S25 - PT1 - Opening Statements
Frankly, I don't know a whole lot about the league. But I do know this. Wolfie McDummy should be a lock for the Hall of Fame. I know this may be hard to believe, but I intend to destroy your feeble mind with FACTS and LOGIC. First of all, before his onfield stats, Wolfie is a trailblazer. Not the Portland sneak-into-playoffs-with-a-losing-record kind, but the inspiring kind. Wolfie is the first ever ISFL quarterback to be a dog .....since Borkus Maximus. But Borkus had a dog head. Wolfie is all dog, minus the times he mysteriously morphs into a Kyler Murray-esque figure in league graphics. Do you know how hard it is to throw a football with opposable thumbs? Extremely. So there's that, but there's also his stellar record. Wolfie has led the Colorado Yeti to seven straight winning seasons, including 2 championship runs, one of which was won in such a way that it will go down as the greatest comeback of all time-- and in the Ultimus!!! It takes a special player to lead his team like this. And at the individual level, Wolfie cannot stop setting records. He is quickly climbing the career completions leadership, has one of the longest rushes of all time, and will pass the infamous 30,000 career passing yards mark this season. He is truly amazing. ...we're gonna not talk about the interceptions leaderboard.
Most importantly, he is a good boi, and he loves treatos. This is FACTUAL informational. If you disagree, I will fight you.
(252 words)
Frankly, I don't know a whole lot about the league. But I do know this. Wolfie McDummy should be a lock for the Hall of Fame. I know this may be hard to believe, but I intend to destroy your feeble mind with FACTS and LOGIC. First of all, before his onfield stats, Wolfie is a trailblazer. Not the Portland sneak-into-playoffs-with-a-losing-record kind, but the inspiring kind. Wolfie is the first ever ISFL quarterback to be a dog .....since Borkus Maximus. But Borkus had a dog head. Wolfie is all dog, minus the times he mysteriously morphs into a Kyler Murray-esque figure in league graphics. Do you know how hard it is to throw a football with opposable thumbs? Extremely. So there's that, but there's also his stellar record. Wolfie has led the Colorado Yeti to seven straight winning seasons, including 2 championship runs, one of which was won in such a way that it will go down as the greatest comeback of all time-- and in the Ultimus!!! It takes a special player to lead his team like this. And at the individual level, Wolfie cannot stop setting records. He is quickly climbing the career completions leadership, has one of the longest rushes of all time, and will pass the infamous 30,000 career passing yards mark this season. He is truly amazing. ...we're gonna not talk about the interceptions leaderboard.
Most importantly, he is a good boi, and he loves treatos. This is FACTUAL informational. If you disagree, I will fight you.
(252 words)
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![[Image: HtYhYYf.png]](https://i.imgur.com/HtYhYYf.png)
