(S26) - PT 3 - Oh, the Who-manity!

[Menace0528]

Marlon Brando is from Nebraska, and if there’s one thing Nebraska is known for, it’s soup. As for what kind of soup, nobody knows. But lately, due to the fact that absolutely nobody lives in Nebraska, soup shop owners are going bankrupt. So to serve the community, he’ll go back to his hometown in Nebraska and buy all of the soup from the soup shop owners. After buying all the soup, he will consume it to gain the powers of the soup. You ever try to block soup? You can’t. I’ll be able to slide right past offensive linemen and sack the qb every play. I assume most people here have never had nebraskan soup before, so you cannot guarantee to me that it does not give you soupy powers. By consuming all the soup of Nebraska, not only will I have gained magical properties similar to that of soup, but i will also have singlehandedly saved the Nebraska soup industry. Okay so maybe i’m lying and i wouldn’t actually gain the physical properties of soup, and maybe there isn’t a soup industry in Nebraska. But still, I’d say saving failing businesses from bankruptcy counts as a community service. So that’s what Marlon Brando would do as a community service.

(210 words)