio Summer. Two quick touchdowns before the half, with a corresponding field goal by the Hawks put the score at 20-17.

After the half, the Otters came to work, putting up 4 consecutive scores to put the game nearly out of reach. Just for fun it seems, Showbiz threw a garbage-time interception that was returned for a touchdown to earn his 6th touchdown of the game. Shame it only counts as 5, since those were the ones to his team.

Code:

209

4) QUARTERBACK MATCHUP - Can be completed anytime
Written: Write 200 words on one of the QB matchups in this year's playoffs. What are you most excited to see (Or excited to have seen), who will play better (Or who played better), etc.


The Ultimus Game was looking like it would be a hard-fought battle with two exceptional quarterbacks at the helm of their respective teams.

Childish Gambino, the signal-caller of the Hawks posted the highest QB rating during the regular season of anyone in the NSFL. Meanwhile, Otters QB Gus T.T. Showbiz posted a respectable QBR of 84. They had similar production in terms of yards, but Showbiz threw more touchdowns, and interceptions.

All of that in mind, this was shaping up to be a duel for the ages. What actually happened though, was Gus T.T. Showbiz coming out guns blazing and absolutely smoking the Baltimore Hawks.

Showbiz posted a nearly all-time record game in the Ultimus, throwing for 459 yards and 5 touchdowns. FIVE touchdowns! The massive 108.5 QB rating he posted in the game put poor Gambino to shame.

The Hawks were simply outmatched and Gambino was unable to do much to help. He posted a pedestrian 225 yards over 24 completions for a single touchdown and a QBR of 86. The only thing he really did to help his team was not turn the ball over, he didn't throw an interception.

Two of the leading quarterbacks in the entire league clashed. Gus T.T. Showbiz left unbloodied a champion.

Code:

209

[tlk742]

IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR
For the San Jose Sabercats this mantra has been with them, for eons. This year probably stung worse than usual as the team that rocks my logo as the stars started off aligning. The NSFC reverted to its usual place where the teams they throw up cannot stand up to the ASFC and the Cats started off facing zero defeats. Home field Advantage was theirs to lose with 6 games left on the season and a clean sheet and loss column. And lose they did. The Sabercats managed to drop four of the next six games losing them their homefield advantages and their strongest case yet that the ultimus was theirs. But then why next year? Sure, they lost Bayley but that’s really it. The team is young, the regression is little and the roster is poised to take the Ulitmus, the Otters are good, but with Crush in regression and Atwell gone, the Orange County Otters will not be as formidable as they were in years past. With Christ now as the only other young and active QB, the Sabercats are looking at an even stronger case to take it all, if their defense remains stout, then they got this. Now, they just have to hope they don’t choke again.

Enemies Happen
Fuck San Jose. Yeah I’m playing both sides, don’t care. I legit have a complaint, so @ckroyal92, listen up. I fucking worked my ass off for that team, I frigging played my heart out, I worked hard for the Cats for season upon season. I helped us stay alive, and helped convince Muford and Dan to take roles that helped the team immensely both externally (dan) and internally (muford). I helped come up with the cool logo that we use today, I under the table paid players by media, including yourself, so we could stay competitive and when we needed a running back I stepped up. I retired at the same as Shane Weston and one of us gets inducted into the ring of honor. I don’t want my numbers (seventeen, sixty nine, and twenty one) retired, but I want to get inducted into the ring of honor. I get that all my records, and accolades are and will remain in New Orleans. That touchdown record will never be broken, but that’s ok. I am still a Sabercat at heart with Darren Smallwood. And yet, I get no recognition, kind of stings man. So warn your cornerbacks, and warn San Jose General, the burn ward is about to get a lot busier in two seasons.

Going to Disneyland
Gus T.T. Showbiz put on a clinic against the Hawks. It’s clear he’s the MVP and he’s the only choice here. While he passed the ball an absurd 54 times, he threw dime upon dime. Here’s the three, three otters players had over 100 offensive yards, and Showbiz made a huge percentage of that, finding 5 people for touchdowns and getting the Ball to Crush on 3rd down and keeping the drive going 50 percent of the time. If that is not successful glorlyball I don’t know what is. Yes, he had a pick, but had to, in order to lure the Hawks into a false sense of security. Showbiz was dominant that game, because the Hawks knew that to stop him, they needed to stop the Pass, despite MVP award winner Ricky Adams, and Showbiz showed them that it was all bark and no bite. I’m running out of platitudes, but man did Showbiz play well, I’m excited to have him as my Quarterback when I get called up. Let’s see, Showbiz also was benefited by a line that gave up a total of two sacks, so his light on the feet approach helped him overcome the threat that was Childish Gambino.

PBE

[bovovovo]

IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR

The New Orleans Second Line are the actual winners of the Ultimus this year because actually we (the new orleans second line) were the best team in the national simulation football league yes there I said it it's out there I know it you nkow it the fans know it the players know it everybody knows it that if you disregard silly illogical things like records you will clearly see that the New orleans second line were the best team in the league from an analytical perspective just stop falling into strawmen fallacies you neanderthals and realize that when you disregard your cognitive biases and preconceived notions and dissonances you will realize that actually when you decide to be logical about the situation and apply elementary level analytics you will come to find that objective the new orleans second line were the best team in the national simulation football league last year and thus should have been the ultimus winners. for that reason the new orleans second line claim the ultimus trophy and it is a logical claim unlike 200 word requirements for ulimtus week 200 words is absurd and a strawmen argument so you can just stop with all the fallacies alright this is a place of logic only so stop with the strawmen and let me write less than 200 words it's less logical than claiming the new orleans second line were the best team.

[[237]]

POST GAME

The orange county otters won the game and that was a big win they did a good job and that is why they won the game there were a few players that did a good job on their team some of these players include showbiz and zephyrous and adams and lumbrugh and waddams and bolton and nagheenajar and gibbons and bigboy6969 and fuller5 and helanen and sunnycursed and atwell and crush and omega and rice and bly jr and king and spector and brown and enchant and ramero and clegane and sierra and bagwell and spaghetti and winchester and broxton and meyer and grithead and anderson and puntbot yes these players all did a good job and so they won the game that is why they won the game because showbiz and zephyrous and adams and lumbrugh and waddams and bolton and nagheenajar and gibbons and bigboy6969 and fuller5 and helanen and sunnycursed and atwell and crush and omega and rice and bly jr and king and spector and brown and enchant and ramero and clegane and sierra and bagwell and spaghetti and winchester and broxton and meyer and grithead and anderson and puntbot all did a very good job during the game and all the other games yes those were some good boys right there they did a good job.

[[221]]

ENEMIES HAPPEN

who is my biggest enemy you ask me well I will tell you my biggest enemy is whoever decided we had to write 200 whole words for every single ultimus week task and that person is none other than @iamslm22 aka avon blocksdale aka stupid idiot that's right 200 words is insane and this is a hill I will gladly die on who do you think you are making me write 200 words multiple times over and over and over and over and over and over and over again 5 times no wait actually just 4 times that's not too bad it's just 800 words actually I lied that's absurd who do you think you are making me write 800 words how do you live with yourself how do you sleep at night what gives you the right making me write 800 whole words I've never written that much in my life also I'm am minor so this is like child slavery which is illegal so there you have it now my dad who is in the FBI is gonna come get you and my other dad works for microsoft is gonna hunt you down so good job ya dork hope you're happy hope these 210 words were worth it.

[[210 words]]


PBE http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/ind...indpost&p=55402

[GoonerBear]

1) IT IS OUR TIME (NEXT) YEAR

Written: Write 200 words on your team and either why they should be looked at as Ultimus champions this season, or if your team has been eliminated, next year, or the year after for those non-believers.

The San Jose SaberCats, for the first time since Season 6, qualified for playoffs on the back of a mighty defensive unit and a maturing offensive squad who will only come back better next season. In the first half of the season, San Jose defeated every opponent while only allowing a total of 98 points. The back stretch was much rougher, true, and the Cats entered playoffs on a 2-4 ending run, though even in there, there were close contests we could have snatched. The playbooks and strategies should be wider open next season with our core growing older and bolder.

With Jerrod Canton only getting better from his impressive rookie season and Joliet Christ coming into his own in the pocket, Xavier Flash and Kazimir Oles starring in the wideout corps, a studded defense holding firm and stars who could still break out with the right push, we have enough to make a run for playoffs next season. So long as we can keep most of our key stars, it should remain reasonable to expect to return to playoffs and push again for the franchise's first Ultimus appearance. We've gone in on the "win now" mentality, having traded high draft stock to secure the Penningtons last offseason.

2) SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH

Written: Write 200 words on one of the players in this year's Ultimus Week that are Season 10 or newer and spotlight on how they can affect this year's Ultimus. (Or have affected)

Sunnycursed, wide receiver for the Orange County Otters, had a stellar performance in the Ultimus. Though he was not quite as pronounced in his postseason debut, the Otters' 35-10 victory over the SaberCats in the ASFC Championship Game, making 6 catches for 55 yards compared to Carlito Crush's 6 for 133 yards and a touchdown, he had quite a prominent place in their offense in the title match against the Baltimore Hawks.

Sunnycursed made much more of his 6 receptions in the Ultimus, gaining 99 yards and scoring two touchdowns with a the longest going for 59 yards in the Otters' 48-24 victory. Third in yards for the team, and the rookie ran off a career-making play that was a yard shy of cementing at least a small place in the legacy of the NSFL Championship. Scoring two other times on the day still gave him plenty to crow about. We may have witnessed the beginnings of a wideout star in the making from this contest and a future number one in the organization with his seniors in regression. He made plenty of noise in a game where the Otters restaked their place atop the mountain, and he still has plenty of time to rack up more records and more rings for a potential resurgent dynasty.

3) POST-GAME

Written: Write a 200-word preview or review on one of the Conference Championship Games or Ultimus Games.

The only tight contest of playoffs and it went down to overtime, the NSFC Championship Game between the Philadelphia Liberty and the Baltimore Hawks was a tense contest to behold. No one was ever more than 10 points adrift in a showdown between two struggling teams, yet was compelling as the winner could have still managed an upset over the ASFC titlists.

The old and bold Owen Taylor opened scoring with a touchdown run capping off the Hawks' first drive, eight plays and converting two third downs. After two exchanges of possession, Philadelphia ground out a drive for almost five minutes to end the first quarter, finishing with a pass from Adriana Falconi to Jordan von Matt for 18 yards. In the middle of the second, the Hawks converted a turnover off Falconi to a six-play drive ending with Childish Gambino, the DE convert to QB, hitting wideout Vinny Valentine for the go-ahead. Baltimore would stretch that lead a little further on a 47-yard field goal, taking a two-score lead into the half after the Liberty failed to convert their own try from 42.

Philly needed a drive, though they pulled back within a TD pass from Falconi to Carter Bush. They would finally tie again with Kulture Fulture convering a field goal from 27. With an early exchange of touchdowns in the fourth, the remaining time ran out, though with plenty of tension. In what thankfully turned out a fair overtime, the Liberty took possession first, went three and out and never touched the ball again, with the Hawks grinding out a 14-play drive for 85 yards, ending with Gambino returning the Hawks to the title bout after hitting Taylor for a one-yard game winner.

4) QUARTERBACK MATCHUP

Written: Write 200 words on one of the QB matchups in this year's playoffs. What are you most excited to see (Or excited to have seen), who will play better (Or who played better), etc.

The QB matchup I was most excited to have seen was in the NSFC Championship between Adriana Falconi for the Philadelphia Liberty and Childish Gambino of the Baltimore Hawks. Gambino had provided a quick turnaround solution as their former quarterback, Avon Blocksdale, moved off to cornerback for his swan song. In the one tight contest of playoffs, the QB showdown was just as fiercely contested. Gambino came out ahead in the end, however, with the edges in the contest proving considerable.

Gambino went 26/43 on the night for 332 yards and 3 touchdowns for a 107.9 rating. His turnover-free passing gave a slight edge in that department in a contest that ultimately was settled in overtime. He additionally rushed 3 times for 24 yards. While his accuracy could have been better, even his errors did not turn so far for the worst.

Falconi's line ended 21/35 for 264 yards, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception for a 99.7 rating. The one turnover came back in the second quarter, which the Hawks turned into seven points in short order. Falconi was approximately as accurate as Gambino and rushed 5 times for another 20 yards.

Both had plenty of running back support as well, which helped somewhat in the passing game. Gambino had the benefit of two backs, Owen Taylor and Antonio Summer, in a solid pair while Falconi had a solid bellcow to turn to in Marquise Brown, who led all rushers on the night. Both could have hit better passes to take advantage of these rushing performances, though both have plenty in the offseason to build upon.

[iseedoug]

IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR

The clear contender for next seasons Ultimus is the San Jose Sabercats. With the surprising jump in wins this season due to the strategy changes and aggressive trading, many expected they would at least compete in the big game this season. But, in an aggressive and smart reaction, the Orange County Otters made mid season trade to upgrade their secondary, which ultimately made the Otters the better team (I am sure some extra time in preparing strategies also helped). However, next season, it's the Sabercats. First, the champion Otters are losing several key players on the squad. While they certainly will still be one of the more talented teams in the league, the retirement and regression of some of their older members should help the young Sabercats. Second, the up and coming Arizona Outlaws lost their franchise QB to retirement. This came as a shock to many, as Kevin Fitzpatrick was really setting into his role in Arizona, and proving to be one of the next all-star QBs. Not only does Arizona lose their franchise guy, but the league losses a valuable and active member (for reasons that still confuse me). Arizona can certainly draft a young QB, but everyone knows the NSFL is tough on young QBs, who typically only produce worthwhile stats after a couple seasons. Lastly, after a week 1 blow out, NOLA immediately started an aggressive rebuild, trading away older key players, (like my dude beaver). If this rebuild trend continues, it should help an SJS squad that should have a very similar roster to this season.

[CDub2]

1. PBE

2. IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR

This is a tough one. Because I don't necessarily think that the Wraiths are going to be in the finals next year. We will be better, yes, but in the finals? That's a little ambitious. I think this core is 2 years away from competing. And that's tough to watch because Cameron Taylor only has one or two more seasons in his career left. Well at least while he's still relatively effective. Its disappointing to never be able to compete again probably, but the journey Cameron Taylor has been on with this one of a kind organization has been great. He doesn't want to play a second of football for anyone else right now. As for the future, the offense might finally be the strength of this team. If Applehort can survive for a bit while all our running backs and wide receivers progress, this offense will be nasty in two years. The defence will be okay next year and the year after that with the corpses of Dermot and Taylor still sticking around. We need a litle LB help and secondary to replace Taylor and the defence will be fine. Not to mention, I heard a CDub2 recreate is coming soon after Taylor's retirement.

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3. SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH

Marc Spector of the Orange County Otters is looking like a fine football specimen. He came out of the DSFL as a speedster corner back, but has nicely progressed into a shutdown corner for the defending Ultimus champs. The S11 stud of the draft was luckily snagged up by the Otters late, but is now one of their highest TPE secondary players. And CBs are such a huge part of the defence in this sim. And it shows. In the Ultimus finals, Spector managed to collect 4 tackles to go along with his forced fumble and a recovered fumble. Pretty much just as good as a pick. So somewhere along the line of shutting down Baltimore's wide outs, he created a turnover. That pretty incredible for a player that has only been in the league for 2 seasons. Looking ahead, it's not like the secondary is getting worse for Orange County. The Otters have a ton of <3 year pro secondary players coming up so that D is only getting better. And that's the scary part. Orange County Otters are not getting worse after winning the Ultimus, they might even be getting better. But everyone else is getting worse for the most part.

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4. ENEMIES HAPPEN

Well, writing this now, it seems pointless to pick this player but I hope Mason Brown, the linebacker for the Orange County Otters does poorly in this year's playoffs. Now there are a few Orange County Otters that I could choose from, like Danny Grithead or Tegan Atwell. Danny Grithead is easy. Everyone hates Trautner. Jokes, I love Trautner. He's the best and I hope he enjoys it there. Tegan Atwell is a past Yellowknife player and was cast off in the offseason two years ago by the Otters and we took her in with a huge contract. You would think that would count for something but she immediately split back to OCO at the first chance. But Mason Brown is the issue here. There's a rising pandemic in free agency in this league. Players declaring as free agents in order to scout other teams and get the inside scoop for their GMs only to return to their original team on a minimum deal. This is not free agency. This is collusion and bad faith. Happened with Mason Brown two years ago and has just happened again this offseason with the likes of Achilles Hondo and Fyodorovich. I get the reasoning, and I'm not guilt free as Cameron Taylor has had pretty low contract demands, but at least I don't pretend to be a free agent just for intel.

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[Ryan0413]

PBE PT affiliation

[Bigred1580]

1) IT IS OUR TIME (NEXT) YEAR

This season, the Tijuana Luchadores fell short of reaching the DSFL Ultimus finals for the first time since season 6. They had a strong season going in to the playoffs, having won their division. However, they fell to rival San Antonio Marshalls in the SFL Conference Finals, 13 to 7. This leads the team with a bitter taste in their mouths heading into the upcoming off season. In addition, this offseason is bringing about a lot of changes for the Luchadores. Both nunccoepi and iseedoug are stepping down after a long reign of strong leadership. They are being replaced by Payton and Ben, who both bleed black and red. Our team looks forward to the direction that they are leading our team into the future.
The Tijuana Luchadores have a strong chance to repeat as next years conference champions and head towards an Ultimus championship. Our roster is built for the playoffs and we will have some of our star players back when send down lists are entered. Additionally, we have a strong system in place to continue our success. Our team is built on a strong run game and defense, and a few changes to the roster and solid scouting by our new GMs will set us up for long term success.

2) SPOTLIGHT ON THE YOUTH


There is a new weapon this year on the Tijuana Luchadores this season entering the Ultimus Week. That weapon is Nate Swift, the rookie wide receiver out of the University of Nebraska. This former Cornhusker has a great career ahead of him and looks to begin with a standout performance in this years DSFL Ultimus. Swift is the complete package. Although known mostly as a smooth route runner, Swift has the speed and the hands to be involved in any situation. He is a matchup nightmare.

Swift was an undrafted free agent this season, joining the Luchadores after the preseason had already been completed. It took him a few weeks to get into the playbook and develop chemistry with the Luchadores star QB, Andreas Metaxas. Tijuana had been looking for a threat to go along with starting wide out, Roger Batoff. Swift will prevent opposing defenses from being able to shift their coverage and take away Batoff. This will open up the offence and help create explosive plays. Look for Swift to be a rising star in this league, and he plans on using the Ultimus to break out in preparation for next season’s NSFL draft. Whoever picks him up will be getting a future game changer in this league.

3) POST-GAME

The Tijuana Luchadores (9-5) took on the San Antonio Marshalls (5-9) in the season 12 SFC conference championships. The Luchadores entered the contest as heavy favorites, having made the DSFL Ultimus every season since season 6. In their four contests earlier in the season, Lucha had defeated the Marshalls 3 times, with their only loss being a road loss in the second to last game of the season. However, it was not to be, with the Marshalls upsetting Tijuana 13-7.

This low scoring contest started off slowly. The Marshalls managed a field goal on their second drive but Lucha answered with a 77-yard touchdown drive capped off with a 16-yard reception from leading receiver Roger Batoff. That turned out to be the only score of the game for Tijuana. The Marshalls eventually responded with another field goal and a touchdown in the third quarter, which was enough for the victory. The Luchadores could only blame themselves for the defeat. They couldn’t capitalize on a third quarter turnover, and they missed two field goals. Both were lengthened by a penalty and a sack shortly before the attempts. Their offence was held to under 300 total yards in the matchup. The Marshalls will move on to face Kansas City in the DSFL Ultimus and Lucha must wait till next year to return to the finals.


5) ENEMIES HAPPEN

Johnny Snuggles is going to struggle in the DSFL Ultimus Playoffs. Especially if he faces off against Nate Swift. Snuggles doesn’t have the technique to handle such an accomplished route runner, with the speed and the hands to leave him in the dust. Additionally, Snuggles struggles (see what I did there) with both man and zone coverage. I’m not even sure if he knows the defensive playbook. He is looking so far forward into the upcoming NSFL draft that he isn’t even aware of what is going on in the DSFL this season. Talk about a guy who is the opposite of a team player. In contrast, Nate Swift is so happy to be in the DSFL right now that he is giving his all every game. Once in the NSFL, he will do the same.

There are a lot of reasons why I want Johnny Snuggles to go down in the playoffs. First off, he hates puppies. He absolutely hates them. I once showed him a puppy and asked him to pet it and he tried to punt that dog. Good thing he has such weak legs, because the puppy wasn’t even hurt, but it made me sad. Plus, a little kid was watching and when she started to cry he stole her lollipop. What a terrible person.

[JBLAZE_THE_BOSS]

IT IS OUR TIME THIS (NEXT) YEAR

While this season did not end the way that the Portland Pythons would have preferred, they do have some positives to look forward to for S13. The disgusting, good for nothing, delinquent, festering franchise known as the Kansas City Coyotes got lucky and beat the Pythons in the Conference Championship game 21-16, but this will probably never happen again. The Pythons will have their QB and TE star combination returning next year with one full off season under their belt and chemistry at an all-time high. This team of course won the Ultimini in S11, and there is a bright outlook for them to do it again in S13. Ancillary offensive pieces like Lucius Kaine and Corey Trevor means that the Pythons will have an absolute juggernaut offensively and will be ready to wreak havoc on the competition. The Pythons are going to need to score as many points as they can, because there will be some turnover on defense. Losing Pecker Cox and Tommy Salami may be an area for improvement, but with such a stacked offense, it will allow the front office to recruit exclusively for defense. The Portland championship pipeline looks to run through the Earth of Oregon and leave a trail of tears in their wake.
[210]

PRE-GAME or...POST-GAME

The NFC Championship Game between the Portland Pythons and Kansas City Coyotes was a miscarriage of justice and should not be considered legitimate by any ruling body of the DSFL. However, as it currently stands, the Coyotes won the game 21-16. The Coyotes were barely able to scrape by and almost saw their fluke disappear but unfortunately the Pythons ran out of time to take what is rightfully theirs. The game began with shenanigans after Caleb McCoy was sacked for a “safety” that was met with some controversy on the field. McCoy was ruled to be in the grasp of the defender, but upon further examination, he clearly was not. As this particular ruling cannot be challenged on the field, the Pythons found themselves in a situation that was unjust and not right. Kansas City, as fate would have it, marched the ball down field and scored a touchdown but their bum kicker couldn’t hit the extra point. A few minutes later the same bum kicker got a field goal and before they knew it, the Pythons were losing by 11. They mustered three field goals from Roderick Castleberry and a touchdown from Caleb McCoy to Lucius Kaine, but it was not enough to overcome the rigged officials and sneaky ways of the Coyotes.

[214]

ENEMIES HAPPEN

For my hatred to be concentrated to only one person is a ridiculous request. Truth be told, I hate everyone who is not on my team. If I had to choose one player though, I would go with Jake Verden. He has the audacity to play for the Kansas City Coyotes, and I hate them more than any other team. Verden is the type of guy who gets picked on the entire game and gets passes defended based on volume because he is seen as weak and vulnerable on the grid iron. Hopefully this guy comes back again next season so Johnny Blaze can run train on him like a lot lizard who lives in a Motel Six. Verden, as far as I’m concerned, doesn’t have the fortitude to come back. He doesn’t have the guts to put the uniform back on. He doesn’t have the grit to put on that helmet, slide on those cleats, and get burned by Blaze. When I think of nickel cornerbacks that I want to destroy, Jake Verden is the first man who comes to mind. He is such a movable piece that he may not even be noticed if a missing persons report was filed on his behalf. Run away Jake, it’s better that way.

[212]

QUARTERBACK MATCHUP

The quarterback matchup in the NFC Championship Game only cements the fact that the game was an absolute farce and should be taken with a grain of salt. If you are pathetic enough to affiliate yourself with the Kansas City Coyotes or call yourself a fan of them, you should know that your Ultimini Championship is tainted. Caleb McCoy had the phantom safety called against him but besides that, he outshined Luke Boechler in every single way. McCoy completed 21 of 28 pass attempts. Boechler the bum was a paltry 14 of 31. Luke passed for a pathetic 145 yards. McCoy was able to sling the pigskin for 180 perfect spiral yards. McCoy and Boechler both had a touchdown each, which of course was only because the referees gifted the Coyotes the ball after the ridiculous safety call to start the game. Luke the liability added an interception on top of the worst quarterback sundae anyone has ever had the displeasure of consuming. In case you were not yet convinced of the all-time fluke this game was, McCoy had a QB rating of a station with a strong FM signal—103.3. Luke Boechler is the AM Radio of quarterbacks, and that was proven by his 56.5 QB Rating. You can’t even find this guy on the dial.

[217]