(S19) - Ultimus Week

[thefrowntownclown]

6) Recruitment
When building a new squad from scratch it’s obviously tempting to look at skill positions first then build around them. A star quarterback or running back can light up the field or an athletic phenom at corner can put their foe on an island, but neither can do what they need if you lose the line of scrimmage. Teams that win in the trenches win on the scoreboard. In the DSFL look for Emmett Higgins to immediately take a leadership role wherever he lands. He not only has the strength required for the job on the line, his ability to read a defense in front of him will keep his quarterback upright for long enough to complete his reads on every play. On the other side of the line make sure you’re watching Otis Allen when he takes the field as he will disrupt every play any offense calls. A defensive lineman that can drive straight up the middle of any formation poses a threat to any play, be they pass or run. Opposing coaches will have to spend significant time leading up facing him drawing up special blocking schemes and double teams to contain him and I still expect to see over a dozen tackles in the backfield. Winning or losing the middle of the field leads directly to winning and losing the game, so always fill your roster with the necessary talent to dominate that battle every week.

13) Get Interviewed By A Vet @Jay_Doctor
Jay: What do you see as your greatest strength as a possession tight end?
Rainier: My hands, without a doubt, are my greatest strength. I can catch any ball thrown my way even if it means having to dive out to make the grab. While I didn't have the speed to cut it as an outside-the-numbers receiver I can catch just as well as they can in the slots and have the strength of a bodybuilder to boot.

Jay: Which would mean more to you: having 4 3rd down catches that move the chain or having 1 catch for a touchdown?
Rainier: I'll take converting on 3rd down any day. Touchdowns are great but there are lots of ways to score points. If the drive dies nobody scores. Knowing my quarterback trusts me on the vital downs to keep the chains moving is the highest compliment I could get.

Jay: Do you model your game after any of the other tight ends in the league?
Rainier: Jammerson Irving has been the most impressive guy at the position I've seen in a long time. I know he doesn't get the same clout that Olsen and Blaze might, but every move Irving makes has purpose and drives his team to the end zones. He's not just a vertical threat, he can make short grabs, block, and is a presence in the locker room.

Jay: Where do you feel you rank in your position group?
Rainier: That's a tough call, there are great tight ends in the S21 Draft Class. I feel very comfortable saying I have the best hands in the class, but that's not to say the others can't catch, it's just not their forte. There are a couple beasts out there as big as offensive tackles. It's all in what a team is looking for, but I'll put up dozens of grabs each season and will help any team drive down the field.

20) Ultimas Ad
Scene: An empty stadium. The field is lit but the seats and concourses remain in the dark. The night sky is black without stars.
The camera pans over the seats and onto the field working its way towards the tunnel.
Voiceover: This spring watch the DSFL Draft, only on The NSFL Network.
As the camera enters the tunnel the silhouettes of backlit players start to appear. George O’Donnell, wearing a black team-less jersey, steps out the tunnel and begins to run to the field. Immediately behind him a stampede of his classmates charge ready for action.
Smash cut to Cal Lidous throwing a deep bomb to Rusty Nails, immediately followed by a shot of Personsacker taking down an unnamed quarterback.
Voiceover: See the future stars of the NSFL today as they begin their journey to stardom. Watch to find out who the DSFL coaches trust to take their team to the top.
The field becomes more crowded as more players charge out every corner of the stadium now. Juniped Catfish sprints down the stairs in the stands and hurdles over the barrier. Dax Frost leaps over the back of Jerome Davis to catch a ball in the air. Even though the stands are empty the noise of an unseen crowd roars through the air. The energy and noise continue to rise to an absolute fever pitch as chaos unfolds on the field. The camera quickly flashes between the top players in the draft’s faces intensely dripping with sweat, then suddenly the noise cuts out and the camera shows O’Donnell standing alone at the center of the field holding a football.
George O’Donnell: But you’ll only find out if you watch.
He drops the ball and turns to the tunnel. Camera cuts to field level centered on the ball showing the DSFL logo. O’Donnell’s walks further out of focus away from the camera.
Voiceover: Tune in to the NSFL Network this Monday for the DSFL Draft, presented by Amazon.

[juniped]

2) Holiday Bowl
There are a couple changes I would make, first off the two uprights would both be one half of a christmas tree for more holiday spirit. Second each team has to start off the game with a white elephant game, and there is one mystery gift that lets the team win the game and this would replace the coin toss. To create some more holiday spirit each team has to wear an ugly Christmas sweater version of their jersey.
Now on to special rules. Every team has to replace their audible calls with Christmas Carols, this doesn’t change much but shows how good teams are at learning on the fly and adjusting. Next each QB has to wear a santa outfit, and every time they get sacked they have to give the player who sacked them a present, same if they throw an interception. Finally the penultimate rule, the rule to end all rules, I’m not adding extra text here you are. We replace the running backs with Reindeer. Thank you.


8) Scouting report:
Report on Juniped Catfish.
Age: 22
Position: RB
College: North Carolina State University
Year: Sr
Pos Rk: 5

Strong Points: He’s fast, real fast, maybe even one of the fastest players this draft. He is pretty slippery too, able to evade defenders and outrun anyone trying to cover him. With a 40 Yard Dash of 4.28 seconds you can hand the ball off to him and just watch him fly. He’s ok after contact but more middling of the pack. However he’s willing to do whatever the team needs to improve.

Weak Points: Not the best catcher, while he can outrun good coverage he doesn’t have the softest hands. Also not great at blocking when it’s necessary. He still needs some work to refine the raw skill he has, as it seems he didn’t get a lot of that until his Junior year.

Conclusion: His skill isn’t as refined as others in the draft this year. That being said any time willing to put in the effort in him have a possible future star in the making. He will fit better with a run heavy offense as he won’t be as able to contribute to a passing game. He only had a couple years as a starter so he could easily improve even more with the drive to get better at his game sense and decision making. A diamond in the rough for any team willing.

9)
I have a soft spot for my fellow draftee Remon Kurisuto. He’s a man that enjoys speed as much as I do, and I can’t hate anyone who likes to go fast. I think we fast guys have to stick together, in a world full of powerful people. On top of that he seems to have a large fascination with lemons, which means there must be some crazy health benefit they have that I don’t know about. If I stick around him maybe I’ll learn something that will help speed me up.
In terms of other things that leave a soft spot for me, as an Asian American player, there’s not a lot of us and we have to stick together. Even though I’m Filipino it’s close enough and there are so few. Hopefully we can get drafted to the same team because he seems like a great guy. I think he will be a great draft for whatever team he goes to, and even if we don’t get drafted to the same team I look forward to competing against him. If you read this Remon, here’s to you and good luck in the draft please text me back. I need friends. @Lemon

12)
Interview with Jackmerius Tacktheritrix @matt2930
Q: What do you you can bring to the team that will draft you? in terms of in-game and out of game?
A:The team that drafts me will get a player who's sole life purpose is to tackle. Ever since I was a small child, I would take anything that moved, from my parents to my grandma (sorry granny!) Lucky, this translated well for football, and on the field the team that drafts me will have me bringing the pain every game. Defense wins championships. Off the field, my team can expect a lovable good who loves to play rocket league and give his teammates loving noogies

Q:Would you rather get drafted somewhere you can have the chance to make an instant impact but be on a potential worse team or a better team with the road to starting long and unsure?
I would prefer to get drafted somewhere that I will have a potential impact, even if it means that team has performed poorly in the past
Q:If you could pick one superpower, what would it be?
A: I would pick telekinesis, because I could still use it to fly, but also use it for getting HUGE LOSSES
Q: ok now are there any vets you look up to as a role model in the league? and how about other rookies you see as rivals?
A: I don't know any vets in the league but I see Larry Longshot as a rival DE in the league.

[SwagSloth]

5) Offseason Needs
Written: Write about what positions your team needs to address in the offseason for it to be successful. (NOTE - Please do not mention actual players under contract. Tampering exists)
Graphic: Explain in graphic form why your team needs that position.

Arizona has a few big name players moving on, either to other teams and/or retirement. QB Andrew Reese stepped down at the end of the season, surprising many people. He was still playing at a high level and many believe he could have continued on, but reports behind the scenes indicate that injuries were adding up and Reese wanted to move into a behind the scenes role. Thankfully, the team had DSFL GOAT QB Jay Cue lined up to take his place. Cue will have to learn the Outlaws system and a lot will depend on his ability to adapt to the NSFL as quickly as possible.

Another big focus will be the WR core. The team still has Brock Landers, but traded away Kazimir Oles and has Saba Donut testing Free Agency. Retaining Saba’s services should be priority #1 for the Outlaws. If they can not, they will need to go after a big name WR in the draft.

Another point of focus is the Secondary. With Bucky Barnes retiring and Beau Montgomery growing older, the team needs to find someone that can replace them both. The draft has some great candidates, but it will take time for a young rookie to learn the ropes, especially given the quality of WRs out there. Arizona needs to find a player to help them bridge the gap while they seek out a long-term partner for Lucas Knight.

234 Words

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8) Scouting Report
Written: Write a scouting report for one of the incoming draftees in either the NSFL or DSFL.
Graphics: Create a graphic showing their stats or attributes.

A lot of buzz has been generated about upcoming DSFL prospect Maz-Ta “Baby” Yoda. The 5‘6” running back almost appears to be a toddler standing next to the majority of his college teammates and will undoubtedly continue to find himself looking up to his future teammates in the DSFL and NSFL (if he makes it that far); however, he plays with a lot of heart. The small player earned the nickname “Baby” due to his small stature, but it’s a name he wears with pride. What he lacks in size, he makes up for in speed and mobility and DSFL scouts feel that he has the ability to take the league by storm if teams underestimate him. If nothing else, the player is unique and it’s important to find ways to stand out early on.

Yoda’s biggest challenge will be his lack of size and strength as he’s been known to get pushed around by opposing D-Linemen and Linebackers, but he’s proven that he can make the most of an opportunity if he is able to make it to the next level. This is a player that may not be consistent on every down, but he refuses to give up easily and is bound to pick up big yards when the moment is right for him.

215 Words

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9) Brotherly Love
Written: We always talk about what teams and players are our rivals. This season, give me what team or player you have a soft spot for.

Every year, I tend to write a snarky piece dumping on another team. Of course, it’s all in good fun, but this year I’m going to go the other route and show some love to the Austin Copperheads. After barely being squeezed out of a playoff spot by the Copperheads, it would be easy to be bitter, but I know how hard we fought this season and I’m sure they fought just as hard. Adam and Joe have put together an impressive squad over the last 5 seasons and it’s good to see that finally paying off. This is a locker room that stands united and that’s something we can all appreciate. Obstacles can bring people together and this season was a big step forward for them as a team.

One standout has been Chase Jensen. Though he’s technically listed as a safety, Jensen can play any role needed of him, bouncing away from safety to corner back to nickelback and even (reportedly) speed linebacker. Fellow secondary member Dermot Lavelle has also been a star, becoming one of the top Cornerbacks in the league in only a short time. Meanwhile, of course, on offense, it would be hard not to recognize Rod Tidwell, who has excelled as a big-time WR and indeed earned the “kwan”. And let’s not forget the man holding the offense together, QB Easton Cole, one of the most efficient passers in the league.

237 Words

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10) Commissioner
Written: ADwyer, long time commissioner, is stepping down in the new year. If you were to replace him, what changes would you make to the league?

About a month ago, Dwyer announced the timeframe for him to step down and posted a heartbreaking media piece detailing his experience in the role and why he’s stepping down. I think Dwyer’s done a great job. Much like HO, Commish is a very hard and thankless role. No matter what you do, you’re going to upset some people. It’s the nature of things. Dwyer walked that fine line well and managed to hold it together for a very long time, probably longer than most would have. It’s the type of role where you end up being treated like the bad guy. And that’s not anyone’s fault. The league has a lot of passionate people and that passion drives the league’s activity, but the bridge between passionate users and those in management roles is essential for the league to progress forward and I believe Dwyer did his best to be that bridge. I know, personally, he was also there when I had an issue or came to him with a problem. Ultimately, turnover is good and it’s probably for the best to get a fresh face in that role after enough time (regardless of who was in it). I truly hope that Dwyer finds the relief he deserves and I personally want to thank him for all he has done.

220 Words

[scorycory]

3) Revenge
There is really only one answer to this and that answer is Tijuana. We actually were very competitive with them throughout the season, giving them 2 of their 3 loses in the regular season as we beat them twice and lost to them twice. However, they ended up with a slightly better overall record than us so they got home field advantage, which was basically a death sentence for us. However we still put up a great effort against them as they barely pulled away from us in the 4th quarter. However next season is going to be different and my only regret is that yours truly, Kacey Dream will not be on the team to appreciate it. Not only is Myrtle Beach bringing back a TON of young talent but we should add some great bodies in the draft as well. Meanwhile Tijuana should be taking another step back next season from their former dynasty as they have players moving on to the big league and other players retiring. The old blood will step aside and make way for the new ways of the beach bois. Next season WE will be the ones with home field advantage and will be the ones in the Ultimini. And we won't choke against Minnesota like Tijuana did.

4) Resim!
As much as I would love to say the playoff game against Tijuana I will not because it wasn't during the regular season and there were 2 other games that actually decided that playoff game. The away games on our schedule against Portland and Minnesota decided home field advantage. I will go with the Portland game over the Minnesota one for one main reason. The Minnesota one was closer but in the game at Portland our running back Ricardo Rose had a serious case of the dropsies that game, fumbling a ball at the goaline which resulted in a 14 point swing in a game which we lost by 14. This game more than any other on our schedule was one that I feel like we should have won and this pivotal play and uncharacteristic loss of hands directly decided this game's outcome. Not only did it completely shift the momentum but it exactly made up the point differential. I feel like it would have been a very close game but if that fumble had never occured it probably would have ended up being something more like 27-24 Myrtle Beach. Had we punched in the ball at the goalline instead of fumbling it than we would have maintained a solid lead and the momentum in the game.

16) Dynasty
There are many reasons to be optimistic about the future of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. Not only do we have a couple of passionate new starry eyed GMs, we have a player base that seriously loves the team and the atmosphere in our locker room. We have a lot of young talent that we are retaining from last season and are sure to bring even more in. We went from being the worst team in the league two seasons ago to almost becoming the best, finishing the season with the second best record and being the only team to beat Tijuana twice, the previous "dynasty" who somehow hasn't managed to win an Ultimini the last two seasons. While we are bringing in a ton of young talent teams like Portland and Tijuana are just getting older and are losing a lot of the talent that they somehow have managed to retain for many seasons now. This is how they have managed to win the championships they have. Whereas we are following a silmilar trajectory to Minnesota; a youth movement sparked by a passionate and loving locker rooms that makes players excited to keep playing. We have gotten exponentially better since Myrtle Beach was created and we will continue to do so.

20) Ultimus Ad
Well there are two of our ads that aired during Ultimus and I'm sure you all saw. The first one being of course the Kraken rum ad. After our huge turnaround and the wild success we saw this season there were actually many companies that approached us with endorsement deals. A great deal of these were rum companies as well. After a VERY long and intense debate in our locker room we decided to go with Kraken over Captain Morgan and Bacardi. For what it's worth Captain Morgan was a fairly close second while Bacardi was deemed to not be piratey enough for us to associate with. We decided to film in our element aboard the good ship Myrtle Beach. After another great discussion in the locker room we also came to the conclusion that the commercial would take place during an actual Buccaneer party and it was a massive hit. The other choice thrown out there was we film drinking Kraken while pillaging and plundering but we didn't want to cast our team in a negative light to the public. The second commercial which aired only featured yours trulyb Kacey Dream. There was also a great fight for who would get my services but in the end I went with Serta mattress company, buy one and you'll sleep like a Dream.

[Modern_Duke]

9) Brotherly Love
When Louisiana Purchase entered the Season 18 NSFL draft, there was no consensus ranking among the prospects at cornerback. Several draft experts had Purchase as the top choice at the position, however a good number of mock drafts had him either falling to late in the first round or falling out of it completely. Meanwhile fellow cornerback Korrin Abernathy received roughly a similar amount of hype as Purchase, followed by Xavien Adams and David Rector. As we all know, Purchase was selected fourth overall, Abernathy ninth, Adams thirteenth, and Rector twenty first.

Ever since the draft I have tried to follow the careers of the other S18 cornerbacks. Partly to see if Purchase is doing better than them admittedly, but also hoping they are performing well. Thus far through two seasons it is hard to say who has been the best of the bunch. Purchase has compiled 127 tackles, 23 pass defenses, and 3 interceptions. Abernathy has 123 tackles, 22 pass defenses, and 3 interceptions. Adams has 114 tackles, 33 pass defenses, and 1 interception. Rector has 136 tackles, 8 pass defenses, and 3 interceptions (plus 6 sacks). As you can see it is a tight race. I hope for best for all of the S18 cornerbacks (just as long as they are slightly worse than Purchase, that is).

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19) OL or K/P Appreciation
To celebrate an unsung hero, I want to explore the special teams play of Orange County Otters kicker/punter Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname during this playoffs and see how much of an impact he had. Alex D a solid regular season, missing only two extra points and one field goal, and finished with the most points scored in the league. Alex also performed well as a punter, finishing fourth in the league with an average of 46.2 yards per punt, and the longest punt of the season, a 76 yarder.

In the semifinal against rival Arizona, Alex missed his only field goal attempt (which was over 50 yards), but made all four of his extra point attempts. Alex did average 47.0 yards on 3 punts, including one downed inside the opposing 20 yard line. In the Ultimus, Alex hit all three of his field goal attempts and all three of his extra points, which proved to be vital as Orange County went on to win the game by only three points. Alex again shined brightly in the punting game, with a 48.4 yard average on 5 punts, with two punts downed inside the 20. Alex's strong punting performance flipped the field enough to give the Otter's defense enough margin for error and Orange County held on for another Ultimus victory.

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6) Recruitment
If I were the general manager of a bot team, building a team from scratch I would look for a running back first. That may seem like a weird choice considering quarterback is obviously seen as the most important position on the field. However, if you can not be guaranteed a star at quarterback, I feel like the drop off between a 2nd tier guy and a bottom level guy is not that different. Running backs meanwhile can be the focal point of an offense (especially in the DSFL) in a lot of different ways. Even if you have a guy who can't be a '30 carries and 120 yards' type, he may be able to contribute in different ways, like as a pass catcher. Additionally, quarterback performance can be highly dependent on surrounding talent at wide receiver and tight end. Which brings me to my next point, is that once I had one offensive weapon, I would shift my focus almost entirely to the defense. I am personally partial to defensive backs, but defensive linemen and linebackers are probably more important in the run-heavy DSFL. But as they say, defense wins championships, so I would spend a good portion of my picks compiling defensive talent before addressing the offensive side of the ball again.

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16) Dynasty
The Colorado Yeti are just beginning to enter their window of becoming the next great dynasty. On the offensive side of the ball, quarterback Wolfie McDummy was one of the breakout players of season 19, putting together a season that actually almost rivals that of likely MVP winner Franklin Armstrong. Wolfie is still young and has several seasons of prime production left. New running back Ashley Owens proved to be a huge addition to the offense particularly in the passing game, where he proved himself to be one the best receiving threats out of the backfield in the league. Piled with breakout seasons from Lazslo Fourty-Two and Jim McMahon in the receiving corps.

On the defense, things are possibly even more exciting on the defensive side of the ball. Mo Berry is a star, and possibly the most talented linebacker in the league. Meanwhile, Steco Ocewilder, Terry Taffy, and Bubby Thumper make up one of the most fearsome defensive lines in the league. However, the real highlight is the secondary, where the Yeti boast having possibly three of the 12 or so most talented cornerbacks in the league in Alex Hornbacher, Quentin Sinclair, and Louisiana Purchase. They are joined on the back end by rising star and last year's defensive rookie of the year Pete Parker and veteran Logan Lejune.

[Lemon]

9)
I have a soft spot for my fellow draftee Juniped Catfish. He’s a man that enjoys speed as much as I do, and I can’t hate anyone who likes to go fast. I think we fast guys have to stick together, in a world full of powerful people. On top of that he seems to have a large fascination with pandas, which means there must be some crazy intelligence benefit they have that I don’t know about. If I stick around him maybe I’ll learn something that will help speed me up.
In terms of other things that leave a soft spot for me, as an Asian American player, there’s not a lot of us and we have to stick together. Even though I’m Japanese it’s close enough and there are so few. Hopefully we can get drafted to the same team because he seems like a great guy. I think he will be a great draft for whatever team he goes to, and even if we don’t get drafted to the same team I look forward to competing against him. If you read this Juniped, here’s to you and good luck in the draft please text me back. I need friends. @juniped

10)
I'd make sure that all new players get their daily dose of lemon. Did you know lemons are a good source of Vitamin C? That means they prevent scurvy. Can you imagine if our players were out mid-game and struggling to move from scurvy? We have to make sure that happens.
I believe it is the commissioners' jobs to keep the players safe, and engaged. Quite simply, that won't happen if everyone who joins the league is riddled with scurvy. I think the current commissioners have failed the league on this front, on many occasions.
So what's my plan? I'll tell you. Every new player has to eat a whole lemon when they sign up. Of course, they'll need to film it and send it to the commissioners for verification. We'll call it the Signup Verification Lemon (SVL). Next, each player will be required to eat another quarter lemon each week, and a half lemon every six weeks. This will help ensure that no player ever slips below that dangerous line of Vitamin C that causes scurvy. Finally, I will hire pirates, the scurvy experts, to patrol each locker room before games, and identify players running low on Vitamin C. They'll be made to redo the SVL process.
Thank you for reading.

16)
Okay. Let's start with the facts. I'm a lemon. That means I'm 100x more acidic than any of you human players. Now put me on the field. What kind of weight am I lugging around? None. That's right, none. I'm lightweight. Quick on my toes. Darting across the field in a matter of seconds. How are you gonna catch up to me? It's free passing every play.
The only possible way that the team that signs me loses a game, is if they don't put me on the field, or they don't throw to me. They'd be stupid to do so. Whoever signs me is going undefeated, and they're gonna hold the new season high for passing yards.
Fuck it, put me on the D-line. Who's gonna be able to catch a pass against me? You can't. I'll just dart in, scoop the ball and run it back. I'll be the most offensive defensive player you've ever seen! Want to try a run? You'll never outspeed the lemon. Rear safety, easy pins. Not a single soul will enter the end zone. On top of that, you try running some heavy guy against me? I'll just move fast enough that the momentum preserved in my motion is greater than his increase in mass.
It's just simple mathematics. No team that goes against me has a chance of winning a game, therefore they're guaranteed to be the next dynasty.

20) Since I'm not on a team yet, I'm gonna write about an ad for my draft class
The ad opens with a picture of a lemon with Remon Kurisuto standing beside it. Next follows a bear and Tequila Sunrise, a hot dog with , a slice of pie and Atlas Quin, a goose and Leon McDavid, the images get faster and faster as the intense music builds. Then... silence. CRASH! A rising drone shot of the draftees. Starts at head height and slowly moves upwards.
Cut to a slow-mo of players at the line of scrimmage. A narrator begins:
"A country of bright beginnings..."
closeup of someone adjusting their stance
"...has spawned one of the most prestigious sports in the world..."
new shot of the ball
"...and this season..."
quarterback yelling, no sound
"...the NCFL is bringing all new talent to the game"
ball snaps, slow mo ends, action shots of play
The quarterback rears a long throw, and the receiver is running for it. It looks like he'll get there but it's tight. It's right at the end zone!
cut to black, NSFL logo, shortly after "NSFL Draft 01/13/20"
Watching NSFL may cause diarrhea, vomiting, chest pain, runny nose, nunny rose, arthritis or death. Please consult your physician before watching NSFL. Also consult your physician if death occurs. NSFL maintains no liability for the actions of the viewers. Watch at your own risk. Watch responsibly. Don't watch and drive. This message was paid for by the Pro Lemon Draft Campaign.

[RedArrow12c]

Task 1: 13) Get interviewed by a vet

Task 2: 15) Superstardom - Graphic



Task 3: PBE Point Task

Task 4: 9) Brotherly Love

I have quite the relationship with @iamslm22, Avon Blocksdale Jr. We actually met away from the gridiron, rather we met on the baseball diamond. Blocksdale and I instantly bonded as we first started talking to each other as he watched on as I went through showcases and workouts for the Draft. We instantly bonded and became good friends. When Draft day arrived, I ended up joining the team that he is a member of. When I officially declared for the NSFL Draft, Blocksdale again watched on as I participated in Combines and other workouts to prove my worth in this league. As I work towards getting drafted a second time around, I know I have Blocksdale behind my as a mentor that I can lean on for help whenever I need it. He is a player that I know I can always call up to work on drills or get a quick lift in. Whatever team I end up on, I will support Blocksdale and hope nothing but the best for him. As for on the field, I know we will both be fierce competitors and hopefully by the end of this season we will both have found great success and be on our way to the big prize that every team strives for at the beginning of the season.

Code:

219 Words

[RilesMcGiles]

1) DSFL Ultimini Game Review

The Ultimini game between the Luchadores and the Grey Ducks was one of defense. Neither team did particularly well on the offensive side of the ball. Each team failed to convert at least ten 3rd downs and were only able to convert four each? That's not good for either offense.

Minnesota's one touchdown came on a particularly good drive where they didn't have to snap a single 3rd down play (which is impressive considering they had six first downs and a 1st and 20 at one point). Low 3rd down efficiency is irrelevant if you never have a 3rd down play. One clear advantage Minnesota had over Tijuana was in the run game. The Grey Ducks had almost 100 more rushing yards than the Luchadores. That ten-play touchdown drive from the Grey Ducks I mentioned? Nine of those ten plays were rushing plays and not a single one under 5 yards gained (except for one to get the first down). So of course you have to give props to their lead rusher, Darrel Williams.

To discuss the Luchadores, it was just the case where their offense couldn't get the job done. Tijuana's defense gave up only one touchdown despite all of the 3-and-outs their offense had. The Luchadores had six 3-and-outs. SIX! Out of thirteen possessions! You know how many Minnesota had? ONE! One of Tijuana's touchdowns I don't even count as an offensive touchdown because their defense intercepted it and carried it 72 yards downfield before being brought down practically at the goal line. Tijuana's defense kept them in the game, but their offense lost it for them.

The Grey Ducks won because of their defense, and the Luchadores lost because of their offense. Defense wins championships, and Minnesota had the better defense this game.

Words: 296

2) Holidays
It’s the holiday season, so obviously the game must have subtle, and not so subtle, adjustments to attract the casual viewer. First, a subtle change would be some wreaths on the outer walls of the field to add a nice little look on camera. Second, not so subtle, there’s snow covering the field. It doesn’t matter if the game is held in a southern climate or if it’s an indoor stadium, there’s snow. To combat the snow, there are colorful lights peeking through the snow at the hash marks and the yardage numbers.

Instead of alcohol going up and down the aisles, there’s hot cocoa and egg nog. When a team scores, gains a turnover, or otherwise makes a significant play, the team is rewarded with a present from a Santa in football gear. When they lose a turnover, get sacked, or allow a touchdown, they are pelted with coal from the crowd. The teams are in the spirit of giving, so don’t be surprised if you see a lot more interceptions where the quarterback “gifted” the ball to the other team. The press is involved in the action too. The reporters did a white elephant gift exchange but instead of gifts, they were unwrapping and stealing questions to ask the players and coaches. The controversial questions were hot-items.

Words: 219

8) Scouting
Riles McTackle has an interesting scouting report because he has very little football experience. His school background is Ohio State, but the Lima campus, which is a feeder school into the main Columbus campus, and doesn’t have a football program. Riles got his training via… unusual routines.

As a DT he needed to learn how to tackle people. So he joined a local fishing club misinterpreting what “tackle box” meant. Interestingly, he caught the most fish by tackling them in the water, so maybe he did learn something. As a DT he also needed to learn how to get past people. He best accomplished this by breaking through security as he shoplifted tackle boxes.

Riles McTackle is very difficult to judge because of his unique training. If his skills are honed in the right direction in the DSFL, he could become something for any offensive lineman to fear. On the other hand, his skills may not translate well and he’ll be pushed around the neutral zone with ease. Out of any of the defensive linemen in the draft, and possibly out of ALL rookies in the draft, he has the largest gap between his ceiling and his floor. Drafting this pick is definitely in the high risk/high reward category. Caution should be taken when considering this lineman.

Words: 218

10) Commissioner
If I were to become commissioner I would have a very big challenge to overcome, and that is my lack of experience as I am a new S21 rookie. There is a simple solution to this of course, and that is to ignore any of the existing rules or traditions and make my own game!

NSFL would turn into the BBSFL, or the Blood Bowl Sim Fantasy League (with emphasis on Fantasy). For those who don’t know, Blood Bowl is a game based in the Warhammer universe that is similar (but only barely) to American Football. Instead of attributes regarding arm, kicking power, and intelligence, the primary attributes would fall under only four categories: Strength, Agility, Speed, and Endurance. TPE would be used to increase those attributes much like the current NSFL. Agility is used for things like avoiding tackles, throwing, and catching; Strength is used for things like tackling and blocking; Speed is just how quickly you move down the field; Endurance is how well you can take a hit and avoid injury.

Players can choose different races that have bonuses to each of those attributes. Ratmen can run down the field really well but can’t take a hit. Giant mummies are slow but will smash you with one hand. Elves can’t hold a line but have the best ball handling in the league. TPE can also be used on mutations that will improve specific aspects of the game. Grow a third arm and your receiving abilities go up. Make yourself hard-headed and you can inflict more pain on your opponent. Invest in long legs and you can leap over linemen to get to the ball carrier.

There is no retirement in BBSFL, only death. The sport is dangerous, and every hit you take adds risk that you go down, which increases the risk of a serious injury. Those injuries can lead to death. The longer your career, the more serious injuries you’ll take, the more likely you’ll die next game.

GM’s have tools at their disposal too. They can use special team TPE to spend on luck (to avoid missed tackles or dropped passes), to spend on healers to reduce risk of serious injury, and to spend on corrupting the refs to make calls go your way.

It’s a new game, but that’s what you get when you made a S21 rookie that’s only been in the league less than a week your commissioner.

Words: 406

[TomHanks]

6) Recruitment
Well first and absolute foremost you know your boys are bringing the band back together for our greatest challenge yet, and not just because our previous challenge was winning with the best team in the league. Scorp is taking over as GM of Norfolk after stepping down from Baltimore. He needs a co. Scorp and I have never had a losing season, we have never lost a playoff game, we have won GMotY every single season we have worked as a duo, and we have won back to back Ultiminis. So that right there are a pair you know you’re setting up the franchise for lasting success. Step two is to build the locker room. Despite its rocky past Norfolk has some fantastic alumni so you want them back in the LR and ideally war room too ASAP. When you invite new guys in you want people already there to hype them up and let them know what your team is all about. That’s what your vets are for. Finally, make sure you find yourself a franchise QB early. Because of the setup of the DSFL, getting a great personality who will be on your team for 3 seasons can be huge. Stability is tough to come by so having someone who isn’t only there for one season is a worthwhile investment in the early rounds. Later, we’re looking for guys who will earn at consistent rates even if they aren’t max earners, but more importantly people that are going to want to make people hang out in the Norfolk LR.

10) Commissioner
Ladies and gentlemen there is a new sheriff in town. Ya boy has been chosen (for some unfathomable reason) to take over for Dwyer once he steps down. So, we’re gonna make some sweeping changes. First of all, Werewolf participation now counts as ways of earning TPE instead of point tasks because I assure you, I write more than 200 words per week playing that time suck of a game and it is technically speaking league related. Secondly, and obviously this comes from a place of neutrality since I am now the commissioner, an unbiased mediator, New Orleans gets to choose their draft position every season regardless of record. Why wouldn’t you just give them 1OA every season you ask? Well, what if we traded that pick away? It can be any position, and if people aren’t offering 1OA prices in return I’m not giving them the 1OA pick. Finally, in the event of a YKW vs OCO Ultimus, the trophy shall be immediately awarded to YKW before the game is played. This one is pretty self explanatory; we all know it’s just going to be OCO beating YKW again if we let them play and 9 trophies is far too many for any team to have.

11) Heroic Performance
There is no better time for a heroic performance than in the playoffs, and my friend and teammate Johnny Slothface did just that in our win at home against Austin. First drive of the game, Slothface aimed to set a tone for the entire game. On the back of two opening penalties, Austin was faced with a 3rd and 4. Slothface charged through the opposing offensive line, taking Cole down for a sack and forcing the punt. Sadly some scrub named Forrest Gump proceeded to fumble the ball, gifting Austin incredible field position and letting them score the opening points of the game. With the first quarter winding down, Austin was up 14-0, the NOLA offense had stalled, and Austin had the ball on 3rd down. Slothface yet again dragged Cole down to force Austin’s second punt of the quarter. The offense looked like it was moving, and then our QB got hit on a scramble in the red zone, fumbling the ball. After the defense held them to a 3 and out, Stan threw an interception for good measure, keeping us down 14-0. Slothface’s sack on Austin’s next drive was his 3rd of the half and set up a 3rd and 29 for Austin. Johnny finished the day with 8 tackles and 3 sacks, and near singlehandedly kept us in the game in the first half, allowing us to mount our comeback in the second.

19) OL or K/P Appreciation
Speaking about that comeback in the previous task, New Orleans would not have been able to make it past the Austin Copperheads without the help of their two big boys on the offensive line: Brave Ulysses and Givussafare Rubbe. Combining for 15 pancake blocks (8 for Ulysses and 7 for Rubbe) and 0 sacks allowed, the offensive tackles controlled the point of attack in the trenches. That lead New Orleans to 225 rushing yards to Austin’s 90, and helped propel NOLA’s total yardage advantage to 508 yards to Austin’s 312. More importantly, thanks to the work that those guys were putting in, our drives weren’t stalling in the second half no matter how much we ran the ball. That meant that even though we went down 14-0 in the first quarter, we dominated the time of possession battle, controlling the clock for 37:31 to Austin’s 22:29. That time of possession battle has been a huge priority of NOLA’s all season. If we are running the ball effectively, we don’t need to pass, we can eat up the clock, and we can score. That is only possible with the help of our offensive line. As a team we only allowed 7 sacks all season, with the next closest team allowing 12. Whether it was protecting the QB or blocking for our RB duo, these men should be lauded for a very impressive performance both this season and in this game.

[rapideagle]

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