S17 ULTIMUS WEEK!!!

[Beaver]

6) Our Time
    Written: Why should your team be looked at the favorite to win the Ultimus or Ultimini this season.
Graphics: Show with a graphic why your team is/was the best team.

austin is definitely the ultimus favorite next season because the most important factor in deciding ultimus victories is not tpe it is not speed it is not strength it is not activity it is nothing like that it is spasticity I mean look at the history of the ultimus champions and show me a team that wasn't full of absolute spastic I'll wait actually no I won't because I would be waiting forever and wouldn't be able to finish this task so point is austin has an IMMENSE amount of spasticity on their roster and that bodes very well for winning the ultimus as we have already seen I mean they have me who is one of the most spazzy sim leaguer users and then there's dermot which same and then wbf the chief ape himself and then sovereign citizen kane is a lowkey spaz as is run cmc and sdcore can be spazzy when he feels like it and out of all the nsfl gms I feel like adam is definitely the spazziest so I mean we're the team that spent multiple hours dishing out milk react emojis in nsfl general and weeks later still does sometimes and does that not remind you of new orleans circa season 7 or 8 or whatever right before the run of 4 straight ultimus appearances because it does for me

7) Next year
    Written: If your team has been eliminated, why will the next year, or the year after that, be the year that your team is going to win the Ultimus or Ultimini.
Graphics: Create a statistical summary of what improvements your team has made from the previous year or why your team was better than their record.

well you see even though austin was eliminated next year is the year we won the ultimus because I have this novel idea that I have never discussed anywhere or written about anywhere before this exact ultimus week task that says the teams with the spazziest users on the team have the best chance of winning the ultimus which I know is crazy to think about but hear me out and wait no don't hear me out load up the list of ultimus winners and look at how spazzy those rosters are and then look at the austin roster and I mean is there a bigger group of spazzes in the league right now I don't think so but maybe there is I have not been keeping close tabs on where spazzes wind up so I suppose it is possible but there is a fantastic core of spazziness in austin that reminds everyone of the new orleans second line in season 6 or season 7 or season 8 or whatever was right before the run of 4 straight ultimus appearances and 2 championships so yeah that is why austin is going to win the ultimus next year or the year after that or the year after that or maybe the year after that or most likely all of the above

9)  Enemies
Written: Not everyone loves each other, write 200 words on an opposing player or player in this year's playoffs about how they will struggle, why do you want them to lose? (Don't be too mean).
Graphic: Create a graphic of a player showing maybe they are overrated with statistical back up, or a statistical prediction of what they will do in the game.

I am writing about the philadelphia liberty because while we are not really enemies per se I have historically smoked them and then they go and hire my arch nemesis iamslm22 who I absolutely do not get along with to be their co Gm so I suppose are kind of enemies but not really but kind of I mean you only have to go a couple ultimus weeks back to see my detailing of philadelphia's dismal record against me throughout my time on the site I mean I honestly think they went 6 seasons without ever beating me and then they hire @iamslm22 who has never once beaten me in any sim league I mean come on this is a recipe for disaster as a chef might say so while I don't want them to lose per se since I don't particuarly care one way or the other I am saying that they will lose a lot wait shit philadelphia didn't make the playoff heck I guess I shouldn't be surprised lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ok so instead of philadelphia I will say that the otters are my enemy because they stole pftn from new orleans and made maj's life miserable and various other offenses so I hope they lose in these and every playoffs the end

10) Rivalries
    Written: Write about another team and why they are overrated and why you want them to lose.
    Graphic: Show a statistical representation of why said team is overrated.

hmmm if I had to pick another team that is over rated and that team does not have to be in the playoffs because the prompt does not specify that hmmmmmmmmm I have to give this some though hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I think I would go with the philadelphia liberty and I know what you're thinking - yeah this isn't really a rivalry but they are going to start feeling rivalrous toward austin when they lose every game ever against us because they as a franchise are unable to beat me a single time in their history and they just hired @iamslm22 as co GM who also is totally and completely unable to beat me a single time in his history on the site yes sir not a single time has a team slm has been on beaten a team I have been on and really we could open this up to the entire sim league universe and slm still has never ever beaten a team I have been on in any of those leagues so while I'm not sure I want the libs to lose I have 100 per cent confidence that they will because they always have and always will so it is kinda sad when you think about it but then you remember it's a philadelphia and stop feeling bad for them and instead enjoy the schadenfreude