Thank you. Thank you.
Beaver! Beaver! Beaver! Beaver!
My fellow NSFL citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our S1 and S2 ancestors.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our team is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our offensive line is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the team for a new age.
Memes have been lost, blockers shed, offenses shut out. Our equipment is too costly, our player progression team fails too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we claim TPE strengthens our adversaries and threatens our league.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our league; a nagging fear that the league’s decline is inevitable, that the next draft class must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, NSFL: They will be met.
(APPLAUSE)
On this day, we post media because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our league.
We remain a young league, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from draft class to draft class: the Bovo-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of shitposting.
(APPLAUSE)
In reaffirming the greatness of our league, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.
It has not been the path for the humorless, for those who prefer dry seriousness over joking, or seek only the pleasures of sim testing and championships.
Rather, it has been the shitposters, the memers, the reactors of emojis -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few meme templates and traveled across leagues in search of a new start. For us, they toiled in Paint and posted their memes, endured the ban of the admin and photoshopped the stock images.
For us, they created and retired in places like VHL and SHL; MSFL and PBE.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and shitposted till their hands were raw so that we might meme better memes. They saw the NSFL as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of build or position or team.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful league on the Interwebs. Our players are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our memes and shitposts no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting humorless interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed.
Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking the NSFL.
(APPLAUSE)
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our league cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this league has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and shitposting.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale statistical arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply.
The question we ask today is not whether our league is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps players find TPE at a decent price, equipment they can afford, regression that is dignified.
Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end.
And those of us who manage the league’s dollars will be held to account, to pay wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between players and their league.
Nor is the question before us whether shitposting is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate memes and expand humor is unmatched.
The success of our league has always depended not just on the frequency of our shitposting, but on the staleness of our memes; on the ability to extend reaction emojis to every discord message -- not out of malice, but because it is the memeiest route to small chuckles.
Our founding members faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a rulebook to assure the rule of law and the rights of players, a rulebook expanded by the blood of draft classes.
Those ideals still light the league, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.
And so, to all other players and sim leagues who are watching today, from the grandest head offices to the deadest discord: know that the NSFL is a friend of each league and every player who seeks a future of shitposting and memes, and we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down multis and Noble not just with fines and bans, but with shitposting and memes.
They understood that our punishments alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please.
We are the keepers of this legacy, guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between teams.
We will not apologize for our way of life nor will we waver in its defense.
And for those who seek to advance their aims by repressing memes and slaughtering shitposts, we say to you now that, "Our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness.
We are a league of Yeti and Hawks, Wraiths and Second Line, and Sabercats. We are shaped by every color scheme and logo, drawn from every end of this Earth.
And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and memeregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that the NSFL must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the SHL world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.
To those leaders around the sim league universe who seek to sow conflict or blame their league’s ills on the shitposter, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.
To those GMs here at home who cling to power through corruption and deceit and hurtful messages about my toxic personality, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that I will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled.
Thank you. Bovo bless you. And Bovo bless the National Simulation Football League.
Beaver! Beaver! Beaver! Beaver!
My fellow NSFL citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our S1 and S2 ancestors.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our team is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our offensive line is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the team for a new age.
Memes have been lost, blockers shed, offenses shut out. Our equipment is too costly, our player progression team fails too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we claim TPE strengthens our adversaries and threatens our league.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our league; a nagging fear that the league’s decline is inevitable, that the next draft class must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, NSFL: They will be met.
(APPLAUSE)
On this day, we post media because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our league.
We remain a young league, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from draft class to draft class: the Bovo-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of shitposting.
(APPLAUSE)
In reaffirming the greatness of our league, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.
It has not been the path for the humorless, for those who prefer dry seriousness over joking, or seek only the pleasures of sim testing and championships.
Rather, it has been the shitposters, the memers, the reactors of emojis -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few meme templates and traveled across leagues in search of a new start. For us, they toiled in Paint and posted their memes, endured the ban of the admin and photoshopped the stock images.
For us, they created and retired in places like VHL and SHL; MSFL and PBE.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and shitposted till their hands were raw so that we might meme better memes. They saw the NSFL as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of build or position or team.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful league on the Interwebs. Our players are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our memes and shitposts no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting humorless interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed.
Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking the NSFL.
(APPLAUSE)
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our league cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this league has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and shitposting.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale statistical arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply.
The question we ask today is not whether our league is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps players find TPE at a decent price, equipment they can afford, regression that is dignified.
Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end.
And those of us who manage the league’s dollars will be held to account, to pay wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between players and their league.
Nor is the question before us whether shitposting is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate memes and expand humor is unmatched.
The success of our league has always depended not just on the frequency of our shitposting, but on the staleness of our memes; on the ability to extend reaction emojis to every discord message -- not out of malice, but because it is the memeiest route to small chuckles.
Our founding members faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a rulebook to assure the rule of law and the rights of players, a rulebook expanded by the blood of draft classes.
Those ideals still light the league, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.
And so, to all other players and sim leagues who are watching today, from the grandest head offices to the deadest discord: know that the NSFL is a friend of each league and every player who seeks a future of shitposting and memes, and we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down multis and Noble not just with fines and bans, but with shitposting and memes.
They understood that our punishments alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please.
We are the keepers of this legacy, guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between teams.
We will not apologize for our way of life nor will we waver in its defense.
And for those who seek to advance their aims by repressing memes and slaughtering shitposts, we say to you now that, "Our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness.
We are a league of Yeti and Hawks, Wraiths and Second Line, and Sabercats. We are shaped by every color scheme and logo, drawn from every end of this Earth.
And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and memeregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that the NSFL must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the SHL world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.
To those leaders around the sim league universe who seek to sow conflict or blame their league’s ills on the shitposter, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.
To those GMs here at home who cling to power through corruption and deceit and hurtful messages about my toxic personality, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that I will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled.
Thank you. Bovo bless you. And Bovo bless the National Simulation Football League.
![[Image: h5Ta7H1.png]](https://i.imgur.com/h5Ta7H1.png)
![[Image: jorel.gif]](https://s2.gifyu.com/images/jorel.gif)
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