(S31) PT 4 - Dirt

[shrub02]

Oh boy. With a nefarious past (and present) like Bender's, this reporter could be talking about anything really. For starters it could be that Bender drinks and smokes cigars on the field during games. But this is well known knowledge and he has already been fined several times for that. hmmm what else could this mysterious dirt be? Bender recently flirted with the mafia's Donbot's wife and got kicked out of a casino because of it. No, that's too mild to be real dirt. Maybe it's that Bender once slapped his general manager because he chose to put up a statue commemorating somebody not named Bender. Nah, that can't be it either. The GM deserved it. Oh, I know! The dirt on Bender is probably that he owns and operates a football making factory in Mexico that "employs" children. Wait no, that's probably legal down there. Ok, ok I got it. Bender has also been skimming small amounts of money from each of his teammates totaling $4 million a season for the past 4 seasons. Yeah, this is definitely it. The release of this information could jeopardize Bender's relationships with his teammates. This cannot be allowed to happen. Upon hearing about this potential leak Bender would go straight to the reporter's office and smash his left knee with a baseball bat as a warning. If this information gets out, the other knee would have the same fate. Following this incident, the reporter immediately retracted the story. What a chump

Code:

249 words