(S20) - PT1 - Rookie Mentor

[Sermokala]

If I was a rookie mentor for a day I would start by opressingly flexing on them. I would sit them down in a room facing the wall I would then sit on the other side of the room sipping juice. the first thing I would mentor on them is not having the patience to take what they want. I would wait there and no talk until they got up and asked me why I had them watching the wall. The wall is important but they need to learn that just doing what they are told or what they are expected to do is enough. They must exert and rise above where they are placed to succeed. I really hope this doesn't take long because next up we've got lunch. This is going to be steamed broccoli done in twelve different ways. It is a well-known footballer tradition for the only meal that they can eat before an afternoon game is steamed broccoli. I don't know 100% why but its proved to be almost impossible to make someone sick before a game. This would be the lesson of how you need to sacrifice what you want to get what you need, and that victory is all they need. The rest of the day we'd watch tape and breakdown what we see and what I think he should look for. The little things mostly, the way that someone brings up their hands when they see someone trying to get by them vs when someone is trying to go through them.

[SabaDonutMan]

It’s time for Saba’s Crash Course in the NSFL. This guide will help you get familiarized with the league, so let's begin. The first step in my training is to learn about the different parts of the forum. When I first joined the league I felt overwhelmed by all the different things to click on the forum. That is why I want new players to become used to the forums so they will be able to enjoy it and not feel overwhelmed. The second step to my training is getting an update page up and running. One of the most difficult parts for new rookies to understand is updating. I would help them make a good looking update page and help them put their first update in. So far, we’ve helped them learn about the forums and helped them get their first update in. Next up, I would teach my rookie about all the different ways to earn money. Media, Twitter, League Jobs, the whole shebang. Another key thing I will teach my rookie is how the league works. I would teach them about DSFL, NSFL, call ups, etc… Hopefully after learning all these different parts to the league my rookie would be ready to go out and become the best in the league.

[AlexF]

PBE

[White Cornerback]

Written Option: This past rookie class was large, and with more recruitment looming, another large class is possibly on the horizon. You’ve volunteered to mentor one of the rookies for a day to show them the ins and outs of being an NSFL player. Describe what you have planned for that day.

I would not volunteer to mentor a rookie for a day since it's online babysitting but for the sake of this task let's say I would. Instead of doing what pretty much everybody else would do and invite them to check out all the basics of the league, I'm going to go a step further. I'ma invite them to my super secret undercover discord server where we thrash people around the league but the only condition is that they are NOT allowed to take screenshots and expose me to the public. Should they decide to follow these conditions then we will approach it as normal.

I will then direct him to any NSFL or DSFL team server to check the channel where everybody posts the answers to trivia and pastes them in a message instead of looking up the answer and checking history, what the trivia task was in the first place designed for.

After that we will then proceed to move to the twitter payout thread because like highly respected user raven pointed out, u can scam the system here and make freaking billions of dollars in 24 hours! Anyway that would pretty much conclude my guidance day for the rookie mentors. I hope you guys now decide to hire me as a highly esteemed rookie mentor., thank you.

[Frostbite]

I like to put my players, who are true and complete rookies, through what I like to call the Frost Tests. First, I put them on a one versus eleven against the Norfolk team, and if they win, they pass that trial. But if they only win by 5 points or less, or lose, they fail the trial, and their rookie preparation course ends. One particular rookie who failed this course was Jeffery LaVert, who hyped himself up to be the best rookie ever, but he only managed to win by 3, which was abysmal, so I forced him to do 420 pushups. However while LaVert failed, other rookies succeeded, one of which was Douglas Quail, the offensive lineman. He was able to bully the Seaboat dogs to 3 points, and scored 50 points while hiking the ball to himself. Needless to say, I was beaming with pride. In addition to bullying Norfolk, I also make the rookies go to Tijuana and beat their best fighter (luchadore) in a wrestling match. Jack Marnette beat one of the better players from Mexico, Avacodos Frim Texico, in a 1v1 match, and even made one of his favorite fans, who happened to be holding a Bagel at the time, leave the arena and move to Myrtle Beach. The final test of the Frost Tests has the players going to Portland Oregon on a hunt through the woods to search for snakes. However, there were no pythons on the Portland preservers, and every member of Myrtle Beach failed the Frost Test on that one. Nearly every single player did manage to pass the trials at 50% or better however. The only rookie that failed was first round draft pick Jeffery LaVert. That was very disappointing for me to see, as his teacher in this rookie exercise. Those are how I would teach my players, and rookies on how to master the DSFL, and the league as a whole.

[Fordhammer]

Nacho Varga does not have time to mentor rookies, usually. He sees them mostly as a waste of time given the high turnover of them once they are drafted. However, if the right player came along, he would consider it, at least. Nacho would start with a long power point presentation on what it means to be a player in the NSFL. This would be very detailed and almost exhaustive. He would pull from numerous sources, do a ton of interviews with current and past players as well to get a broader perspective.

After the presentation, Nacho would take them out for lunch. This would not be optional, and it would of course include Los Pollos Hermanos. Nacho owns several locations and would just choose one nearest to where the presentation was given. Nacho would choose their meal for them, and let them pay for it for a bit of hazing.

After the nice meal, Nacho would round things out with a 1 on 1 basketball game. Any of these players can catch a football, but Nacho likes to see if they can play a sport that doesn't necessarily play to their strengths.

You probably wouldn't love Nacho as a mentor, but if absolutely forced to he would give it his all, at least for a short period of time.

[timeconsumer]

You really think Cooter is going to waste his time to work with a rookie? The greatest quarterback in the NSFL has far more important things to do with his time and can't possibly be bothered by some rook who doesn't know how to open his locker or where the damn bathroom is. You want someone to show the new kid around, go get a damn intern to do it. Or get one of those special teams dudes. Don't bother your damn starting quarterback with that bullshit. And don't get me started on the whole "Sit and learn" bullshit. You bring in a new quarterback you gonna have to teach the kid. I'm not teaching someone trying to steal my god damn job. If he's your QB of the future that's gonna be because you taught him, not me. He can hold my damn tablet and give it to me when I ask for it at practice. That's as close as he's gonna get to 1st team reps as long as I'm around. Maybe go get me a cup of water. Mentoring rookies, y'all are a joke coming in here asking me something like that. I got film to watch so go find someone else and shut the damn door behind you.

[run_CMC]

Hello, and welcome to Colorado! I'm excited to show you the ins and outs of being a National Simulation Football League player here at the Yeti's facilities. I'll give you a tour of course, but first let's go to the film room to discuss some general things; as soon as the season starts they fill up quick, but like, we have a lot of them. Alright, so let's start with the basics. I'm sure your agent has already gone over with you the need to join the player's union and all that. We don't have contract standards in the league like the NFL does, but there's still a lot of important safety things, and stuff like if you join and you're cut from a team, they have to pay half your salary still. I know, I know, nobody plans to be cut, but it's just taking care of yourself ya know? Injuries are rare as all hell in this league, but sometimes players just drop off, and if you're one you wanna get paid still. Moving on from that, the biggest thing is to find a team that suits you. If a team doesn't fit with where you wanna be, tell them that before the draft. And if you end up somewhere you're not happy with, it's okay to leave. Take it from me: it ain't the end of your career if you do or anything like that. Colorado's been excellent for me. Best of luck with the league! Hope to see you here in Denver with me someday.

[ScorpXCracker]

The first thing that I would do is take the tookie that I took under my wing to finner. This is mosrly because I like dinner, but also because dinner is a great time to get to know each other and also bonding iver the food that we just shared during that dinner.
I would then try and get them introduced to the rest of the team. Getting them and a good relationship with the rest of the team is super important amd can really help out on the field and could possibly help big time. Also, another benefit to getting the rookie introduced to the rest of the team can help then stay active and ot mysteriously go inactive never to be seen of again.

Out of "character" the most important thing to do to mentor someone is to make sure that they know how to do things. The site can be really confusing and daunting for the new people. Showing them links to the parts of the site and making sure that they know where to go is super important. Not knowing ehat to do is super frustrating and lots of the new people signing up for the site will go inactive because of it.