(S19) - Ultimus Week

[MSombrero]

1) Playoff review (Ultimini Final)

505 words

The end-of-season affair between the Tijuana Luchadores and the Minnesota Grey Ducks had all the makings of a defensive title game, and it didn’t disappoint. The Luchadores had the best defence in the league, allowing fewer than 12 pts/game, with the Minnesota trailing at 17 pts/game. Minnesota had relied on their ground game all year to power their offence and that was the case this time as Darrel Williams and the run powered them to their first Ultimini in their new home city.

The game started in a tense fashion, Minnesota and Tijuana trading 3 and outs. Minnesota won the field battle in the opening exchanges, and after Vega completed a pass to the rookie Jerome Davis for the first first down of the game, Banana was able to tuck away a field goal from 44 yards for the first points of the game. Tijuana immediately marched back down the field to have their own FG attempt from 45 yds, but Jackson missed this. With the offences feeling a little more confident, Minnesota ran the ball straight down Tijuanas throats, rushing 9 times and passing once as Darrel Williams capped the drive with a 12 yd TD run. 10-0 up now, the Minnesota defence held firm, Matt Murphy forcing a fumble and recovering it mid way through the 2nd quarter, leading to another drive ending in a Banana field goal. Advantage Minnesota, 13-0. The half ended with more 3 and outs and completed a first half shutout of the Luchadores.

Tijuana dominated the 3rd quarter, their first drive ending in another missed field goal (38 yds). They got the ball back shortly after from another Grey Ducks misfiring drive, this time managing to move all the way down the field for a touchdown by Podolak. With just over a minute left in the quarter, Blaylock then made an interception of a Vega to Big Chest pass, returning the ball 72 yds to the Minnesota 2 yd line. Podolak punched the ball in, but another Jackson missed kick and the game was tied at the 3rd, 13-13.

In the 4th quarter, the Luchadores maintained pressure on Vega, with Winkler and Lopez both getting sacks, but penalties hampered Tijuana, allowing the Grey Ducks to maintain their drive and Banana to his 3rd FG of the game (34 yds). The defence held firm the rest of the quarter, stifling the game and allowing Minnesota to claim the crown.

Both defences performed admirably in a tense affair. There were 2 key differences that allowed Minnesota to come away with the win; Minnesota shutting down Podolak and the kicking efficiency of both teams. Whilst Podolak managed 2 TD’s, he was held to only 2.2 ypc! On the other side Darrel Williams and Noble Jr. both ran for 5.8 ypc, allowing them to control the clock and kill the game. Banana was also ice-cold as a kicker, making every kick he made, including a long of 44 yds, whereas Jackson made 1/4 kicks, missing an extra point and 2 field goals.

11) Heroic performance - Jeffrey LaVert, MB - MB vs MIN

226 words

Jeffrey LaVert, Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, S
Conference matchup Vs Tijuana Luchadores
11 tkl, 2 PD, 1 Int, 1 Def TD

LaVert was all over the field last week against the Tijuana Luchadores, giving his team the best possible chance to go to the Ultimini. From the safety position, he led the team in tackles and passes defended. The Buccaneers fell to 17-3 after the first quarter as they were unable to stop the Luchadores from marching. The 2nd quarter saw the Buccaneers get back to within 1 touchdown before each team went through a number of 3 and outs. With just over 2 minutes to go, LaVert broke this stalemate by intercepting a pass from Avon Blocksdale Jr meant for Ben Kenobi, returning it to the endzone, making it both the first interception of his young career but also his first defensive touchdown, tieing the game 17-17. The Buccaneers would go onto lose, the offence being shut out in the 2nd half and the Luchadores scoring 10. Still, this was a remarkable performance from the rookie safety. He showed himself to be a defensive leader, a playmaker and a performer on the big stage. I’m sure that this offseason the Buccaneers will do their best to keep him, and that he’ll want to put in an equally impressive performance next year in the playoffs.

8) Scouting report - Baby Yoda, RB, POR (S21 class)

301 words

I’ve talked about Baby Yoda in my S21 Scouting reports but he’s a player I’d like to take a more detailed look at. After declaring for the S21 draft class, he was signed off waivers by the Portland Pythons. He immediately had a large role in the offence in the last 4 games of the regular season (Weeks 11-14) as Portland finished 2nd in the conference, and was also a contributor in the conference championship loss to the Minnesota Grey Ducks. He’s primarily known as a pass catching back, and he’s been equally used in the passing game (15 catches on 27 targets in the regular season) and running game (31 carries). In the regular season he had 325 yards from scrimmage total (146 from receptions, 179 from rushing attempts). Extrapolated to a whole season he would be on target for 1138 yards (627 rushing, 511 through air), a great return for a change of pace back. Whilst his stature might prevent him from becoming THE guy on any team, it also makes him a completely different weapon for a coach to use and requires a completely different approach from the defence in order to stop the shifty guy from generating separation. There’s no chance of a LB being able to cover him, so an extra safety or slot corner should be placed in coverage on him. Projecting forward into the next DSFL season and past that into the NSFL, I would expect him to be a great 3rd down back on obvious passing downs, someone used by an offence to exploit zone coverage, and as shown by his rushing efficiency numbers (5.77 Y/C on 31 carries) a modest threat on the ground as well. I’m willing to bet come the S21 NSFL draft he’ll be a locked in first rounder.

19) K appreciation - Silver Banana, MIN

The newly crowned Ultimini champions (Minnesota Grey Ducks) will be thanking their kicker, Silver Banana. Banana has been rock solid all season, being one of only 3 kickers in the league to be 100% on extra points in the regular season (and the only one with more than 10 attempts) and a decent 85% on field goals as well, with 3 misses coming from 30+ yards. It was the postseason where Banana really shined though. In the NFCN championship against the Portland Pythons, Banana lined up to kick 6 times, and the ball went through the posts 6 times. 3 extra points, 2 field goals between 20-29 yards, and a 44 yarder. This includes a 26 yarder with 5 seconds to go in the game to take the score from 27-27 to 30-27 for the Grey Ducks and win the game. In the Ultimini against the Tijuana Luchadores, a defensive low-scoring game, Banana was relied upon again. 1 extra point, and 3 field goals, one of which was the decider, and the Grey Ducks won 16-13. This contrasts with the Luchadores kicking woes, missing 3/4 kicks, including 2 field goals, and gave the Grey Ducks the championship. There’s no doubt in my mind that without Silver Banana’s perfect leg, we might be looking at a different champion.

[Mooty99]

6) Recruitment

I have been put in charge of a bot team in the DSFL what should I do? Firstly I think about positions and what sort of players I need in them. The DSFL is run heavy, so I want to run and stop the run do my 1st focus is on runningbacks and defensive linemen, inactive but with good TPE is just as good as brand new active players so I take the best of those. Next I want defensive backs to make the most of the rookie quarterbacks that I will fancy, these need to be preferably experience, perhaps some who are loaned down from the NSFL. Next I take my aim at quarterback and wide receivers, I want these guys to be as active as possible so they are always improving, this way i  the tail end of the season they will surprise a few team but moving away from the run and more on the passing game when they see able. this leaves linebackers and tight ends for last, while they are both really important they have not made my list of who to concentrate on first. Sorry for that all my tight end and linebacker friends I hope I haven't offended you!

(WC 206)


7) Penalty box

This answer to which Copperhead would find themselves in the penalty box is not the most interesting question, I am going to turn this one on its head and tell you which Copperhead would get the most opposition player sent to the penalty box (but let's face it would probably end up there himself as well). And that is our very own cornerback superstar Dermot Lavelle Jr. Dermot is the kind of corner back whose mouth is never switched off, he is jawing with the opposition constantly throughout a game, from the coin toss to the final buzzer, anything to put off his man. He loves to find a players weakness, whether it be physical or emotional and then go at it and clings to it like a dog with a bone. He is a motor mouth and loves nothing more than to get into the head of his man and wined up and push his opponent to breaking point to force them into the mistake, the flag the confrontation. On the practise pitch and the lockeroom his is a different animal, a livelier guy you could ever meet but on the field he is a monster. I am just glad that this guy is on our side!

(WC 208)


3) Revenge

Revenge for the Copperheads next season is not something that will happen in the regular season,  I would like it to happen in the season 21 Ultimus, to make the revenge as important and as devastating as possible. Now this revenge isn't really aimed at a team, but rather 1 player, Ashley Owens. The former Austin Copperhead 1st overall draft pick shocked everyone at the start of the season by announcing that he was leaving, and this messed up the balance of the offensive without the required time for it to be corrected meaning that the Copperheads were no where near as effusive in the season. It also REALLY upset his runningback partner Mako Mendonca. Mako and Ashley were like brothers and Ashley had even told Mako not to worry, that his contract negotiations with Austin were a formality and that they would be together for years to come. When that didn't come to pass Mako set his heart on revenge, to rush more than Ashley, to get more rushing touchdowns than Ashley and to prove that he is not needed by setting every rushing record Austin has. But more importantly to to him getting his Ultimus ring and to get one himself instead, and that is exactly what he plans on doing.

(WC 213)


5) Offseason Needs 

There are a few holes in the Austin Copperheads roster that need filling, but luckily for us we have the draft capital to do it this year. The 1st is the DL. With team and locker room leader Dick Wizardry retiring we need to draft his replacement, more than that we could do well with 2 DLs this off season. This would really solidify the line and hold it there long for the future. The team sack leader Kuusela is not getting any younger so fill the DL holes is a must. The other position of need that we have was due to the shock exit of Ashley Owens last year. We need one more piece of offensive weaponry to really allow our offensive to teach it true potential. The good thing about this is that it doesn't really matter if it is a TE, WR or RB, it can be any of the positions (and preferably someone who could fill more than 1 of them). Our offensive was just missing something this season and with a little extra juice i think that next year it could be a group that could really take up the point and send the opposition quaking in fear.

(WC 204)

[Duilio05]

Famous Ad

Myself and the rest of the Baltimore Hawks did an ad for a caribbean cruise. After being eliminated from playoffs by Yellow knife Wraiths the second season in a row we all said fuck football, and our GM Taco used his Eskimo Brother connections to get all of us ona cruise. When the cruise company realize they had the entire Baltimore Hawks team on the cuise ship the helicoptered in a camera crew and took video of us all just enjoying ourselves. Drinking, gamlbing, swimming, sun bathing. Every thing and anything. And that is how we ended up in a caribbean cruise commercial. We really enjoyed the time on the cruise. We had stops at Havana, Bahamas, Trinidad and Tobago, Key West, and so many other islands. Played with a herd of beach pigs. Scuba dived the reefs. Saw dolphins. Even got to hang glide for a bit. We had so much fun together bonding as a team doing something not football related that we didn’t realize the camera crew was filming us for the commercial until we got home and saw the commercial running on tv. We were flabergasted that they filmed us with out our permission. So that hawks organization sued them. Now the Hawks have $10M extra to spend in free agency.

Rookie interview

Q 1 Why did you choose the position you did and why you will be able to stand out from your class mates at that position?

Q 2 What makes you nervous the up coming DSFL draft?

Q 3 What team has the best logo?

Q 4 What NSFL Star are you modeling yourself after?

JeffreyLast Saturday at 6:03 PM
1) Ever since I set my eyes on Derwin James for the first time it was clear that he was going to be a player to watch for a long time. His effort, physicality and versatility on the field inspired me and as a result I decided to play Safety myself and the rest is history.

I believe I'm able to stand out from the rest of my class mates due to the fact that I have playoff experience under my belt and have shown hard work and dedication whether it be through activity or grinding TPE/GFXs.

2) Nothing really, I guess a fear I initially had was being drafted into an inactive locker room but even then, I want to be that difference maker and change the attitude in there.

3) This is a tough question, a lot of the teams have great logos but the ones that stand out to me (personally) would probably be the Wraiths, Outlaws, Second Line, Luchadores and Pythons. While we're at it, shoutout the Solar Pears, amazing name and logo (Even if it was copied)

4) Nobody, I want to make a name for myself. If others want they can follow in my footsteps but I want to do my thing and not follow someone else's footsteps.

[C9Van]

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Written: Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims have predictions, after if it is a review of the game.

I may as well start off with this one. I would touch on one specific thing but I will review a handful. The first being Balitmore Hawks vs Colorado Yeti. Truth being told, it was damn near a coin flip and we just got unlucky. Which sucks since the Yeti keep making the play-offs now but just fall short.

I was actually rooting for the Hawks vs YKW but not out of hatred, just for something different cause I knew that OCO would make it to the final. Sadly this did not happen and we AGAINST AAAAALL ODDS we found ourselves in the 100% highly unlikely event of The Otters vs the Wraiths. Shocking.

I am very glad I did not touch this one last season cause it would just be me saying how good the Otters team still is. I mean, jesus christ stop winning already. That is the best review I can give for this final. Same shit, different season.

Overall for predictions mind it was not far off what I thought. I did legit think we would beat the Hawks and then lose to YKW who would lose to either NOLA or the Otters and whilst I got NOLA and the Yeti wrong I did the path that it actually followed so overall I am fairly happy with how everything went. I just hope in next seasons play-offs I can do a review in which Lazzy shows up cause the only time he has done was in the Confirmed 1st vs 4th Loss vs YKW we were always going to lose lol

[267 words]

6) Recruitment
Written: Recruitment is coming up, and you’re in charge of a bot team. How are you building a lasting contender?

Finally, through the grace of our overlord Bex, Laszlo Forty-Two has taken over the trash of KCC and moved them to Budapest to create the Budapest Badgers. This was mainly to make sure that we can one day have more foreign players like Lazzy so we can have a world cup of sorts in this league. Naturally this team has to do well. In the first season, i probably would only have bots and that is not good. So I instead of figuring out how this game works, just YOLO swaggins and get to talking to people I know, respect or like in this league. Building up why they should recreate and stay down rather than ever going up.

Perhaps even go into the other leagues to recruit them. Now why would anyone ever do that? Simple. I will be the only General Manager who is also the village bike. Don't you see? Only by sucking the best D can i bypass needing to know anything about this. They will just be down for getting down. By the end of like a 2-3 season period I will have a team able to probably defeat Chicago!

Now some of you may think this is gay, but I assure you that it is 100% worth losing all se;f-respect for a few pointless internet badges on your profile. So if anything the new meta might turn into GMs sucking penis rather than speed abuse.

After re-reading this I can understand why may I will never GM actually.

[258 words]

10) Commissioner
Written: ADwyer, long time commissioner, is stepping down in the new year. If you were to replace him, what changes would you make to the league?

Oh this isn't one I am doing. I would just basically rehire ADwyer at gun point since he WAS doing a good job (Past 1.5x media needing to be x2 which I would also do.)

That is it, carry on.

[N/A, just free advice]

16) Dynasty
Written: Convince us that your team will be the next NSFL or DSFL dynasty.

Well it is kind of hard to state that any team past the currently Dynasty of the Orange County Otters will be the next one but going full delusion for a second I 100% genuinely think the Colorado Yeti is THE next dynasty!

The reason I can claim this is because of the fact we have one of the best youth cores after having a great season 15, 16, 17 and season 18 drafts. We basically went all in on the stacked season 18 draft and the season 15 pairing of Wolfie McDummy and Lazzy are finally hitting the prime. We have slowly and steadily been getting better and improving and have one of the best cores in the whole of the National Simulation Football League!

We went 8-5 when we really could have gone 11-2 if not for a few bad or unlucky games at home and we are not getting hit with regression as hard as the offer elite teams. We are bare minimum looking at going to the play-offs again and with us hitting our primes we are looking to bring home not just a single championship but multiple and become a dynasty. We could even realistically bring on a few of those dirty ring chasers too that are around the league to improve ourselves and really make sure that we are in line to be favourites for the next few seasons upcoming!

[239 words]

19) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human Offensive Lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome.
Graphic: Create a graphic about said OL or K/P and give stats of their season or playoff performances


20) Ultimus Ad
Written: You and your teammates are to appear in a famous ad to be aired during the Ultimus. What is it about?

The Colorado Yeti would have an advert that would include Wolfie McDummy, Laszlo Forty-Two, Bubba Thumper, Pete Parker and James Bishop. Each one of us would read off one of those old fashioned transcripts and give a sentence or two about facts about Milk. Mainly how healthy it is for you even if it can be high in fat. Why milk? Because this is a Colorado Farms Milk company advert to sell more milk and the new milkshake products!

Yes, the Colorado Yeti are literally milking money to themselves with this and whilst they may look dumb doing it. It just does not matter, cause we are getting that fat fat money. We might milk it even more and have the dude from Stranger Things come in and say "Nope, it is a Tide advert" but then I can Imagine Lazzy just kinda going over to him and beating him up. He does not really like joke adverts even if he is technically in one.

This would be more of a serious one by the end of it and maybe the company would even go on to sell autographed cartons with famous Colorado Yeti players on them just to try and milk more money? This advert is all about milking so it would make sense to just milk it for all it is worth.

[225 words]

[terriblehippo]

7) Penalty Box: Football is now adding a penalty box! Which of your teammates would find themselves in it most often, and for what reasons?
I don’t think Bjorn Ironside is a dirty player in any way. He’s aggressive and violent, sure, but football is an aggressive and violent game. He’s stated multiple times that he just wants to hit hard, and within the context of football that’s perfectly acceptable. However, there are times when his play crosses the line into unsafe, even dangerous territory. He has a history of such play: two unnecessary roughness and one unsportsmanlike conduct calls with the Flint Sun Tropics, and seven unnecessary roughness and four unsportsmanlike conduct calls with the Norfolk Seawolves of the DSFL. In his first season in the NSFL, he managed to keep things under control, but doing so limited his performance on the field, and New Orleans finished with a poor 5-8 record. This season, he was given the freedom to play more physically (so to speak), and although he was called twice for unnecessary roughness and once for unsportsmanlike conduct this over the course of the season, New Orleans fared much better as a team. The league has finally realized what Bjorn has known all along: in order for him to be the best player he can be, and in order for his team to be successful, Bjorn has to be allowed to play his particular brand of football. And, if that means having to suffer the occasional penalty flag on account of his behavior, then so be it.

Code:

235 words

8) Scouting Report: Write a scouting report for one of the incoming draftees in either the NSFL or DSFL.
As a linebacker myself, I’m always curious about linebacker prospects. So I decided to scout Galf Wilf, the second overall pick in the S19 DSFL draft. The speed rusher for Portland had a tremendous season: his 144 tackles was good for second in the league, but it was his ability to create turnovers that really made him shine. He forced four fumbles and recovered three, helping his Pythons to an 8-6 record and a playoff appearance. In that playoff game against Minnesota, Wilf recorded 12 tackles, but unfortunately the Pythons fell to the Grey Ducks. Wilf has 172 TPE at the time of this writing, with a 21 TPE update waiting to be approved. 172 TPE is good for 8th most in his draft class, and Wilf has the most TPE of any linebacker in S20; in fact, he has almost 20 more TPE than the next highest earning linebacker. In his recent updates, he’s been focusing heavily on Endurance and Speed, both of which are critically important for his position (and for pretty much every position in the league). He could benefit from spending one more season in the DSFL, but as things stand now he could easily find a starting position with one of the more LB-needy teams. I’m probably a little biased, but I would expect Wilf to go in the first or second round. If he’s still on the board going into the third round, I think he’ll end up being one of the biggest steals of the draft.

Code:

253 words, and yes I realize he'll be a GM pick.

9) Brotherly Love: We always talk about what teams and players are our rivals. This season, give me what team or player you have a soft spot for.
Mo Berry and I go back a long way, to even before our early days in the league. Berry and I both played linebacker at Nebraska, so we got to know each other well during our time there. It was during that time that we both decided to go to the NSFL, and we each helped each other to get there. Sadly, we weren’t on the same Prospect Bowl team, but we were reunited in the DSFL as members of the San Antonio Marshals. There, Berry and I--along with the other members of the Fab V--put together one of the most dominant seasons the DSFL has ever seen, and although we were unable to win it all that year, it was one of the best experiences of my career. He and I ended up as rivals in the NSFL: he went to Colorado, while I found a home in New Orleans. And whenever our teams play, I don’t treat him any differently than I would any other player on any other team. But despite that, Mo Berry remains one of my favorite players in the league. He works as hard as anyone, and much of Colorado’s successes can be attributed to him. Regardless of what happens with our teams and our individual careers, I’ll always consider him a friend (and a worthy opponent).

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223 words

16) Dynasty: Convince us that your team will be the next NSFL or DSFL dynasty.
Out of all the teams in the league, New Orleans is the one most poised to become the NSFL’s next big dynasty. We have one of the most active rosters in the league, if not the single most active one. More activity means two things: better players and a deeper roster. Because everybody on our team works hard, we can field a team that’s just plain better than a lot of other teams, and it means that the guys on the bench are just as capable as the ones in the starting lineup. But there’s more to being a dynasty than simply having a talented roster. New Orleans’ roster is also one of the youngest in the NSFL: as of this writing, the vast majority of our team is S15 or newer, with only six players falling outside that window. That means that the Second Line squad that made the conference championships this season is only going to get better. We had several coin-flip games that didn’t go our way this season, and if they had, we could have ended up with home field advantage throughout the playoffs. And, given that we beat eventual champions Orange County at home, it’s not a stretch to imagine that we could have beaten them in the playoffs at home as well. Next season, when our team has improved significantly and built on an already impressive performance, we’re much more likely to go into the playoffs with that crucial home field advantage, and we’ll be even tougher to beat. After that, once we’ve proved that we’re the real deal, it will be much easier to draw talented rookies and seasoned vets, meaning we can add pieces and cement our status as a true dynasty.

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290 words

[SDCore]

SHL PT Claim

2) Holiday Bowl
Written: This year’s Ultimus lands right in holiday season. What changes are made to this year’s Ultimus game to reflect the time of year?

It is THAT time of year, where the eggnog is flowing, the merry is going and people have all this good cheer. Not in Austin however, as we were robbed this season. Anyway, that is beside the point. What I would change to the Ultimus game to make it more “festive” was make sure it was played outside where it was snowing. Instead of a helicopter fly by to start the game, I’d get someone to make a “santa” sled and have it pulled by fake reindeer to make it seem like santa was flying over the stadium. I would put all the cheerleaders in sexy elf costumes with little hats. Then I would make sure that the refs all wore santa suits. This would be comical and I think the crowd would really enjoy it. Then at half time we would have a “mock” Christmas dinner where there would be a family just yelling at each other. This shows the true colors of the Holidays as everyone is actually miserable. Then during the third quarter it would be dollar beers, til everyone was good and drunk. This way everyone could leave happy no matter who wins on the field. This is a huge win win for everyone and a great way to celebrate the holidays.

4) Resim!
Written: You get to resim one game from this season. Write about why you chose that game and what the results would be.

Can I choose all of them? The sim really bent over Austin this season. We were able to win a few games we shouldn’t and some how made the playoffs, but really this was a disappointing season. It showed the true randomness of the sim and how the league really doesn’t want Austin to be good at all, which is ridiculous. There has been an anti-Austin bias since we were created which is just silly. If I had to choose one game it would have to be week 2’s game against New Orleans Second Line. Austin was winning that game for a long time, but the sim just kept deciding it was not meant to be. We ended up losing in the last minute after a bunch of turnovers and penalties. Also, what is up with the sim and decided Cole needs to throw an interception on his first drive of every game. Is that a thing that is supposed to happen? Oh, or that Tidwell can put up 130 yards in the 1st quarter and then not get targeted the rest of the game. This puts a serious damper on our offense in the 2nd half of games, which we were notoriously bad at. Anyway those are my gripes with the sim this season.

7) Penalty box
Written: Football is now adding a penalty box! Which of your teammates would find themselves in it most often, and for what reasons?

Ah, the old let’s put in elements from a superior sport, because ours sucks and people honestly hate it. Hockey does a lot of things right, because it is a better sport, so it makes sense to want to steal elements from that game. The penalty box brings people great shame and is an institution in the sport. I think if we had a penalty box in football, especially in the Nation Football Simulation League, Dermott Lavelle would spend quite a bit of time in it. Not because he is a dirty player or a bad guy, he is neither, but because he is just too good, they would find reasons to put in there. Plus, he likes to talk a lot and he would definitely go over the line a time or two, but in the best way possible. Besides dermo, I think that we could find Easton Cole somehow ending up there more than he should as a Quarterback. When the sim decides to make him throw an interception, I could see Cole throwing his helmet at a ref and getting sent to the box. We all know who wouldn’t go in the box though and that is the one Mr. Rod Tidwell. You see he has too much Kwan and Respect to be sent in there.

[Starboy]

1) Playoff Review - Round 1 Colorado Yeti vs Baltimore Hawks (234 Words)

The first-round matchup between the Colorado Yeti and the Baltimore Hawks was set to become a great matchup for the ages. The Yeti had put together a scary team in S19 that had no problem finding points in some games while other times it relied more on the defense. The Hawks had much of the same situation as the perennial NSFC second place holder for a little while. Things didn’t exactly go to plan as this matchup originally looked.

The Baltimore Hawks took a page from the famous Frank Beamer in that special teams can win you games. ForThe Brand played a huge part in the scoring side of the Hawks game while their defense showed up to stop any hopes the Yeti had of making it to the second round. Things started to show early that this could become a defensive battle in the first quarter when only a total of three points were scored but in the second quarter and on, the Hawks took every chance they could for possible points and got them. The only offensive weapons that the Yeti could capitalize with were the tandem running back duo of Ashley Owens and Michael Vincent who have been the bright spots on offense for the Yeti the entire season. The Hawks showed that the Yeti still have a few more steps to take before getting to the second round, winning 39-17.


3) Revenge (238 Words)

In a moment of frustration after losing another first round matchup, one might be quick to blame the loss on the team you just played. It’s definitely reasonable and justified considering they are the team that took you out of the playoffs and are the last team you played. Surely you would want to be seeking revenge on them immediately, right? That makes sense for a lot of people it seems, and it was originally who I would go after next season the hardest.

However, I come back into a much more calm mindset of someone in their last season and check all of the schedule. There is a team that set us in a worse position than the Baltimore Hawks when it came to the playoffs. That team would of course be the Yellowknife Wraiths. Let me explain the unfortunate tale of the S19 Colorado Yeti against the Yellowknife Wraiths and how the Wraiths kept us from truly getting to our most glorious timeline and rightful place.

Both times we played the Wraiths, the Yeti came within a score of beating them. One more touchdown in those games would have propelled the Yeti into first place and we could have jumped into the second round without worry. Next season those slight missteps will not be a thing Yeti player will have to worry about because we will make sure to get two extra touchdowns for good measure.


8) Scouting Report



15) Superstardom - Franklin Armstrong makes the cover of the next game

[BWIII]

3) Revenge
If there was a team I'd like to get revenge on it wouldn't be a likely target that most people would think. If someone else were to guess which team I'd like to get revenge on they'd probably say someone like the Colorado Yeti who stopped us from getting to the playoffs. For me though I'm all about personal matchups and records and what not and for me one goal I've had is to pick off all the quarterbacks, which is easier said than done since there's turnover from older guys. I've managed to pick off the entire NSFC, which is a lot easier since my team is in that division so that's one less team, but also because we play them twice a year. I have picked off Cole in the ASFC, which come on that's the easy one. The others though is a lot harder and I've settled for just winning against those teams. We ended up blowing out San Jose, which come on another easy one, as well as Arizona. We ended up losing to Orange County and New Orleans though and we only lost to Orange County by 3 points. For that reason I'd love to get revenge against Orange County next season and hopefully pick off Armstrong


5) Offseason Needs
I honestly don't know the holes on our team and what we have coming up through development, but one of the things I think we severely lacked was talent along the defensive line. Basically it was a constant theme where we were generating no pressure from those positions and it was forcing McMorris and myself to try and defend in coverage for an extra long amount of time. I was able to hold my own for most of it, while McMorris is still learning the position and was getting beat a good deal, but honestly that's not even his fault, but rather the result of having to cover for an insane amount of time. We were lucky enough to get pressure from the LB and safety positions, but that's really not going to cut it if we want to take the next step and get back to the playoffs. I think another hole that would be awesome to have would be that of an actual legitimate tight end threat. Farley Hank and Fuzzy Dotson have done some great things being swiss army knives lining up at almost every offensive position, but I think a natural tight end would help solidify that offense and hopefully end the continuous amounts of frustrating drives we saw last season.


7) Penalty box
Man am I glad that there is no penalty box in the NSFL or football in general because after looking at the numbers I'm sure we'd be in trouble with that. Now I haven't analyzed the data across all teams, but boy do we have a number of trouble makers on our team. At first after the data was compiled I thought that it was a little obvious with who would end up being in the penalty box as the defensive linemen had a staggering amount, which kind of made sense seeing as you have to be a different breed of animal to want to get down and dirty in the trenches with a bunch of other big dudes. The numbers were close with the entire defensive line coming out to an average of 3 penalties per person with crazy man Zach Hall leading the way, but there was an interesting thing that I saw......there was a bigger bunch of crazies. So who are the official lunatics of the Philadelphia Liberty? None other than the running backs!! They came out to an average of 3.666 penalties per person on the year. Farley Hank seemed to be the more tame of the group while Sam Torenson and Fuzzy Dotson appear to be the dudes who liked to mix it up with the opposing team a little too much.


17) Robbed
I don't think that any other team was robbed more than the Philadelphia Liberty and the playoffs this year proved it. I mean just look at the other two teams who made it ahead of us, the Baltimore Hawks and the Colorado Yeti. Those losers might as well have not even showed up to their games and just handed over a slip of paper saying they forfeit because they sure as heck didn't put up a fight. What is this archaec playoff determination system we have going on here? I mean look at how badly the Yellowknife Wraiths whooped up on the Hawks in the NSFC Championship game, like was that entertaining for anybody besides the Wraiths fans? No. Was it good for the NSFL brand in general? No. Just look at the Wraiths record on the year, 9-4 and look at who beat them. Half of their losses on the year came at the hands of the Philadelphia Liberty. I mean just put that those two teams up against each other and let them slug it out, that would have been an awesome game to watch most likely, just to see if the so called power team of the Wraiths could actually beat the Liberty. I'm guessing they couldn't, but we were robbed of that viewing pleasure!

[CLG Rampage]

9) Brotherly Love

I think it's gonna be pretty obvious who I talk about for this section. He's one of the players I mentioned a while ago in my article thanking the Marshals organization for what they've done for me in my months in this league. He was my running mate for two seasons down in San Antonio, and I still miss him. Ruff Ruff was one of the best teammates I could have asked for as I was entering the league as a rookie. I was completely new to sim leagues in general and knew nobody coming in. Unlike someone who was transferring over from, say, PBE to the NSFL, I had no idea what I was doing and was somewhat worried I'd just be terrible and no one would want me as a teammate. However, he was a great person to run alongside, despite my initial reservations with splitting carries. We would always joke around in the San Antonio locker room, encouraging each other to keep on pushing to be our best. I don't think I could have asked for a better player to be running with in my first few seasons. I still miss him after the split, and maybe someday we'll be teammates again. I certainly hope so.

[josh30601]

Task 2: 203 words

This year's Ultimus competition fell directly into the holidays, leading to the acclaimed "Holiday Bowl" Naturally, we as humans must do everything within our capabilities to spruce up the stadium, uniforms, and concessions to reflect our unearthly love for winter-time. Perhaps the most notable change and most obvious to the fans in the stadium, is the colors of the light-posts being replaced by festive lights making the whole stadium appear red, green, yellow, orange, and purple. There may be some risen concerns over this change as it may be harder to locate the ball, but this is countered by the players using their state-of-the-art Festivizer-proof goggles where they will be able to see everything in normal colors (This feature is a work in progress). Also for added effect, every player on the field will be wearing reindeer antlers above their ears, similar to the Minnesota Vikings' attire.

Now for the more controversial decision - the stadium will only serve peppermint flavored food - this includes water, hot dogs, nachos, or anything else one might expect to eat at a big game. With this change, you will not be able to feel anything but festive inside and out.


Task 7: 206 words

It is about time that football has managed to implement the much desired penalty box. Seeing much success in other sports, such as hockey of course, the penalty box will allow heated and salty players to come off of the field and take their anger out on themselves, rather than presenting an immediate danger to those on the field. Sardine Beaner will find himself among the few that get sentenced to this illustrious box of hopelessness, but he will deserve it. Most notably featured are his many injuries he has previously caused former rivals from high school, such as the breaking of one quarterback's jaw just to get the tackle, and he will certainly be better off contained in an area where he can not cause any more pain to other players on the field.

Also requiring the penalty box will be Bauer, who constantly is too touchy-feely with his Roblox girlfriend Bex. As we all know, there is no public displays of affection on the football field as it is no place for that behavior, and if he acts like he does in the locker room, things will escalate and get messy very quickly. This penalty box will be a blessing for many reasons.



Task 14: