Arizona Proudly Resigns Sir Saba Donut

[SwagSloth]

Saba Donut
S20 - $24,000,000 (PO)
@SabaDonutMan

Provissions:
- NTC
- 9 additional White Castles will be built in Arizona's stadium (including the 1 that already exists), 2 on separate floors of each wing (N,S,E,W). The 8th will be placed inside the team gift shop. The 9th will exist inside the box office and double as a take-out-only restaurant.
- 10% of the GM and co-GM's pay will be donated to a fund established to lobby the Arizona senate to ban In & Out Burger from operating inside the state.
- Saba must be WR1, WR2, and slot in all starting formations. Other players can not start in these formations without Saba's permission (to be screenshoted in all DC updates). The sim must decide where it wants Saba and determine which back-up WRs to put into the other spots.
- Saba must be made placeholder on all special teams plays. If a WR is included in that formation, the previous WR clause still stands and he must also be listed in all WR spots.
- SwagSloth must write a 2000+ word media piece after every Arizona loss personally apologizing to Saba for letting him down. He may include quotes from other team members expressing their own apologies. SwagSloth and any contributing team members must forego all media pay from these articles.
- For every game that Saba does not receive 100+ yards and a receiving touchdown, SwagSloth must write a 500+ word media apologizing to Saba and explaining why he is bad at setting strats. Quotes may not be used. SwagSloth must also forego all media pay from these articles.
- SwagSloth will personally lobby to members of HO (in a discord conversation that includes Saba) to rename the Arizona Outlaws to the Arizona Speed. The new logo must be either a picture of Saba, a very fast sloth, or some combination of the two.
- Saba will continue to get war room access and will be the final decision-maker on all other war room members, including the GM and co-GM.
- Saba must be primary Receiver.
- The player "Baby Yoda" must bank all TPE earned unless explicitly given permission by Saba to spend his earnings. The update must include a screenshot of Saba giving permission and dictating how the TPE is to be spent.
- Saba will receive a 15% share of the team and become a permanent owner of the team (though this does not affect GM/co-GM or decisions made by the team that aren't listed in this contract). For any season that Saba is signed with the team, he receives the right to redistribute parts of his contract to new player signings and/or OL purchases with his written permission and/or a screenshot of his written permission.
- The entire Arizona team must be flown down to New Orleans to celebrate Bex Day.

[SwagSloth]

So glad to have you back, buddy. I know other teams offered more, but I'm glad we could reach an agreement that worked for both sides.

[slothfacekilla]

Those are bad burger takes!

[infinitempg]

Wow I like White Castle but banning in n out is a travesty

What’s next? Five guys? Tsk tsk

[JKortesi81]

Boy, I don’t know how we could’ve competed with this.

Swag, you’re amazing. I don’t think I would’ve ever thought of the gift shop White Castle.

[iamslm22]

what

[ValorX77]

Wow.

[SabaDonutMan]

The box office / White Castle combo was supposed to replace the box office, not combine with it. People can buy and print tickets online. No need to hold up the line with people that don't know how to use the internet buying tickets. This is a ploy by In & Out to ruin the reputation of White Castle.
The Outlaws have obviously been infiltrated.

Due to this I have decided to decline the contract

[SwagSloth]

The box office / White Castle combo was supposed to replace the box office, not combine with it. People can buy and print tickets online. No need to hold up the line with people that don't know how to use the internet buying tickets. This is a ploy by In & Out to ruin the reputation of White Castle.
The Outlaws have obviously been infiltrated.

Due to this I have decided to decline the contract

[.Laser]

Bruh, what in the ever loving Radiator Springs is this