(S26) - PT 2 - You Sit on a Throne of Lies

[JuOSu]

PBE PT

[excelsior]

Dallas is the best team in the DSFL, and it's not even close. According to the index power rankings, which is known to be 101% historically accurate, Dallas is listed to have a rating of 2.92, which is the best in the league. We are undefeated, along with 2 road wins, and we have the most road wins of any undefeated team. We also hold 2/5 of the active human OL in the leauge, so thi could explain why we are so good. I predict us to go 14-0, due to some calculations I did with some high school calculus. Our QB has the 2nd highest passer rating in the league, and the 3rd highest completion percentage. He's also thrown the longest pass so far, at 44 yards. He also has the highest YPA, and pair those passing skills with Cobra Kai, and it's a deadly combo that will set you up with an undefeated season. Kai is 1st in rushing yards and TDs, and in rushing attempts too. The offense runs through him, and he needs a solid OL to do that too. Dallas OL is 2nd in pancakes, and T-3rd in sacks allowed. Both the human tackles haven't given up a single sack, and Waialiki is playing very well. Now, let's look at the defense, which is playing equally well. Only allowing around 13 points per game. Dallas defense leads the league in TFLs, and we also have a safety. Now, looking at our production compared to Portland, it looks like Portland is getting a major boost from their defense, like, a major, major boost. I don't htink that kind of defensive production is sustainable. That's why Dallas is going to be the best team in the DSFL this season.

[Bruins10]

SHL Affiliate

[Big Edd]

This first week has been nothing short of a terrible start for Big Edd. Quite literally its been his worst ever start to a season in his career, including his year in the DSFL! He has a whopping 1 sack and 11 tackles through six games which is totally unacceptable. The two-time Defensive tackle of the year has always been putting up monstrous numbers, but this season marks an all-time low. It could even be argued that Edd is the Worst DT of the eyar at this point. Big Edd better hit the gym soon or he's gonna find himself sitting on the bench soon. Its kind of weird considering I actually started updating again, so I am going to blame this failure of a season entirely on the fact I updated. Last season also marked the first time in Edd's career that he missed the playoffs. That Honolulu team was straight poop, and we missed the darn playoffs. This season in Colorado has also gotten off to a rocky 3-3 start. Is this a sign? Is Big Edd a Big Unlucky Charm? Maybe. Could it be that the sim hates me because I'm so good looking? Probably., so Im going to go with that as the reason. Im a better-looking person than the sim. Ha, take that.

[Ephenssta]

Let’s face the facts a little bit…a midtier earner at a low-stats position being called up after only one season in the DSFL doesn’t exactly suggest an explosive start for Redbeard McFredbeard, the first round pick for the Yeti last offseason. But that’s as far as the logic goes. This season is terrible. In the first weak I did nothing. I think I got one sack across three games? Less than 5 tackles averaged in each of them? If I’m not there to hit people and bust up plays, what am I even doing? But what makes all this even worse is that I’m hearing some rumors about upcoming changes to the league structure that may make things even worse for me. I’ve been told by  my coaching staff that going forwards, my job will be exclusively to get pancaked by o-lineman to free up gaps for other people to take all the glory. Time for the sizzling takes. Redbeard will be one of the least notable defensive tackles in league history on account of the impending sim engine swap. Aside from having a shot at DT specific awards, his career will be terrible and full of lackluster performances, with his sole purpose seemingly being to boost the pancake stats of the opposition’s offensive line. If that’s the case, may as well cement my reputation as an early-retirer and move on to the next position. Maybe I’ll create on the offensive side of the ball next time around…Time will tell I guess.

252 words

[ReverendOReily]

Headlines coming out of Orange County today all seem to say indicate one thing: Richard Leaking, once a star linebacker for America's team, the Dallas Birddogs, has suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth without a trace. Although playing well enough to earn a nomination for both Linebacker of the Year and Defensive Player of the Year as well as a visit to Reykjavik for the league's pro bowl last season, Leaking struggled thus far in his debut to the big leagues, racking up only 8 tackles, a sack (I can't even pretend to be disappointed about this, hooray I got a sack!), and one measly pass deflection despite playing FIVE GAMES. As if that weren't bad enough, Leaking's teammates reported him missing late on Wednesday afternoon - reports are saying Leaking's teammate, star wide receiver and future MVP Garfield Despacito Jr. called the Missing Persons Hotline in absolute shambles, distraught over the disappearance of his beloved teammate. Leaking was most certainly on the flight home from New Orleans last week, per his teammates, and he was even spotted visiting the Mission San Juan Capistrano in Orange County on Monday morning, but he did not report for the team's 1 pm check-in for the game against the New York Silverbacks last night. As of Thursday morning, foul play has not yet been ruled out. Wherever Leaking is, he is sure to be cheering for his beloved Otters and Birdtweeters on their quests to win championships this season.

[Net]

PBE

[TheDangaZone]

Even though the season is young I do see a pretty obvious pattern to my rookie season in Tijuana so far. While I am the main running back for the Luchadores I also am splitting time with rushes as I learn the playbook and we grow as a team with many young skill players around us. So far I have had a lot of carries but I have not been able to really have my breakout game yet and it is disappointing as I feel like I can do better than this so maybe I sit on a throne of lies that my stats do not tell the whole story so far. Through 3 games I currently have 197 rushing yards but 0 touchdowns. Sadly I am averaging less than 3 yards per carry so far so hopefully if I continue to work on my skills as well as the offensive line continuing to improve their blocking I will get better as the season goes along. While I don't think I will have an mvp type season I also think I am overreacting about how bad I have been to start as well and I will get better as the season goes on. But at the end of the day I already have a championship ring before I even got drafted to Tijuana and that playoff and championship experience will be invaluable to replicate anywhere else, stats inflated or not. End of the day what matters is winning and Tijuana will be back in that Ultimini game again, believe that. 

260 words

[puolivalmiste]

As everyone expected before season started Sarasota Sailfish have already taken dominating lead of the whole league after 6 games, some might try to argue that there are actually 2 teams that have same record but Sarasota has lead in most important tiebreaker, we have most points scored, at least if I know my football stuff, which I don't. Not only are we bound to take the first place in NSFC and whole league for regular season but also in my opinion extremely likely to be winning the ultimus this season. With passing numbers Boss Jr. has had during his rookie season, already at almost 2k yards after 6 games leaving rest of the teams in shambles. Witheblock, M. Also leading the league for receiving making them perfect match for each other. And it isn't only offense of the Sarasota that is ahead of the league as our defensive players are also pulling their weight with likes of Utterstruzen, T. another rookie who is best for his position, at least when focusing on one stat only. Dillmiballs, F and Goku, S also create almost impenetrable defensive line, without forgetting one of best broke as hell semi-active defensive ends of the league, Mike Karpaasi.

[Jepox]

SHL PT