(S24) - Ultimus Week

[Nhamlet]

8) It’s always important to look forward to the future. Examine your team, and in 400 words or more, talk about how they can improve themselves to get a stab at trophy contention next year. Are you loaded with draft capital for the next draft? Do you have plenty of cap space to sign free agents? Go through the roster and note the different strengths and weaknesses, and how you think those will change over the next few seasons. How should your team adapt?

It’s kind of surreal choosing to answer this question again a season later. If I were to compare my answer from last offseason, to what has happened, it almost seems like everything that has happened has gone in the opposite direction of what I would have thought it. Then again, everything this season has gone in the opposite direction. With the expansion coming up, it’s difficult to accurately predict what the outlook of the Philadelphia Liberty would be outside of the protected players. A lot of the same things from before still apply to a degree. Overall it’s a fairly similar outlook in that the defense is fairly young in majority of spots and those youngsters are really coming into their prime at this point as regularly recognized starters on almost any team in the league. The depth of defensive backs (namely safeties in particular) is a selling point even with the aging D’Attoria, as names such as Brandon Booker, Matt Cross, Wesley Eriksen and Eugene Smoothie are all still facing very bright futures ahead of them. A huge shock in how this season turned out is that they aren’t exactly green faced rookies and were expected to take significant steps forward already but instead took a step back. A big hole was left from the departure of Warren Stephens and apparently was more significant than thought. Especially on the ground where the Liberty were 11th in the league for rushing yards against, teams continued to roll past them. Seeing them in 12th for points allowed while only being 8th overall spot in terms of yards allowed really puts into perspective the absolute unfortunate events that transpired against them. The Liberty certainly played poorly to a degree but the results always looked so much worse than it could have and maybe should have been. A lot of this feels like it would be on the shoulders of the O-Line, as stars in Brock Phoenix and Sam Torenson should be enough to make a significant impression regardless of other potential areas of deficit.It’s clear though that some of the upcoming needs include a boost on the DLine with two inactive folks sitting at a combined 480 TPE making an obvious hole. Also with stars like Torenson and Phoenix regressing, there may be a need to look at finding some potential youngsters to prepare for taking those spots in the future. The only things that they might be able to consider a long term strength for the time being is TE, the DB spots and hopefully Kicker. It sounds like the Liberty have had a bit of a “Professor of the Dark Arts” esque situation there with not having been able to find a proper replacement.

20) Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, highlights, or attempted armed robbery. Whatever rookies get up to these days.

Timmy Dimbi (@tylar) is a very young and raw prospect in the DSFL, having joined the Tijuana Luchadores after the draft as an undrafted free agent. It`s surprising to see this talent being missed as physically, there is a lot to like. For example his overall structure is at an impressive 6’4” and current 308lbs yet still is fairly light on his feet, showing that he could potentially play at the ends of the line as a pass rusher. If he is able to develop more strength to hold his own in the middle and in potential double teaming situations, then he could certainly be a force as an Interior Rusher. His start/stop ability is great when it comes to straight lines and in strict pursuit situations against pass rushers, having the explosiveness to catch slower interior linemen off guard if they aren’t ready for Dimbi’s speed. While we’ve already mentioned that he’ll have to develop some strength in order to be ISFL quality ready, it’s not so far away that he couldn’t slot in as a starter in some teams but more likely as a second interior defensive lineman. There’s also a lot of other areas that could be improved from his proactive and reactive ability in regards to recognizing the game around him as he’s been prone to a lot of encroachment penalties between wanting to take advantage of his speed but also lacking the high end awareness to time QBs’ rhythms. Dimbi also tends to fade on longer players and later in games though compared to his current peers in the DSFL, is a common weakness that can be quickly addressed without much concern.

27) Some positions are still under appreciated. Talk about the offensive linemen and/or special teamers on your squad. Show how they have contributed to the team, both on and off the field, and why they deserve recognition.

I would like to give some love to our rookie kicker Karmichael Hunt. They joined the Liberty at the same time as me in the same draft, but looks like a potential franchise kicker that the Liberty will have been looking for for quite a while. While his 92.2% accuracy for extra points made ranks him for 11th in the league, that in large part is due to the fact that the Liberty offense unfortunately couldn’t give him as many opportunities compared to other teams. His 2 misses are still better than a couple other kickers so at the very least he has been standing close to his peers. Similarly on field goal situations, Hunt had been close in numbers for majority of situations in terms of chances such as <20, 20-30,30-40 and even had 5 opportunities on 50+ situations, making 3 out of 5 attempts. The only obvious deficit was the 40+ area and with another season under his belt, I would feel confident with Hunt stepping onto the field in all ranges. I think his 26 punts inside the 20 yard zone is probably one stand out stat, showing his ability to nail teams in their end by making use of his accuracy. All the while I rave about his on the field quality, I still think the best part is his calm and easy going presence in the locker room, no matter how tough of a season it’s been.

10/10 tpe

[KoltClassic]

7) Awards season is a big part of the offseason festivities. Take the stand, in 400 words or more, for one or more players that are not your own, and argue why they should receive awards glory. They can be your teammates or anyone in the league. How did their stats and on the field contribution contribute to their case this year?

I think that current San Jose Sabercats kicker/punter ( and eventual hall of fame kicker/punter ) Matthew McDairmid should get the award for kicker and punter of the year for the ISFL. This may come as a controversial pick for the award, but I think that by going through a deep dive of the stats we can uncover the reasoning for why McDairmid is the clear-cut choice to hoist the kicker and punter of the year trophies. Looking at the index, the first statistical categories to judge kickers on are extra points made and extra points attempted. McDairmid comes in tied for fifth in extra points made at 36 and tied for fourth with 38 extra points attempted. While this does land him in a tie for sixth place apart from the three-way tie for 100% accuracy between Crisco, Prohaska, and Powers, it would be a bit unfair to only judge a kicker on one facet of their game. Being a kicker in the ISFL is more than simply just kicking extra points. It is the ability to hit leg dingers in all aspects of the game, whether it is extra points, field goals, kick offs, or punts. That being said, we should continue to look at other stats to truly understand McDairmid’s case.
Field goals are the other main facet to the kicker’s game. While these events never actually occur visually on-screen during games ( and now that I think of it, none of these kicker dots ever actually show up ), a team with an elite field-goal kicking kicker can take a team straight to the Ultimus trophy. Looking at the field goals made category, McDairmid landed tied for last with 20 field goals made. That isn’t a death sentence for his resume though. Taking a look at the field goals attempted gives us a better look at how accuracy played out this year. McDairmid ended.. 10th out of 12. Not great actually, but the elite level of talent at the kicker position has never been higher in the league. His final field goal accuracy was 87%, but that is neither here nor there are numbers never really tell the whole story. He was 12/12 for kicks below 39 yards which is pretty darn good if you ask me. His longest field goal was 47 yards, last in the league. Anyways, the man was the player of the game for the Sabercats Ultimus victory and that trumps all of the other stats from the season. McDairmid for KotY and PotY, McDairmid for MVP.


8) It’s always important to look forward to the future. Examine your team, and in 400 words or more, talk about how they can improve themselves to get a stab at trophy contention next year. Are you loaded with draft capital for the next draft? Do you have plenty of cap space to sign free agents? Go through the roster and note the different strengths and weaknesses, and how you think those will change over the next few seasons. How should your team adapt?

While the Sabercats did just come from an Ultimus-winning season 24, it would be ignorant to say that there isn’t anywhere to improve in our roster in order to find ourselves back in the position to hoist another Ultimus trophy in season 25. As one of the lower-TPE teams, we admittedly had a quite a bit of luck on our side to get to where we were able to. This is also likely why we had +900 odds to win it all in the eyes of the casino ( my bank account being $50mil richer was very thankful for those odds ). The first major area of concern for the Sabercats roster is the cornerback position. The end of season 24 brought about three major changes in the San Jose roster that will require some big moves to recover from. The first loss came in the form of Tyler Oles Jr. leaving the team to be re-signed by the Chicago Butchers in an unsurprising move which was originally done to preserve roster space pending the S25 expansion draft, but worked very well in Oles’ favor in gaining an Ultimus ring. The second secondary loss for the ‘Cats was losing CB Matt Krause to free agency. Krause was quickly signed as a free agent addition to the newly created Berlin Fire Salamanders expansion team. The final loss, and one that was the biggest bummer to me, was the retirement of HeHateMe PickSix. Although he was inactive during S24, PickSix was a vital member of San Jose’s Ultimus run and will be greatly missed. Fun fact: PickSix was on the same Portland Pythons team as me for a few games during S20, but was traded to Myrtle Beach after a couple games. Not so fun fact: our Portland team that year was very bad. I think we only won 2 games. Meanwhile, the Myrtle Beach team that year was stacked with players like PickSix, Prince Vegeta ( then Jeffrey LaVert ) and Dax Frost ( now Raphtalia Chan I think? ).
Anyways, back to the SaberCats roster. Another big position of need for us in S25 will be defensive end. Although we had a bright young talent in Water Chestnut III as our hopeful star defensive end of the future, sadly due to expansion technicalities Chestnut was forced to retire. That, coupled with our other defensive end being Chip Otle who has been inactive for four seasons leaves the ‘Cats with two glaring holes in their defensive line.

[Lowlycrib]

Tier 3:

Hoisting trophy:
(Wanted to go for like a HD pixeled version since we use dots and not actual people)








Special Teams:

This is a pretty easy one for me to write about because a member of my team was an absolute stud on special teams and some could argue was a vital part of our success in our Ultimus run. Matty McDairmid was easily the best punter in the league this year and was a historic one as well as he is in a select few of punters to average over 50 yards per punt for the whole season. This sort of punting from Matty was able to assist our style of play that was moreso of a ground and pound game that sputtered at times but had McDairmid ready to bail us out with a boom of a punt into the other side of the field. While punting was a large part of his game he also put in a good season as a placekicker and was nearly perfect through out the entire season and continues his very high success rate through out his time in the league thus far. In summation it is pretty clear to see that an amazing punter and placekicker such as Matty McDairmid is crucial for any team with Ultimus aspirations and I'm just glad we locked this guy down on our team and replaced the highly inconsistent Kicky Bobby. 

(215)




Magazine:

[Beaver]

1 task from pbe

[ComebackZak]

Placeholder

Tier 3: PBE affiliate

Tier 3 - Task 25: Despite only being around the International Simulation Football League, I have been able to discover some changes that have occurred in the league that ended up changing the status quo. Now a way too obvious one would be expansion in the either the International Simulation Football League or the Developmental Simulation Football League. What I am going to be talking about is technically related to expansion and OG teams alike: REBRANDING. Much before I joined the International Simulation Football League, there was a team named the Palm Beach Solar Bears. Supposedly the whole team name and logo were stolen and they were either forced or politely asked to rebrand the team. They eventually landed on the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. This change made branding new/expansion teams or rebranding older teams a little bit more of a creative process. You have to get creative of your team likeness. It's a made up league so you might as well have made up teams and names for places that don't actually have sports teams (or at least football teams). This whole situation, in my opinion, is a great example for any online league to create a whole new world of sports that doesn't relate or rehash what we already have in real life. And to be honest, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers is a better name than the Palm Beach Solar Bears (even though it's a great play on words).

236 words

Tier 2 - Task 13: Coming over from the Pro Baseball Experience, a league that I truly love, I had set a pretty high bar. So far, the International Simulation Football League has met that bar. I have seen a lot of familiar faces and have met some cool new users. I've had a lot of good conversations with users but especially the General Managers from the Developmental Simulation Football League. Now, granted it is scouting and General Managers need to be courteous and welcoming however it does not appear to be fake or forced. They truly appear to be genuine and care about their team and the health of the league that they help run. I really love how well documented the history of the league is and the whole wiki idea is really awesome. I hope I see other leagues, specifically the Pro Baseball Experience take a stab at this at some point. One thing that has also struck me so far, in a good way, are the brandings of the teams across the International Simulation Football League and the Developmental Simulation Football League. It's very diverse and honestly, I don't really see too many bad designs or names. While I'm not overly enthused with my player's start it is no fault to the team that picked me up - the Portland Pythons. I was a waiver pick up and they were making a playoff push. it is completely understandable and coming over here from the Pro Baseball Experience as a co general manager, I completely understand and would probably have done the same thing. So no ill will towards them, I'm just glad that decided to pick me up with their waiver pick and get me in a game once! As I previously mentioned, since I am being scouted for the Developmental Simulation Football League draft I have had a chance to talk to a lot of great people/scouts/General Managers. The ones that stick out to me, which ranges based off of a lengthy talk or helping me with something league related, are RESouthPaw of the Portland Pythons, Katarn22 of the London Royals, and r0tzbua of the Dallas Birddogs. In regards to league recommendations, I think overall the league does a really great job explaining things, the site is easy to navigate (which being in the Pro Baseball Experience has helped prepare me for this), and the site has a wonderful dark theme which is really great on the eyes!! I probably missed it but the only thing I think that would help me is a schedule that breaks down when weeks starts and end and an offseason schedule. Like I said, there's a very good chance I might not have found these things.

453 words

[SaborTheWaverunner]

PBE PT: http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=219715

Rest to come

[Sushi]

13) This task is exclusive to non-recreate rookies of the S24 class and later. In 400 words or more, how has your experience been in the league? Who have you met that has made your time here more fun, friendly, and exciting? Have you been satisfied with your player’s early start? What was it like being drafted for the first time? Do you have any comments or suggestions for the entire league that you think should be implemented?

Ne Mo is a distant cousin of Aron Hernadivic in the Simulation Hockey League, do not ask me how, just accept it as it is. Ne Mo is a Tight End of the Season Twenty Four class, currently playing for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. The International Simulation Football League is my second simulation league, having joined the Simulation Hockey League (SHL) in July of 2019. Having become addicted to the Simulation Hockey League thanks to joining the best run franchise in Buffalo, who happens to have the best locker room in the league, I was convinced to try out ISFL, as I joined a number of other Buffalo players like WannaBeFinn, Trautner, Grum, and others in all creating at the same time. We all talked about maybe playing together in the ISFL as well, although it seems like that has worn off now, especially as Trautner left Buffalo to join our biggest rival (get that bread though youngblood). Due to my number of commitments in the SHL, I've never really given a shit about the ISFL, especially after constantly hearing about the stuff done by the Head Office here. One of my first memories I have of the ISFL is when hearing that Jeffie43 got F I R E D after bringing back a former bust, gwdjohnson to the league. The fact that the Head Office here fires a wonderful GM in Jeffie for tampering a bust of a user in Gabe Johnson is so stupid, I couldn't wrap my head around it. We had a similar instance in the SHL where a good developmental GM got busted for tampering, yet he was only fined money and picks. The decision process to fire a GM over this is just so stupid. So yeah, not the best start here in the ISFL. Besides this, there are a number of people I enjoy spending time with in the locker rooms, specifically in OCO. I am good friends with jeffie, gwdjohnson, and spec, having fostered and developed these friendships thanks to the SHL. Additionally, I hav made friends with a number of other people who aren't active in the SHL, such as Blasoon, and ScoryCory, even if they have poor taste in NFL teams. 

Still, there are a number of changes I would make to improve the experience here. First, abolish the two or three Predictions a week. Make them one week at a time, post them the week before they are do. This would improve the experience for people who don't want to spend every day on the site. Additionally, rewrite your rule book, its still dumb af jeffie was fired for tampering. (441 words, +5)

23) Imagine that the league’s Pro Bowl included a skills competition similar to the NFL. What sorts of  games could you see being implemented? Which players do you think would perform the best in ultimate frisbee, dodgeball, or other games? Which conference would come out on top?

The International Simulation Football League, and more specifically, the Developmental Simulation Football League, should implement a wide variety of fun games that bring the fans closer to the players, and drive up the viewership numbers of these two leagues. My one and only suggestion an activity that should be implemented by the International Simulation Football League's Head Office is a race, yet not just any race. This race should be in the ocean, and should involve players swimming. Why should you do this you ask? Well, that's easy. Ne Mo is a fish, but not just any fish, an adventurous, fast-swimming, ocean-loving fish. We should honestly just treat the skills competition like the Olympics. Let's have all the players race Ne Mo in the 50 metre, 100 metre, 200 metre, 400 metre, and 800 metre freestyle, let's see how their 100 metre backstroke and 200 metre backstroke is, let's compare their butterfly techniques and see if it changes between the 100 metre race and the 200 metre race, and let's see how they do in an open water race. I guarantee Ne Mo wins every single race. Finally, let's see Ne Mo kick their ass in the breast stroke. This should have been implemented yesterday. (205 words, +2.5 TPE)

[Lightnoir]

Task 14: Okay so this is really the only task I feel I can do justice to, and that's because my player, Wesley Eriksen, actually had his first season that is in any way worthly of pro bowl/awards nomination. Wonderful that it came in a season we went three and thirteen. This season Eriksen had 133 tackles, good enough for third overall in the league and first amongst defensive backs. This tackle number is also one short of the Philly franchise record. On top of that I added a handful of sacks, deflections, forced fumbles, and TFLs. I think it would be a bit of a long shot, but I did lead my position in a meaningful stat and have worked hard over a few seasons to get to the point where that was possible. It sucks that it took a porous linebacker corps to get to that point, but you know that's the way the cookie crumbles. The only problem is that I was unlucky enough to record 0 interceptions this season, and I think awards voters (and nominators) are really horny for interceptions. Oh, on top of that my team only won three games, so like, that really sucks when it comes to winning awards. I have a suspicion awards voters care a lot about that kind of shit too.

(221 words)

Task 8: The Philadelphia Liberty are in a very difficult position and it would be disingenuous to deny it. We've just come off a particularly disappointing season that saw us playing meme strats (much to my chagrin) in the final week, because we had that little to play for. It's almost odd, because the Liberty look to be in great position in many aspects: Liberty have a high TPE QB that saw an archetype change mid-season that has raised his game somewhat. QB is the stronger predictor of team success, so we're looking good out the gate. We also possess a pair of great running backs, Torensen and Dotson, who can share carries and keep the offense moving on the ground. Our O-line has a couple humans, our receivers are regressing slightly overall but like highly competent. On the defensive side of the ball we have a decent d-line, and pretty damn bad linebacker corps, and one of the most impressive secondaries in the league. It's hard to say how expansion is going to hit us (or at least hard to say officially, since I have more war room info than I can talk about) so I won't address anyone that could be snatched up to further weaken the team. The number one place we need to build is in our linebackers. We don't have a true star behind the defensive line to provide solidity over the middle. In a perfect world I would bring in a high TPE player to plug that hole, if only for the time being, because I think a single player in the MLB position can be the difference between another three win season and making the playoffs. The next positions I'd address would be the offensive and defensive lines. Phoenix has an unfortunate habit of getting sacked all the time, and increased protection would assist not only him, of course, but our capable RBs I mentioned earlier. On the defensive front we look alright for the time being, but Hall's absence means we'll need more help there in the near future than we expected. I think our secondary is going to be really fantastic for the foreseeable future. I feel confident at least three of us are going to stay on board through the remainder of the new contracts we signed at least. Most secondaries consist of four or five players however, and that's why I think it's our final, less urgent, position of need. From then on, I think an additional (or younger) TE would be good to bolster the O-line and add a new element to our offense, and eventually we'll be looking for a Torensen replacement. But that's a ways down the line. For now Liberty need to address their LBs first and foremost, and I truly think that could be enough to lead us to the playoffs once more.

(477 words)

Task 23: Oh boy I hope you're ready for me to get silly. Football is a game of not only strength, but of wit, dexterity, and ingenuity. This are aspects that are think are ultimately missing from the current pro bowl system. The first game I would add is Chess. Perhaps have players play each other, or even a chess robot. What's important is that you test their strategic ability. Perhaps there are linemen that have the tactical brilliance to play QB, or at least suggest adjustments on the line. With Chess as a new pro bowl activity we'll be able to better ascertain who has is being misused, and has the wit to take snaps under center. The next game I'd add is hacky sack. This league is a little overcompetitive, isn't it man? Wouldn't you like to take a minute to just chill out and not get hit? Well that's why hacky sack needs to be featured at the pro bowl. I think we spend too much time worried about winners and losers, and less about how much fun we just have playing that beautiful game together. That beautiful game of hacky sack that is. Now that we're measuring athletes intellect and chill factor, I think we're almost covering all the bases here. But I think we're still missing a great measure: mundanity. That's why grocery bagging should be added as a pro bowl event. Tell me you wouldn't want to see which QB has the fastest sack? Which corner knows to put the bread on top? We spend so much time as athletes that we forget the simple things in life. And isn't that what the pro bowl is ultimately about? Not really. But for the sake of this prompt, I think so.

(294 words)

[SwagSloth]

Tier 1: Long Form Tasks (800+ words)
Choose ONE for 10 TPE.

5) Write 800 words or more on something that interests you. It could be related to statistics, to a league issue you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 800 words about your team’s Werewolf server. Be warned that freedom comes with risk, and this category will be judged especially stringently for anyone trying to spew complete nonsense.

These last few seasons, when it comes to the Ultimus task, I always like to write about the previous season. It’s fresh in my mind and it’s a nice way to put a cap on it. Many times, when I was a GM, I would reflect on my own decisions, but since leaving that role, I’ve come to instead reflect on my own experiences as a player. As a GM, I think the key to success is connecting with your players and keeping them happy. But the irony is that you get so buried in budgets and depth charts that it can become quite easy to see everyone as just cogs in a machine. It takes an effort on the GM and co-GM’s part to keep themselves grounded, so they don’t forget what made them successful in the first place, the players. I think I did a good job of this, but in the process, I lost sight of what I wanted for my own player.

I have, at times, questioned my continuing interest in the league. Not because of anything anyone else has done, but simply because it’s been three years and it’s easy for things to lose the magic after a while. As I often do in real life, within the league, I tend to dedicate myself to others and here that means putting the team first. And I will always consider myself a team player, but I’ve also started to see the magic fade and the excitement of logging in daily just isn’t there anymore. I remember a time when I would read every article, review every transaction, and wait for news within the league with bated breath. This league is a community and the story of the league is driven by the players. But time can dull even the most exciting things.

It was with great reluctance that I tested free agency last season. In doing so, I felt like I was letting my team down, but I already had spent an entire career in one place and I was left questioning if this was the place where I could do the most good. I’ve talked before about the decision to head to Chicago and I don’t want to rehash too much of that because I’ve talked about it before, but I would like to talk about what happened AFTER I joined the team.

The players were engaged and the locker room had a positive atmosphere. The team was in a tough spot, but they were absolutely determined to turn it around. Right off the bat, I could feel a level of energy that made me excited about the league again. I didn’t fully know what role I would play as a player and a teammate, but I was optimistic and looking forward to the opportunities that lay ahead.

The season started out tough. We took several losses early on, including a few that we thought we had a good chance of winning (as many teams often feel, I suppose). But what impressed me the most was that people didn’t let it defeat them. The energy in the locker room didn’t dissipate; it was a challenge, of course, but people found ways to stay focused on the long term goal. We were determined to keep improving for next season even if we couldn’t compete this season. But then, it all started to turn around. We found ourselves slowly getting back in the hunt. The right pieces fell into place and this team that was updating with S25 in mind found that they still had a chance to make the S24 playoffs. It was a long shot and getting past the wild card round would be difficult given that the Colorado Yeti and Sarasota Sailfish were practically juggernauts this season, but even making it to the wildcard round would be a massive step forward for this team. In the end, that was where our journey ended for the season, but we went down fighting in a play-off game that looked like it could go either way. If we only had a few more seconds on the clock, maybe we could have turned it around. That’s not to undercut Sarasota because they played well this season and earned their spot, but to us, it showed the rest of the league that we belonged with the best.

I’m so appreciative to everyone in the locker room. I don’t always talk and sometimes my feedback is rather minimal, but that doesn’t mean I’m not listening. The energy of my team’s locker room keeps me going. And, as a former GM, it makes me proud to see the kind of team spirit that this group has. I haven’t been as active as I usually am; real life has been chaotic and the league comes behind a lot of other things, but my heart is still in it and that’s not something that I knew would be the case at this point. Had I picked the wrong team or ended up somewhere that didn’t motivate me to stay engaged, I could easily be inactive right now. Again, that’s more on me than the league itself as you guys are growing and doing amazing things as a community, but time wears us all down. Nonetheless, I know now that I did pick the right team and I’m so thankful to you guys (and gals) for accepting me as one of your own and bringing back that spark to the league for me. Even if I hadn’t been the max earner I once was, I hope that the player I’ve developed can continue to help contribute to the team and I’ll do my best to keep him relevant going forward.

We made the playoffs this season. Let’s go to the Ultimus next season! Come on, butchers! It’s time to show the rest of the league how the chicken nuggets are made.

987 Words

[TheCC]

Task 7) Awards season is here! I was unfortunately thrust onto the ISFL Awards Committee this offseason, against my will. I will try hard to remain unbiased and not let my judgement be clouded, forcing me to fight for all of my teammates to win awards, haha. However, there are a few players that I think are deserving of a nomination, and possibly even a win. The biggest stand out player on the Chicago Butchers in my eyes is actually one of the lowest TPE players on the team, and that is Hingle McCringleberry. McCringleberry has 112 tackles, which is good enough for 11th among linebackers. That’s not *that* impressive, I know, but you need to look at the rest of the statline to get the whole picture. He also has one tackle for loss, also not great, but nobody with more tackles than him has more than 3 so that’s not too much of a knock on him. He also forced two fumbles and recovered one, and again, nobody with more tackles than him has more than two forced and one recovered. Here is where his stat line gets extremely juicy… He nabbed 8 sacks which is not bad at all. 8 sacks puts him at third place among anyone with more tackles than him. He also managed to snag two interceptions, which is two more than I had all year at cornerback. That seems impressive to me. What’s even more impressive though, is the 26, yes you read that correctly, 26 passes defensed. This is good for 2nd in passes defensed among *all players*. Only fellow Linebacker Derred De Ville, who plays for the Baltimore Hawks, has more passes defended at 29. It’s very hard to argue that Hingle McCringleberry deserves to win the Linebacker of the Year award when Mr. De Ville has bested or tied McCringleberry in every single stat. Basically the only argument is that Hingle McCringleberry was able to do this to help his team to the playoffs, which De Ville did not manage to do, as the Baltimore Hawks were on the outside looking in come time for the postseason. That’s really the only way to argue that McCringleberry should win. I’d also like to shout out some other players on the Butchers that I think should be in the conversation for a nomination. Those players are: linebacker Mike Hockhertz, wide receiver Sean O’Leary, and kicker punter Sam Sidekick. They may not win, but all of them had fantastic years at their respective positions. Those are my picks for possible award nominations from the Chicago Butchers! (431 words)

Task 8) I told you guys! I told you all. I did this same task last season and I talked about how we, the Chicago Butchers, were closer to competing than everyone thought we were. I don’t blame you considering we had the number one pick in the draft last season, but I knew what we were capable of. We got off to a pretty rough start this season. I believe we started the year 2-7, but we ended up making the playoffs and coming *this* close to upsetting the Sarasota Sailfish at home to advance. So, what can we do to improve our chance of finally hoisting that Ultimus trophy, you ask? Honestly, we can just wait. Only two of our players are going to regress this season. Expansion hurts, but our team is really young and full of great earners, so our team will most likely improve a ton by the end of next season. We should really all be hitting our stride since a lot of us are close to our effective cap. One thing that we can do is target a prospect in the first round of this draft that can contribute in year one. Obviously their player can’t be very useful to us, but there are a ton of great prospects in the upcoming draft that bring something to the table off the field. Whether that’s locker room activity, or sim testing, or what, there’s a lot that the top prospects are offering. It’s a reddit draft class, so the top of this class is just stacked to the brim with talent. Several of these guys have made big sim discoveries, or some people made apps or processes to streamline or min max sim testing even more than it already had been. We’re pretty tight on the budget, so I’m not sure that we will be able to bring in any free agents, but that’s possibly an option as well. Muford has proven himself to be an expert when it comes to luring free agents to the team. The offseason before last, he managed to bring in Tyler Oles Jr., who is one of the best players in the S22 draft class and a valuable war room member. Then last offseason, he lured the top free agent wide receiver to the Butchers in Paz (Bender B. Rodriguez), and one of, if not the, best running backs available in Baby Yoda. All 3 have been extremely productive for us. Whatever we do, I think we’ll be in a great position by the time that the next season rolls around. I trust our general managers to put us in the best possible position to win! (446 words)