Actually We Do Need Him

[infinitempg]

It turns out that it is really hard to play offense without anybody pretending to play QB, so...

QB Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff McDummy @infinitempg
S24: $4M
S25: $4M (MO)
S26: $4M (MO)
S27: $4M (MO)

Colorado additionally promises to put Wolfeschleglsteinhausenbergerdorff down mercifully when the time comes.

At the time of signing, Wolfie McDummy has 986 TPE.

smh didn't even reach out to negotiate my contract

i will not sign until the following is added:

• every august 1st is declared "wolfie day"
• all yeti must provide at least one treat a week to wolfie, preferably bacon flavored
• wolfie is immune from any responsibilities in the yeti locker room or war room
• the yeti will pay for colorblind therapy so that wolfie learns which team is his
• the yeti must create and release a stuffed "wolfie mcdummy" plush for sale to wolfie's fans
• wolfie will no longer be banned from the locker room couches
• wolfie will no longer have to pose for pictures with a cardboard sign shaming him for throwing pick sixes
• woelkers will not yell at wolfie for chasing rabbits

thank you and bork bork