(S31) PT 3 - Investments

[shrub02]

Knowing how many players do not use their money wisely, our coach made it mandatory to meet with our teams financial advisor at least once or we wouldn't get playing time. Bender can't stay off the field so I went to the meeting just to see what this chump had to say. Can you believe this: he went on and on blabbing about investment vehicles, 401k's, and property values. I mean who the hell is Roth? I don't know that meatbag and would never trust him with my earnings. He did mentions something robo investing and that caught my attention, seeing how we have superior intellect to you dumb humans. After listening to the advisor, I slapped him across the face for wasting my time and walked out. I would make my own robo investing strategy. I went straight from the team facility to the cino, placed a million dollar bet on black, and promptly lost the bet. No worries. I'll double down! I won that bet and a few more, took that money and went to the local pawn shop, and bought a bunch of burglar kits. From there I flew to each city that has an ISFL team and formed criminal gangs comprised of children whose job it would be to pickpocket and mug ISFL fans as they are drunk and leaving the stadium. In short, the ISFL will be my retirement plan hehehehe