*Bubba Thumper Pre-Draft Presser

[KillaScrilla]

A small stage is set for one in the media room at the University of Tennessee's Neyland Stadium. The soft rumble of a small crowd of media members can be heard; it may just be one player, but this is still the SEC. The aforementioned player enters, all 6'4" and 310 lbs of him filling the space behind the microphone. His signature goofy grin is plastered on his face as usual, but it does not match the nervous look in his eyes; Bubba Thumper is clearly not used to the spotlight.

"Howdy y'all. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm open to any questions you have. I guess let's begin."


"Honestly, I'm happy wherever I can contribute, so as long as a team values a big guy who likes to play in the backfield stopping the run, I'd be thrilled to play there."


"Jayce Tuck comes to mind. The goal is to play my game, and give my team chances to win. Tuck lived in opposing backfields, and I hope to do the same."


"Lots of barbecue. I'm fortunate to have lived in two great states for barbecue. Plenty of Hispanic food when I was young. Still go for that when I can find an authentic place. We ate good in Texas, and I ate almost as good here in Tennessee."


"Waffles for sure. Pancakes have nothing on chicken and waffles."


The nervous energy seems to fade out of Thumper's eyes, and his goofy grin stretches wider as he relaxes. He's clearly relieved to be talking to a fellow player.

"Listen, J, I gotta be honest with you. One year in Tennessee, I don't expect that to be enough to impress people as much as you have in your time at Georgia. I'm not expecting to go early, I'm just hoping to contribute and compete. So, if I'm honest, I take you first, and then I try to grab me later."

The grin grows wider still, and Thumper covers the microphone as he calls for somebody backstage. A couple of people appear with another microphone and a second chair, and set them alongside Thumper's.

"Why don't you come up here and we can team up for a change? Anybody got questions for J?"

Walks up to the podium and takes a seat next to B. “ First off let me say thanks to B for allowing me to join him. I in no way mean any disrespect to a great player. Secondly, he’s being a humble guy because this man can straight dominate anyone. He gets as many sacks a game as pancakes he eats in a sitting.” Everyone laughs.

“I’ll take questions but I’m not here to take away from his light, today anyway.”