I want to make an announcement.
I have been planning this for a while, but I want to make it known.
On January 9th, 2020, I will be stepping down as commissioner. That will be my 2 year HO anniversary. I will also be leaving the site.
I have ruined this league. Under my commissioning tenure the NSFL has almost folded several times. Under me jobs have been at crisis levels almost constantly. HO morale has been incredibly low.
People clearly want me gone. The simmer just resigned because of a decision I made and has now left the league. I still stand by that decision, but Its clear the people want me gone. S18 even has said so multiple times. I am not in touch and even what i think is right ends up ruining everything. I know everyone dislikes me and this league would have been so much better if i was never in it. I messed up everything and i'm so sorry.
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for my whole tenure. Under my tenure my ex attempted suicide because we got into an argument. I had a couple of full breakdowns because of alcohol where i made threats to my friends that I would take my own life, including one that led me to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I have currently been on a 7 month job search that has totally demoralized me and also led me to having suicidal thoughts. I have had a bad case of imposter syndrome and it has led me to occasionally be belligerent. I have tried to stay calm and collected but as many can attest i have let my emotions often get the better of me in chats lately because its all been building up. For those who dont know, Frick was supposed to take over as commissioner, but he left to be a GM. I should have been gone by now but I was not, and clearly it shows. Also before this league started I had an ex girlfriend who lied about having cancer and cheated on me during finals week. I'm better from it now but it has never really stopped hurting. Obamacare reform has taken away my mental health coverage so I am not able to do therapy or take any medication. I think its time to turn a new leaf. This sim league has been a great and wonderful experience but I cannot help but feel paranoid that everyone hates me, and that I feel like certain members on the site have a wish to harass me until I leave and are waiting for the day I go with cheers, and also that I have done so much bad for the league that once I thought this league would end under my watch. This sim league has never caused me to want to hurt myself, but It has definitely been overall tearing me apart from the inside. After enduring fuck HO comments for almost 2 years I have almost no wuill to be in this community and every day i log on it hurts. I'm crying as im typing this right now, but I just cant keep this in anymore. I was hoping to leave quietly to no fanfare but ive already fucked that up too by making DD quit. I only do it because I care about this league and I dont want to be the guy that everyone looks back on and says "hey that fucker killed the league we liked, he was the worst." But its just so hard. I feel like this community would be better without me and i feel like if i stayed around all that would happen would be people would attack me. I just need a break and im sorry that i am making such a big deal of this, its silly and over emotional and its not something a good commissioner would ever do. But i know im a bad commissioner already and just recent stuff has triggered my emotions. I'm sorry
I will be staying around to help my successor, just to help them know what they need to know. when I took over i was thrown into the fire and it ended up ruining everything and I hope that my successor never has to deal with that, so I will do everythign I can to help them. I know that they will be amazing and make this league great, something I was never able to do.
I'm sorry everyone. I failed you. All I can hope for is one day you will forget about this time period in league history and only remember the great times that other people have done, and no one will remember my username.
I'm so sorry
I have been planning this for a while, but I want to make it known.
On January 9th, 2020, I will be stepping down as commissioner. That will be my 2 year HO anniversary. I will also be leaving the site.
I have ruined this league. Under my commissioning tenure the NSFL has almost folded several times. Under me jobs have been at crisis levels almost constantly. HO morale has been incredibly low.
People clearly want me gone. The simmer just resigned because of a decision I made and has now left the league. I still stand by that decision, but Its clear the people want me gone. S18 even has said so multiple times. I am not in touch and even what i think is right ends up ruining everything. I know everyone dislikes me and this league would have been so much better if i was never in it. I messed up everything and i'm so sorry.
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for my whole tenure. Under my tenure my ex attempted suicide because we got into an argument. I had a couple of full breakdowns because of alcohol where i made threats to my friends that I would take my own life, including one that led me to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I have currently been on a 7 month job search that has totally demoralized me and also led me to having suicidal thoughts. I have had a bad case of imposter syndrome and it has led me to occasionally be belligerent. I have tried to stay calm and collected but as many can attest i have let my emotions often get the better of me in chats lately because its all been building up. For those who dont know, Frick was supposed to take over as commissioner, but he left to be a GM. I should have been gone by now but I was not, and clearly it shows. Also before this league started I had an ex girlfriend who lied about having cancer and cheated on me during finals week. I'm better from it now but it has never really stopped hurting. Obamacare reform has taken away my mental health coverage so I am not able to do therapy or take any medication. I think its time to turn a new leaf. This sim league has been a great and wonderful experience but I cannot help but feel paranoid that everyone hates me, and that I feel like certain members on the site have a wish to harass me until I leave and are waiting for the day I go with cheers, and also that I have done so much bad for the league that once I thought this league would end under my watch. This sim league has never caused me to want to hurt myself, but It has definitely been overall tearing me apart from the inside. After enduring fuck HO comments for almost 2 years I have almost no wuill to be in this community and every day i log on it hurts. I'm crying as im typing this right now, but I just cant keep this in anymore. I was hoping to leave quietly to no fanfare but ive already fucked that up too by making DD quit. I only do it because I care about this league and I dont want to be the guy that everyone looks back on and says "hey that fucker killed the league we liked, he was the worst." But its just so hard. I feel like this community would be better without me and i feel like if i stayed around all that would happen would be people would attack me. I just need a break and im sorry that i am making such a big deal of this, its silly and over emotional and its not something a good commissioner would ever do. But i know im a bad commissioner already and just recent stuff has triggered my emotions. I'm sorry
I will be staying around to help my successor, just to help them know what they need to know. when I took over i was thrown into the fire and it ended up ruining everything and I hope that my successor never has to deal with that, so I will do everythign I can to help them. I know that they will be amazing and make this league great, something I was never able to do.
I'm sorry everyone. I failed you. All I can hope for is one day you will forget about this time period in league history and only remember the great times that other people have done, and no one will remember my username.
I'm so sorry
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