Dear San Jose

[daBenchwarmer]

snip

did u qualify tho

[tlk742]

I love numbers and i'm bored, lets do this real fast.

Ethan Hunt, now known as Gosh Jarden was a waste of a player in San Jose. I'm glad he's found success in Yellowknife, but let's be real, with the RFA tag, he didn't lose out on much. Maybe the Legion could have signed him, but that would have been a sideways move. Berc and Garden were about on par, and to be frank Berc would have done just as well here as he would have in Las Vegas.

But's let's delve deeper into why Gosh Jarden was just so much of a waste of space on the San Jose Sabercats.

You probably know that San Jose had a turnover machine of a defense this year, but did you know that they did last year as well? In fact, they had a crazy 27 total turnovers that they created. Here's the crazy thing, despite all this San Jose Sabercats finished with 5 total wins that season. Yes, the run game sucked and yes my suspension did not help, but when you cannot manage to win after your team gives you ample opportunity and you have Shane Weston and Mayran Jackson to throw to, the problem lies solely in you. Moreover, one really neat fact, every positive record that Garden set during his tenure was more or less broken by Orosz this season, Durden's records still stand though.

Now, let's get to the crux of the matter, why Garden, who was on a team that fell backwadrs into the playoffs is so better that his older team got their first winning season and overall had a better record without him. First off, his attitude. We all butt heads, and we all have issues, but Garden was nothing short of a locker room cancer. Dude rarely brought a positive attitude to anything and often would quick to fire a verbal barrage at any player who said anything.

Garden was a diva with a silver spoon, the second he had to work for his gig, or be at risk of losing it, and used as a backup plan, he had a hissy fit. He wasn't as good as Boss, he wasn't as good as Bronko and certainly wasn't as good as orosz.

So yeah, in summation, San Jose didn't make the playoffs, but overall as a team, and as a locker room we are better off without him.

Come after me, that's fine, come after my team though and I got issues.

[White Cornerback]

Berc and Garden were about on par, and to be frank Berc would have done just as well here as he would have in Las Vegas.

@Ballerstorm TD this man

[iamslm22]

Sorry only people with two championship rings can comment for now on.

Your sig of 1 more than Stormblessed gets me every fucking time. I love it.

[Kendrick]

Your sig of 1 more than Stormblessed gets me every fucking time. I love it.

He loves it too.

[Bzerkap]

I love numbers and i'm bored, lets do this real fast.

Ethan Hunt, now known as Gosh Jarden was a waste of a player in San Jose.  I'm glad he's found success in Yellowknife, but let's be real, with the RFA tag, he didn't lose out on much.  Maybe the Legion could have signed him, but that would have been a sideways move.  Berc and Garden were about on par, and to be frank Berc would have done just as well here as he would have in Las Vegas.

But's let's delve deeper into why Gosh Jarden was just so much of a waste of space on the San Jose Sabercats.

You probably know that San Jose had a turnover machine of a defense this year, but did you know that they did last year as well?  In fact, they had a crazy 27 total turnovers that they created.  Here's the crazy thing, despite all this San Jose Sabercats finished with 5 total wins that season.  Yes, the run game sucked and yes my suspension did not help, but when you cannot manage to win after your team gives you ample opportunity and you have Shane Weston and Mayran Jackson to throw to, the problem lies solely in you.  Moreover, one really neat fact, every positive record that Garden set during his tenure was more or less broken by Orosz this season, Durden's records still stand though.

Now, let's get to the crux of the matter, why Garden, who was on a team that fell backwadrs into the playoffs is so better that his older team got their first winning season and overall had a better record without him.  First off, his attitude.  We all butt heads, and we all have issues, but Garden was nothing short of a locker room cancer.  Dude rarely brought a positive attitude to anything and often would quick to fire a verbal barrage at any player who said anything.

Garden was a diva with a silver spoon, the second he had to work for his gig, or be at risk of losing it, and used as a backup plan, he had a hissy fit.  He wasn't as good as Boss, he wasn't as good as Bronko and certainly wasn't as good as orosz.

So yeah, in summation, San Jose didn't make the playoffs, but overall as a team, and as a locker room we are better off without him.

Come after me, that's fine, come after my team though and I got issues.

We didn’t fall backwards into the playoffs. We beat good teams. Yours included

[jaskins811]

I love numbers and i'm bored, lets do this real fast.

Ethan Hunt, now known as Gosh Jarden was a waste of a player in San Jose.  I'm glad he's found success in Yellowknife, but let's be real, with the RFA tag, he didn't lose out on much.  Maybe the Legion could have signed him, but that would have been a sideways move.  Berc and Garden were about on par, and to be frank Berc would have done just as well here as he would have in Las Vegas.

But's let's delve deeper into why Gosh Jarden was just so much of a waste of space on the San Jose Sabercats.

You probably know that San Jose had a turnover machine of a defense this year, but did you know that they did last year as well?  In fact, they had a crazy 27 total turnovers that they created.  Here's the crazy thing, despite all this San Jose Sabercats finished with 5 total wins that season.  Yes, the run game sucked and yes my suspension did not help, but when you cannot manage to win after your team gives you ample opportunity and you have Shane Weston and Mayran Jackson to throw to, the problem lies solely in you.  Moreover, one really neat fact, every positive record that Garden set during his tenure was more or less broken by Orosz this season, Durden's records still stand though.

Now, let's get to the crux of the matter, why Garden, who was on a team that fell backwadrs into the playoffs is so better that his older team got their first winning season and overall had a better record without him.  First off, his attitude.  We all butt heads, and we all have issues, but Garden was nothing short of a locker room cancer.  Dude rarely brought a positive attitude to anything and often would quick to fire a verbal barrage at any player who said anything.

Garden was a diva with a silver spoon, the second he had to work for his gig, or be at risk of losing it, and used as a backup plan, he had a hissy fit.  He wasn't as good as Boss, he wasn't as good as Bronko and certainly wasn't as good as orosz.

So yeah, in summation, San Jose didn't make the playoffs, but overall as a team, and as a locker room we are better off without him.

Come after me, that's fine, come after my team though and I got issues.

You mad?

[124715]

We didn’t fall backwards into the playoffs. We beat good teams. Yours included

WE fell backwards into the playoffs. We lucked into a 6-0 conference record.

@Kendrick your sig is and always will be great unless the Hawks somehow manage to win an Ultimus ) ) :hmm:

[bovovovo]

I love numbers and i'm bored, lets do this real fast.

Ethan Hunt, now known as Gosh Jarden was a waste of a player in San Jose.  I'm glad he's found success in Yellowknife, but let's be real, with the RFA tag, he didn't lose out on much.  Maybe the Legion could have signed him, but that would have been a sideways move.  Berc and Garden were about on par, and to be frank Berc would have done just as well here as he would have in Las Vegas.

But's let's delve deeper into why Gosh Jarden was just so much of a waste of space on the San Jose Sabercats.

You probably know that San Jose had a turnover machine of a defense this year, but did you know that they did last year as well?  In fact, they had a crazy 27 total turnovers that they created.  Here's the crazy thing, despite all this San Jose Sabercats finished with 5 total wins that season.  Yes, the run game sucked and yes my suspension did not help, but when you cannot manage to win after your team gives you ample opportunity and you have Shane Weston and Mayran Jackson to throw to, the problem lies solely in you.  Moreover, one really neat fact, every positive record that Garden set during his tenure was more or less broken by Orosz this season, Durden's records still stand though.

Now, let's get to the crux of the matter, why Garden, who was on a team that fell backwadrs into the playoffs is so better that his older team got their first winning season and overall had a better record without him.  First off, his attitude.  We all butt heads, and we all have issues, but Garden was nothing short of a locker room cancer.  Dude rarely brought a positive attitude to anything and often would quick to fire a verbal barrage at any player who said anything.

Garden was a diva with a silver spoon, the second he had to work for his gig, or be at risk of losing it, and used as a backup plan, he had a hissy fit.  He wasn't as good as Boss, he wasn't as good as Bronko and certainly wasn't as good as orosz.

So yeah, in summation, San Jose didn't make the playoffs, but overall as a team, and as a locker room we are better off without him.

Come after me, that's fine, come after my team though and I got issues.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Hunt/Jarden. His strengths are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of simulation physics most of his skills will go over a typical NSFL player’s head.

There's also @daBenchwarmer's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The Wraiths understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Hunt/Jarden truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in @daBenchwarmer's existencial catchphrase "fuk u bitch," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as @daBenchwarmer's genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. ????

And yes by the way, I DO have an Ethan Hunt tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 TPE points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

[daBenchwarmer]

snip

tl;dr salt

also when did Garden play QB?