(S29) Ultimus Week

hotdog · (This post was last modified: 07-06-2021, 05:19 PM by hotdog.)

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29. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this UW, which would mean SHL's PT #2, SMJHL PT #3, and PBE's PT 26-2.

SHL PT

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26. Football is a game that has been going on for a while, loved by fans all over. But what if you were able to make some rule changes? Talk us through your new version of football, and what would be different and why?

There are lots of wild and wacky rule changes for football I've heard proposed, most of which are really dumb. Once in college I was hanging out with some friends and another guy was also hanging out with us (not our friend really) and he suggested that the players should be able to have laser swords attached to their helmets and that'd make things really interesting - obviously that's a really dumb idea so here's my better one: A rule change for football that I would propose is instead of the typical out of bounds shaded in white we replace that with a 8 foot deep moat. No crocodiles or anything like that just a moat of water going around the field like where the current out of bounds is. No longer will we need to go to replay review for 2 feet in! (yeah we still actually will have to do that though.) But it'd be funny to see receivers and corners battling for a jump ball on the sideline and maybe their momentum carries both of them out and now they have to play the rest of the game really wet. Ain't nothing worse than having wet socks! late tackles out of bounds would no longer be a common penalty since the player out of bounds will be swimming. I guess maybe you could put a couple of small fish in there as well and maybe a player can grab a quick midgame snack of fish.

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28. Choose one existing award. Tell us why you think a certain player should win that award this season. Stats, or anything else possible should be used to support your case.

Not exactly an award (since I don't believe there is an award for this) but let's make the case for an all-pro spot, specifically the fullback spot. Also maybe there is a fullback of the year award! And if not there should be! Anyway, whichever form it takes, Deadly Memes (formerly known as gunner thorbjornsson) of the Arizona Outlaws should be recognized as the top fullback of the season in S29. Memes had 52 pancakes, 10 more than any actual FB and like 700 more yards than any other FB. Memes has long been known as a receiving back, perhaps due to his past as a wide receiver, but strapped on the pads extra tight this season and became more blocking-focused, and that work has paid off big time. Memes lined up at fullback in every Arizona formation that had one, and lead blocked for the prosperous Tatsu Nakamura, who ran behind Memes for yet another stellar season at halfback. Perhaps Deadly Memes should be overlooked, though, for his dumb name, which is dumb and bad, but if you look only at the stats, the case for Memes is clear as an Arizona night! I guess only time will tell how the division of labor looks in the Arizona backfield next season, but let's hope Memes can soon get the recognition he deserves!

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15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)

I'd make the case for cornerback Colt Mendoza as S29 Ultimus MVP - a rare feat for a defensive player but I reckon within the storyline of the game that Mendoza deserves it. In the first quarter it was 10-0 Silverbacks with the Fire Salamanders driving - New York had gotten off to a hot start but nothing insurmountable until Mendoza picked off a Nick Kaepercolin pass intended for Ty Hood and brought it back 54 yards to the house to make the game 17-0. 17 point lead in the first quarter isn't game over but it radically changes the rest of the game, so Mendoza, owner of the biggest play in the game, gets the honor here. He was also a force elsewhere, leading the team with 9 tackles (likely due to the pass-heavy approach that comes when you're losing by 17) and added a pass deflection as well. Mendoza spent his trip to Disneyland trying lots of various foods from around the park. He is rich and has lots of money so he went around to the different stands and bought one of each item and had one bite of each to try it and then gave the rest to some kid who wanted it which is a little weird but the kids were eager to eat the other 3/4 of a corn dog after the Ultimus MVP has the first 1/4!