(S29) Ultimus Week

[JaytheGreat]

16. This task is exclusive to recreate/non-recreate rookies of the S30 class and later. The season is over and the draft is coming up. What do you bring to a team, and why should a team choose to take a chance on you next season?

Well that's the big question isn't it? What I bring to a DSFL team is not only a winning attitude but a drive to win as well. Specifically what I bring to a team is a safety who loves to play in the box and hit people, as well as making plays in space against WRs and TEs. I pride myself in being a disruptor, a player who will cause turnovers and still be reliable in in coverage. If you watch the NFL I try to model myself as a Jamal Adams, Tyrann Mathieu, and Troy Polamalu. My last player was considered pretty good and at one time was top 10 in the tackles for loss stat, while being lower then most in the TPE department. While I don't have a job yet in this league I do have 2 jobs in the SHL so I know what's expected when it comes to it. I don't cause trouble in the locker room and I'm pretty easy to negotiate when contract extension time comes around. I'm very hungry to win a championship, last go around I was in 4 championship games and lost all 4 which was pretty annoying so I'm coming back to change it this time around. So if you want a player that's going to raise havoc on offenses and have an user that's pretty laid then I'm your guy. 

232 words


29. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this UW, which would mean SHL's PT #2, SMJHL PT #3, and PBE's PT 26-2.
PBE PT


10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

In terms of the story of Spears most of it is still to be written. Jay Spears was born in Michigan and is the nephew of former ISFL DE Jayson Kearse. Growing Spears would always excitingly sit around and listen to story's from Kearse about the league. Listening to his uncle's stories he made up his mind that he wanted to be a pro football player.  When he was older Spears would work out with Kearse during the offseason, and since Kearse has retired he became Spears' personal trainer. Out of high school Spears was a 5 star safety and decided to stay home and play football for the University of Michigan, he had offers from almost every team in the country and could have went anywhere but he decided to play for his childhood team. While at Michigan he was a Freshman All American, and a 2 time All American. In his last season he was the only defensive player to receive a vote. While at Michigan he set the record for most sacks by a safety and most forced fumbles. Since declaring early for the DSFL draft, Spears was picked on waivers by the Minnesota Grey Ducks half way through the season. Jay was lucky enough to see first hand Minnesota winning the DSFL Championship, it was even more magically given that his uncle used to play for the Grey Ducks back when they were still in San Antonio. During this time we met his fellow rookies, including some of the other Safeties. While meeting the rookies he was introduced to Cedric Wilkins II, who is related to one of Kearse's old teammates. Meeting Wilkins II gave Spears even more motivation to step up his game even though they play different positions in the secondary. One of Spears' favorite things about the upcoming DSFL draft is getting to meet with teams, he's already talked to 4 different GMs and have seen 3 of the team's facilities. It's really cool to actual meet with those guys and some of the players and really get a feel about what the different teams are about. It's been an exciting few weeks for Spears which is only going to get better as the DSFL draft is scheduled for this week. Will he follow in his uncle's foot steps and be a 1st round pick or will he have to write his own story and prove the doubters wrong as he goes later in the draft? 

413 words

[hexify]

Task 17 

First off, I think the Birddogs need to add more color to their field. It is bland and drab in my opinion. I think they need to incorporate the Darker blue some more into the field. Maybe have the endzone fade from a darker blue into the lighter blue? And if you wanna get even more fancy, you could add yellow stripes. The logo on the field should also be changed into the one that is in the endzone. Also, the paws are cool but aren't really visually appealing to look at.  It looks more like a baby's play place than a football field. The shade of blue used in the endzone needs to just be changed to be lighter, so it can match with the darker blue as mentioned before. You could even implement a full blue field into it. I think it would at least look better than the current field. Also, you can add onto it with the yard lines being the complementing color of yellow. Or you could just have the yellow yard lines to complement the blue endzone. I love the birddogs to death, however, we have to accept that we would see out football inside of a daycare as a learning tool. 
(208 words)

Task 20

Draft Prospect: Ioe Torrent, Defensive End\
Current Team : Dallas Birddogs
College: Missouri
Height: 6'5
Weight: 280
Archetype: Power Rusher
Stats: 32 Tck, 8 TFL, 5 SCK, 2 FF, 1 FR

Pros: Ioe has shown elite strength, despite being just a rookie, Our scouters estimate his strength is around the 80-85 range. He has good tackling for a defensive end. Our scouters rank it around 67-73. He also has excellent speed for a defensive end, coming around 74-79 from our scouters. Ioe has shown that he is faster than some linebackers, which is incredible despite him being a power rusher.
Ioe is also a great locker room presence. He is very kind, but also is a great person to have a conversation with. He even creates videos for the Birddogs, recapping their last few games. He always seems to move in the best interest of the teams, and is overall just a good person. He does not have attitude issues like the notorious @Big Edd

Averages: Ioe has very average intelligence, ranking around 50-60. 

Cons: Ioe has terrible endurance, barely able to pace himself on the field. We estimate it to be around 35-40. Ioe also has below-average agility. He has trouble turning corners and changing directions, for this reason, we estimate his agility around a 50-55.

Consensus: We believe Ioe Torrent is an incredible prospect, despite his obvious room to improve. He is one of the most talented players of this draft, and we expect him to do Great things in the ISFL. We estimate his overall to be a 73-78 when entering the league. Ioe currently sits around 264 TPE, which is ABOVE the dsfl cap. This is elite for a rookie. Other prospects on his team such as Scooter Mcgee (Linebacker) and Hex Aqua'Key-Kiann (Linebacker) are not close to his level,  despite being good prospects themselves. 

Draft Position: Most likely a top 10 draft pick. If he slips out of that, he will surely be a first round pick.
(331?)


Task 19

The show would have to be following HAKK's (Hex Aqua'Key-Kiann) journey through his DSFL and ISFL career. HAKK was born in Honolulu, so it would explore Hawaiian island life and culture. It would show how HAKK got his interest in football, which was when he accidentally flipped the channel to an old Tennesse Titans game with Derrick Henry. He saw how dominant and how tough Derrick Henry. HAKK wanted to be the one to be strong to stop him in the open field. From that day, he trained and trained to become the strongest and fastest he could. When he finally became old enough to participate in organized football, he asked the coach which position gets to hit the RB and the offense. When the coach responded with Linebacker, HAKK immediately decided that was gonna be his position for life. When he played, he only had average coverage skills. However, he was a sure tackler and could power through blocks. HAKK was good enough to get college attention, and Kentucky took an interest in him. He attended it, and was an average player on the field. He really only shined at block shedding and tackling. He was not drafted, so he entered the DSFL draft, and the rest is to be written.
(212 words)

Task 22

For the half time show, I think we need a man, a myth, a legend.
Bobby Schmurda. We need Bobby to come out and perform for everyone in the league. He recently was released for prison, despite him being totally innocent (in my book, smh.) We need him to just perform anything he wants to. However, thats not it. We will also have Taco Bell come out and shoot crunchwraps into the crowd. They will also run a kiosk selling discounted food. For the finale, everything goes to black. It is completely dark and silent. We leave it like that for like five or ten minutes, whichever is cool. Then, just when everyone thinks something is wrong, we have Derrick Henry pop into the spotlight. He says he will demonstrate an art for us. Then the light shines on various people. People like Josh Norman, Earl Thomas, and Myles Jack are there. They are then paraded around and viciously stiff armed all over the field for a few minutes. When hes done with that, The Patriots father, also known as Logan Ryan, will come out and say how much New England misses Tom Brady. A parody versin of "Gary, come home" plays, but instead it is "Brady, come home." That is the perfect halftime event.
(215)

[TheRocheLimit]

1.

I am writing this after the Ultimus. The question is "Am I surprised by the outcome?". Not at all. The Ultimus Champion New York Silverbacks busted their asses all year long and this outcome is well deserved. How did they get there? What was the recipe for success? What were the roadblocks along the way? Lets go ahead and break it all down.

The New York Silverbacks entered the season with one goal in mind: make the postseason and make some noise. The Silverbacks had made the playoffs in previous seasons but had not yet secured victories in the postseason. And although their defensive anchor Bubba Thumper had gone back home to Colorado for a farewell tour the team knew it had the right mix of veterans and younger players to finally get the job done.

On offense, quarterback Sam Howitzer was entering his prime. Things really began to click for Howitzer, especially from the midpoint of the season on. Howitzer would end up recording more regular season passing touchdowns this season than he did in his two previous seasons combined. New York's dynamic wide receiver trio of Jackson Kingston, Tugg Speedman, and Sean Snyder were the main beneficiaries of Howitzer's leap. Kingston recorded 14 touchdowns and 1200 receiving yards. Speedman and Snyder both ended the regular season with around 1000 receiving yards each. The ground game was also rolling for New York, with team captain Captain Rogers and sensational rookie Brandon Prince forming a formidable 1-2 punch. Rogers tallied over 1500 all purpose yards and Prince shocked the world by recording 13 total touchdowns in his inaugural season. And lets not forget the GOAT fullback, Buster Bawlls, who always shows up at just the right time. The Silverbacks offense was firing on all cylinders throughout the season and it's no surprise that when the lights shined the brightest they were at their best.

Defensively the Gorilla Gang proved once again why they are arguably the best defensive team in the ISFL. The team lead the league in forced fumbles, fumbles recovered, and sacks. This was a big play defense full of stars on every level. Free agent acquisition Ke'oke'o Kāne-Maika'i joined a formidable front four with veterans Brick Van Sanzo and Leon McDavid and newcomer Mongo. The fearsome foursome combined for a staggering 31 sacks, practically living in the opposing backfield. Backing them up were the linebacking crew of Jack Banks, Makoto Otawara, and Hank Winchester. These three flew all over the field, amassing a total of 277 tackles, 26 sacks, and 12 forced fumbles between them. And locking down the secondary were Colt Mendoza, Dukburg QuakStak, Dogwood Maple, Bob Roberts, and Mac Griddle. Mendoza put up a season for the ages, ultimately winning Cornerback of the Year. The entire secondary group proved they were up to whatever task was thrown at them, whether it be covering some of the league's top receivers, popping the ball loose from a running back breaking through, or flattening the opposing quarterback on a blitz.

The team as a whole really began to come together as the season went on. A six game winning streak in the middle of the season seemed to put the team on a path for greatness and allowed them to weather the storm as the schedule got tougher. New York faced what was nearly a "must win" in the final week of the regular season on the road against the Orange County Otters and were able to hold off a rugged Otters team to lock in their playoff position and give them the momentum they need to make a deep run.

The Silverbacks were able to string together a couple of narrow victories against the New Orleans Second Line at home and the Arizona Outlaws on the road to punch their ticket to the big game. Sam Howitzer and Jackson Kingston came up big for the Silverbacks against New Orleans, and in Arizona the backfield of Captain Rogers and Brandon Prince took control of the game early and often. Defensively there were contributions from all over the place in the lead up to the final game. Leon McDavid turned back the clock against the Second Line, recording two sacks and a forced fumble. Against the Outlaws Colt Mendoza showed why he was voted best cornerback in the league by posting a ridiculous stat line of five tackles, one interception, a forced fumble and recovery, and a defensive touchdown.

Surprisingly, the Ultimus ended up being decided by a bigger margin than either of the Silverbacks previous two games. Brandon Prince showed off his clutch gene by leading the offense with 126 rushing yards and a touchdown. Colt Mendoza continued his hot streak on defensive and found himself recording a defensive touchdown in his second straight postseason game.

And, lest we forget, kicker Dougie Smalls was perfect in the postseason nailing every extra point and field goal attempt.

As you can see, the New York Silverbacks became Ultimus Champions through hard work, perseverance, and most importantly teamwork. Every player on the team gave it their all. Every player fought. And at the end of the day, every player won. Am I surprised that the Silverbacks hoisted the trophy at the end of the year? Not in the slightest.

[Lowlycrib]

Tier 2:

Expansion

Expansion always seems to be on the horizon in the ISFL as it has recently already expanded but might be looking to do it again in the near future. One of my first takes to explore is my dislike towards the DSFL as I understand it's purpose but honestly we can just get rid of it and grow and develop true rookies in the ISFL without the need for a developmental league that no one cares about the year they leave it to join the big leagues. If this were to happen you could form a far more robust and full league that could have a number of different storylines and free agencies that actually can mean something rather than a team being chalk full of studs at every position thus making the league more enjoyable for all. While this is very far from actually happening I do believe another expansion vote would be beneficial for the league because it is becoming more apparent that teams are full with talent both in the DSFL and ISFL which only points to expanding the league. The current set of teams are all pretty much deadlocked and the deciding factor of who does good and who does bad primarily seems to be sim luck (which being on San Jose previously certainly helped us). Expansion also creates a buzz around the league and I think promotes activity and hype around the league because it can sort of become a slog of similarity and boringness but if you bring a few new teams into the fold it can have different types of mindsets formed in users heads such as wanting to go their to build a legacy for their player and team, vehemently going against such a team because you hate expansion like a nerd, or hype around how they'll do their first season much like the Golden Knights in real life. One of the issues that does arise with expansion is the quality of the GMs, a counterpoint I may add would be that we have a number of great GMs either in the DSFL currently would could definitely use a shot in the big league or older members on the site would thought they might be an alright GM but never really ever got the shot due to the amount of long standing GMs in the league such as the GOAT Ckroyal. While expansion is an often debated sort of thing, j think the debate really should be over with for a least one round of expansion because I think it can improve the quality of the league in other ways such as the streams, locker rooms, and general flow of ideas.

(449)


Tier 3:

Draft

To go meta at the start of this explanation, my previous player Tyron Brackenridge can be considered as one of the greatest San Jose Sabrecat defenders of all time and might even crack the Hall of Fame one day. If a team takes a chance of Andy Fantuz they are getting a long standing member and an active one that looks to grow until I'm maxed out and fight regression as long as humanly possible in this league. While Andy Fantuz might not be the fastest player on the field, he does have the surest hands in the class and looks to rack up the receptions for any quarterback that he ends up teaming with. Andy Fantuz is an active member in any locker room that is looking to add a wide receiver and looks to grow with the team in order to have a championship shot, which Brackenridge had twice. Andy Fantuz will be the steal of the draft if he falls out of the first round and any GM that is willing to take the chance on him will certainly not regret their decision as I usually remain loyal to the team drafting barring any significant issues or winless seasons. Ultimately, Andy Fantuz will be a great addition to any team that is willing to make the pick and the rest of the league will regret that decision not to draft Andy Fantuz.

(235)

Sim

I remember joining back in season 17 and even then the sim was takes about as bad and the league was looking for any chance it could get to change away from it due to its irregularities and problems. While I haven't really paid a whole of attention to the new sim I do believe that it has been a positive change to the league as well to the work put in to the committee that determined all of the different archetypes and stats for players to make it much more fair and realistic rather than have one single meta for any player to follow if they want to be successful. While the overall sim has been good, the one huge downside has been the quality of the streams which has gone way down in my opinion due to the sheer length that somebody has to wait just to watch their game because sitting around for over an hour and a half to see your team play is ridiculous and needs changing. The league needs to institute some sort of change before this gets out of hand with another round of expansion. While I do like the set archetypes, it sort of limits the creativity that some individuals can have with their play in regards to stuff such as height, weight, and overall build that they want to go with.

(230)

[DatSmolBoi]

13. Expansion Expansion Expansion! The league seems to love talking about it, but it has still not happened. Tell us why it should happen / should not happen soon?

Expansion! Almost half of the league likes expansion! I even like expansion (Sometimes) because expansion helped me get to the championship winning team in New York! Nah but for real, I would honestly love an expansion draft to happen sooner or later because it would be really cool to have a 16 team league! Okay I got other reasons. Reason #1: We are going to need to fit more players into teams. the DSFL is looking pretty stacked with their 8 team league and it is starting to look like more players are appearing every season! When it gets to that point where some active players are getting buried in depth, that's a big alarm to announce expansion. And even if the league actually needs more players rather then needing less than that is what recruiting is for! I really bet that if we start to recruit in big subreddits like r/NFL or some popular teams sub than the DSFL would get looking like S22 again. And that's when we will start to announce expansion from there. Reason #2: 4 team playoffs! So this is a new rule that Im pretty sure would never happen but if we do expand to 16 teams we could have the chance to have 4 teams make the playoffs! The #1 seed would not have a bye week and would instead face the #4 seed in the conference (who needs bye weeks anyways) and the #2 will stay playing the #3 seed in the conference! I can not be the only one that thinks that this would be cool, right? Surprise miracles and upsets would happen like the 8-8 team #4 seeded team beating the 13-3 #1 seeded team! Yes I am that cruel to higher seeded teams. This would be a great way to change the playoff format without actually changing anything at all. Reason #3: More locations for teams! According to the ISFL map, most teams are in the USA. Well to me my response is that we need more teams in more countries! Make teams in Russia, Canada, India, Brazil, Japan, France, Australia, literally anywhere in the world to make a team at! Make team flights a living hell going to your home stadium and back that's what the fun is in playing in a Dot Football League. And if we aren't having fun in the Dot football league then what are we doing here? Anyways, these are my 3 reasons on why we should have expansion! DSFL is getting overloaded, a 4 team playoff set would be cool, and we would get more teams in more countries. Thanks for reading Ultimus PT Grader!

14. Describe your player and/or team’s journey through this latest season. What were the highlights? What were the lower points? What might you have done differently? What are your expectations for next season?

Sean Snyder's last non-regression year has come to an end, meaning he would have to start taking off TPE every season from now until he decides to retire. That really sucks, but happens to the best of us right? This season, i'm not really expecting much. My WR2 has gotten taken from me from Tugg and im basically the Slot receiver now. So being the new WR3 from the team with regressing down to 800 TPE, yeah I am not expecting much from this season at all. So game 1 starts against Arizona and HOLY SHIT! That game I had 7 receptions for 117 receiving yards. Right now I am thinking to myself "How the hell did I get those stats as a regressing WR3?" Then game 2 starts AND I HAD EVEN MORE RECEIVING YARDS THAN 117. This game I had 6 receptions going for 157 receiving yards! Unreal, I am thinking in my head. "If I keep doing great in games like this than I might get nominated for an award or something!" Then I remembered that I was a regressing wide receiver 3. I start to show my regression after week 2 and Tugg starts to show himself as a great receiver for the rest of the season. Those first two weeks were definitely one of my favorite highlights in the season and maybe in my whole career in general. I honestly had no idea what made the sim trigger to have me have insane stats but I will forever be grateful for the sim for that moment. I still hate the sim though because even though I had great stats, my team lost every time I did good. Just a funny thought. My second highlight of the season would definitely have to be the NEW YORK SILVERBACKS WINNING THE S29 ULTIMUS TROPHY HELL YEAH! It's always a great moment for a ISFL Player to win their first Ultimus or Ultimini Trophy and this would be my first time ever doing so. Let me just say that the experience was amazing. Seeing all my teammates celebrating their deserved Ultimus just made me happy and Im glad that I had to witness that. Next season I am going to come off strong, I'm ready to start doing predictions, tweeting tweets for money, and actually updating my player which I didn't do last season at all. So, I'll say this as a little warning to the league. I'm back for the WR2 spot (I think idk) and with me actually being more active maybe ill get better stats as last year, I don't know? I guess we will just see for ourselves next year.

[huck24]

Tier 2: Short Form Tasks (Each must be 400+ words)
Choose up to TWO for 5 TPE each.

10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

He doesn’t talk about it very much but Vincent Jones Jr’s path to the ISFL was your typical path.  Vincent was born in sunny old England, his father being the professional soccer player / actor Vinnie Jones.  Vinnie had long been retired from soccer and well into his acting career when he met his to be wife and Vincent’s mother in Los Angles, California.  The Jones’ split their time between England and California while Vincent was a child, but spent the majority of their time in England, where Vincent fell in love with the ‘beautiful game’ of soccer.  Vincent’s dad Vinnie, has a storied past in his professional soccer career, noted as being one of the toughest, meanest, hard nosed player around.  The most famous memory of Jones on the soccer pitch was a picture taken of him crushing one of his opponents twigs and berries in his hand.  So, needless to say, Vinnie Jones had quite a reputation on the pitch. 

The old saying, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree fits very well for Vincent and Vinnie.  Vincent wanted nothing more than to follow in his fathers footsteps and play soccer in England.  Vincent began training at a very young age and was in top physical form before most kids his age.  He dominated the soccer field but he played with quite an edge, always going for a hard tackle and sticking up for any of his teammates when needed.  As Vincent got futher along in his progression it was clear that his physical play might be a bit too much for the game of soccer.  Vincent was sent off regularly with a straight red card and spent a whole lot of his time watching his team play from the sidelines, more often than not, down a player after he had been sent off. 

It was his soccer coach who first suggested to Vincent that soccer might not be the best sport for him and knowing that Vincent had spent a lot of time in the USA, he wondered if he had every thought about trying American football.  Vincent hadn’t, but thought it was worth a shot.  Already being a young athlete on the verge of becoming a professional, he was able to make some calls and join a college football teams training camp.  When he arrived, most people didn’t think this English kid would turn any heads, but they were very wrong.  Vincent impressed right off the bat.  His physical play and training, along with that little mean streak, adapted to the game flawlessly.  After a few hours of that first days camp, Vincent was told he wouldn’t have a place in the college game, he should immediately declare for the upcoming DSFL draft.  He did that and the rest is history.

Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 200+ words or a graphic)
Choose up to FOUR for 2.5 TPE each.

27. What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why?

I’m going to be a big time homer and say that the best branding in the league is the New Orleans Second Line.  When I first joined the league, I would not have said this at all, the purple colours were pretty awesome but I had no idea what a Second Line was and I didn’t know why the team would be called that.  At first glance, I was drawn to the Honolulu Hahlua, I liked the colour scheme they used and I’m just a fan of Hawaii in general.  But when I was drafted by the New Orleans Second Line and first invited into the locker room, I found the answers to my questions about the team name.  And I really liked the answer and the reasoning.  I’ve always felt that the branding for any team really needs to fit with the city they are located in, and the Second Line is something very specific to the city of New Orleans.  For those who don’t know, the Second Line refers to the iconic parades that take place in the Big Easy, after the main floats go by, the Second Line follows them up, with brass instruments leading the way and dancing in the streets ensue.  To me, nothing is more iconic to New Orleans than this image, happy people dancing in the streets with bright colours and very happy people.  So this is really a case of the team branding complementing the city they are in, which is why I think the New Orleans Second Line have the best branding in the whole ISFL.

29. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this UW, which would mean SHL's PT #2, SMJHL PT #3, and PBE's PT 26-2.


SHL affiliate - PT #2

[Billybolo53]

21. Now thats three seasons on the new sim. What are your thoughts? Do you think that it is better than DDSPF16?


The new sim came in with a ton of fanfare and it has mostly been a positive transition. The old sim had a slew of problems and really limited features as far as game planning. The new sim has added a lot of cool features and in general provides more realistic stats than the old sim. The only negative has been the stream are now much longer than they were before, but that is well worth the cost. We now actually see interception and kick returns in some fashion. We have perks which add a very cool element in player building. Most positions now require about 1200 plus tpe to be maxed as opposed to just over 1000. The thing that is most important to me tho, is the fact that now we have a blue print for switching sims. Once a better sim becomes available we will be much more prepared for the transition. I am hoping that a good alternative eventually comes along because the sim is still the biggest thing holding the isfl back from being one of the better leagues. PBE and SHL will always have a leg up with the quality of sims they have. I love the ISFL community and we really do deserve a grade a sim like the other leagues.

[Vorshayla]

4. “Sim gonna sim” is a popular expression in the league. Write about teams that have been graced by the sim gods and had amazing performances despite statistical odds, and/or about teams that were considered favorites but may have dealt with some bad sim luck that hampered their efforts. How much of an impact did it have on their season(s)?


I think the S28 Butchers were probably one of the most unluckiest teams due to sim luck.  They were coming off a 12-4 season the previous year and had very little regression coming into the season.  Multiple 100 rated players on their team including a secondary that was filled with 80+ players.  Constant standouts, Fjord and Shields would be back for another run at the chip and newly acquired Mamba shore up an already strong existing offensive line for star quarterback O'Donnell.  What was not to like? after all, the previous year the sim had some bad luck for the Butchers in the playoffs, but it couldn't possibly happen two seasons in a row right? 

Well, if the preseason was any indication of how the season would go for the Butchers, the signs should have been there, it was already a very dubious start.  Their preseason record was 3-1, but it look deeper, you'll see that this was not a team that was performing as well as it should on paper, a narrow 4 point win against perennial cellar team Baltimore, followed by wins against the Liberty and the Yeti.  However, the Yeti game needed overtime to decide, so that could have gone either way as well.  

The season started decently enough for these Butchers starting 2-0 with wins against Sarasota and the gimme against the Hawks.  However, this was only to provide the franchise with false hope and morale as this is when their season truly took a dismal turn with some of the most unluckiest results in recent memory.  They lost to the Liberty on a last play, 102 yard Kick off return in week 3 after kicking the game-leading field goal with only 5 seconds left in the 4th quarter.  In week 4, they lost to the Yeti which were about on par with the Butchers on paper, but clearly the Yeti executed better on the field as in that game the Butchers were trailing most of the way.  

Week 5 they lose to the Wraiths on a last minute field goal where they couldn't pull off a KR return to win like what happened to them against the Liberty in week 3.  Week 6 they lose to the Outlaws in overtime on a field goal.  The Butchers very well should have been 4-1 at this point in the season, however, they were 2-3 due to a last second KR return and losing by 3 points to two separate teams in the final minute or in overtime.  At this point in the season, the Butchers season was spiraling out of control due to the sim.  

Week 7 and Week 8 seemed to be a little bit of a respite for the Butchers as they won their games with no last minute shenanigans so it seemed like the sim gods finally turned the corner with the Butchers and kept their hope alive with the locker room coming back to life thinking they could squeeze into the playoffs and cause some damage if their luck would hold out and their players would just play to their capabilities.  But alas, such is not the way of the fickle sim gods.  

Week 9 was more of the same with a last minute field goal lose to the Sabercats, a feeling the Butchers know all too well at this point as apparently, no lead is safe in the last minute of a football game.  Week 10 featured a 4 point loss to the Wraiths who completed the season sweep by winning the two games against the Butchers by a combined score of a single touchdown across both games.  

Week 11 was probably one of the most bizarre finishes in recent memory as well for the Butchers.  They were leading by 6 points with 20 seconds to go.  But remember! no lead is safe for this Butcher team.  Sarasota nailed a 51 yard field goal with 19 seconds left to make it a 3 point Butcher lead.  No problem, they only have 19 seconds left it's in the bag.  Nope, on side kick recovery, and then with only 2 seconds left on the clock, Sarasota nails another 51 yard field goal to get the 3 point win.  The Butchers lost.  To two field goals.  In under 20 seconds.  From more than 50 yards out on both attempts.  This was probably the lowest of the low I have ever seen moral and the hatred for the sim gods.  

The rest of the season ended without much fanfare after this game as I think the Butchers just gave up any and all hope and decided to treat the season as a wash and prepare for the following year.  After experiencing something like that throughout the season I think it's safe to say that "sim gonna sim" has never been more true that it was to the Season 28 Chicago Butchers.   


815 words

[LewisMelville]

Well it is that time of the season again where we are all twiddling our thumbs waiting for the dots to return to our life, so we have some form of normality. For my Ultimus week task I am going to go with Task 3 and do Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Rushmore, I thought this would be an easy task to complete as the Berlin Fire Salamanders have now been around for 4 seasons, so I do not need to go trecking through the dark dusty archives and talk about players and people I did not know existed.
My 4 players (users) for the Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Rushmore are: Highhaschdi (Nick Kaepercolin – Quarterback and General Manager), Dewalt (Asher Quinn – Ex-Cornerback and General Manager) Swanty (Swantavius Jones - Cornerback), and last but not least Joefish (Danny King Jnr, previously known as Joseph Petrongolo – Running back, Wide Receiver aka Swiss Army Knife)

I will start off talking about the only quarterback to ever play under centre for the Berlin Fire Salamanders and that is no other than Nick Kaepercolin who is actually retiring after this season (heartache for Berlin Fire Salamanders) and Asher Quinn and why they are on my Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Rushmore. Well High and Dewalt met during their time at the Balitmore Hawks, they developed a relationship in the war room and were Co General Managers for a season. The reason the Berlin Fire Salamanders are now a team is due to the recent league expansion for season 26. Both High and Dewalt had been interested in an Expansion and when it was announced decided to bid together. The league had recently switched from National Sim Football League to International Sim Football League and international bids were encouraged, their joint bid was successful. High is from Germany and Dewalt’s ancestry is heavily German the location was easy and thus the Berlin Fire Salamanders were born. Nick Kaepercolin is the holder of all passing (and interception) records in the Berlin Fire Salamanders history. His most impressive season came last season where he threw for for 39 touchdowns (a career high) trumping his previous best of 27 passing touchdowns and also had his best ever passer rating of 102.832, both of these are team records. In a few seasons time when we review this version of the Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Rushmore all that will change for Nick Kaepercolin is that we will be talking about him in the past tense and be looking back on his performances with much fondness. This takes me on to my next member of the Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Rushmore and it is none other than High’s Co General Manager Dewalt (Asher Quinn). Now Asher Quinn’s personal numbers may not be as impressive as Nick Kaepercolin’s (he did have 3 interceptions in Berlin’s maiden season) but Asher has been instrumental in nurturing the young defensive backs looking to take over/carry on his Fire Salamander legacy. Most notably he was looking for Defensive captain of Season 26 and season 28 Jeeeeroy Lenkins (I think it's fair to say he definitely was Asher Quinn's prodigy) to fill the void he left behind following his retirement. You cannot have a Mount Rushmore for the Berlin Fire Salamanders without the two General Manager’s; they are Berlin’s version of Beavus and Butt-head.
My next nomination for this Mount Rushmore is none other than the season 26 1st overall draft pick Swantavius (Swanty) Jones. This man is the general of the Berlin Fire Salamanders locker room. He is the main support for both General Manager’s and players alike. He is everything you would look for in a first round pick and more. Swantavius Jones is the life and sole of this Berlin Fire Salamanders defence and is just an all round great guy. He also does a lot of work behind the scenes within Berlin Fire Salamanders and the league in general, a Jack of all trades as such. Despite not having as many season as a defensive captain as Jeeeeroy Lenkins, Swantavius Jones is thought of in the highest regard throughout the locker room and league alike.  In his 2 years years with the Berlin Fire Salamanders Swantavius Jones had over 200 tackles from slot corner, more than 3 forced fumbles. After his first two seasons in the league Swantavius Jones has moved to an outside corner after Matt Krause opted to gain a shit load of weight and move to Offensive Line. Despite the slight change in position for Swantavius Jones he has continued to be the most effective Corner Back on the team. I just want to reiterate if we ever refer back to this Mount Rushmore Swantavius Jones will be here, and the only thing I expect that may change is that his name will be too 2 and possibly first. We might also lose Asher Quinn but there haven't been enough long serving players to do that just yet. Finally we have reached my fourth and final pick for the Berlin Fire Salamander Mount Rushmore, I found this quite easy based on the performances he has had in  every season I have been involved in the team with his stats improving year on year and I still only expect his numbers to get better it is none other than Danny King Jnr also known as Joseph Petrongolo. As you may have noticed earlier I refered to this man as a Swiss army knife. Now he may not be one of the leaders within the team, but what he lacks in leadership he definitely makes up for in ability. Danny King Jnr is dominaint in all aspects of his play last season and broke his previous touchdown rushing record of 12 touchdowns with 13 in season 29. He has also corrected the previous fumbling issue that used to burden his game. On top of breaking his own Berlin Fire Salamander rushing TD record he also broke his own rushing yard record with a whopping 1209 rushing yard total. Despite Berlin Fire Salamanders having 3 solid Wide Receivers to compete with his numbers have not waivered. Even taking into account Berlin Fire Salamanders have always been a pass first team Danny King Jnr is still one of the highest earning fantasy point scorers year on year across the whole league! Without Danny King Jnr contributions on the field it is almost certain that Berlin Fire Salamanders would not have had back to back first round byes and had the highest combined win total over the last two seasons.

If you read this and disagree with any of my selections or feel hurt that you have been left out, that is just tough I am afraid, this is my personal point task and I feel these 4 gents are worthy of their status atop of the Berlin Fire Salamanders Mount Ruhsmore. Asher Quinn may be removed in the not so distant future, I might even add Jeeeeroy Lenkins or C'monnnn Skiupppp in my next one if I decide to do this again.

[Tylus]

10: Tychondrius Hood has had a long career filled with ups and downs, but overall he’s been a force on the football field for many different leagues and teams. Hood began his football career in middle school, when he was scouted by the school’s football coach while playing for the soccer team. Hood would go on to break many school records before graduating and entering high school. Hood was a highly touted recruit from his freshman season and would make the varsity squad during his first year at his new school as well. While leading the team to multiple state championships and breaking a whole other set of school records in the process, Hood would receive offers from nearly a dozen prestigious colleges. These included Florida, FSU, Georgia, Alabama, Auburn, Tennessee, Ohio State, Michigan, and more! After graduating and thinking long and hard about where he wanted to spend his college years, Hood ultimately chose to play for the University of Florida Gators. His college years would have ups and downs as well. Leading his team to a national championship in his rookie year, Hood would begin his college career in the limelight. Unfortunately during his Sophomore season his star quarterback would have a career ending injury, leaving the team in disarray with a shaken young rookie at the QB helm. While having respectable and lights out numbers, the team wouldn’t manage to make it to the big game for the next two years he would spend on the team. After his junior year, Hood announced his intention to join the DSFL draft the following year. The DSFL scouting process for Hood was a lot of fun, with many great teams reaching out to him and making him feel very wanted. Hood would eventually be drafted by the Minnesota Grey Ducks. While with the Grey Ducks Hood would break the teams single season touchdown record, as well as receiving multiple awards during his first season with the team. Afterwards Hood would be drafted into the ISFL by the San Jose Sabercats with the 6th overall pick in the season 23 draft. Hood spent many great years with the Sabercats, winning the ultimus twice in his time with the team. After his 6th season with the team Hood would announce his intention to test free agency, and would be drafted by the Berlin Fire Salamanders. Hood’s first season with the salamanders would go okay, while having decent, but somewhat disappointing stats during the season, an overall amazing team effort would send the Salamanders to the Ultimus where they would sadly lose to the stupid monkeys. And that is where we stand today!

12: Hood came to Berlin expecting to be “the guy” this season. Being completely maxed on a team full of insanely good players on the offensive side of the ball put Hood and his team in a strong position to make a push for the ultimus..but this prompt isn’t about my player, it’s about another player, you just needed a little backstory before I talk about that player. Cmon Skiuuup was slated to be the wide receiver two on the team, and while Hood expected him to have great stats just based on the roster around them, nobody could have predicted how well Skiuup would perform this year. Hood would end up being completely overshadowed and taking a back seat to Skiuup during the season. Skiuup started the season strong and never slowed down at all. For every 100 yards Hood would make, Skiuup would make 150. For every touchdown Hood would catch, Skiuup would catch two of them! Hood would never expect to be the second tier wide receiver while being the wide receiver one in all formations on the field, but Skiuup showed that he was here to be a star and not the other way around. Without the insane performances put on by Skiuup the team would not have been nearly as productive as it was in any sense. While Hood wanted to be the star player for Berlin, having another player fill the role that Hood couldn’t was a blessing for the team, and helped push the Fire Salamanders into a strong Ultimus push. Skiuup was a powerhouse player nearly every game, and gave Hood an inspiration to follow in another life perhaps. Skiuup had MVP level games and performances in nearly every game of the season, and the results from those performances really showed in the team's record. Hood’s prime may not have been what he’d hoped it would be, but having a teammate like Skiuup really made up for the disappointment Tychondrius might have had. If Skiuup can have a season like this as the wide receiver two, I can not imagine how amazing he’ll be when he replaces Hood as the primary receiver for the Fire Salamanders. As Hood’s career enters it’s twilight years, Skiuup will step into the role Hood was in, and will assuredly put up the type of performances Hood could only dream about having in that role. Berlin is lucky to have a receiver as talented as Cmon Skiuup, and will have many great seasons ahead of them with him at the receiver helm.