[div align=\\\"center\\\"]Neo the Kicker[/div]
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]![[Image: yYPufKM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/yYPufKM.png)
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Dad says that when Mom was pregnant with me I used to kick so hard inside her that he could wiggle my toes through her belly.
I believe it. I don't remember a day of my life I haven't kicked something.
When I was a kid I would set up empty bean cans in my yard and kick them between two tree branches. I could literally sit there all day and just kick shit through those branches and never get bored. I would make little games and set up small army men on the branches and try and knock them down.
Soccer was the first sport my parents signed me up for at 5 years old. I kicked our family dog a few times and they said if I wanted to kick something, to kick this soccer ball instead. Soccer was alright at first but I loved eating more than running. Running has never been my thing. The coaches saw how I hated to run and made be play goalie. This was great for me because I got to just stand around in one spot for 90% of the game. Make a few saves here and there and then when I got the ball in my hands it was my favourite part of it all...Booting that fucker down the field. I didn't care about setting up teammates half the time I was trying to score by myself.
My leg strength was unmatched and I could kick the ball further than my coaches before I was 10. My whole life revolved around eating, school and soccer. I was always a big kid and I knew if I wanted to have a career in goal I would need to be a monster so I just kept eating and eating and kicking and kicking.
Eventually I get to high school and the football coach wanted me to come try out as a kicker. I told him no can do. I needed more time to eat and play soccer, there was no way I could squeeze in another sport. One I didn't even care to watch. The football coach Mr. Dennehy was really all over me basically begging me to tryout. He eventually offered to take me to an all you can eat buffet as an opportunity for me to learn more about the sport.
As we dined he mentioned that in football as a kicker all I would have to do is kick. No defence at all. No stopping balls, just kicking balls. This sounded like a dream come true to me...how have I not thought about this before? He talked on and on about the game of Football and explained everything to me. He said it wasn't even important if I knew most of the rules or paid attention as long as I could kick a ball between the uprights when called upon they would leave me alone the rest of the time. This sounded like it would give me much more time to eat food and that is a huge passion of mine. The more he went on the more excited I got and eventually I took him up on his offer and told him I would attend practice the next day.
I got to the field early and there were a few guys there already messing around with some warm up drills. I grabbed a football and started to get a feel for it. As funny as it may sound I was pretty sure that wast he first time in my life I had ever even touched a football. It just wasn't popular amongst me and my friends growing up. After a while an assistant coach came up to me and helped me get set up and asked to see me kick a few balls.
He set me up for a 25 yard field goal and I took a few steps back and ran at that thing and booted the fuck out of it. It missed. I went wide right and I was pissed. I ran quickly to grab another ball as I knew I could hit this kick and I just wasn't used to kicking a ball of this dumb shape. Why isn't it just fucking round like every other ball? Anyways the coach was sitting there with his mouth open and just spurted out a "holy shit". I said ya ya I am sorry I can do better just wait til you see the next one! He replied "Do that again, that was amazing!". Are you high coach? I just missed it wide right! He then went on to say I just kicked the ball at least 70 yard and he had never seen a leg like mine in all his years coaching High School ball.
The next half an hour was just me kicking balls as far and as straight as I could as a group of players gathered around me. It made me feel pretty cool that all the eyes were on me and all I had to do was my favourite thing next to eating...kick shit. Some people were put on this earth so save lives, some were put here to be clowns but Neo Donaldson came to kick. I know some might think of my life as pretty shallow but to me there is nothing better than the rush I get when I make something move away from me really fast. Quarterbacks get all the love because they can throw a ball but big fucking deal? Real men use their big leg muscles to move balls around instead of little biceps.
My high school career went really well and I had tons of schools knocking on my door with college scholarships. The problem was I still loved food too much and after accepting an offer to Notre Dame I was told year 1 I was too fat to kick and would be the backup until I got to an approved size. This was devastating to hear for me because I felt like I was just getting started in life in both football and eating and now both had to take a back seat. They wanted me to start working out and eating salads and crap like that...It was really sad and to be honest I just didn't feel like it was worth it. At this point I was 6'3 280 and they wanted me down to 225. How on earth was I going to lose 55 pounds? I was just getting so close to that 300 milestone as well and they crushed that dream real fast. They made me replace my coke ice cream floats with water and oatmeal for breakfast. It was just awful. But I was really dedicated at this point to kick footballs. I knew that if I could figure this out I could be a millionaire one day and all it would require is kicking a few balls once a week on ESPN. I would have the rest of the weeks free to have the best life ever and I couldn't let this chance pass me by.
I started working with a personal trainer and shedding off the pounds. He let me have one cheat meal a week of whatever I wanted. So the day after a game I would order pizza, sushi and fried chicken and just eat until I couldn't move. It was great because the rest of the week I was stuck eating boiled chicken that tastes like gym mats and broccoli with no damn cheese sauce. It did work though and as the weight came off I found my leg strength actually improving as I was gaining muscle and losing flab.
That first season ended with me still on the bench and I was around 240 pounds. So I dropped 40 of the 55 pounds they wanted me to lose and I was ready to hit the offseason with all my energy and come back and win that starters job year 2! I spent my summer working my ass off and it paid off because the starting kicker was horribly disfigured in a boating accident! My dreams had come true! I was told I would be the new starting kicker and I was over the moon! If I could make the most of these college years...I was so close to the NSFL and the big money. Notre Dame didn't have a great program while I was there though and our record was trash. The nice thing was our offence was so bad at finishing so it gave me a lot of chances to kick field goals from all over the field. I only missed a handful of field goals and 1 extra point. I tied a college record with a 67 yarder at home in a game we lost 13-9. All in all I had a strong college career but I was on a trash team and didn't get much recognition around the country.
Now here we are just days away from the NSFL draft and I am wondering if I did enough in my past years to get noticed and drafted. I am know for my power but I really think my accuracy is great as well and I will only get better because kicking is my life. I love kicking stuff today just as much as I did when I was a little kid. I have a passion for kicking that is unmatched and I want to kick more stuff each day.
So to any managers out there this is my message to you. If you are looking around your locker room right now and you see a kicker with his head down in a book or talking on the phone to a loved one...just know that I won't waste time with bullshit like that. I am here to kick footballs through the uprights. All day, everyday. I know what lights my fire and it's kicking. I just go about my business and I won't get in the way of your star athletes with massive ego's. I am out to prove to myself what I can do and make a bit of bank in the process.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]
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Dad says that when Mom was pregnant with me I used to kick so hard inside her that he could wiggle my toes through her belly.
I believe it. I don't remember a day of my life I haven't kicked something.
When I was a kid I would set up empty bean cans in my yard and kick them between two tree branches. I could literally sit there all day and just kick shit through those branches and never get bored. I would make little games and set up small army men on the branches and try and knock them down.
Soccer was the first sport my parents signed me up for at 5 years old. I kicked our family dog a few times and they said if I wanted to kick something, to kick this soccer ball instead. Soccer was alright at first but I loved eating more than running. Running has never been my thing. The coaches saw how I hated to run and made be play goalie. This was great for me because I got to just stand around in one spot for 90% of the game. Make a few saves here and there and then when I got the ball in my hands it was my favourite part of it all...Booting that fucker down the field. I didn't care about setting up teammates half the time I was trying to score by myself.
My leg strength was unmatched and I could kick the ball further than my coaches before I was 10. My whole life revolved around eating, school and soccer. I was always a big kid and I knew if I wanted to have a career in goal I would need to be a monster so I just kept eating and eating and kicking and kicking.
Eventually I get to high school and the football coach wanted me to come try out as a kicker. I told him no can do. I needed more time to eat and play soccer, there was no way I could squeeze in another sport. One I didn't even care to watch. The football coach Mr. Dennehy was really all over me basically begging me to tryout. He eventually offered to take me to an all you can eat buffet as an opportunity for me to learn more about the sport.
As we dined he mentioned that in football as a kicker all I would have to do is kick. No defence at all. No stopping balls, just kicking balls. This sounded like a dream come true to me...how have I not thought about this before? He talked on and on about the game of Football and explained everything to me. He said it wasn't even important if I knew most of the rules or paid attention as long as I could kick a ball between the uprights when called upon they would leave me alone the rest of the time. This sounded like it would give me much more time to eat food and that is a huge passion of mine. The more he went on the more excited I got and eventually I took him up on his offer and told him I would attend practice the next day.
I got to the field early and there were a few guys there already messing around with some warm up drills. I grabbed a football and started to get a feel for it. As funny as it may sound I was pretty sure that wast he first time in my life I had ever even touched a football. It just wasn't popular amongst me and my friends growing up. After a while an assistant coach came up to me and helped me get set up and asked to see me kick a few balls.
He set me up for a 25 yard field goal and I took a few steps back and ran at that thing and booted the fuck out of it. It missed. I went wide right and I was pissed. I ran quickly to grab another ball as I knew I could hit this kick and I just wasn't used to kicking a ball of this dumb shape. Why isn't it just fucking round like every other ball? Anyways the coach was sitting there with his mouth open and just spurted out a "holy shit". I said ya ya I am sorry I can do better just wait til you see the next one! He replied "Do that again, that was amazing!". Are you high coach? I just missed it wide right! He then went on to say I just kicked the ball at least 70 yard and he had never seen a leg like mine in all his years coaching High School ball.
The next half an hour was just me kicking balls as far and as straight as I could as a group of players gathered around me. It made me feel pretty cool that all the eyes were on me and all I had to do was my favourite thing next to eating...kick shit. Some people were put on this earth so save lives, some were put here to be clowns but Neo Donaldson came to kick. I know some might think of my life as pretty shallow but to me there is nothing better than the rush I get when I make something move away from me really fast. Quarterbacks get all the love because they can throw a ball but big fucking deal? Real men use their big leg muscles to move balls around instead of little biceps.
My high school career went really well and I had tons of schools knocking on my door with college scholarships. The problem was I still loved food too much and after accepting an offer to Notre Dame I was told year 1 I was too fat to kick and would be the backup until I got to an approved size. This was devastating to hear for me because I felt like I was just getting started in life in both football and eating and now both had to take a back seat. They wanted me to start working out and eating salads and crap like that...It was really sad and to be honest I just didn't feel like it was worth it. At this point I was 6'3 280 and they wanted me down to 225. How on earth was I going to lose 55 pounds? I was just getting so close to that 300 milestone as well and they crushed that dream real fast. They made me replace my coke ice cream floats with water and oatmeal for breakfast. It was just awful. But I was really dedicated at this point to kick footballs. I knew that if I could figure this out I could be a millionaire one day and all it would require is kicking a few balls once a week on ESPN. I would have the rest of the weeks free to have the best life ever and I couldn't let this chance pass me by.
I started working with a personal trainer and shedding off the pounds. He let me have one cheat meal a week of whatever I wanted. So the day after a game I would order pizza, sushi and fried chicken and just eat until I couldn't move. It was great because the rest of the week I was stuck eating boiled chicken that tastes like gym mats and broccoli with no damn cheese sauce. It did work though and as the weight came off I found my leg strength actually improving as I was gaining muscle and losing flab.
That first season ended with me still on the bench and I was around 240 pounds. So I dropped 40 of the 55 pounds they wanted me to lose and I was ready to hit the offseason with all my energy and come back and win that starters job year 2! I spent my summer working my ass off and it paid off because the starting kicker was horribly disfigured in a boating accident! My dreams had come true! I was told I would be the new starting kicker and I was over the moon! If I could make the most of these college years...I was so close to the NSFL and the big money. Notre Dame didn't have a great program while I was there though and our record was trash. The nice thing was our offence was so bad at finishing so it gave me a lot of chances to kick field goals from all over the field. I only missed a handful of field goals and 1 extra point. I tied a college record with a 67 yarder at home in a game we lost 13-9. All in all I had a strong college career but I was on a trash team and didn't get much recognition around the country.
Now here we are just days away from the NSFL draft and I am wondering if I did enough in my past years to get noticed and drafted. I am know for my power but I really think my accuracy is great as well and I will only get better because kicking is my life. I love kicking stuff today just as much as I did when I was a little kid. I have a passion for kicking that is unmatched and I want to kick more stuff each day.
So to any managers out there this is my message to you. If you are looking around your locker room right now and you see a kicker with his head down in a book or talking on the phone to a loved one...just know that I won't waste time with bullshit like that. I am here to kick footballs through the uprights. All day, everyday. I know what lights my fire and it's kicking. I just go about my business and I won't get in the way of your star athletes with massive ego's. I am out to prove to myself what I can do and make a bit of bank in the process.
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