(S20) - PT3 - Celebrations

[Opera_Phantom]

It is Jay Cue's first season in the NSFL, so he obviously could not be a part of any Ultimus title celebrations. But from what he has heard from a few of his former Portland Pythons teammates that managed to win the last game of the season, the tradition is pretty damn simple: McDonald's for everyone.
Donald Trump was not the first to do it, when the White House welcomed the Clemson Tigers in early 2019 after their NCAA title. Lots of NSFL teams do exactly the same, with some of them actually going to a McDonald's building to not only enjoy their burgers and fries, but also to be able to play on the Play Place! Can you imagine a 320 pound barefoot Defensive Tackle using their amazing slides? Now imagine all 5 of the starting DTs, at the same time, after having a bunch of burgers, farting all the way down the slides. What a fun day.
McD's is one of the happiest places on earth (suck it Disney World), so when a 53 player roster, plus trainers, coaches and head office enters the building, fun is mandatory. No better way to celebrate the end of a long successful season than with burgers and slides.

(207 words)

[karl]

shl s52 pt2

[bex]

Deep under Santa Ana Stadium, home of the Orange County Otters, there lies a chamber, one that remains sealed 364 days a year. It is the day after the Ultimus that the sacred doors can be opened. By placing the Ultimus trophy on the pedestal, a mechanism is triggered, and the champions of the year may enter. This room is full of ancient wisdom, truths handed down from champion to champion, secrets said to have been whispered by the mighty sim gods themselves.

It is customary for the winning team to send a select number of players to receive information and to enjoy the splendor of this place. This most sacred tradition has previously gone unspoken, though stories have begun to emerge in recent years. One individual who would prefer to remain unnamed says that swimming in the natural hot springs in that chamber is what gave him the strength he needed to go through one more season despite intense regression. Another claimed that the feast laid out for the winners was the most delicious food he had ever consumed, though when he attempted to bring some out with him at the conclusion of his time in the chamber, the food turned to diamonds the second it passed the threshold.

Some claim that the chamber originally lived beneath Outlaw Stadium. Thes people also claim that the chamber moves locations to the home stadium of the team that has most recently won the Ultimus three times consecutively. No other NSFL team has three-peated since the Otters 2020, 2021 and 2022 triple run, so this claim is, unfortunately, unable to be proven.

There is said to be a similar chamber under the beloved stadium in Tijuana, El Santo Coliseo, that can be opened with the Ultimini trophy, though we have not been able to verify this claim. No Luchadores alumni would respond to our request for comment, and former manager Jimmy Dugan had only colorful words that are quite unfit for print.

[C9Van]

Well, I would not know about Ultimus champions that much but Lazzy would not be going to Disney. Been there, done that. No he would return back to the main cult's mansion and location with the trophy and have it placed with the other silverware of awards and achievements that other cultists have done in his own little section next to his Ultimini and have a lovely relaxing party to celebrate it.

This one weekend of celebration is all he would really do before going back to intensely work like he does once the Yeti are always eliminated to be ready for the next season. It would be the only loose tradition he would allow him but I am sure he would celebrate in those 2 days like it is 1999.

This cultist party would include a good range of people coming to celebrate the achievement of winning with our boi Lazzy. With a wide range of foods, activities and music that fits a wide range of all the different things the other wacky or crazy people like to do. The last time this happened was the last title that Clive Forty-Five won and Lazzy went to that party so it would be lovely to repeat the party that did happen when the Luchadores won back-to-back titles a few seasons ago and it was a lot of fun!

[226 words]

[HENDRIX 2.0]

Ultimus champions celebrate in a far less spectacular fashion than NFL champions do. NSFL players are not as fortunate to live the lavish life style of other professional leagues, the money just isn’t there to fly an entire team down to Disney world. For example, look at last season’s Ultimus. The Orange County Otters defeated the Yellowknife Wraiths on the road. After the game the Otters had to hop on their dilapidated orange school bus and drive the 2,700 miles back to Orange County. They damn near had to deplete half of their profits from the game on fuel! Once they got back home the team sleep walked to the nearest strip joint just in time for $1 beer night and get lap dances from some wildebeest. Just because football season ends it doesn’t mean NSFL players could just chill all offseason. Nope. The next day they have to get back to their part time jobs, such as operating the tilt-a-whirl or knives salesman. The average NSFL salary is enough to have a leaky house and beat up old Ford Pinto. For players that want to afford to heat their house in the winter or afford a pizza on Friday night, extra jobs are a necessity. (206 words)

[Ultimacomanda47]

For me, an Ultimus champion can do a lot of things: they can go on vacation to a theme park, they can go on an exotic trip to a foreign country, they can get drink copious amounts of alcohol until they can't move until the following morning, the possibilities are endless! My champion though, has one thought and one thought only after winning the sport's greatest prize: renting out an all you can eat seafood restaurant and stuffing so much shell fish and seafood into their body until its forced out of them in either the front or the back door.

Now begins the greatest question...what is the perfect choice for restaurant? It all comes down to two choices: Joe's Crab Shack and Red Lobster. Each one on their own has outstanding food, with each specializing in their name sake. The choice then comes down to who has the best "ALL YOU CAN EAT" promotion. Joe's Crab Shack has all you can eat shrimp and snow crab while Red Lobster has the world famous Endless Shrimp. Both come down to a tie considering how similar their buffets are. For me, the winner is the best name brand and I have to go with Red Lobster. Joe's Crab Shack is more of a regional name and, while still being delicious, I cannot bank on them being everywhere the Ultimus is hosted.

[MSombrero]

The Ultimini was won by the Minnesota Grey Ducks last year. This was the first year that the team had been based in Minnesota after moving from San Antonio, so rather than following old traditions the team decided to make their own. To thank the fans and state for accepting the team into their hearts and homes, the Grey Ducks organised a giant street feast in Minneapolis. Thousands of tables were setup in the city center, and the players each brought a food truck of the cuisine they most enjoyed, which they helped man as they gave out free food for the entire day. The Ultimini tropy was displayed in the middle of this mini-festival so that fans could get pictures with it. As the day drew to a close, local musicians were invited to play on a hastily built stage, and beer tents were setup by local bars to keep everyone happy. The players left their respective food trucks to join in the revelry and were quickly ushered onto stage after the musicians had performed for the beginning of some good old-fashioned Karaoke. This lasted well into the early hours of the morning, with no-one wanting to leave this celebration of not just a football win, but of an entire city. All told, there were about 200,000 from Minneapolis and the surrounding areas who turned up throughout the day. After bringing an Ultimini to the city, the Grey Ducks could finally say they were part of it.

[Murtsi]

Well we have been very close for the past two seasons and damn it we will get it this season! But we are not a multi billion dollar franchise like the NFL is (we are more of a multi trillion dollar franchise) so we are not really going to be able to do the same thing. One of the big differences is that each Ultimus winner is able to choose their own traditions and what they want to do when they win. When the Wraiths are finally able to win the Ultimus again, the first thing is that we will obviously have a parade in Yellowknife. Just like for our home games, the whole of Canada will appear for that one special day when we hold that parade. To this parade we will also invite all the other 9 teams in the NSFL, because it is nice to get to shove it in their face just a tiny bit. But that really is not the main reason why we invite them over, because after the parade, the Wraith Olympics start! Each team will provide players to compete in a range of different winter sports such as ski jumping, toboggan sledding among others, and the whole event will end in a giant snowfight, just like dodgeball from the Pro Bowl but with snowballs and such.

[TheDangaZone]

SHL PT

[rapideagle]

Being a rookie I don't have experience winning an ultimini yet but I can imagine tradition of Salsa Saturdays!