(S7) - Weekend PT 1 - Training Regimen

[RedCydranth]

Telling me to not get weird is like telling Tom Brady to not win.

Marc has traveled the globe numerous times and has extensively studied history, culture and pretty much anything related to anthropology. In doing so, he's lived among the Hutus in Rwanda, Brunei Malay of Brunei, Cañari of Ecuador among many others. He has picked up small bits of tradition from each. Before Marc exits his bedroom in the morning, he stands on his head for 5 minutes. This moves all the blood to his head, so when he quickly stands up, he passes right out. Western medicine likes to think feinting is a bad thing, but the body gets quite refreshed by doing so. It is approximated that your brain cells' activity spike to over 250% for at least an hour after a feinting spell. This is when Marc is able to focus the most. The last 3 seasons, Marc passed out before the Ultimus game, his team mates thought it was nerves, but it was Marc sharpening his mental acuity. From a dietary perspective, Marc is the only one in his locker room who drinks Yak Milk. It's thick and sludgy but the nutrients it contains enhance muscle growth and slow the aging process. Ever wonder how those Shaolin monks in Tibet are so strong and live until they're like 110? Yak's Milk. He mixes Yak's Milk with freshly steamed rice and eats it before every session at the Gym. Although he encourages his team mates to try it, none do. Possibly because the terrible side effect of Yak's Milk is the horrendous flatulence that accompanies it several hours later.

(260 Words)

[Drizzy]

In order to gain a little offseason bulk, Cordell Joshua has been engaging in a fad diet routine called GOMAD. GOMAD is an acronym that stands for "gallon of milk a day", and as you guessed, invokes drinking a full gallon of whole milk each and every day on top of the normal diet you would eat in that time. Entering the offseason Cordell weighed in at a lean 275 pounds, but with the help of his new calorie intake his weight has managed to balloon even more and the gut that he's sporting now as a result looks incredibly alluring. The decision to add several pounds of pure fat to Cordell's frame will hopefully work wonders in pushing him over the line into being a real force on the defensive line during his second season in the NSFL, and perhaps this new fat will be the difference between the Sabercats getting past the Otters in the Conference final this season.

Code:

161 words

[JuOSu]

Working out has been a major focus for me in the off-season. I trained every day and lifted a lot of weights to get stronger. I also trained my endurance a lot, by running on the treadmill for an hour and a half every day. It can be really fun actually, with music in my ear or a show on a tablet, the time goes fast. Beyond that, just trying to be more agile with some workouts designed for that like the cone drill. In the off-season I also got into baseball a little and used that for some easy workouts, Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders style. Sprinting every day can also be really helpful. For my mental training, I started doing yoga and meditation to try and get the head into the right place. I also changed my diet a lot and should be doing much better in that regard going forward.

[bovovovo]

What is Borkus Maximus III's dietary secret for maintaining his figure? Well, it wouldn't be a very big secret if everybody knew, now would it? But here's a hint: It rhymes with Shmovacados.

It's avocados. Borkus Maximus III eats so many avocados that it's getting out of hand. Avocados ruined his marriage. But that doesn't stop Borkus. Everything Borkus eats contains avocados. He puts avocado in his oatmeal for breakfast. He puts avocado in his sandwiches. He tops his steaks with thin strips of avocado. And for desert? Avocado ice cream.

He snacks on avocado chips, or sometimes regular chips dipped in avocado - heavy - guacamole. He puts avocado in his beans, his soup, and when he relaxes with a nice fancy alcoholic mixed drink instead of a lime on the rim he has a slice of avocado.

Borkus' doctors tell him this is insane and avocado really isn't that great for you when you eat so much of it. But Borkus doesn't listen, his hippie personal trainer knows more than a doctor anyhow.

(173 words)

[Zoone16]

During the off-season, Alexandre LeClair goes back home to Montreal to relax for 2 weeks. After enjoying his time with family and friends, he heads up further north to meet another friend whom he helps in his lumber company. Lumberjacking is a tough profession and even a professional footballer will make significant gains from all the work there is to do. Running in the woods, on an uneven surface, does wonders for agility and chopping down trees, even with a chainsaw, does require significant arm strength and a good pair of hands, which does help come pre-season. The biggest benefit from going up north is the colder, cleaner air. Endurance is not an aspect that should be taken lightly and training in colder, harsher conditions does help LeClair maintain that form.

This season, he comes into training camp in what is quite possibly his best physical form of his career. This will probably be one of his last seasons at the top before time finally catches up with the Canadian receiver

(171 words)

[majesiu]

[White Cornerback]

Lavelle's pre season and off season training regime is exactly the same as his regular season training programme. Alongside the mandatory team training camps which happen each time the NSFL season rolls around and Lavelle's individual training program, there's nothing really knew Lavelle has added in the S6 offseason.

I mean well strictly speaking that's not true, he has added in additional stretching with the aid of resistance bands, plus he's added foam rolling to his regime in hopes of preventing injuries as he heads into the true prime of his career, touching base at 28 years old.

While foam rolling can certaintly be classified as a fad routine, it's employed by a range of athletes, most notably the Miami Dolphins of the NFL who recently signed a sponsorship deal with backballer, a large scale piece of equipment for an entire body foam rolling experience. The athletes of the NSFL have been late to the foam rolling party but apparently athletes such as Mayran Jackson of the San Jose Sabercats and Antoine Delacour of the Baltimore Hawks both are keen on it.

182

[infinitempg]

i don't feel like writing so here's a shitty picture



martial arts is good for kicking

[PigSnout]

Boss Tweed had a bit of a dilemma this offseason. He weighed 225 pounds at the end of last season but he is switching to a Speed Rusher Linebacker over the offseason, but league rules require him to be at least 235 pounds to play that archetype and position. So during the offseason he needed to put on weight in order to meet these requirements. Generally, his offseason workouts have focused on improving his athleticism as a running back, but this time, he spent most of his offseason in the weight room. He worked with different trainers and learned a few unconventional weight workouts that were designed to help him bulk up and put weight on quicker. He spent a lot of time in the gym this offseason but it paid off as he was able to bulk up and meet the weight requirement. Tweed may not be as athletic next season as he focused more on strength training this year and will lose a little speed with his new size, but he will be bigger and stronger next year which should be a good help for his new role at linebacker.

192 Words

[ExemplaryChad]

Training is something I take very seriously. But training the mental game is just as important as the physical. That’s why I practice a regimen that requires discipline, teaches mindfulness, exercises flexibility, and develops inner and outer strength. That practice is kung fu. Extreme reflexes, concentration, and trust in your partners are key tenets of this ancient martial art. Masters of kung fu are able to withstand obscene amounts of punishment and push their bodies beyond what we think is possible.

I’ve trained under Master Zhang for over a decade now, and he is an endless fount of knowledge on fitness and philosophy. He has some level of expertise in almost every form of kung fu, from monkey and tiger to drunken boxing. As a result of his training, my body has a strong core, both physically and mentally, and I have the flexibility to flow like water. Kung fu has given me the training that I need to excel in every facet of life, not just football.

Haruki Ishigawa

Word count: 168