This is a conspiracy of the utmost disgust and sadness. You will shake, and quake, in your boots when you hear of it. The dastardly and vile deed committed by the BALTIMORE Hawks is something that only the most destitute of society could dream of doing.
Baltimore head GM @HENDRIX was at the S6 scouting combine, looking at the new talent, when his phone rang. It was none other than Jonathan Shaloiko, Hawk fan favorite, and leading candidate for their ring of honor. Well, Shaloiko had just gotten back from his multi-year mission trip in the Congo, and he wanted to come back into the fold. Hendrix said yes immediately; the ability to add a receiver of his quality does not come around very often. Before Shaloiko could even respond, Hendrix blurted out a contract of $29,000,000 over four years. Obviously, this was some great money, and Shaloiko accepted, heading over to Baltimore to take the physical. Shaloiko took the physical and it all cleared, and Jonathan was ready to put ink to paper. Well, at that exact moment, famed receiver Zobot StoneHands was let go by the San Jose SaberCats, and Shaloiko mysteriously failed his physical as announced by Hendrix. When pressed he only had this to say,
"While Shaloiko was helping the poor of this world, he contracted Ebola in the Congo. Now, I don't know how this is gonna shake out in the locker room, but our medical staff just can't take any chances."
With that, the contract was void and a mysterious traveler by the name of Robot GoodHands was seen traveling to Baltimore from San Jose.
It is this reporters opinion that the Hawks clearly did not want to sign Shaloiko once a proven commodity was on the market and made up a false rumor to get out of a bad contract offered to Mr. Shaloiko. Hawks GM Hendrix should be ashamed of themselves.
We reached out to Jonathan over social media, and he only had one thing to say,
"I don't think I have the skill set they're looking for...run deep, and try to draw a PI flag..."
@`To12143` @bovo
Baltimore head GM @HENDRIX was at the S6 scouting combine, looking at the new talent, when his phone rang. It was none other than Jonathan Shaloiko, Hawk fan favorite, and leading candidate for their ring of honor. Well, Shaloiko had just gotten back from his multi-year mission trip in the Congo, and he wanted to come back into the fold. Hendrix said yes immediately; the ability to add a receiver of his quality does not come around very often. Before Shaloiko could even respond, Hendrix blurted out a contract of $29,000,000 over four years. Obviously, this was some great money, and Shaloiko accepted, heading over to Baltimore to take the physical. Shaloiko took the physical and it all cleared, and Jonathan was ready to put ink to paper. Well, at that exact moment, famed receiver Zobot StoneHands was let go by the San Jose SaberCats, and Shaloiko mysteriously failed his physical as announced by Hendrix. When pressed he only had this to say,
"While Shaloiko was helping the poor of this world, he contracted Ebola in the Congo. Now, I don't know how this is gonna shake out in the locker room, but our medical staff just can't take any chances."
With that, the contract was void and a mysterious traveler by the name of Robot GoodHands was seen traveling to Baltimore from San Jose.
It is this reporters opinion that the Hawks clearly did not want to sign Shaloiko once a proven commodity was on the market and made up a false rumor to get out of a bad contract offered to Mr. Shaloiko. Hawks GM Hendrix should be ashamed of themselves.
We reached out to Jonathan over social media, and he only had one thing to say,
"I don't think I have the skill set they're looking for...run deep, and try to draw a PI flag..."
@`To12143` @bovo
![[Image: KBSOmDX.png]](http://i.imgur.com/KBSOmDX.png)
![[Image: bzerkap.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/bzerkap.gif)
